RE: Inappropriate Questions

RE: Inappropriate Questions (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

SimplyMichael -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:29:05 AM)
A munch is exactly where those sort of questions should get asked and the person asking them should then be educated on why those are not appropriate. Munches are upside down, you can't talk about what you would talk about at a party but you can talk about what you wouldn't at a normal party. Is your cunt shaved or do you swallow are appropriate questions, where do you work is not.

julietsierra -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:32:21 AM)
I have to say that the best (by far) new meeting situation I've run across lately was also last night - sort of. Last month, we sat across from each other and were part of the conversation at hand without actually inquiring about each other. We were simply part of the group. This month, that person came over at the end of the evening and both of us felt comfortable with each other. We were able to share names without him inquiring if there was more to my name than juliet. We both laughed about being uncomfortable with small talk and meeting new people and all that. He asked if I belonged to anyone and I was able to say that I did but that he couldn't be here that evening. He asked if I was friends with some of the people he's friends with and I was able to say that they are my closest friends. I asked him how long he'd known them. He was able to respond to that, and the conversation went from there. In short, neither of us asked questions that could be considered intrusive. Neither of us behaved in a manner that was inappropriate and both of us allowed time to take care of the difficulties we both have with small talk. Because of his interests and mine and our mutual friends', once he meets my Master, I see a pretty nice friendship possibly in the making. And he never once asked me where I worked, what I did for a living or where I lived. juliet

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:34:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes *as windchymes said... if it is that uncomfortable for you then perhaps you shouldn't attend munches.* I do want to clarify that I did not mean that in a negative way.....with your type of professional position, you are very right to be concerned, because, as you know, being "discovered" or outed by the wrong person could cost you your job. I didn't mean it in a negative way... I agree that there are some people that can NOT under any circumstances be "out" due to family or work related issues... I think it's sad that it's like that and only time, education, and legislation will change that for them. For them I believe it's just best if they find other avenues to meet others in the lifestyle. So, no, I wasn't quoting you out of context... I was attempting to be sympathic... not something I do well apparently. That and try and show her how it looks, or could look from the other side. *Jewel*

ScooterTrash -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:35:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel quote: See how small talk can be so difficult? *If someone is acting towards me in an inappropriate manner I have no problem going to the group moderator and telling them about it...* Presuming of course that there IS a group moderator. Presuming even more that they'll actually DO something about it. juliet I think I am starting to see the problem, a respectable organized munch will have someone in charge in most cases. And if your "group" is one where you would even have to question if someone would deal with "situations", that is not a group I would associate with in the first place. By and large, my experience is that most folks frequenting a munch would have similar concerns as you, but would be more open in that surrounding than, say, in a bar. In a bar, I wouldn't feel it was inapproriate at all for someone intoducing themselves to give me their name and ask what I did for a living. Honestly, most of the questions you cited would be expected, answer them in any manner you feel appropriate (vague), but do realize that being too secretive is going to raise suspicions from the majority of people. Inappropriate questions I would categorize as more intimate and perhaps specific BDSM related subjects, depending on how new this person is to you. If someone wants to know your limits before they want to know your name...that would raise an eybrow.

KatyLied -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:35:40 AM)
If I'm going to sit and have a meal and talk to people, I like to have a feel about who they are and for me a lot of that has to do with their line of work and interests. As others have mentioned, it is possible to answer those questions in broad terms without giving up sensitive information.

Rover -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:36:36 AM)
There's no telling what questions an individual may find inappropriate, despite the (presumably) innocent intentions of the questioner. I don't see why anyone would be offended if they asked a question, and someone replied with a smile "Ask me again after we've gotten to know one another a little better" (the smile is important). John

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:38:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover There's no telling what questions an individual may find inappropriate, despite the (presumably) innocent intentions of the questioner. I don't see why anyone would be offended if they asked a question, and someone replied with a smile "Ask me again after we've gotten to know one another a little better" (the smile is important). John *Soooooooo John....when are you gonna prove what a nice ass you have? Or is that inappropriate? (opps... almost forgot....BIG GRIN!!!)* *Jewel*

Rover -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:41:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel quote: ORIGINAL: Rover There's no telling what questions an individual may find inappropriate, despite the (presumably) innocent intentions of the questioner. I don't see why anyone would be offended if they asked a question, and someone replied with a smile "Ask me again after we've gotten to know one another a little better" (the smile is important). John *Soooooooo John....when are you gonna prove what a nice ass you have? Or is that inappropriate? (opps... almost forgot....BIG GRIN!!!)* *Jewel* Asking that question is not inappropriate, Jewel. My answering it here would be (ie: contact me privately). John

