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RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 1:53:26 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
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Some cannot afford a public display of the lifestyle. It is like Miss America not shooting porn before she joined the pagent.

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Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to GeekyGirl)

Post #: 61

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 1:57:39 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
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I've heard the arguments about it affecting your job, but I guess I don't properly emphathize. I never had that issue. Most people at my job are curious and ask me questions about it! I've been there 3 and a half years and it's never caused a problem.

As for being outed to family, I also can't understand hiding such an important part of who you are from your family. Granted kids don't need to know everything, but as with all sex discussions, they should know in a round-about age appropriate way.

I think knowing about the parents sex life to a degree is healthy...makes the kid grow up knowing that sex is healthy in all it's varied forms.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 62

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 2:00:14 PM

BabyNyla

Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

I had a parent of a student recognize me from my profile and he sent me an e-mail ... that was a little shocking,

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(in reply to GeekyGirl)

Post #: 63

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 2:50:55 PM

Vjklander

Posts: 41
Joined: 3/28/2004
Status: offline

Hiding it means one is embarrassed, and being embarrassed means one isn't comfortable with oneself and has issues to deal with.

I'm with GeekyGirl. I really don't care what other people might think, the kids have always known about what we do, etc. etc. etc.

Vjk

p.s. GG, I'm a flaming Libertarian too ;) Are you in Ron Paul's district?

(in reply to GeekyGirl)

Post #: 64

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 2:54:25 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
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I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know who's district I'm in!

I know what I believe in as far as politic beliefs, but I don't keep up with the particulars of who's in office unless there's an important issue going on that I want to address.

(in reply to Vjklander)

Post #: 65

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 2:59:52 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vjklander

Hiding it means one is embarrassed, and being embarrassed means one isn't comfortable with oneself and has issues to deal with.

I'm with GeekyGirl. I really don't care what other people might think, the kids have always known about what we do, etc. etc. etc.

Vjk

p.s. GG, I'm a flaming Libertarian too ;) Are you in Ron Paul's district?

So if you suffered from persistent flatulence would you were a T-shirt or Hat that says: "Hi! I fart all the time!" ????

I really don’t think that because people don’t advertise publicly that they are into it means they are embarrassed by it. Some people like to have a privet life, and some people are in positions that it is not practical to be “out” about it.

Remember Bush’s stance on bringing all of America to its knees before god in their living rooms. He still got elected, and fortunately his daughters run amok enough that policy lost its footing.

He relished the Christian moral stance and when his daughters ran amok it was a big dose of humble pie he would rather not eaten.

Point being: this is not an accepting society. Some people must pursue their happiness in any way they can get it. If that is keeping their BDSM interest privet or public varies from individual to individual. Why are we judging them, or belittling them for keeping a privet life?

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to Vjklander)

Post #: 66

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:11:30 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
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I'm not belittling them, but I don't understand their mindset.

You brought up the flatulence thing...Some people claim their farts and some don't and it's a pretty apt comparison actually. If I fart on an elevator, I'm going to laugh and make a job about it ("Gotta love mexican food!" or "Betcha can't beat THAT one!" Other people will slink to the back of the elevator and hope no one notices.

Personally, I'm not embarrassed by much of anything and don't care who knows.I'm an open book...any person who's talked to me for five minutes knows everything from the details of my last sexual encounter to the particulars of my health problems, what my religion is and what my political beliefs are. I hide almost nothing.

As I do not have children, I can't relate to the specific situation being discussed. However, I imagine it's similiar to having your parents find out that you are kinky.

The first time I was in a M/s relationship, my mother noticed that I was always wearing a collar. She said, "You shouldn't wear that thing all the time...people will think you're into BDSM." I just looked at her. "Um, gee, mom, I AM into BDSM. Thought you knew.."

No big deal.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 67

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:13:20 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vjklander

Hiding it means one is embarrassed, and being embarrassed means one isn't comfortable with oneself and has issues to deal with.

I'm with GeekyGirl. I really don't care what other people might think, the kids have always known about what we do, etc. etc. etc.

Vjk

Or maybe you are a private individual who does not view this as their life but just one aspect of their personality. It by no means defines me as a man...I'm sure there are others who feel the same....Sexual preferences or actions are not "protected" meaning that they can be used and are used to discriminate against others.

Or there is the other possibility that those who proclaim that they don't care what others "think" have nothing to lose.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/3/2007 3:15:45 PM >

(in reply to Vjklander)

Post #: 68

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:16:20 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Reason number 41 why I don't post a picture! Seriously...people think that this whole "I value my privacy" thing is a joke but I work in an industry where I know for a fact a lot of kinky people exist and I'd prefer to divulge my lifestyle choices to those I trust rather than some random person on a job recognizing me from this site.

...I'm with 'Smartass.

With a teenage daughter, perhaps one ought not post photos. After all, are you watching the whole time she surfs? Maybe you're cool with having her view your profile????

If you have any reason not to post your picture on here, don't!
When did common sense stop becoming that common?

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 69

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:16:41 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

Domiguy, what do you mean by "nothing to lose?"

