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Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 6:40:24 PM

elcorazonsuhogar

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

I would like to pose a situation that occurred to a friend of mine this past week and ask for responses on how you would have handled it.

You have a profile and a picture on this site. You are out shopping in a city mall with your older teenage daughter who is standing right beside you. You are approached in a store by man who asks if you have the screen name such and such. You have used this name for many years in all manner of places on the net. Vanilla and lifestyle. You acknowledge yes. He immediately says he is such and such from Bondage and asks if you are still with the same Master. I am curious how you would have reacted and what advice you would give this "man" should he read this thread?

< Message edited by elcorazonsuhogar -- 2/1/2007 6:42:06 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 6:43:36 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

Reason number 41 why I don't go to the mall.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to elcorazonsuhogar)

Post #: 2

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 6:46:40 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Reason number 41 why I don't go to the mall.

Reason number 41 why I don't post a picture! Seriously...people think that this whole "I value my privacy" thing is a joke but I work in an industry where I know for a fact a lot of kinky people exist and I'd prefer to divulge my lifestyle choices to those I trust rather than some random person on a job recognizing me from this site.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 3

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 6:49:34 PM

bludemonn

Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline

I usually flatly deny the existance of the screen name, always be prepared! Failing that I deny my screen name is the same as the one 'they' are on about, the coincidence effect, Filing THAT.... I deny my own existance, I point out we are in a parallel dimension and that he/she is simply crossing over onto my past energies...Failing THAT!!! I deny THEIR existance, I argue that this apparition is left over residual energy stored in my temporal lobe and only awakened by the stimulation of dehydration! Hope this has been helpful!

_____________________________

A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 4

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 6:52:48 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Personally I would not have used the same screen name for multiple logins over the internet... my screen name here is unique to CM. If someone asked me if I was on CM in front of my teenager I would have lied. I do not owe strangers truth.

If that guy is reading this, very bad form, you should have known better.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to elcorazonsuhogar)

Post #: 5

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 6:54:55 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

For a lot of this, this is part of our sex lives. Thus, it's both uncouth and improper to ask someone about it in front of their unmentionables (i.e. the teenager).

Personally, it's reason #114 to not have kids for me. LOL

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to elcorazonsuhogar)

Post #: 6

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 6:56:03 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: elcorazonsuhogar

I would like to pose a situation that occurred to a friend of mine this past week and ask for responses on how you would have handled it.

You have a profile and a picture on this site. You are out shopping in a city mall with your older teenage daughter who is standing right beside you. You are approached in a store by man who asks if you have the screen name such and such. You have used this name for many years in all manner of places on the net. Vanilla and lifestyle. You acknowledge yes. He immediately says he is such and such from Bondage and asks if you are still with the same Master. I am curious how you would have reacted and what advice you would give this "man" should he read this thread?

He is not here. You are. I have difficulty believing that the name you used for this post is commonly used, recognizable and even pronouncible. I would have responded, "I am with my daughter," and walked away. Simple enough, no? If she had questions later, I would have answered them.

MaryT

(in reply to elcorazonsuhogar)

Post #: 7

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 6:56:31 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I a DiurnalVampire everywhere. I am also not hiding my involvement in the lifestyle... so if someone found me here and wanted to out me, my first comment would be and your screenname there is?
Ive had people do that to me when I was out shoping with my mother. "Oh, arent you Diurnalvampire from alt?"

Mom to this day things alt is a writers site.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 8

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:01:56 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I a DiurnalVampire everywhere. I am also not hiding my involvement in the lifestyle... so if someone found me here and wanted to out me, my first comment would be and your screenname there is?
Ive had people do that to me when I was out shoping with my mother. "Oh, arent you Diurnalvampire from alt?"

Mom to this day things alt is a writers site.

DV

LOL very good DV...writers site huh?..now I know that if ever approached and am with my parents..I think I will tell them it is from a food site...Tempting get it?...

....................Tempting

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 9

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:06:20 PM

elcorazonsuhogar

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

Quoting MaryT

He is not here. You are. I have difficulty believing that the name you used for this post is commonly used, recognizable and even pronouncible. I would have responded, "I am with my daughter," and walked away. Simple enough, no? If she had questions later, I would have answered them.

MaryT"

Mary if you read my original post, you will see I said this happened to a friend of mine. Not me.

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 10

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:06:28 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

With the way sites are named lately, it could be plausible that any site can be about anything. You could always say your name is part of a longer one (which isnt a lie) and make up a nice innocent longer name for it.
TemptingFate...

