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Dumped - 1/18/2007 6:22:51 AM   
karensa


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		We had been chatting for weeks, we got on really well, lots of text messages,   
phone calls each day, online chatting. There were many miles inbetween us
but we thought it was worth the effort for we had a certain chemisty.    
We decided to meet to see if we had that chemistry face to face, we did. 
We had a wondeful time and decided to go forward into a D/s                
relationship together. We were chatting of limits and boundries ...
while being open and honest i mentioned that i enjoyed penetrative sex,
he became very objectional and left the conversation, i then received an
e-mail saying goodbye, i am so upset we had so many plans.
Do Doms usually leave their would be sub so very easily?
Maybe i just wasnt worth the effort :-( . My profile is not active
we both decided to deactivate and i am not ready to put mine back
yet. I would appreciate some advice. Thank you.




Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 6:28:46 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: karensa

We had been chatting for weeks, we got on really well, lots of text messages,   
phone calls each day, online chatting. There were many miles inbetween us
but we thought it was worth the effort for we had a certain chemisty.    
We decided to meet to see if we had that chemistry face to face, we did. 
We had a wondeful time and decided to go forward into a D/s                
relationship together. We were chatting of limits and boundries ...
while being open and honest i mentioned that i enjoyed penetrative sex,
he became very objectional and left the conversation, i then received an
e-mail saying goodbye, i am so upset we had so many plans.
Do Doms usually leave their would be sub so very easily?
Maybe i just wasnt worth the effort :-( . My profile is not active
we both decided to deactivate and i am not ready to put mine back
yet. I would appreciate some advice. Thank you.



I would fully suggest if that's how he handled something you're better off without him.
If chastity is against his rules to the point he'd flip out on you for saying you like it then he's not what he claims to be. He should have mentioned that up front or he should hve just explained his point without being so hostile.
I would definately just cross him off my list and keep moving.
If he behaves toward you over something as rational and normal as intercourse what's he going to do to you if you make a mistake and he punishes you?
He just sends up the vicious red flag and the asshole red flag to me.
HEAD FOR THE HILLS MISSY, BEFORE IT"S TOO LATE TO SAVE YOURSELF is my advice.
suzanne

(in reply to karensa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 6:29:16 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		and of course you used the search button, *****............couldn't find a thing

and decided to make a profile (prolly ****) that is not findable

and shoot oneliners to an old pervert like me and expect valid advice from these many ghosts in the machine?

I guess that seems rather commonplace.

Ron

Same as the first one I sent you, with revisions because of age,  but you were with a dom for quite sometime in that post. Now we got another same same.....

I still say wanker, same as first time. 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to karensa)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 6:36:26 AM   
findmedaddy


Posts: 254
Joined: 5/18/2006
From: Maine
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

and of course you used the search button, *****............couldn't find a thing

and decided to make a profile (prolly ****) that is not findable

and shoot oneliners to an old pervert like me and expect valid advice from these many ghosts in the machine?

I guess that seems rather commonplace.

Ron

Same as the first one I sent you, with revisions because of age,  but you were with a dom for quite sometime in that post. Now we got another same same.....

I still say wanker, same as first time. 


Ron,

Your messages would be fun, like a crossword, if there were a number to call to crack the code. Well, they are fun, but I hardly ever understand them.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 6:37:50 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		search the users posts to date (that is the key)

LOLOLOLOLOL,
CaptainConundrum

Oh, yeah, and dont dumped and I got fucked posts belong in general forum before they get moved to random stupidity?  or in ask a submissive if you want to be petted and empathy and sympathy? That has to be in the TOS somewhere...LOL

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 1/18/2007 6:40:50 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to findmedaddy)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 6:54:17 AM   
findmedaddy


Posts: 254
Joined: 5/18/2006
From: Maine
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

search the users posts to date (that is the key)

LOLOLOLOLOL,
CaptainConundrum

Oh, yeah, and dont dumped and I got fucked posts belong in general forum before they get moved to random stupidity?  or in ask a submissive if you want to be petted and empathy and sympathy? That has to be in the TOS somewhere...LOL


I see, yes. I hope the question about where the post belongs wasn't addressed to me, because I'm on a relentless quest for sympathy and would post anywhere I thought I could get it (e.g., absolutely *nowhere* on collarme.com).  My cat is a good listener, though, so it's ok, even if scientists have now determined that it's no longer therapeutic for me to hug and pat him.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 7:20:38 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: karensa

We had been chatting for weeks, we got on really well, lots of text messages,   
phone calls each day, online chatting. There were many miles inbetween us
but we thought it was worth the effort for we had a certain chemisty.    
We decided to meet to see if we had that chemistry face to face, we did. 
We had a wondeful time and decided to go forward into a D/s                
relationship together. We were chatting of limits and boundries ...
while being open and honest i mentioned that i enjoyed penetrative sex,
he became very objectional and left the conversation, i then received an
e-mail saying goodbye, i am so upset we had so many plans.
Do Doms usually leave their would be sub so very easily?
Maybe i just wasnt worth the effort :-( . My profile is not active
we both decided to deactivate and i am not ready to put mine back
yet. I would appreciate some advice. Thank you.







you're alot luckier than most. some people don't get passed the online bs. discussions made, possible meetings and collars mentioned...and then *POOF*

it takes some time to trust again...believe me


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to karensa)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 7:27:58 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think you raised your expectations and commitment level too soon- but that's very normal for people.

