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adaddysgirl -> RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing photos it seems like there is a significantly.. (2/11/2007 1:17:39 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: obey1
Correct. Let me state again as a personal trainer involved for 18+ years professionally, that the old height-weight charts and now even more recently the BMI index is quickly going out of date.
As we get heavier, we also ge more muscular. The height-weight charts and BMI indexes do not account for someone who is at the top of the bell curve in musculature. Muscle is more dense than fat. On my profile, my picture shows me in competition at 186lbs for 6'2". But the Army would have told me at that point to lose weight. I surpassed 185lbs in the summer of my 10th-11th grade year in high school.
We are talking about morbidly obese people who have no scale to measure them except the visual. In looking at them the eyes relate to the brain that there is a serious problem somewhere regardless of numbers. We are arguing about posting pictures and not posting pictures, about physical chemistry and the lack of. I argue about basic mobility. The large majority of my immediate family has had very serious mobility problems from their obesity. I saw this at age 14 and started lifting weights and then became a personal trainer. I am now 37 and still earning money teaching others proper habits. My brother is on disability at 450lbs, my mother is in the hospital at 308lbs, my grandmother weighs 227, my aunts and uncles are way over their limits, and I had an uncle die at nearly 550lbs.
I think we can set the general limit at 240lbs. Unless you are a 6'5" male or a dedicated bodybuilder, somewhere near this limit is going to cause you mobility problems such as the very least arthritis, at the worst, a crippling stroke, heart attack, or diabetes....
i watched a movie the other night named 'Fat Like Me'. In a nutshell, it was about a teenaged girl who had an overweight mom. She went the exact opposite way and was a very attractive athletic type. The gist of the movie was this....she hated that her mom was fat so she judged others that way. And she felt that fat people are not treated differently because they are fat....that it all has to do with personality.
Someone asked her "So you think if you were fat with your personality now that you would still be popular?"....to which she answered yes. So she did an experiment. She masqueraded as a fat girl.....but kept her normal personality.
The result? She was constantly insulted for being fat. Her 'friends' who did not realize it was her called her cow, wide load, mooed when she walked by...etc. Very interesting interaction.
She obviously learned something through that ordeal but my point is this. She hated that her mother was (what she considered) fat....so she strove against being the same. From this post, i see that obesity runs in your family and that has compelled you to follow an opposite path (which i might add that i have a friend whose parents were alcoholics and 2 of her siblings turned out to be while both she and her brother vehemently abhorred any alcohol). i think that is admirable. But your obvious animosity toward obese people is not.
Your photo is absolutely adorable (and i trust it is fairly current). But in 20 years, when balding, loss of teeth and 'love handles' set it, i am most certain you will not look the same. Hopefully you have a partner who will look beyond that because if she is superficial and only concerned with how good you look physically, well, she may be disappointed.
The irony of all of this to me is....i tend to prefer very large built guys. Just a personal preference. While 6', 200 lbs is average and may work for many, it does not for me. i cannot count the rude messages i have gotten from 'fit' guys....insulting me because of my preferences. Due to their responses, i even put in my ad that yes, i do prefer 'old, big' guys. (Sounded kind of funny but i did it just to hopefully put an end to the bs.)
But although my preferences laid with big guys, i felt no compulsion to insult those that were not. As a matter of fact, i think there are many attractive men who are 6', 200 lbs.....but that is not my preference. Still i have no reason to bash them.
You obviously have your reasons for doing what you do....i am not knocking that. But just remember that those who focus on the physical in finding a partner may be very disillusioned when 'old age' sets in. And yes....it does happen, at some point, to all of us.
DG
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