Then again, my mom also thinks that Angel and I are best friends and nothing more, bcasue he s too young to be anythng else... so reality in her case is subjective

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 11

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:08:29 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

No way to know, but chances are, her teenage daughter probably already knew about her mom. I know mine knew about me LONG before I was aware they did.

Nonetheless, I'd probably answer that my name isn't that uncommon, so he's probably thinking of someone else, but maybe I should change it since someone was thinking that was me - and mentioning it in front of my daughter.

If she said something about it later, I'd have just explained that coming up to someone in the mall that you don't know - no matter what the question, if it was personal, then the one asking the question was very rude and we weren't going to stick around to deal with his rudeness.

If she said she already knew about me, I'd say "even more reason for him to not be rude cause no matter what kind of relationship I was in, the most important one to me would be to not lose her respect.

and left it at that.

What can I say? We actually have conversations like that in our house.

juliet

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 12

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:10:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I look at him like he's an alien with 4 heads and say "I'm sorry but I think you have the wrong person."

Then turn around and ignore him completely.

If I see someone I recognize from a party or from meeting them, I'll give a small smile and wave. If they respond in kind, I MIGHT go up to them and say hello and have general chat.

For someone to bring that topic up ANY place is just rude.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 13

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:11:02 PM

PhoenixLM

Posts: 79
Joined: 5/12/2005
From: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: elcorazonsuhogar

I would like to pose a situation that occurred to a friend of mine this past week and ask for responses on how you would have handled it.

You have a profile and a picture on this site. You are out shopping in a city mall with your older teenage daughter who is standing right beside you. You are approached in a store by man who asks if you have the screen name such and such. You have used this name for many years in all manner of places on the net. Vanilla and lifestyle. You acknowledge yes. He immediately says he is such and such from Bondage and asks if you are still with the same Master. I am curious how you would have reacted and what advice you would give this "man" should he read this thread?

Quiet simple if my owner were not there I would look at him and give him her phone number and tell him if he had questions to take it up with her and not approach me again. Or I would scream bloody murder.

P.S. my family knows and my daughter (18) is a top (learning her dominance) & a member of this site

_____________________________

Phoenix
House Ds Haven
http://dshaven.com

(in reply to elcorazonsuhogar)

Post #: 14

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:15:50 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I would tell him that this conversation is inappropriate in a vanilla location and walk away from him.

Further, should he contact me by email I would block.

Someone who does not know my first point above is clearly not someone with enough politeness and awareness to make any type of BDSM partner.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to elcorazonsuhogar)

Post #: 15

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:17:38 PM

BabyNyla

Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

I would tell them that if the pics were so incredible they were hard to forget and he's been dreaming of my beauty ever since ... then hell yeah they were me, hehe. Otherwise I would just tell him he's mistaken and rather inappropriate to be bring up something like that in the presence of a minor and walk away.

_____________________________

My Journal

(in reply to PhoenixLM)

Post #: 16

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:18:55 PM

QuietlySeeking

Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I recognized a co-worker on a site one time and very discreetly made contact with her by handing her a Post-It note with her screen name....and mine. When she came to my cube a few minutes later to discuss our "mutual project", we discreetly retired to a conference room where we had a nice discussion.

We date for awhile and remained friends to this day....

The most important word in this entire post is discreetly. This random person did not handle it discreetly. Ask him to write down his screen name and that you will contact him later.....and then roast him. He should know better than to ask that type of question in front of an unmentionable...and more importantly needs to know what he did wrong, so that he can refrain from making the same mistake in the future.

(in reply to elcorazonsuhogar)

Post #: 17

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:20:25 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I think I would have had to ask him which one of the faceless masses he was. I am really, by then if they child was a bit older the questions that would follow after would be worse then his. Might as well get him to out himself at the same time.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 18

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:24:20 PM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

Well, depending on the location of the mall, there is the ever popular and conversation ending:

"Yes, Jesus is and always has been my Master. Have you given your life to Him yet, too? The Lord led the Israelites out of bondage, perhaps He can still help you too."

< Message edited by WalterRego -- 2/1/2007 7:26:32 PM >

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to elcorazonsuhogar)

Post #: 19

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/1/2007 7:26:13 PM

sexypet

Posts: 225
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

i've been called "sexypet" several times in public -including the grocery store. i just smile and say "Since You know where to contact me, let's continue the conversation there." And i walk away.

Thankfully, i do not have children. i suspect if i did, my pics would not be posted.

(in reply to PhoenixLM)

Post #: 20

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