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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and why?


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RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 3/31/2007 12:59:59 PM   
MissDiscipline


Posts: 117
Joined: 10/1/2006
From: Domme Beach Calif
Status: offline 		I try to date vanilla.s. But when I  run into very dominant men  saying some  very dominant statements that my dominance  cant except , I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I threaten to punish for that indescrection with a paddle or my whip. Then as usual, I see that infamous twinkle in their eye. Alas my vanilla is becoming submissie, drooling for correction. Do vanillas really exist?

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 3/31/2007 1:47:08 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Nice to see this thread brought back, especially since my "potential" submissive is not working out.
::Deep Sigh:: I have still have no desire to date vanilla!
Also, those in the vanilla dating world don't seem to think it is so great either.
Finding quality relationships is just not easy these days!
Lets all hang in here ladies!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MissDiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 3/31/2007 2:22:29 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		I've corrupted many a boy. My best slaves we simply naturally submissive that I trained. Today I femdom date only. It doesn't matter if they are a novice as long as they get my program and agree to abide by my rules. I lay all the cards on the table. Vanilla is just not an option.

_____________________________



(in reply to mam)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 3/31/2007 3:56:35 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Mia - there is hope.  A boy that I talked to as friends a year or so ago (he didn't want to be considered as anything else because he was planning to move out of state after he graduated - already had a job lined up) has moved back to the area and wants to be considered   I'm sure that one will show up for you too.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/1/2007 12:32:53 AM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		Okay... so I didn't read all the pages - lol.

I don't date as I'm attached.  My primary relationship is vanilla (kinda).  The guy I'm with I've know for most of my life.  We dated in junior high and in high school.  We lived together a few times and broke up a few times.  The last time around has been the most enduring and that is partly due to realizing that we both have an interest in the lifestyle.  Fortunately, or maybe, unfortunately we both have the same interest in the lifestyle.  That is to say that we both identify as Top types.  Guess that might explain our attraction and our hard time in finding a compromise sometimes - lol.

I am very open about my lifestyle choice and don't think I could ever go back to dating vanilla men.  I think that women being out about their lifestyle choice while dating is much easier than men being out about such things.  Maybe this is because the vanilla world sees women who make an active choice about what kind of sexuality to persue as loose moraled and men who make the same kinda choices are seen as seriel killers in training.  Most vanilla men want a slut but not many vanilla women are interested in being a famous dead person - lol.

Just some thoughts,
Wickad

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/1/2007 1:27:54 AM   
servilecat


Posts: 126
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		i came on to the lifestyle accidently after my first marriage ended 10 years ago.  Unfortunately my second husband said he was Dominant but he turned out to be a vanilla submissive that couldn't handle any pain.  It's taken me 3 years to divorce him...it was final in February. 

AND....i swear by all that is holy or unholy in me that i will never, ever, ever go vanilla again.  When You really think about it, is there any reason to?  Any relationship is going to be just the right mix of ingredients to cook up just the right recipe whether it be vanilla or lifestyle.  i find it hard to believe Anyone in the lifestyle could or should set aside their needs and date vanilla.  That seems like dating the wrong man and hoping he will change and thinking i could change him.  As always though, to each Their own :)

(in reply to Wickad)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/1/2007 1:31:52 AM   
kate


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/10/2004
Status: offline 		i do...if i didn't i would be alone a lot of the time...there is not much of a comunity here.... i am kind of starting a relantionship with a nilla guy right now... bu he does have a naturally dominant personality......AND someone does not have to be a Dom in order for me to get pleasure from pleasing them :)

_____________________________

Katherine of the East

(in reply to mam)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/1/2007 1:53:15 AM   
ArtofWar


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: offline 		I'm with you, kate.

In my own natural submissiveness, I derive great pleasure from pleasing the man I am with. And being relatively new to the lifestyle, I've really only known vanilla in the dating scene. Was engaged to one once (didn't even know enough about myself to say I was a sub then.)

I do date vanilla, especially if they intrigue me mentally, and it's not just about the sex. I like someone to challenge my mind.
I'm currently dating (in the beginning stages) a nilla man, who I've known for 17 years as a friend, and he knows about CM and my interest. He's not used to being treated well by a woman, and it makes me enormously happy to do things for him that put a smile on his face. It's a rather happy arrangement at the moment.

I can understand the other side as well, as this is new for me, I'm not sure that in the long run I won't need a non-vanilla relationship. But, I can only decide to be happy for myself, and do what I can.

(in reply to kate)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/2/2007 4:55:19 PM   
TigressFL


Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline 		I am the type of personal that can seperate love and sex AND sex and M/s. I have certainly had vanilla sex just for the sexual release but not a relationship.

Tigress



(in reply to mam)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/3/2007 6:17:03 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		I don't date anymore since I am engaged, but I would consider dating a vanilla providing they were fun and interesting.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to mam)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/3/2007 6:18:02 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


Do you date vanilla? meaning non lifestylers?
Why?  Do you enjoy it?
Do you tell them about this lifestyle?



have dated vanillas but never again.

A lifestyler sub broke my heart in 2000 and I had a couple of other dead end D/s liaisons after that.

My family pointed out it could be the type of man (kinky) and the way I met them (BDSM scene) that was the problem

I tried dating "normal" men through-out 2004.  It was a miserable year.  So miserable, I chose to give up relationships altogether and date no-one. I went travelling the world instead. 

Did I tell?  Yes if they seem receptive to the idea.  No if they seemed very anti-BDSM.  For example, I asked a doctor I was dating what he thought of BDSM and  he said it was a sure sign someone was damaged goods....... needless to say I shut up for the rest of the date!!






_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/13/2007 6:00:44 AM   
MissDesiree


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		I tried dating vanilla for about a month.  My date told me "You are such a bitch sometimes!"  My reply was "And that's a bad thing?"  So I decided it was best to stick to lifestyle dates. 

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/13/2007 10:59:24 AM   
PhDslave


Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		i still do a fair amount of  vanilla dating, but it's getting tougher and tougher now.

(in reply to MissDesiree)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/13/2007 12:46:51 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, I date vanilla and enjoy it, going to movies, comedy shows, dinner etc.  Yes, they do know about my dominate side. I've opened up about it and the response is mostly intrigue and curiosity.  None really surprised because I like to dominate naturally. 

Right now Im celibate.  But would like to eventually meet a sub that I can do all of these things with including, bdsm and later down the road...sex.  That would be my ultimate sub.

(in reply to mam)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/13/2007 2:41:41 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Ah, but I vanilla date my potential submissives in the beginning as we get to
know each other.
I would never jump into an instant BDSM relationship, but after a while of
vanilla dating--> then comes the fun part.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Ladies, Do you date vanilla? {Non lifestylers} and ... - 4/13/2007 5:00:25 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Exactly Mia ... if we can't have the 'vanilla' aspects of a relationship with our boys as well as the BDSM aspects, then there ISN'T a relationship. 

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 56
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