We all have something to lose. However, I will admit that as a single person who has few financial responsibilities (no rent or utilities etc) perhaps I can afford to take chances a mother of 3 or some such can't afford to take. I know if I lose my job, I'll go get another one (and I'll be financially taken care of in the meantime).

In this particular story, we're not talking about being outed in a professional environment, but rather in front of one person ie the poster's daughter.

Her daughter should have told by now (in an age appropriate manner), IMO (and probably already knows anyway.) Being embarrassed about it in front of family is silly to me. They're your family..they should understand who you are.

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 2/3/2007 3:19:48 PM >

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 70

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:20:05 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl
Her daughter should have told by now (in an age appropriate manner), IMO (and probably already knows anyway.) Being embarrassed about it in front of family is silly to me. They're you're family..they should understand who you are.

Are you serious???!!!!
Kids don't need to know any details of their parents private lives.

(in reply to GeekyGirl)

Post #: 71

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:21:55 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
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Kids need to know that all forms of sexuality are "ok" and that their parents are sexual beings. It keeps them from growing up thinking sex is "dirty" or "unnatural" or "something we don't talk about." Kids who's parents are comfortable about their sexual identity grow up to be more open minded about sexuality themselves and to have less "hang ups".

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 2/3/2007 3:22:41 PM >

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 72

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:23:42 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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Being caring and loving with your mate in front of your kids is one thing.
Telling them that daddy likes to fist mommy is another.

(in reply to GeekyGirl)

Post #: 73

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:28:27 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl
Her daughter should have told by now (in an age appropriate manner), IMO (and probably already knows anyway.) Being embarrassed about it in front of family is silly to me. They're you're family..they should understand who you are.

Are you serious???!!!!
Kids don't need to know any details of their parents private lives.

You are such a prude! My daughters eyes light up whenever I tell her that "special" bed time story ...Of how I have urinated on, as well as violently sodomized, her bitch of a mother....Then it's just a kiss on the forehead...And off she goes happily to the land of nod....Sweet dreams princess!

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/3/2007 3:32:01 PM >

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 74

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:29:31 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

No one is saying give them a blow by blow of the encounter. Just be honest and open.

And remember, we're talking about teenagers not toddlers.

I can remember asking my mom what a blowjob was and being told how it worked and that it was something women do to a man to make him happy. I asked if she did it to my dad and she answered yes. No details, just open honesty.

I also found her sex toys and asked about them. She explained what they were and that she and my dad used such items to keep their sex life interesting "So remember when you're in a relationship one day that such things are ok and will help keep your man interested in you."

I find it interesting that my friends who's parents were close-minded about sex now say things like "I'd never give a blow job" "I'd never swallow cum" "I'd never have anal sex" etc.

I , on the other hand, always knew these were normal parts of a loving relationship and hence never had any hang ups about them.

ETA: Antiquated and prudish attitudes about sexuality are the reason, IMO, why some people don't find their way to BDSM until they are in their 30's and 40's. Those poor women were still saying "eww that's nasty" when they were in their 20's. I, on the hand, was happily being ass fucked and guzzling cum at the age of 18.

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 2/3/2007 3:34:39 PM >

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 75

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:31:42 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
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I'm sure she's well adjusted and normal. Just like her dad.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 76

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:33:08 PM

Aileen68

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GG...I assume you don't have kids?

(in reply to GeekyGirl)

Post #: 77

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:34:19 PM

FatDomDaddy

Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I would tell him that this conversation is inappropriate in a vanilla location and walk away from him.

A vanilla location????

Just what is a vanilla location anyway?

How about inappropriate at any location, especially when the person is not allone.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 78

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:35:42 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

GG...I assume you don't have kids?

I do not, and am not capable of.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 79

RE: Publically Outed Recognized from online profile - 2/3/2007 3:40:22 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

No one is saying give them a blow by blow of the encounter. Just be honest and open.

I can remember asking my mom what a blowjob was and being told how it worked and that it was something women do to a man to make him happy. I asked if she did it to my dad and she answered yes. No details, just open honesty.

How old were you?

quote:

I also found her sex toys and asked about them. She explained what they were and that she and my dad used such items to keep their sex life interesting "So remember when you're in a relationship one day that such things are ok and will help keep your man interested in you."

Again... how old were you?

quote:

I find it interesting that my friends who's parents were close-minded about sex now say things like "I'd never give a blow job" "I'd never swallow cum" "I'd never have anal sex" etc.

I am glad to know that some people will be allowed to make some "discoveries" on there own.

quote:

I , on the other hand, always knew these were normal parts of a loving relationship and hence never had any hang ups about them.

Do you think your perception would have been different if you were allowed to discover and explore your "own" ideas of sex?

Personally I feel raising children to be comfortable with nudity, their bodies, and affection (nonsexual) will allow them to enter into a comfortable sexual period of discovery.

After looking over your post it seems to me you were “groomed” for a far more different purpose than just being a healthy open-minded teen. I do not mean offense, it is just beyond my scope of reason.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to GeekyGirl)

Post #: 80

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