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RE: Those who do not post - 2/6/2007 7:37:13 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

I;m really curious as to what you all think.

I can't tell you how many times I've read a profile here on CM, found it interesting, and wanted to know more about the person, so clicked the button which says view forum posts and..................nothing.

I really don't understand it. The best thing about CM (as opposed to another site which will remain nameless as well as clueless) is the thoughtful, intelligent, (okay, also wise ass) posts by people who (mostly) know damn well what they are talking about. Even the one or two post wanker wonders are amusing and illuminating in one way or another in what they are telling us.

I can understand not posting photos, but some of the conversations, which take place here, the questions or information which is exchanged must be of interest if kink enough a part of your life to post a profile. No?

I've written to people who never post and often they are bright, intelligent, curious and write welll.

Are the people who post here a different species? Or is it something as simple as some people like age play or scat or cross dressing and others don't?

How about that the people who don't post here...

Don't want to post here.

If you need to know more about them, there's this really interesting technique I discovered a while back. It's called conversation. I know I know, it's outmoded and antiquated, but I've found that if you do it via personal e-mail you get <GASP> personal responses and for some reason, that doesn't seem all that antiquated at all.

It's an interesting technique. Instead of talking to all of us, you get the opportunity to talk to just that one person and discover all sorts of things about them.

The only problem is that it actually takes some work other than reading what they've written to someone else.

Which reminds me of this girl I knew in high school. She used to date all the guys her girlfriends had dated and left behind. Once, I asked her why she did that. She said that she'd gotten to know them so well through her girlfriends that she felt like she could decide about them from their experiences. She was always disappointed though. It seems that they would act one way with her girlfriends and another way with her. *shrug*...She never really seemed all that happy, but who knows...she felt she had a system that worked.

juliet

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 101

RE: Those who do not post - 2/6/2007 1:27:04 PM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

If you need to know more about them, there's this really interesting technique I discovered a while back. It's called conversation. I know I know, it's outmoded and antiquated, but I've found that if you do it via personal e-mail you get <GASP> personal responses and for some reason, that doesn't seem all that antiquated at all.

juliet

Ah, but juliet, you unintentionally make my point. Looking at your profile I'd see only that you were a bisexual caucasian submissive female. If I were a Dom, what in your profile would make me want to contact you? Or give me any clue that you are the interesting, fiesty, sarcastic, conversational and observant about people sub which your post reveals? And reading your post I'd also know immediately that you were the intelligent bratty sub I'd been searching for who merited a particularly well thought out, imaginative, conversation provoking e-mail, as a gambit to opening a conversation with you.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 102

RE: Those who do not post - 2/6/2007 1:39:32 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I posted a lot. I've decided due to some hostility here to post sparingly, if that.

hostility? here? perish the thought!
One of my friends doesn't post, but he is here for other reasons than to banter.

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 103

RE: Those who do not post - 2/6/2007 3:41:20 PM

theGuideGoddess

Posts: 135
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

For many it is most likely time issues on posting...face it, for some (who have lives) time is a precious commodity and can't be wasted in a place where you can't even expect civility from a stranger. I've observed a lot of accosting of new posters, noting that it is their very first post. If someone is new here and has not been advised to lurk, and just jumps in with both feet they are quite likely to find themselves in quicksand rather than water, being tossed weights rather than offered a stick. Granted there are those who have jumped in and posted before engaging their brains. But to say that we can expect people to behave rudely because their face can not be seen, because this is the internet, or because they feel as a sadistic they have the right to behave sadistically to everyone: they just present themselves as ill mannered asses. Personally I disagree with the behavior and find it distasteful. I hear people saying that we should actually expect to be accosted here in the forums, after all this is the internet.

I really didn't expect to be treated any differently here than I would be treated in real life. I also do not expect to behave differently. There are many very intelligent and well spoken individuals on this site. Reading the forums is interesting, entertaining and occasionally educational. However it is time consuming.

All of that said I have not found my self persecuted or accosted with one small (and in the ‘right’ perspective due) instance. However I have often observed ill behavior when it was not necessary or provoked and seen it condoned and even cheered on. These are not the kind of people that I would seek out or invite into my life….and they sit and wonder how it is that they are so lonely…go figure! People should be helped with thier ignorance, not beaten for it. After all.....you just don't know what you don't know.

