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RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/18/2007 5:11:13 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		It's your party, do it your way if they don't like it they simply do not have to attend. I've heard many goreans say that when in their home they expect you to do things their way, so in your home (or if your the host) you do things YOUR way. They can either adapt or stay home. Its pretty simple.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/18/2007 6:02:32 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Evanese,

Most gorians are idiots so don't worry too much about offending them. They honestly believe their own bullshit that only what they do is real, personally, I think you would be better off telling them to fuck off.

However, if you you want to be more diplomatic than I, here is advice learned from throwing lots of events, challenging the bdsm social norms, and getting people to actually get off their asses and do things.

Tell them that this is your dream and if they don't want to come their presence will be missed, however, encourage them to plan a gorian event and offer to attend and follow whatever idiotic ideas they come up with.

Seriously, you will get people who will will tell you with a straight face (after having done nothing and not offering to do anything) how you should spend your time creating an event perfectly catered to them.  The best answer is to challenge them in the politest of brown nosing ways that you would love to see them implement their idea and as what you could do to help them.

They will generally shut the fuck up and not bother you on on some rare and splendid occasions they will actually get off their ass and do something.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/18/2007 6:15:34 PM   
Jahnaca


Posts: 729
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings Evanesce

Being Gorean myself I would actually like to participate in something like that, it sounds darn awesome.

I think the problem isn’t so much they are Gorean per say, rather, who they are.  I can’t think of any reason based on my years in this lifestyle that would forbid or condemn your dinner party.  If the reason they are using is “it’s role play” well then they don’t actually get it.  If it is “what’s in it for the slave,” well the slave doesn’t actually know her place.  Gorean tradition doesn’t mandate anything for the slave other then obedience and service, which I can see your party will offer a lot of.

In any case, your house, your rules, they can choose not to attend.  That would be my stance on the situation.  Quite honestly, it is a stance that is very Gorean too boot.

I hope you have a great time.

Jahna

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(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 11:35:20 AM   
HisProperty4Life


Posts: 142
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

quote:

having experienced a Victorian, Gorean, BDSM, Leather and various other types of formal dinner parties, it all boils down to one thing. SERVICE. it does not matter what type of identification Y/you or Y/yours go by....it's a dinner party. And it is it is always good practice for any type of slave or kajira to practice their service and serving skills.


Well, yes, but this dinner party has a specific theme, and everyone will be required to adhere to the same protocol.  The servants will even be wearing identical clothing.  As mentioned previously, we're hoping to do more events that will allow our members to go outside their own comfort zone and learn different styles of service.  I have also invited this couple to feel free to plan and host a Gorean event as well.  I'm not all that familiar with those customs, but I'm at least willing to learn.


smiles, service is service, with or without a dress code. no worries, have fun at your party.

tell the couple this, please honor our kink/tradition/custom in our home and we will honor yours on a different night or at your home.

_____________________________

Sincerely,

HisProperty4Life

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 11:48:07 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I *love* the idea of serving at a formal dinner party, Victorian or not.

I don't understand that Gorean kajira's concerns. After all, in the Gor novels sometimes all a kajira *did* was serve at the table while the Masters ate. There were some very strict protocols for such events too. Dungeon stuff was in the books, but not the entire focus of their interactions.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 4:52:25 PM   
jadein


Posts: 37
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		I'm glad that some other Goreans posted because I was about to ask ... isn't a kajira's whole life about obediance and service?  I am wondering were these questions at her Master's orders?  Either way it doesn't matter.   I think it's a great idea and I hope you have fun. 

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 5:05:41 PM   
dirtyfemm


Posts: 13
Status: offline 		This is one of those things that make me wonder and gently laugh.

Hard limit: serving dinner.

ironic.

filthy

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 5:12:01 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

Man, I need to be posting here more often...
 
Anyway... I have a small problem.  I am president of a local group, and we have a core membership of five or six couples who attend every event.  One of these couples is Gorean, and we are the first real-life group the slave in this couple has ever been involved with.  The dilemma is this:
 
We have been planning an event wherein, because this is what Master and I prefer to practice in our household, we will be following Victorian-style protocol.  This is something with which most members are not familiar, and we're viewing the event as a learning experience.  We've even got a protocol expert coming in before the event to speak on this specific style of behavior.  Everyone is thrilled about the event.  Everyone, that is, except the Gorean couple.
 
I have been deluged with questions and comments that I'm finding extremely offensive.  The event has been referred to as nothing more than "a fancy dinner," because part of it will involve the slaves serving a 7-course meal.  It's been referred to as mere "role-play."  I've even been asked by this slave, "What's in it for the slaves?"  That one I don't understand at all.  And this couple is complaining because we have decided that the dungeon will not be open for this event, because it's not about sex and play, but about service.
 