A lot of guys will be willing to be your dom as long as you don't question them or make them think about anything beyond their comfort zone.  Once you do- they run for the hills (the good way) or they try and shame and guilt you into stopping (the bad way).

Remember, a hot kinky date is a hot kinky date.  Relationships take time to build, no matter how hot the chemistry may be.  Now you have had an unfortuate but fairly mild bad experience and next time will know to go slower, be more thorough and take more time before making a commitment.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 7:38:07 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
quote:

next time will know to go slower, be more thorough and take more time before making a commitment.


i know this statement was meant for the OP, but i just had to say that, if i go any slower, snails would outrun me

LOL


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 7:57:43 AM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		hold up....... he flipped out cause you wanted sex??? castrado for sure.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to karensa)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 8:19:28 AM   
LadyKimberly33


Posts: 38
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		karensa

I have had the same thing happen on the flip side, My sub thought it was not appropriate for a Mistress to want sex from her pet. Count yourself lucky he was gone before you got any more involved.

(in reply to BDSM05478)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 8:36:54 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		It's okay for him to beat you black and blue but not to have sex with you? Very strange. I assume he has either weird hangups or a physical problem he's ashamed to talk about. Count yourself lucky in either case.

Next time, try to meet for coffee halfway between a lot sooner. Before you build up so many hopes and invest so much.

(in reply to LadyKimberly33)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 8:54:56 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		a Mistress should not have sex with her pets.  Get a submissive for that.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 9:16:18 AM   
dvart


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: karensa

i then received an e-mail saying goodbye, i am so upset we had so many plans.


This has touched a raw nerve with me. I am quite new to this, but it seems like people think that the internet gives them permission to behave in ways that they would never dream of doing in "normal" life. Either that or Collarme is filled with socially dysfunctional people.

I can hardly count the number of times I have to talked to Women for long periods only to be dropped for no apparent reason.

Ok they have found someone else, shit happens, but why not some kind of explanation ? You would never do it in real life, so why in cyberspace ?

I am normally a trusting kind of person, but I feel this trust evaporating fast.

Is kindness too much to expect?

(in reply to karensa)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 9:18:41 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dvart
This has touched a raw nerve with me. I am quite new to this, but it seems like people think that the internet gives them permission to behave in ways that they would never dream of doing in "normal" life. Either that or Collarme is filled with socially dysfunctional people.

Collarme is no exception to this, it happens everywhere.  And from what I've seen, plenty of people do it in real life.  Heck, they even have a TV show where Shannon Dougherty does the dumping for you!

quote:


Is kindness too much to expect?

In this situation, yes.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to dvart)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 9:19:17 AM   
LadyKimberly33


Posts: 38
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		thanks Dnomyar,

sub=pet as that is what I called him, but you could have a point!!

(in reply to dvart)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 9:27:49 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Just playing with you Lady Kimberly

(in reply to LadyKimberly33)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 9:34:07 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Wait...  He was against having sex? 
*going back to bed*
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: karensa
i mentioned that i enjoyed penetrative sex,
he became very objectional and left the conversation,


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to karensa)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 9:35:16 AM   
dvart


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Collarme is no exception to this, it happens everywhere. 


But rape happens everywhere.
Murder happens everywhere.
Illegal invasions of other peoples countries happens.
Bush/Blair happens.

But that doesn't make it desirable or inevitable.

No kindness = No trust = No society

If you have to assume that everyone you meet is going to shit over you, what sort of world is that?
(well Iraq I suppose)


< Message edited by dvart -- 1/18/2007 9:39:20 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dumped - 1/18/2007 10:02:52 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dvart
No kindness = No trust = No society

Well I think you're overgeneralizing.

I said many people act like that- not all.  Many people don't.
quote:


If you have to assume that everyone you meet is going to shit over you, what sort of world is that?
(well Iraq I suppose)

Assuming that all people will act kindly and mannerfully is as unrealistic and pointless as assuming that all people will act unkindly and unmannerfully.

Online it's certainly best to have no expectations, and be pleasantly surprised when good things do happen.

I generally expect people to act like most people generally act.  Most people generally act like nice and decent people.  Almost everyone acts like an asshole at least some of the time.  If you let that some of the time become your focus then you will lose perspective on reality. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to dvart)
Profile   Post #: 20
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