quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT
As opposed to 'sub drop' and a damn sight removed from the accusations of "being a *bad* submissive" posts now littering this thread.

Whatever the problem is, I hope you find a solution.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
did i miss something?

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

You subs go around getting dropped alla time, somebody is gonna put a fuckin eye out here----

Let's play careful out there kids, use mattresses and everything, forget the ice cubes and the Vietmanese spin fuck chairs....know whadda mean, Vern?


SafetyMaster

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Not much to say other than I agree. 

I'm not suggesting we should never need or want aftercare or that subdrop isn't a real issue-

As Mixie has noted- subdrop may open the door, but it's not what's really going on if you're talking serious depression or relationship issues.

quote:

ORIGINAL: StacyCat

I get pretty severe sub drop (or sex drop, depending on the type of play) about 2-3 days after an intense scene.  Has very little to do with aftercare.  I just have to go with it :-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: prettichinadoll

Different people need different things. I admit there're subs who doesn't need aftercare, there're subs whose needs for after care depends on the situation and the intensity of the scene, and there're subs who needs after care every time they play. I've experienced sub drop once, and that's not something I ever want to experience again. When I read your post, I feel that what you're saying is "stop faking sub drop and deal with what your depression yourself!" That's not a bad point, if someone is really "faking" a sub drop. Yet, as a Master or a friend, how could you know this person is faking everything? How would you know she's not seriously need it?

I've been thinking about writing "Illusion of responsibility" for sometime, but couldn't come up with a valid concept, because responsibility is real in this lifestyle, and dom is responsible. Unless previously negotiated clearly, a sub drop from a scene is dom's responsibility. If a certain dom don't want that kind of trouble, he could always make it clear up front that "I don't do after care, and if there's a sub drop because of the scene, you have to deal with it yourself". LOL, I would imagine if this certain dom actually put this up front, not many people will want to play with him. But at least he's honest.

I think, purely from a logic point of view, there're people who actually faking sub drop hoping the dom would be there for them, there're people who would lie to get attention, who doesn't have a life, and want other people to solve all there issue. But I believe most of the subs, when they experiencing sub drop, it is very real, it is very horrible, something no one would want to get through in exchange for some mere attention.

So, if I could make a suggestion, next time when you put up a post like this, don't generalize things, don't make it sounds like you're attacking people (notice I didn't say you're attacking, i just say you make it sounds like you're attacking). The point of communication is make other people listen, when you start attacking, people will start denfending, and when they start defending, they'll stop listen. and you won't be able to communicate to someone who doesn't want to listen to you.

Then again, that's just my opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

i see a lot here, girls wrestling with the ideas of subdrop - while after a scene w/o cuddling yea i guess i can understand but if your drop goes on and on honey, you're just looking to sugar coat your depression with pretty words that make you feel more like a slave and less like a human with emotional needs - like anyone else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: prettichinadoll
Unless previously negotiated clearly, a sub drop from a scene is dom's responsibility.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I will take Owned's life as an example if I may be so bold.  Her master has trained her to deal with subdrop totally on her own.  She now considers it a matter of pride and self-worth that she doesn't need him to be there and snuggle- that she knows she'll pull her own self together and be just fine in the end.