I've told them they are under no obligation to attend, and I have attempted to explain what I feel the slaves "get" out of the event - a sense of pride in knowing they have served well, a strengthened bond with the other slaves in the group, and an opportunity to learn something new being the biggest benefits. 
 
I simply don't understand where these people are coming from.  I don't get it.  I mean, it's perfectly all right if something is not for you, but why the need to diminish and insult?


These people are socially inept and I do hope you refer them to this post/thread.

This is the equivalent of someone sending out invites to a "Black Tie" event (such as for a local art gathering, or some other social event fund raiser thing) only to have these same folks contact the event organizer complaining about the fact that "my money's just as good as anyone else's....and I'm gonna fucking wear jeans!!!!"

Guess what folks?  It's a fucking black tie event....you wanna put together the many thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours of effort it takes to put an event such as this together?

Cool. Tell people to wear what you want them to.

This one, howver...is black tie.

Deal with it.

(Or don't plan on getting invited again...to the next event).

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 5:26:43 PM   
czarlipet


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/17/2007
Status: offline 		Just a small thought. PBS put on a series of reality shows where people went and lived in different time periods. I believe they had one called "This Edwardian House" and "This 1900 House".... I think they had one set in Victorian era. The shows were extremely educational and I know you can get more information by going to the PBS website.

As to the rest... You can't please everyone. From what you have said, you have made every effort and that should be enough. My experience with those of the Gorean Lifestyle comes down to 4 main types. Those who are online only and have little to no basis in reality. Those who are actually traders in the Black Market. Those who live the life as closely to the books as they can in real life. Those that live their lives to the ideals and energy of what was depicted in the books.

We have a couple Gorean groups in our area. Two groups to be exact. One group tries to live the Gorean lifestyle to the tea and is in my opinion a dangerous set of people. The slaves give up all rights to their bodies and minds and the masters do as they please rarely being safe, sane, or consensual. The other group is lead by a very respected dominant in the community who was trained New Guarde style and tries to live to the ideals of the books. My opinion on the latter group is that it has a good idea but fails in the fact that none of the men in the group seem to know how to respect a woman and definitely don't know how to respect a submissive.

I don't have a clue how to deal with either group. I can't honestly say that I hold any ounce of respect for any of the members of the two groups. But the groups are the people who make up the group. I would love to meet some Gorean lifestylers who are safe and sane and consensual and know how to respect women and submissives. I hear they are out there somewhere. I think I digress and have begun to babble, so I finish here.

From a very opinionated submissive,

Czarli

(in reply to amiciaN)
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RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 5:27:07 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

'Cause you're in CA and I'm in IN. 
 
The others are definitely looking forward to it, and we ARE looking at exploring several different styles and protocols.  The group, as a whole, has a lot of interest in protocol.  We've got several new members who are still trying to figure out what works for them, and the Kaptin and I feel it can only benefit these new members, and the group as a whole, to learn about and embrace differences.  Apparently, this one couple feels it's a waste of time if they don't get to play in the dungeon. 
 
I'd like to maintain the friendship with this couple, but I'm having a very hard time dealing with the negative comments and attitude of superiority I'm seeing.


Hello Evanesce,

It is unfortunate when one encounters people unwilling to open their minds to knew experiences with important people in their lives.

As a few others have suggested, I would simply point out to them that this is your event and they are welcome to attend or not. 

I would suggest not becoming emotionally involved in their lack of manners and common courtesy, as uncommon as those might be. 

And most of all, enjoy your event.

Sinergy

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(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 5:44:10 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Yes you DO need to be posting more!

I would say just as you did - they are welcome to not attend if they don't think it will suit them.  And in fact perhaps they would like to host the next event, to ensure it is more to their liking.

Can't please all




DITTO!!!  I have found the BEST way to shut up people like that is to ask them to share THEIR ways and hold the next event. Make no apologies and get on with your plans.

It's your party.... They can cry if  they want to :)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 2/19/2007 5:58:04 PM >

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RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 5:51:17 PM   
TypeAsub1


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		Allow me to split from the masses here for a moment...

*Oh and hey WnW!   Nice to see you here.

While I do think that in your house you can certainly dictate the kind of party you want to give and what you expect of your guests, I also think that as a host (and even a host who is attempting to share their own personal interests) you do have an obligation to ensure that there is flexibility in those expectations.

I think your party would be interesting, however, there isn't a hope in hell that you'd find me serving anyone other than my Dom.  I tend to regard my d/s relationships as intensely intimate things... not something for show or public perusal.  I do and have attended play parties, but I do not play at those parties - I simply enjoy a few drinks and experience the interest and fun of being around interesting people.

