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New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:05:57 AM

hrnybutshy

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

I am a little nervous/scared about my first meeting with my Master. It is to happen later today and I am sick with nerves. I cannot sleep. I am worried about displeasing him. I have no idea what to expect only that he describes himself as a harsh, demanding and somewhat cruel Master. I do not mean any disrespect to him, I am just looking to make the first experience a little easier or at least not so scary. He is also my very first Master. Any advice would be greatly apprecited.

hrnybutshy

Post #: 1

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:14:17 AM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Don't forget to plan a safe call, just in case. And then remember he will be a bit nervous too. It just means you are normal. I recommend lots of slow deep breaths and be yourself. If he is not pleased with you, then it was not meant to be and you can go on to find someone more suited to your needs. Let this be a chance to discover things about yourself as well as him.

Good Luck and big hugs

(in reply to hrnybutshy)

Post #: 2

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:17:01 AM

SIRDAN66208

Posts: 3
Joined: 12/8/2005
Status: offline

Just looked at your profile. How well do you know this person? It appears as though you've just been on CM for 3 days, and you're already 'owned'??????? If that's true.........you have a right to be nervous. I hope this is not the case. But if it is, do us all a favor and postpone the meeting 'til you spend more time learning about the man. I'm trying to be helpful. If I've misunderstood the situation, I apologize.

SIR DAN

(in reply to hrnybutshy)

Post #: 3

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:21:56 AM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Don't worry about displeasing him. This meeting should be casual with no expectations at all. Just sit and enjoy a conversation and leave it at that to see if you both are compatible.
You may be compatible online, once y'all meet, it could be a whole different ballgame.

Now, i do understand that this is my own personal opinion.......others will chime in with theirs i am sure.

be safe...
~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to hrnybutshy)

Post #: 4

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:22:58 AM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

I'm the last one to play safety Nazi (TM SimplyMichael), but do you know who he is? Are you meeting in a public place? Does someone else know who you are going to be with? Do you have a safe call in place?

All safety stuff aside, I hope you have incredibly wonderful time! The best advice I got on my first meeting was just this:
Close your eyes and hold on tight!

(in reply to hrnybutshy)

Post #: 5

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:32:08 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

First meets are always a little nerve wracking. After all, its like going out ona blind date, your not really sure how well things may or may not go but you have an idea in your head of how you would like them to.
Make sure you are safe, but if your plans are for today then any planning oinformation we suggest might be too late to implement anyway.
Just one thing I tell many of my sub friends when they go out. Dont let your desire to serve cloud your better judgement. Dont overlook a bad feeling, or something you would consider to be grossly innapropriate just becasue you dont want to risk losing him. First impressions are important and if you have a bad one, it is usually not a good idea to bite the bullet as they say just so you arent alone. Keep your eyes open.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 6

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:40:25 AM

mymasterssub69

Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i saw your profile as well and hopefully i'm getting this right - you are "owned" by this master yet you're meeting him for the 1st time?!?! from your original posting to me it seems you are still unsure about him. you don't sound ready and prepared to submit to someone like him. personally i would spend more getting to know a new master before saying i'm "owned" by him. a couple of notes and IMs between him would not make me "owned" by him.

_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to hrnybutshy)

Post #: 7

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:42:00 AM

sensualmagirl

Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline

I'm going to second a lot of the voices here... I am a little concerned that you haven't met him yet, and already are so worried about dissapointing him and you consider yourself kind of "owned" by him. I personally feel as if trust is and should be a big thing that is earned over time -- this, as the rest of my post, is just my humble opinion.

Well, before I met my Master (which, by the way, took several meetings before I called him that, called him by his name, and then by his pet name -- Papi, and then Sir and/or Master, but, that's us, some people don't feel that title is as significant), I had a very wise Dom Friend/Mentor who gave me lots of sage advice including:

1) Make sure someone knows where you are going to be (say you are meeting someone from the internet if you don't want to divulge too much personal information), and make sure you call or IM/Email your "safe" person when you are safely home/back at work, etc. because if they don't hear from you, they can start looking for you, etc. This goes too for at least your first private meeting with your Master as well.

