RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implements that he subjects his submissive to?

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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 12:07:44 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

Using fast reply...

Since the duplicated thread was deleted I'll just repeat myself here.

No, because I'm a proponent of a dominant learning how to use implements from other more experienced dominants. When he bought a TENS unit we had been to a couple of good workshops on electricity play and then he had an acquaintence of ours who is very experienced in using TENS units show him how to use the TENS on me.

For us it doesn't make sense for him to use an implement on himself because he's not a switch, so why do something thats just annoying to him and also its not going to give him any insight into me it will just give him insight on how a toy feels on him. If he wants to know how a toy feels on me, he'll just use it on me (I have no problems being his crash test dummy since most of the toys he buys are to use on me anyways) unless its a complex toy like the TENs in which case he'll usually seek out someone who knows more about it to show him.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 2/6/2007 12:08:02 PM >

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 21

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 12:08:25 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

I do not believe in absolutes. I think there is nothing wrong if a dominant does this and bonus points for someone new who submits themselves to get an understanding but I do not think it is a must thing and/or greatly beneficial to do so.

For experience people, I do not think a difference between this cane or that cane, this flogger or that flogger is going to be learned by being on the receiving end. The mental dynamics are so much different between dominants and submissives and pure safety aspects the receiver is probably not gaining enough knowledge in terms of what would be beneficial like how the slave body and mind can take it and at this type of force that is unique to the person type thing.

To me if you get a new toy the safest way is to just go slow and ask questions on your other. It may not be the most fun way to play with a new toy the first time but does not mean it will be no fun.

As the receiver of these toys, I have never cared about my Master’s experience with them as most rational people always start off slow and are careful. I am willing to let them learn with my body. I do not subscribe to this is the way to go about it and therefore if you do this you are trained and a safe dominant. You are either safe and sane or you are not. Most of these guidelines are for show. Certainly can be beneficial but does not prevent dangerous people or accidents from safe people.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 22

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 12:42:10 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I don't think it is necessary to use it on himself first. if he want to know what his sub thinks or feels when it is being used he could ask her. Master don't use many toys but the ones we do used were used on me ONLY. As others said i test my Master with all that i am.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 23

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 12:56:13 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

I think it's a good idea. It's not particularly hot to think of someone throwing a flogger at my Dominant but I do know he appreciates and somewhat understands the sensations I'm going through.

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"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 24

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 1:03:45 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

This is a hard one.. sometimes I feel that a Dom should not do anything to a slave that he would not allow another to do to him but at the same time slaves have different needs then Masters do and well some things a slave would want may be something a Dom would never ever consider allowing and then at the same time then maybe that Dom shouldnt be with a slave that wants things done that he would never allow done to him I guess it boils down to wants and needs and how compatable people are.. but for the most part if a Master wants to do something to me that I may not want or like though I would be willing to do it for my Master I would not be so happy if it wasnt something he was willing to try (like the damn electric paddle Im terrafied of.. that he has used on himself just for me

)

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 25

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 1:18:24 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Should a dominant be subjected to the same implements that he subjects his submissive to?

Ross

How will a Dom/me ever experience an implement as delivered by their OWN hand? In our case, the education of, not only the implement..but a knowledge of anatomy and how a body reacts to stimulus should be paramount.

How I would experience it would be totally different than someone else.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 26

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 1:21:19 PM

bludemonn

Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline

Very true lotus but then again if you have not tried it how far do you know how to go or indeed how stimulating it feels?

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A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 27

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 1:31:36 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn

Very true lotus but then again if you have not tried it how far do you know how to go or indeed how stimulating it feels?

I agree, but as has been said previously on this thread, "it" may not feel the same.
I understand my sub wanting the things I think feel good, but I don't necessarily understand why he likes other things that I find boring.

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(in reply to bludemonn)

Post #: 28

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 3:49:50 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Nope, he'll cry.

ROFL!

