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RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 3:09:51 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

When I am here I post quite a bit... but life oft takes your time and focus elsewhere. I didn't post at all for 3 months because My attention was on other activitys and other sites..... Nothing wrong with the folks who don't have any posts here... they are simply focused elsewhere doing other things.

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(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 21

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 3:14:20 PM

strangelove222

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

I would say that the time factor is a major reason.
And some people read the forums but almost never post,
many people are hesitant to post in a public forum
because of social anxiety or fearing they will
sound foolish. Then there are the people who make
a profile and forget that it is up and active.

Indeed. I am one of the social anxiety sufferers who has been hesitant to post, but I'm doing it now for the first time. :)

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 22

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 3:24:19 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

POST POST POST POST.

POST,

POSTY

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Post #: 23

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 3:30:49 PM

lofa

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: US 6&34&83 (McCook,NE)
Status: offline

10-4 on that LA

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 24

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 3:49:47 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

The sign said "don't feed the Loki" fear is okay!

Holy crap, if you put that sign up in my house then you better be afraid. There is a 16 lb. all lean muscle siamese cat named Loki that would be highly upset!!! Feed him and he will be your best friend, up until he gets hungry again. lol

Knight's kyra

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(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 25

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 3:52:47 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

The sign said "don't feed the Loki" fear is okay!

Holy crap, if you put that sign up in my house then you better be afraid. There is a 16 lb. all lean muscle siamese cat named Loki that would be highly upset!!! Feed him and he will be your best friend, up until he gets hungry again. lol

Knight's kyra

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Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 26

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 3:58:26 PM

OffTheBeatenTrak

Posts: 116
Joined: 1/17/2007
Status: offline

I don't tend to post in the BDSM related forums, as i'm only a curious with an interest. If i did post i wouldn't be 100 percent sure what i was talking about and i'm not going to protent that i would. So i tend just to read the threads with the hope of learning more about bdsm and it's community, so i'm not in above my head when choice to proceed. Although i've recently learned that doing this makes me what you call a lurker (which doesn't sound a good thing to be labeled). So i find i've got the choice of posting when i don't know what i'm talking about and being shot down i flames for it or not posting and being labeled as a lurker. Question, is the term lurker ment to be a negative term ?

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 27

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 4:09:20 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

I didn't post for a few years... over two. The main reason was I didn't have a lot of interest in posting- I was involved in enough forums that my online time was already stretched pretty thin. But then I decided what the Hell, give it a chance. And I'm glad I did, since it's alleviated the boredom a few sleepless nights.

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Post #: 28

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 4:44:19 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OffTheBeatenTrak
Question, is the term lurker ment to be a negative term ?

No and never has been to my knowledge. Many FAQs, certainly those I've seen for usenet groups, recommend lurking for a while before diving in, so most everyone starts out as a lurker. Often lurkers are in email communication with regular posters, regarding threads, long before they make an introductory post. Each group, even related BDSM groups, have different norms and climates. soc.sexuality.spanking is very different from soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm, even though many of the same topics pop up on both forums. Both are unmoderated for content, so there can be flaming (the real McCoy, which you would never see here). I will have to say that there is significantly less fantasy presented as reality on those groups. It is almost non existent there, whereas here, it is the norm. This can be a more peaceful place (and probably feels safer to a lot of people), so it's a trade-off, IMO.

< Message edited by MaryT -- 2/2/2007 4:48:05 PM >

(in reply to OffTheBeatenTrak)

Post #: 29

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 5:23:33 PM

OffTheBeatenTrak

Posts: 116
Joined: 1/17/2007
Status: offline

Cheers for feed back, i'm fairly luckly as i live in the same house as one of the regular posters here (Strictly in a pletonic sense). It was her that directed me here as a good source of info.

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 30

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 5:50:37 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Partially it's because collarchat isn't the same site as collarme. Lots of people might not have discovered this side of things.

Partially because that's the nature of online forums. You're doing insanely well to get 10% of the population actively posting. Most people lurk.

Partially because this forum ISN'T for everyone. Forums have personalities and not all of them mesh with everyone who comes around.

And partly because of mean icky posters like me who make newbies feel unwelcome and attacked.