2) Meet them in a public place and do not leave that public place under any circumstances (this should be a meet and greet to check out everyone is safe and sane only) even if you feel sexually attracted to this person... you must remember, this is your life here, be responsible for it.

3) His favorite piece of advice: Master is a title earned, not demanded.

Look at this as meeting someone new, which is always great in any walk of life. Please, have fun, talk, get it all out on the table, -- don't worry about dissappointing them, worry about if you like each other first before moving onto the next step, just as you would any other first date you may have. However, also, go with your gut, if something doesn't feel "right" take a step back and re-analyze the situation. Trust yourself first, then you can trust another.

< Message edited by sensualmagirl -- 1/31/2007 6:02:11 AM >

_____________________________

"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt

MySpace

(in reply to hrnybutshy)

Post #: 8

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 5:42:11 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

You've not yet met this guy and already decided he's your master??

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mymasterssub69)

Post #: 9

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:08:35 AM

Caitriona

Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

I have tried to understand this online thing, but can't quite grasp it. But to each their own. I would definately suggest you set up a safe call and meet only in a public place, especially if this is your first time to meet your Master. I wouldn't rush into "play" or being alone together on a first meeting, but that's just me.

_____________________________

Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 10

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:11:36 AM

PeggyO

Posts: 129
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Hello,

My personal rule for first meets is that they occur in a public place and that we meet as peers. If someone expects me to submit to them before I have met them face to face, we are not going to be a match because at that point, my free will to make decisions has been adversely affected. I personally need to know that we connect on a personal level before I can explore whether or not we connect on a Ds level.

Some dominants don't like the fact that I want to connect as peers first, but frankly, that just shows me that we're not compatible. I have no obligation to make every dominant out there happy with what I do. My first responsibility is to me.

Remember, you might not have any chemistry with this person face to face. It's ok to say "I am not comfortable and this isn't going to work. I wish you the best of luck in finding what you're looking for."

I realize that this is hard for new people to do sometimes. Submissives in particular tend to be fed this line of BS that they are supposed to be pliable and subservient to anyone who wakes up in the morning and decides to put on a dominant hat. You have no responsibility to anyone else beyond common social courtesy. This is important to remember because it's up to you to make sure that the limits you have negotiated stay in place. Some less ethical dominants will try to manipulate you into doing things that you had said upfront weren't ok for a first meeting - such as sex or play. It is very important that you hold firm to what was prenegotiated and not get caught up in the moment.

Best of luck,

Peggy

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 11

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:21:36 AM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRDAN66208

It appears as though you've just been on CM for 3 days, and you're already 'owned'???????

Fortunately Collarme is not the end all be all of alternative lifestyle meeting grounds.

With that said. Please be careful. As so many have mentioned you should have a safe call. But I always go a step further and plan 3 safe calls. Anyone will be expecting one to happen and could be on their best behavior until that happens. I plan one 30 minutes after established meeting time (someone calls me). I plan one approximately 2 hours after that (I call someone) and then another in another 2 hours (someone calls me). This way I have 3 contacts during a meeting and at least 2 of them were unexpected by the person I am meeting. We also have code words to let them know the comfort level and if said meeting is going well. This might seem a bit over-prepared, but better safe than sorry.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to SIRDAN66208)

Post #: 12

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:23:14 AM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

I am with Katy on this one.. owned by someone you never met?
Do you know:

his favorite color ?
his favorite movie?
his favorite food or resturant?
does he have any political/religous affiliations?
Are his Mom and Dad alive ?
Any siblings?
What makes him laugh ?

If you don't know the answers to these types of questions, then I suggest you get to know them and re evaluate your " ownedness " until you actually know the person you are giving yourself to.

In the event that you do not know much about this guy at all, I hope you are not planning on anything more than meeting and getting to know these types of things. A sound spanking can be nice, but I want to know the mind behind the hand that I am bearing my ass to.

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Caitriona)

Post #: 13

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:29:34 AM

BabyGirlOooh

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SIRDAN66208

Just looked at your profile. How well do you know this person? It appears as though you've just been on CM for 3 days, and you're already 'owned'??????? If that's true.........you have a right to be nervous. I hope this is not the case. But if it is, do us all a favor and postpone the meeting 'til you spend more time learning about the man. I'm trying to be helpful. If I've misunderstood the situation, I apologize.

