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How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:02:28 PM   
thaimeeuppppp


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		if anyone cares to share how they discovered this. On their own? or thru sexual experience with another. I personally found that when I would read erotica of  BDSM nature i would get unbearably excited whenaomeone was enslaved and objectified. Specially if it was against their will or there was blackmail of some kind involved. SO that at 1st the sub resisted but once taken there realized it was what he/she wanted.I was 15 when this started
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:10:02 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline 		When I knew something about me was different or when I learned that there was word for it?  It was a 20-year gap.

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:12:20 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		i was very young when the lil boy next door would tie me to the tree... but i was in my early 20's when i was first flogged

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to MaryT)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:17:15 PM   
thaimeeuppppp


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		I should add that it never occured to me I would enjoy sex with men untill  I got raped in the LA county jail when I was 19. I do also enjoy fantasizing that I am a woman and love to cross dress. I enjoy sex with women too but more when its part of a 3 some. Discovered that at an orgy also in Los Angeles when i was 20

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:20:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		My standard answer- orientations are innate while expressions of orientations are learned and shaped

http://www.collarchat.com/m_744252/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#744266
Do you think you were "born this way"?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_691960/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#691984
naturally Ds?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_499963/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#499979
Nature or nurture?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_307130/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#307130
Do you feel being a dom/me is innate or can be learned?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_461558/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#461558
hard-wired, why why why!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_143698/mpage_1/key_born%252Craised/tm.htm#143698
nature versus nurture

http://www.collarchat.com/m_760860/mpage_2/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#761518
born to serve?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_468650/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#468650
nature vs nurture

http://www.collarchat.com/m_35901/mpage_1/key_learned%252Cborn/tm.htm#35901
born or learned, how we become dom?


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:23:27 PM   
HatesParisHilton


Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		6.

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:31:59 PM   
isis1013


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline 		I also did not know what I was until I learned there was a name for it - and I was therefore a late bloomer, around 38 years old.

However, my earliest memory of being turned on while either doing or watching things involving bondage, objectification, rape/forced/coerced sex, etc., was about age 10-11 when I found that movies, even cartoons, that depicted a female being chased by or 'taken' by force by a man REALLY excited me. It was also about that time that I began playing 'kinky' with my Barbie, Ken and GI Joe dolls!

In my scenarios, Joe was the 'Dom' because he was the more masculine of the 2 men, and also he handy dandy moveable arm and legs joints, all the better to grab and do naughty things with to Barbie. I would have Joe fight off Ken, take Barbie by force, remove her clothes, tie her up and.....





Well, and nothing. hehehe  At age 10 or 11 I didn't know what sex was nor did I know what would come next after she was naked and bound. But I DID know that this was somehow taboo yet it definitely excited me.

isis


(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:35:13 PM   
DeepWaters


Posts: 118
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		about 6 for the Dom part, about 12 for the sadist and fetishized anothers erotic pain around 18

(in reply to isis1013)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:42:02 PM   
Nikolette


Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		hm.

It really depends. I could tell that I enjoyed being the one in control from a very young age. But I had no names or lables for it.

When I was 15 I met a "slave" online who decided I should enslave him and boss him around and he introduced me to a lot of terms and such. It wasn't really my thing though since he was clearly topping from the bottom in order to fulfill his teenaged fantasies. (he was seventeen)... but after that I researched things and started trying them out with vanilla boyfriends and from then on I knew I leaned toward being a Domme. ... It wasn't until I was about eighteen that I really began to persue it with my love interests and trying things out... and it wasn't until a few years ago that I knew I was DONE with vanilla relationships.

So basically there wasn't a clear cut age for me... it was a process.

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 8:46:48 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		30 something?

(in reply to Nikolette)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 9:09:49 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		I used to day dream about being kidnapped, tied up, used against my will ... all starting in junior high.  Although I always daydreamed about submissive things ... I dommed for 8 years ... I am very attracted and turned on by sadism

_____________________________

My Journal

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/23/2007 9:12:39 PM   
thaimeeuppppp


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		these are all very interesting replies. I thank you for sharing

(in reply to BabyNyla)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 5:12:07 AM   
eruditegirl1


Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline 		I found out at 40.....If I had been more promiscuous ......I would have realized sooner....

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 5:27:17 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I always knew that dating left something to be desired unless I was the one making al the decisions and calling all the shots. At age 15 when I started dating, that was about al it was since I wasnt having sex, al I knew was that I prefered to be in control.
At age 18, I found out what it wsa to be dominant over a man in more than just a decision making way when my close friend and (after that night) mentor left me with 2 of her slaves and told them to "thank me properly for babysitting them." The power exchange was what I had always wanted, and I actively pursued other relationships like it. I had a few steps back into Vanilla relationships when I met people who werent into the lifestyle, but I was always the dominant member of those as well, when they were working.

So, Id say 18 was my official enterance into the lifestyle I have grow to know and love.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to eruditegirl1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 5:33:36 AM   
TheShadows


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline 		Let's see...Causing other peoples' pain has been a facination and passion for me since I was a small child; probably around 8 years old.  I found out about the lifestyle through a medieval role-playing chatroom when I was 17 years old (1999).

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 5:48:48 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i was a very young child, i can't even say how young when i would fall asleep with thoughts (completely non-sexual since i had no concept of it) of being restrained and controlled in some fashion or another.  it was my secret.  as i grew older i thought maybe something was wrong with me.  When i reached puberty the sexual aspect was incorporated.  i was convinced i was mentally sick or something.  as a teen i'd heard about S&M and i knew i wasn't one of those because my thoughts had never been about pain so i figured i was so strange that even S&M wasn't right for me.  i felt lost, alone, and in a lot of ways i still do.  i knew there might be people who liked B&D and i felt that was more in tune with what i felt but i had no way of knowing there were others like me or where to find them.

my first real experience with BDSM was 18 years ago.... but only discovered there was a name for it about 7 years ago.


_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 6:00:28 AM   
DOMME4boys


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		It has been my expereince that most subs start to get feelings around 9-12.  Some act on them, some try to inqnore them, others just don't understand them.  I do believe that most are born to serve and the same for dom/mes.  As such, I ask all potential subs about thier past.  Most true subs ahve ahd some form or experience shortly after that period.  Some seek itout.  Others merely attract the attention of a more experienced Dom/me.  I am not sure if it is as easy for Dom/mes, as taking full control of another is a moremature concept. 

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 6:04:09 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Always been aware that I responded diffrently to those around Me and with hindsight My first D/s 'scene' was when I was 3, of course I hadn't a clue what it was nor why that game with a neighbouring girl was such fun.

It wasn't till I was 15 when I was introduced to D/s and BDSM that I suddenly had the lables and context to rationalise what I already was.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 6:06:36 AM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Causing other peoples' pain has been a facination and passion for me since I was a small child; probably around 8 years old.




Another potential serial killer drawn to the ample bosom of BDSM and saved by the magic of consent..

If that aint beautiful I don't know what is.





_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to TheShadows)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 6:20:28 AM   
sadomasokisti


Posts: 221
Joined: 10/20/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline 		I bought my first "toys" when I was 12.

_____________________________


Pain is good. Extreme pain is extremely good

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
Profile   Post #: 20
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