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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/7/2007 6:32:43 PM   
Squeakers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I don't see this is a 'my way' is better thread.    If it doesn't work for you---then it doesn't work.   But if you tell your submissive that you aren't really hurting her with that paddle, she should have the right to question---"And how the fuck would you know?"


Charming.... My owner would so appreciate being told, "and how the fuck would you know?"

For us my owner is fairly connected to me during a scene (and vice versa) and my reactions are pretty obvious... so for us its pretty clear how the fuck he knows whats going on with us.

C~

No room for humor?

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/7/2007 6:36:39 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfhumiliate

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael



NOPE.


So yes, a top doesn't have to feel what the implement does.  The top doesn't have to be a switch.  But the top does need to learn how the implement works.  And one way to do that (some say the best way to do that) is to use the implement on yourself.





Why? . Does a Master need to be a slave to be a better Master. No they don't. They need to learn to be a good dominant, for some they might want to experience the other side.   The feelings and emotions are different and the need for those are different. Master has his own feelings and needs as do I. In my 13 years or so as a slave have never felt the need to have a Master/Mistress that experienced my side. Master knows what he is doing. Thats all that matters. What works for some isn't a solution for all. Nothing is concrete and black and white in this lifestyle.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 2/7/2007 6:39:13 PM >


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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/7/2007 6:38:53 PM   
Invictus754


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mp072004

It's not necessary to have properly bottomed in order to top well. It's often not necessary to ask someone else to hit you to properly feel the toy in question. However, if you haven't hit/electrified/scratched yourself with the implement, how do you know that it would be fun to hit/electrify/scratch someone else with it? Knowing the exact sort of sensation each of your toys provides makes you a more effective top, because you know which toy to use to cause the precise sensation you want.

Monica


I hate to disagree, but I have to.  No two people have the same pain tolerence, and I would hate to have to have a Dom with neural damage hit himself hard with some blunt force toy a few times and say "That doesn't hurt" and then start wailing on a sub.   Ask someone who is color blind what they see in a color picture and you'll find that two different bodies process the same information in MUCH different ways.   You will never know the "exact sort of sensation each of your toys provides" to someone else.

< Message edited by Invictus754 -- 2/7/2007 6:40:09 PM >


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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/7/2007 6:39:55 PM   
asubmissiveheart


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No, but if it is something that could cause damage to the submissive, the Dominant better know what he or she is doing.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/7/2007 8:29:24 PM   
Wildfleurs


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From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers
No room for humor?


Sorry I didn't seriously realize your post was a joke/being humourous.  Scratch what I said!

C~


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~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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(in reply to Squeakers)
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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/8/2007 6:11:53 AM   
mp072004


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Invictus754

quote:

ORIGINAL: mp072004

It's not necessary to have properly bottomed in order to top well. It's often not necessary to ask someone else to hit you to properly feel the toy in question. However, if you haven't hit/electrified/scratched yourself with the implement, how do you know that it would be fun to hit/electrify/scratch someone else with it? Knowing the exact sort of sensation each of your toys provides makes you a more effective top, because you know which toy to use to cause the precise sensation you want.

Monica


I hate to disagree, but I have to. No two people have the same pain tolerence, and I would hate to have to have a Dom with neural damage hit himself hard with some blunt force toy a few times and say "That doesn't hurt" and then start wailing on a sub. Ask someone who is color blind what they see in a color picture and you'll find that two different bodies process the same information in MUCH different ways. You will never know the "exact sort of sensation each of your toys provides" to someone else.



True, pain thresholds and tolerances differ, which is why whacking oneself isn't a substitute for observing the responses of one's bottom. But differences don't render this manner of information-gathering entirely uselss. I learn something about my toys when I whack myself. Then, by observing bottoms' reactions, I can somewhat "translate" the way they experience pain to the way I understand my toys.