The Guiding Goddess

(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 104

RE: Those who do not post - 2/6/2007 3:47:35 PM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

I agree with you Guide Goddess, I have begun posting mainly under the "Ask A Mistress" thread below, I have found the
posters there not to be so nasty and caustic. Consider posting there, you seem to have a lot of wisdom to offer.

< Message edited by LadyIce -- 2/6/2007 3:48:10 PM >

(in reply to theGuideGoddess)

Post #: 105

RE: Those who do not post - 2/6/2007 8:15:32 PM

MomentsofHistory

Posts: 64
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

I post when I'm at home with nothing much more to do, sometimes that can mean a few weeks or months before posting and reading in the forums... To each there own

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 106

RE: Those who do not post - 2/6/2007 8:34:56 PM

calicowgirl

Posts: 98
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline

I can't speak for others but I have been lurking about for months, even before I set up a profile, and yet today is my first day to post. Mainly it is because I know little of the lifestyle and feel I can learn a lot more by reading and paying attention than jumping in both feet first... has been a hard and rocky road since patience is not a virtue I was blessed with.

Cali

(in reply to MomentsofHistory)

Post #: 107

RE: Those who do not post - 2/7/2007 2:33:20 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

Ah, but juliet, you unintentionally make my point. Looking at your profile I'd see only that you were a bisexual caucasian submissive female. If I were a Dom, what in your profile would make me want to contact you? Or give me any clue that you are the interesting, fiesty, sarcastic, conversational and observant about people sub which your post reveals? And reading your post I'd also know immediately that you were the intelligent bratty sub I'd been searching for who merited a particularly well thought out, imaginative, conversation provoking e-mail, as a gambit to opening a conversation with you.

rofl...and you prove mine. Because aside from the basics, Hopefully nothing in my profile would inspire you to contact me since I have absolutely nothing in my profile and I have it that way for a purpose. My comments in the forums are simply my thoughts and if you think I'm a bratty anything, I'd say you don't know me well at all. You're presumptions are so far off the mark as to be comical. There are those here who could attest to that. Whether they choose to or not is up to them

However, regarding e-mails, if you sent me an e-mail saying that you appreciated what I had to say, I'd thank you, and for the most part, that'd be it (some people - rarely - I say more to, but that's very rare). On the other hand, if you sent me an e-mail saying that I sound bratty and intelligent, and just right for you because you've been looking for a long time for someone like me, you'd never know much more than this:

"Thank you for contacting me. I appreciate your interest. However, I am very happily collared, have been for the last three years and am not interested in pursuing anything with anyone else. Good luck in your search."

juliet

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 108

RE: Those who do not post - 2/7/2007 3:18:37 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

I;m really curious as to what you all think.

I can't tell you how many times I've read a profile here on CM, found it interesting, and wanted to know more about the person, so clicked the button which says view forum posts and..................nothing.

I really don't understand it. The best thing about CM (as opposed to another site which will remain nameless as well as clueless) is the thoughtful, intelligent, (okay, also wise ass) posts by people who (mostly) know damn well what they are talking about. Even the one or two post wanker wonders are amusing and illuminating in one way or another in what they are telling us.

I can understand not posting photos, but some of the conversations, which take place here, the questions or information which is exchanged must be of interest if kink enough a part of your life to post a profile. No?

I've written to people who never post and often they are bright, intelligent, curious and write welll.

Are the people who post here a different species? Or is it something as simple as some people like age play or scat or cross dressing and others don't?

First, other sites have just as many negative things to say about CM, including commenting on the disproportionate number of wankers responding to profiles. So maybe show a little bit more class.

Second, some people actually have a life (sadly unlike myself) and do not find forums the be all and end all of existance. Not to mention that if you post in forums you have a better chance of blowing your facade and showing people who you really are (usually). As a study by Scientific American has shown that 90% of people pimping themselves on sites such as this are lying about themselves, that they are hiding behind a computer screen and misrepresenting themselves in order to find a sucker, then the more people say the more it is going to poke holes in their facade that otherwise would not come down until someone was sufficiently lured into their trap.

I mean, have you not noticed the alarming number of people in this forum that wear their heart on their sleeves and whine and bitch about every single personal aspect of their lives as though nothing is sacred? That is the kind of thing I am talking about.