SIR DAN

Very well said SirDan......

I am new here too, and am taking it verrrrrrrry slowly. My profile states who I really am - honest to the core - and I keep getting emails from Daddy/Doms who expect me to call them Daddy or Sir right away .......

I guess that they can't READ, and are just responding to everyone - and that's not my style......

I believe that the D/s relationhip is all about trust, and taking it slowly.......... and the right DaddyDom for me will KNOW how to bring out my inner babygirl slowly - and lovingly..... testing my limits the way that He knows how to. THAT's a REAL Dom......

I am not speaking from experience, because I am new, but I do talk to a lot of people and I do read a lot.

Thanks for your words SirDan - And for protecting the women on here. You're a good MAN....... and you have earned my total respect.......

xo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And my sweet Hrnybutshy ........

PLEASE be careful. I totally agree with SirDan....

Please postpone this meeting until you get to know him better. And PLEASE - if ya decide to meet today, at least meet in a public place........ and have your gf's call you often to make sure that you're ok..............

If you feel ANY red flags goin off - PLEASE go with your gut, and LEAVE........

You can go to the ladie's room and just sneak out of the restaurant - get into your car and BOOK, ( I did that once on a blind date in the "vanilla" world ), or... you can ask the maitre d' or manager to escort you to your car and make sure that you are safely outta there.

Remember - you owe this "master"....(hmmmmm)..... nothing. If you feel uncomfortable - Please protect YOU...............

I'm here if ya need me honey - anytime.....

It'll be like the blind leadin the blind lmao. I'm sure that the men would LOVE to see the 2 of us blindfolded heh heh heh......

xo

~~babygirl

(in reply to SIRDAN66208)

Post #: 14

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:34:42 AM

HarleyKitty69

Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline

I am so confused...............
You can be owned by someone you never met ?
I always regarded getting a Master or getting collared for this matter like gettin married,now you would not marry anybody you have never met now would you ????
I have a Master... me
~greed~

(in reply to BabyGirlOooh)

Post #: 15

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:49:06 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Wow. I had heard that the new MastersRUs had opened.
You must be their first customer. Wonder what the return policy is.

(in reply to hrnybutshy)

Post #: 16

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:52:10 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

Hi greed,
It's sounding like sub frenzy/fever to me. Seems to happen over and over with a lot, if not most, newbies. Thankfully my own was very short lol and after reading and learning a little I got my sense back.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to HarleyKitty69)

Post #: 17

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:52:52 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Wonder what the return policy is.

7 days, or whenever the next post from the OP occurs.

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 18

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:54:51 AM

hrnybutshy

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

Thank you all for the responses. I would like you all to know that it was his idea for all of this to happen. He wants me to referr to him that way and told me to put it in my profile. I have decided not to go. Not one of the safety steps suggested were in place. I was to go to his home and be prepared to be beaten and to please him sexually. I have also since blocked this person from being able to contact me as the more I thought about it, the more red flags I noticed. I am not trying to be disrespectful but this guy is very scary in the things he wanted to do not only to me but to young children as well.

Thank you all for the insight. I am going to definately slow this all down and be way more careful.

hrnybutshy

(in reply to HarleyKitty69)

Post #: 19

RE: New and a little Scared - 1/31/2007 6:57:24 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrnybutshy

Thank you all for the responses. I would like you all to know that it was his idea for all of this to happen. He wants me to referr to him that way and told me to put it in my profile. I have decided not to go. Not one of the safety steps suggested were in place. I was to go to his home and be prepared to be beaten and to please him sexually. I have also since blocked this person from being able to contact me as the more I thought about it, the more red flags I noticed. I am not trying to be disrespectful but this guy is very scary in the things he wanted to do not only to me but to young children as well.

Thank you all for the insight. I am going to definately slow this all down and be way more careful.

hrnybutshy

Congratulations. The secret in this world is not what you know, but what you can learn. I can see you've learned a lot.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to hrnybutshy)

Post #: 20

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