Yeah!!! Meanie

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 31

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 5:55:10 PM

BabyNyla

Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

hmmm .... it took me awhile to post because I am shy ... and mainly b/c i hate it when people don't agree with me ... my stubborn side shines through.

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Post #: 32

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 5:57:42 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyNyla

hmmm .... it took me awhile to post because I am shy ... and mainly b/c i hate it when people don't agree with me ... my stubborn side shines through.

I'm sorry I just have to disagree with you here.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to BabyNyla)

Post #: 33

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 5:59:29 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Hmm, didnt take me long to post the first time...maybe a day or two....just call me chatty cuddles...lol

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Sing like no one is listening.
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(in reply to BabyNyla)

Post #: 34

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 6:07:58 PM

whisperedsighs

Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

Some people just don't have the time for posting to the message boards, and are strictly here to meet prospective play/life/etc partners.

I know several people who are members of collarme, who do not post to the forums or read them. Several of those friends mentioned that they just aren't into the drama and flaming that goes on. *shrugs* I guess it is to each their own.

I read the forums when I have time. Post occassionally. Sometimes I go through here and there is nothing interesting to me at all.

I think it is like you said. Some people like the forums and some don't.

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oh my god that was so wrong! .... again please!

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 35

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 6:12:02 PM

Caitriona

Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

I figure it's one of those things where they either don't know that the forums exist, or perhaps just aren't looking for anything other than the "dating" side of CM.

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Post #: 36

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 6:26:49 PM

substantialuuuu

Posts: 76
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

Well, I am new to the lifestyle and new to CM and CollarChat. I guess all those things combine to make me a hesitant poster and usually by the time I have read through a thread my opinion has been voiced by another. I suppose I could just chime in and say "what he/she said", but I like to have a little more to contribute than that.

About 14 years ago I was a very active contributor on a Stephen King bulletin board, met some great people there and still communicate regularly with one of them, finally met him last November, proof that lasting friendships form even without a physical presence.

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It is with our passions as it is with fire and water, they are good servants, but poor masters.-----Aesop

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 37

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 7:08:33 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Post to the forum? Most people don't even vote, and that takes far less 'effort' on their part than to formulate an intelligent post or two... it is the nature of the majority of our culture. Why think unless it is absolutely necessary? Why commit to something, and posting your thoughts and opinions is a commitment of sorts, if you can just sit back and sludge about without having to have the responsibility of an opinion?

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 38

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 7:19:46 PM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
And partly because of mean icky posters like me who make newbies feel unwelcome and attacked.

I would just like to state on the record that LuckyAlbatross was the deciding factor, when I signed up for the site. :)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 39

RE: Those who do not post - 2/2/2007 7:41:40 PM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

Not everybody and in fact most people do not use this message board or any other. Many on the other side are there just to try to find their other. Even if interested and click over to the message board they might not post for many reasons.

i have been on both alt and bondage and never once posted to any forums or got into any chat rooms. When i joined CM, i was not interested in that either. One night, after 2 1/2 years on the other side, i saw this thing scroll by about being monogamous or being poly, so i clicked on it. i then read the posts...and then, or course, had to add my comment...lol.

i never thought any more of it and never came back but sometime later, i again saw something scroll by that piqued my interest. i clicked on it....read the posts...and again, commented. But it must have been a hot topic so i felt compelled to keep up with the responses. And then i started looking around and 'got hooked'.

But, as you mentioned, i was only here for the personals aspect....so anyone clicking to see what i have ever posted would have found nothing. It's obviously now different.

It is a simply to each their own type thing. Personally I have zero interest in IM and I may not understand the appeal but I do understand that many people enjoy it, but I get my fair share of messages of people wanting me to IM with them. It is about preference, time and other factors.

Same here....i have no interest in IM chat....so i never got involved in that here. But i realize some people are really into it. i only hope that others are not judged as somehow less interested (or whatever) in D/s because they don't participate in anything other than the personals. Some just don't have those types of interests and some probably just don't have the time.

What I enjoy or find useful has very little bearing on what others might enjoy or find useful.

Good points toservez.

DG

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 40

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