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Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/17/2007 1:26:43 AM

SirDiscipliner69

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Too prideful to say your safeword?

Why?

Ross
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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 6:30:44 PM

tasha_tart

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Too prideful to say your safeword?

Why?

Ross
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Can't really say I'm too prideful (at least I don't see it that way) to use my safeword, though I've only used it a very few times.

The reason for "refusing" to use it, was not pride; rather I think I was challenging myself to go that little bit farther. I had the advantage that most of my play was with a trusted friend who seemed very attuned to my responses. That was no mean feat, since I am virtually silent during play. She was also very attentive, asking frequently where I was at pain-wise, which I suppose kept us from getting into safeword territory as often as we might have.

Tasha

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 6:34:03 PM

sugarcandy

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No.

Haven't used it in the past, when maybe I should have. ( I begged, sincerely enough, he knew...)

It is because I wanted to please, submit and did not know my limits, as I am new.

Never, ever stubborness or pride.

sugarcandy

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:16:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:19:29 PM

missturbation

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Nope not too proud. Just never had a reason to use it.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:28:49 PM

misotara

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Too prideful to say your safeword?

Why?

Ross
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Thinking back, I never had a safeword at all; nor did I ever feel the need for one.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:30:02 PM

needdiscipline23

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I don't think I'm too proud--I considered using it last time--I was in (for me) a lot of pain...but I didn't...I don't THINK it was pride--at least, I hope not, b/c I just don't think that's something I want to cultivate as a sub....

I think I just wanted to be submitted, to whatever she wanted me to feel.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:32:55 PM

BabyNyla

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I have only had to use my safeword once ... and still to this day I am so upset I had to use it. We were doing a very intense scene and my breasts were convered in welts and bruises and I just simply could nat take anymore ... I was in pain for quite awhile after. On a regular basis I never feel the need to safeword because I trust my daddy and I know that he will not viciously hurt me.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:33:17 PM

Lordandmaster

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Do you really mean "prideful," or do you just mean "proud"? There's a subtle difference.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Too prideful to say your safeword?

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:43:49 PM

timorous

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I don't have a safeword.
I have a Master instead.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:45:40 PM

Sternhand4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Nope not too proud. Just never had a reason to use it.

You have to love a challenge..lol

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:45:43 PM

TypeAsub1

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I have never thought of it as pride. I think of it as disappointing him. It's also a competitive thing with me.

I am not a big masochist. I get off on the submission of taking pain, but have no real desire for pain itself. However, I do have a competitive streak and if I am with someone who I know enjoys inflicting pain, I will feel as though I've failed if I safeword out of it.

I'd rather go unconscious from pain than safeword. I am not advocating this or stating that it is a good thing... it's just the way I am.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 7:51:03 PM

SimplySubmissive

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I always felt that using a safeword was of a kind of failure on my part, the inability to take what he wanted to give.
I did know one Dom that thought it was a good idea to try to make me say the safe word in lots of different situations. This caused a lot of emotional turmoil and some really unhappy scenes.. i figured out what he was doing, and asked him about it. he said he was just trying to learn my limits. jeeze.. we were both pretty new to it all, but this was not fun!!

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 8:00:26 PM

needdiscipline23

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Yeah, I too, feel like it's a failure...like I'd be letting her down.

I had to pause the scene momentarily b/c I got dizzy last time, and felt bad about that (no safe word was needed, I just told her I felt dizzy, and she stopped for a minute to make sure I was alright).

So, I'd say it's a failure thing, more than a pride thing.
And I like the comment about pride vs. being proud.

I'd LIKE to get to the point where I simply feel proud that I can take whatever the top wishes to give...right now, I'm still to timid for that, but I appreciate the distinction.

To me, the "pride" word makes me feel like I'm pitting myself against the top, like a challenge. From other responses, that's what some enjoy, but I don't like that dynamic much--just doesn't work for me.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 8:03:39 PM

juliaoceania

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You know, I do not get the emotionality of safewords and whether or not they are used. Up until very recently I used safewords as I felt was necessary, I still have them to use if I feel the need for them. The last time I was with my Daddy I could not say my safeword, he saw this from my responses to him, and he stopped. It was not pride that stopped me from saying it, something broke inside of me that just put me under his complete mercy... it was a "moment" in my submission to him and in his dominance over me. I do not know if I will ever be able to use a safeword, because something changed that night in me in relation to him. But that does not mean I think less of having safewords between a couple, especially as they learn each other.

I do not think that there is anything about using or not using a safeword that should be about esteem. If one's esteem is so wrapped up in the use of safewords, their submission so tied up in it, their dominance so threatened by it, well lets just say if I was suddenly looking for a dom I would avoid doms that made it an emotional issue. It is just a word after all. Just a tool. It is not the only tool, it is not the best tool for everyone, but it is just a tool.

I now know for myself that one can get to the point where their safeword is meaningless in the context of their relationship... but I do not get the concept of refusing to use a word that was set up to keep me from being hurt out of "pride", pride is called foolish for a reason. There are many reasons one may get into a headspace that their safeword is meaningless, pride is just one of the stupid ones in my opinion.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 8:37:13 PM

ownedgirlie

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Awesome post, Julia.

To the OP, I don't have a safe word. I express myself with words, cries or gestures and he decides where to go from there.

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 9:08:49 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Awesome post, Julia.

To the OP, I don't have a safe word. I express myself with words, cries or gestures and he decides where to go from there.

Such a whiny baby controlling slut! Dayum, can't I find a decent slave around here?

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 9:13:30 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Awesome post, Julia.

To the OP, I don't have a safe word. I express myself with words, cries or gestures and he decides where to go from there.

Such a whiny baby controlling slut! Dayum, can't I find a decent slave around here?

Oh my god...Master is that you, disguised as LA????

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 9:13:39 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Too prideful to say your safeword?

Why?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

It's not 'my' safeword. It belongs to Himself. He has given me very specific instruction based on medical needs as to when I should use it. I don't disobey orders or commands for pride or any other reason. If the situation arises, the word will be used just as he has stated it should be. That's good enough for me.

Celeste

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RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? - 2/19/2007 9:23:49 PM

WingedSnake

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I (we) do not do safewords, but i would find it stupid and dangerous to let pride get in the way, if a situation is not right for me or even dangerous. The same goes for my non switching beloved, when we are fighting and i - albeit for a short time - am having the upperhand, he will tell me, if something is hurting him dangerously.

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