Nope is my answer too, unless he wants to or isn't skilled enough to read his submissive's reactions, or her skin, or skilled enough to predict what effect an implement will have. I played with a dom this weekend who is not well-versed in percussion. He's pretty skilled in physics though and told me in advance that the leather Loopy J was going to hurt like a mo-fo and the pretty, innocent-looking chocobolo paddle (fairly thin but hard and dense like petrified wood finished to glass) was gonna pack a squealer of a sting. He could pretty much tell what effect any implement would have just by swishing it around in the air. Speed, air resistance, etc., ...

The LJ did have a very mean bite and left pretty mean marks too. And a good time was had by all.

< Message edited by MaryT -- 2/6/2007 4:04:43 PM >

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 29

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 4:01:11 PM

SCDommie

Posts: 176
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

I really do not think that a Dom should be subject to the same implements as his/her sub/slave.
The reason is the mental aspect of the relationship. Everyone is human, and everyone makes mistakes.
As a Domme, I find it more difficult to admit to an error because I have to stay focused in the mindset of a Dom female.
It comes down to training. Train, Train, and Train so that the sub and Dom/Domme will be able to communicate more freely, and that will result in less confusion or mistakes.

In my humble opinion, SCD.

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 30

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 4:23:48 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

if it gets him off.

my dominant can be masochistic at times, but his implements of choice aren't always the same ones he wields on me. i don't think it's necessary for him to have been flogged to be skilled at flogging me.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 31

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 4:26:33 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

in my reply i said test my Master that was a typo i meant trust my Master.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 32

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 5:06:37 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

in my reply i said test my Master that was a typo i meant trust my Master.

Matt's littleone

((giggles)) freudian slip there littleone35

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 33

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 5:21:16 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Should a dominant be subjected to the same implements that he subjects his submissive to?

As some have said, only if it is his choice. In my Master's case, it is not his choice. He has in fact said he is amazed at some of the things his slave will do, which he would never do himself. It doesn't matter to me at all if he has experienced what I have. What matters is the way he leads me. He has a pretty good idea of how implements feel by the way I cry out!

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 34

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 7:02:09 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Nope.

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 35

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 7:49:09 PM

princess4Sir

Posts: 51
Joined: 4/15/2004
Status: offline

i certainly don't think a Dom should be "subjected to" anything -
if he chooses to try something, that's his perogative but i don't
think it should be a pre-requisite for introducing a new implement or activity
to a relationship

of course, Doms differ - a former Dom i had would never use
anything on me or do anything to me without first experiencing it
himself (at his own hands of course) - one particular activity that comes
to mind is fire play

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 36

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 8:13:42 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear SirDiscipliner69, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my salad days in the lifestyle, I felt the whips and more. I do take from my experiences from that position in service and use all I've learned as a Dominant, a Trainer and a Mentor.

I must add though, that no matter how many people may hold the whip and may use it on you and or another, it will not equal your personal style, stroke strength and or technique. So, one really will not feel what needs to be felt in another person's hands.

I will self flagellate with a new tool, such as a flogger on my back. I raise my upper thigh, as to make the muscle raise and test paddles and straps there. I do this before I use it on others. The second person is usually a known masochist, who rates them so I can be tuned into the ouch factor.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 37

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 8:29:35 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

Are you talking about stuff like nipple clamps, dildos and butt plugs too?

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 38

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/6/2007 8:39:49 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Does a doctor have to perform surgery on himself to become a capable surgeon? However, perhaps if the doctor has been to hospital or even been sick himself, the experience might improve his bedside manner....?

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 39

RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/7/2007 5:36:52 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn

Very true lotus but then again if you have not tried it how far do you know how to go or indeed how stimulating it feels?

I may have a very high pain tolerance.. what is good for me might be unbearable to a slave.. you see? :) My experience would not be your experience and vice versa.

Case in point: I did have a situation where I wanted to try to experience "flight"- and the Dom stopped after 15 minutes because he said he couldn't break through my top space. All I was doing was paying very close attention.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to bludemonn)

Post #: 40

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