Not long ago, I was playing with a gentleman who was very sensitive to "stingy", surface sensations of impact toys. When I tried one implement, a rubber baton that most people, including me, consider "thuddy with a touch of sting," and he deemed that stingy, I knew that I needed to think about the toys that offered absolutely no sensation of surface disturbance. This narrowed the pool of toys that I then tried on him while observing feedback--I eliminated things that I perceived as having a negligible amount of sting, because what I thought was "thuddy with a little sting," translated, in this man's mind, to "intolerably stingy."

Hitting myself gives me a sense of my toys relative to one another. Feedback from the bottom in question makes that scale useful. If I hit someone with one item, and he perceives it as too hard, too soft, too thuddy, etc., I then know that the toys I think are much harder, much thuddier, much lighter, etc., should probably be removed from my pool of prospective implements with this person.

Hitting oneself is useful for shopping, too. If I know that I have a paddle that feels this particular way at home, and I'm out shopping for a paddle that offers a different sensation, I can hit myself and determine whether the sensation is different enough to be worth buying.

Monica

(in reply to Invictus754)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/8/2007 8:10:58 AM   
MasterGremlin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Should a dominant be subjected to the same implements that he subjects his submissive to?


Ross

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bon_D_Age/members?o=6
Designermite
http://www.cafepress.com/designermite


I think that a Dom/me needs to know what the impliments feel like as they use them on Theirs.  I think it helps with technique and with getting the desired affect.  I don't think that They need so be Someone elses submissive first though, if that is what You are asking.
Sincerely,
minxy

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/9/2007 1:49:37 PM   
MistressBliss


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Yikes! I suppose if a dominant wishes to know what it's like that is okay but I strongly feel that it is not necessary. I personally have a very low threshold and the the few times I did (out of curiosity) try a lash or a clothespin I was screaming like a scalded cat.  I think adults can tell by the color and condition of the skin what is to much.

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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/9/2007 3:33:46 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


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quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

No, but if it is something that could cause damage to the submissive, the Dominant better know what he or she is doing.


Agreed. So to what extent is their responsibilty?

Ross

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/9/2007 8:15:29 PM   
SimplyMichael


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I am sorry but this is such an internet chatroom BS thread.  Hand wringing by people who have little if any experience and even less exposure to people who have plenty of experience.

There are people for whom the touch of a feather would have them asking the DM to ban you and people for whom shoving a champagne bottle up their ass is foreplay. 

Damage?  While it happens, the only damage most people EVER experience is having a few hearts ripped out.  For the whiny hand wringers, please note the use of "MOST" rather than all, and that story about the friend who got hurt is one among millions so stow it.

I swear to god some "newbie" bus just let out a whole load of chatroom commandos into CM or something!

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 6:04:40 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Should a dominant be subjected to the same implements that he subjects his submissive to?



mmmmmmm does that mean since I screw my girls with my implement... that i should screw myself with my implement?


mmmmmmmmm I think the answer is NO

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 6:22:29 AM   
unsung


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Knight of Mists, although such a task would be an interesting experiment to watch. lol

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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 6:28:08 AM   
Donnalee


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Joined: 7/15/2006
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quote:

I am sorry but this is such an internet chatroom BS thread.  Hand wringing by people who have little if any experience and even less exposure to people who have plenty of experience.

There are people for whom the touch of a feather would have them asking the DM to ban you and people for whom shoving a champagne bottle up their ass is foreplay. 

Damage?  While it happens, the only damage most people EVER experience is having a few hearts ripped out.  For the whiny hand wringers, please note the use of "MOST" rather than all, and that story about the friend who got hurt is one among millions so stow it.

I swear to god some "newbie" bus just let out a whole load of chatroom commandos into CM or something!


Gee, Michael;  why don't you tell us what you really think? 

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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 7:11:34 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I I swear to god some "newbie" bus just let out a whole load of chatroom commandos into CM or something!


Hardly that...and since when did discussion become detrimental to others?