MistressSassy66 -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:46:19 AM)
Maybe I have it all wrong but I thought Munches where to 1.Meet people who share same outlook. 2. Have casual discussions about whatever needs to be addressed to get to know someone. 3.Have fun meeting and chatting with the above mentioned. I personally am more than happy to discuss all apects of My life. Its like a good book with lots of twists and turns.Ups and downs too...Wink And I dont swallow or spit...if that thing even gets near My face its getting whacked with a stick. [sm=paddle.gif]

windchymes -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:48:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes *as windchymes said... if it is that uncomfortable for you then perhaps you shouldn't attend munches.* I do want to clarify that I did not mean that in a negative way.....with your type of professional position, you are very right to be concerned, because, as you know, being "discovered" or outed by the wrong person could cost you your job. I didn't mean it in a negative way... I agree that there are some people that can NOT under any circumstances be "out" due to family or work related issues... I think it's sad that it's like that and only time, education, and legislation will change that for them. For them I believe it's just best if they find other avenues to meet others in the lifestyle. So, no, I wasn't quoting you out of context... I was attempting to be sympathic... not something I do well apparently. That and try and show her how it looks, or could look from the other side. *Jewel* I knew you didn't, and meant to say so when posting, but forgot! :) I meant to just clarify to the OP or to anyone who thought I was being snotty, because I was afraid I did!

gypsygrl -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:49:00 AM)
Personally, and I'm probably odd in this respect, I think its bad form to ask direct personal questions of anyone you've just met or don't really know. If I want to get to know someone, I begin by sharing information about myself in the hopes that they respond similarly. I leave it up to them to respond or not and they can respond in a way that is comfortable for them. At a munch, I would avoid very specific questions about anything and keep things at a very general level that doesn't force someone to disclose anything about themselves that they don't want to disclose. Even if they've got nothing to hide, they might not be comfortable telling me stuff. I'm like this in all contexts.

julietsierra -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:49:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied If I'm going to sit and have a meal and talk to people, I like to have a feel about who they are and for me a lot of that has to do with their line of work and interests. As others have mentioned, it is possible to answer those questions in broad terms without giving up sensitive information. So ask me what I like to do in my spare time. I'm a "boat person." I LOVE to talk about being out on the water, swimming, fishing, waterskiing, and in the winter, ice fishing, ice skating and ice boat sailing. Most of the people that I end up sitting with at the munches are also "boat people"...what can I say? We're already counting down to April 15th (when some of us who are more daring - or more interested in pursuing the spring runs get our boats back in the water.) juliet

angelic -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:51:00 AM)
~fast reply to no one in particular~. i can see myself as being one of those that ask some of those questions others think are inappropriate, quite innocently; not even considering that someone else might be concerned that i am a fruitloop or a stalker, etc. i truly do not see anything wrong with asking a general question such as 'what do you do for a living' or 'what area do you live in'. i most certainly would not be expecting to receive a company name for their employer or their street address for their residence. In fact, i would wonder about someone that gave me that information right off the bat. However, if for instance i asked what line of work they were in and they said accounting, or law, or social work there might be common ground to discuss the principles of accounting, and so on. i simply do not think those questions are inappropriate, but perhaps the answers might be.

KatyLied -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 7:58:08 AM)
At a munch I attended I found it more uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of too much info about the participants. Who had dom'd who, for example: Dom A is sub B's ex, but now he's with sub C and they may try poly, with sub B, but not sure. For a first timer, it was too much information for me.

juliaoceania -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 8:01:47 AM)
There are questions people ask that I do not want to respond to, and if I do not want to respond, I do not. Ask me anything you like, I may or may not answer. Those series of questions I may or may not want to answer, but I see nothing wrong in asking them, or inappropriate. For two other people sitting in the exact same way, the conversation would be entirely different I am sure.

kyraofMists -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 8:04:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Do you swallow? g As a first question one time I got, "what finger do you masturbate with?"

angelic -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 8:07:51 AM)
i was thinking about what question someone could ask me where i would be uncomfortable and oddly enough the first question that came to mind was "are you owned?" i am not owned; however, i would be very uncomfortable answering that question truthfully out of fear of being "fresh meat". hmmm... yep that question would make me uncomfortable as hell.

julietsierra -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 8:09:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Do you swallow? g As a first question one time I got, "what finger do you masturbate with?" rofl![sm=banghead.gif] In retrospect, doesn't that just tempt you on some level want to answer "the whole HAND baby!!" just to watch the expression on their face? juliet

eyesopened -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 8:11:35 AM)
i once had a person get upset with me for my vague and broad answers to where i work, which i really cannot reveal because of the conflict it has with my lifestyle. But that was only once. i'm also shy but i have learned by being on this planet for 53 years that there is a way to redirect a conversation towards one's comfort zone. i really look at the motive behind the questions rather than the questions themselves. Someone may ask a question that seems inappropriate because they don't know what else to ask and have been taught that to ask personal questions denotes an interest in that person. shrug For me, if someone asks me what i do, i give a general description and then ask "and what about you?" For me, asking what i do for a living or where i live aren't intrusive or inappropriate. To ask me who is my supervisor, how much do i make and what is my street address, would be.

mnottertail -> RE: Inappropriate Questions (1/13/2007 8:12:09 AM)
Do you swallow? Do you spank? these are fundamentals. I have to yank with the whole fuckin hand myself. FYI, Ron

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.1113281