Truthfully the biggest problem is that you are trying to find a mate on a website. The chance of success is alarmingly small, but the chance of picking up a real "winner" is much greater than average. Truthfully from my experience with forum life, nothing is ever what it seems either. People seldom are who they appear to be. Even myself. I know I come across as an asshole half the time. My theory is that it scares away all the psychos and schizos that are so prevalent on the internet. I am not an asshole in real life unless you fuck with me. Otherwise I am actually a nice guy.. Which just goes to show, nothing is as it seems. Unless you have issues and you can not find a date in real life, I suggest you find one there and just save the internet for the great discussions that go on in the forums.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 109

RE: Those who do not post - 2/7/2007 11:32:28 AM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

julliet, no offense or erroneous, unfounded pigeonholing meant (I don't go in for that sort of non-consensual extreme play), I was just tossing off a quick example to illustrate my point. Being sub myself, there would be no reason for me to send you any sort of contact e-mail based on your profile or posts.

The whole point is/was that you do post and therfore someone who was interested (assuming you were available) could get a fuller idea of what you were like, what you liked, what you didn't like, your personality and whether there were any compatibilities, before contacting you. And could then send a more appropriate message (or at least what she/he thought was more appropriate).

Whereas people who are looking to meet others or are open to being contacted, who have profiles but don't post, present a limited view of themselves. And one that may not have been updated or changed in some time.

Moreover, since we are all at times guilty of it, or profiles may present a version of ourselves which may be more what we would like to think of ourselves, rather than what we are really like. Which would be revealed more by being able to read posts.

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 110

RE: Those who do not post - 2/7/2007 5:41:40 PM

earthfire

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

Outside of being terribly shy around strangers the primary reason I have for not posting is time. I pop on site to check my messages and over to skim the forums and then I'm off doing other things that require my attention. I generally do this all evening.
When you look at the time stamps on a lot of the threads they are going on during traditional work hours. Usually the threads are cold by the time I view them and I wonder if posting is even appropriate. Being new to this type of forum I am not really sure what is acceptable. I guess I'll just feel my way around and see what happens.

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 111

RE: Those who do not post - 2/7/2007 6:15:22 PM

Zsuzsanna

Posts: 108
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

I;m really curious as to what you all think.

I can't tell you how many times I've read a profile here on CM, found it interesting, and wanted to know more about the person, so clicked the button which says view forum posts and..................nothing.

I really don't understand it. The best thing about CM (as opposed to another site which will remain nameless as well as clueless) is the thoughtful, intelligent, (okay, also wise ass) posts by people who (mostly) know damn well what they are talking about. Even the one or two post wanker wonders are amusing and illuminating in one way or another in what they are telling us.

I can understand not posting photos, but some of the conversations, which take place here, the questions or information which is exchanged must be of interest if kink enough a part of your life to post a profile. No?

I've written to people who never post and often they are bright, intelligent, curious and write welll.

Are the people who post here a different species? Or is it something as simple as some people like age play or scat or cross dressing and others don't?

Usually I don't write because I feel that I have nothing intelligent to add to the conversation. And I really wish that I did.

_____________________________

"Somewhere Ralphie smiles and says enjoy her every cry." Tori Amos

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 112

RE: Those who do not post - 2/7/2007 9:55:37 PM

Nevershyau

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: Sydney
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

I;m really curious as to what you all think.

I can't tell you how many times I've read a profile here on CM, found it interesting, and wanted to know more about the person, so clicked the button which says view forum posts and..................nothing.

I really don't understand it. The best thing about CM (as opposed to another site which will remain nameless as well as clueless) is the thoughtful, intelligent, (okay, also wise ass) posts by people who (mostly) know damn well what they are talking about. Even the one or two post wanker wonders are amusing and illuminating in one way or another in what they are telling us.

I can understand not posting photos, but some of the conversations, which take place here, the questions or information which is exchanged must be of interest if kink enough a part of your life to post a profile. No?

I've written to people who never post and often they are bright, intelligent, curious and write welll.

Are the people who post here a different species? Or is it something as simple as some people like age play or scat or cross dressing and others don't?

some just can't find topics that are of any interest & i'm only posting here so I do have at least one post.

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 113

RE: Those who do not post - 2/8/2007 4:42:19 AM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

Congratulations on your first post. Now you must go forth and continue posting.
Personally, I lurk more than I post. But I do post now and then, it just depends on my mood and
if I feel like typing.

(in reply to Nevershyau)

Post #: 114

RE: Those who do not post - 2/8/2007 5:05:41 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

I sometimes find posting on here intimidating, but i am so glad i do now i have made some great contacts from doing so and have learnt so much too.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 115

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