Everyone started somewhere sometime..even if Mine was over twenty years ago.

Ross

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 7:25:13 AM   
SimplyMichael


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There is a vast difference between intelligent questions asked by inexperienced people and idiotic opinions being expresses by people with little experience outside their own imagination.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 7:44:23 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There is a vast difference between intelligent questions asked by inexperienced people and idiotic opinions being expresses by people with little experience outside their own imagination.


That may be true but respect should be given to all so those that are lurking with intelligent thoughts might be given a chance to input without fear or retaliation don't you think?

Some are very sensitive in this nature.

Respectfully

Ross

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 8:24:27 AM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Everyone started somewhere sometime..even if Mine was over twenty years ago.

Ross


I'm just curious as to why you are asking this question then.

One would think with 20 years of experience, one might provide endless amounts of insight into this topic, rather than asking for the insights of others on such a generally novice question.

With 20 years experience, I would think you would be so proficient with all your own toys and all the techiques that there would be no reason to even contemplate this question.

I have a little more than a half of years worth of experience, but have had actually had experiences with my toys so I am able to provide an opinion on this thread. Personally, this is a question I have already asked and answered regarding my own training and learning.

And Michael has a valid point...

When I was completely new, I was scared to death of damaging someone with my own toys. That was actually the number one biggest fear of mine, damaging someone I cared about. Finnally, I got to watch some other people play, had educated myself and been educated very well, and then played with my girl. After that, I felt a lot like a fool because to really damage someone with my array of toys, I would have to be really incompetant. I was a little annoyed because I had let the endless "Internet safety paranoia" scare me a bit into not trusting myslef and thinking someone was going to die the first time I tryed to play. At least this irrational fear helped to motivate me to learn so I cant say its a bad thing

My only concerns now when I play is remembering to take off clamps and clothespins (which is minor now since I am not a complete incompetant) and paying attention when I do rope bondage. Actually inflicting a serious injury with my paddle, crop, or light leather flogger isnt even a worry.

Even with advanced techinques like needle play and knife play, the communities are really on point with telling people who has a great track record of doing these things and who not to go to. I have heard of two injury stories in the communities, one involving a bullwhip and alchocol and the other involving dishonesty regarding medical information. 2 stories compared to the endless parade of this kind of stuff on the Net.

Of course...if you do something like needle play with a guy off Collarme.com claiming to have 20 years of experience and appears to be off his meds from his history of posts, then you deserve to get injured.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 2/10/2007 8:26:03 AM >


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(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 8:44:02 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I'm just curious as to why you are asking this question then.

One would think with 20 years of experience, one might provide endless amounts of insight into this topic, rather than asking for the insights of others on such a generally novice question.



actually.. I think it should be expect that someone of any experience is seeking to gain insights into topics from others.

Of course... I would expect someone in university to be seeking more insight than who to spell "pussy"

and of course.. there is the reality that time into the lifestyle doesn't actually equate to experience or quality of experiences...

mmmmmmm just how many individuals get to High School.. and can't read at a level beyond 6th grade... I hear it's surprizely high.





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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 8:52:12 AM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

and of course.. there is the reality that time into the lifestyle doesn't actually equate to experience or quality of experiences...



Amen. I actually talked about this in my own profile. Its endlessly annoying when people try and equate their 20 years worth of spanking two submissives as to wearing a bigger hat then everyone else.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
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Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implemen... - 2/10/2007 11:47:00 AM   
iwearpanties


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i guess this type thing cane go either way as a submisive male i had a Mistress who with out telling or warning me had a Male Dom  Dom me in front of her or is it made and had me submitt too him . either way a few weeks   later he the Dom Male had no clue she planed too allow me too get him back wich i did i dropped his pants too the floor and spanked his ass as he did mine but i think i was harder on him then he was on only for the fact that i was feeling in side of my self i was getting him back for the humiliation he gave me . but for me the humiliation o got form him was some thing id never thought would ever happen too me

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