Perhaps these guests look forward to the social aspect of your events much as I do at play parties?  So they are probably feeling as though they are losing an opportunity to socialize because they are not comfortable engaging in the activities.  Would you hold a play party and require everyone to play?  While you are focusing on "service" it is none the less a form of d/s dynamic and by requiring your participants to fully participate in that service you are removing the element of consent.

Is it possible for to you provide a "non-participatory" option for people?  Think about that for a moment?  Perhaps there are some rules that they could abide by that wouldn't diminish the environment you are trying to create, while at the same time allowing them the ability to avoid things which they find unpleasant?  I have to say that while I think it would be interesting to attend - I would be inclined to refuse the invitation, because I don't care for the whole "maid" thing.  I'll negotiate his mortgage.  I'll handle human resource issues for his company.  I'll even cook and clean on occassion if I'm not working 12 hour days (thank god for Molly Maid)... but that's something I do for him in the privacy of our home and within the intimate context of our relationship.  I would not be comfortable in that service role and in that environment. 

Having said that, I wouldn't assume that it is your responsibility to make it comfortable for me - but if you made an effort to provide an alternative, I would be wholly grateful for your efforts and feel much better about making an effort to find a means of fitting into your environment that allowed you to maintain the theme of your dinner but also afforded me the ability to find a comfort zone within that environment.

Perhaps they are just oafs who have no desire to learn and be flexible... but .. before we fully write them off as such, I wonder if you've considered how you might be able to make it a more positive for both them and you?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 8:15:19 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting take on things, TypeA.
 
I've heard many submissives say they'd never "serve" someone else.  So you'd never get a glass of water for a dominant that was not your own, even if that dominant was a close friend?  You'd never polish someone else's shoes just because you can and theirs need it?  For myself, I may not willingly get involved with another dominant sexually, but I'll certainly get him or her a cup of coffee.
 
In order to have a more complete view of what we're doing, you'd have to rent and watch several episodes of the old British drama, "Upstairs, Downstairs," because it's that type of service, and that type of household structure, that we work towards in the Kaptin's house. 
 
As for the event itself, no one is required to attend, but those who do know what will be expected of them.  The slaves will cook and serve.  The dominants will relax and enjoy being served. 
 
quote:

While I do think that in your house you can certainly dictate the kind of party you want to give and what you expect of your guests, I also think that as a host (and even a host who is attempting to share their own personal interests) you do have an obligation to ensure that there is flexibility in those expectations.


I have no such obligation; particularly when the event being planned is highly specific and requires the active participation of ALL attendees in order to be successful.

quote:

Would you hold a play party and require everyone to play? 


This is not a play party.
 
quote:

While you are focusing on "service" it is none the less a form of d/s dynamic and by requiring your participants to fully participate in that service you are removing the element of consent. 


How is it removing consent?  Everyone knows, well in advance, the nature of the event and what will be required of participants.  By showing up, they consent to those requirements.  It's really very basic and straightforward.

quote:

Is it possible for to you provide a "non-participatory" option for people? 


No, it is not.  I would not expect someone else to make such concessions for me, and the nature of our event does not allow for "extras."  Not to mention that I'm not cooking a 7-course meal and serving it to someone's slave just because they decided to come as "non-participants." 

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to TypeAsub1)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 9:11:04 PM   
TypeAsub1


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

Interesting take on things, TypeA.
 
I've heard many submissives say they'd never "serve" someone else.  So you'd never get a glass of water for a dominant that was not your own, even if that dominant was a close friend?  You'd never polish someone else's shoes just because you can and theirs need it?  For myself, I may not willingly get involved with another dominant sexually, but I'll certainly get him or her a cup of coffee.

 
I would get a drink for a friend if I happened to be getting up and grabbing one for myself yes.  I wouldn't do it for a stranger and I wouldn't polish anyone's shoes - except my Doms.. no way.  LOL.. i'm not built that way and spending a night where i'm expected to be that way for strangers or casual friends/acquaintances - no way.  Not a chance.  I am equal to everyone except my Dom and I will not "serve" another person, except him (or her).  Nobody has the right to ask anything of me except my Dom, my boss and my clients.

quote:

In order to have a more complete view of what we're doing, you'd have to rent and watch several episodes of the old British drama, "Upstairs, Downstairs," because it's that type of service, and that type of household structure, that we work towards in the Kaptin's house. 
 
As for the event itself, no one is required to attend, but those who do know what will be expected of them.  The slaves will cook and serve.  The dominants will relax and enjoy being served. 
  
 That's nice for you and your group.  I'm sure that those of you who are comfortable with that kind of activity will enjoy it.  I would find it wholly insulting to have any Dom other than mine expecting me to do anything related to service... They're not my Dom, they have no reasonable expectation to expect me to serve them. 

quote:

I have no such obligation; particularly when the event being planned is highly specific and requires the active participation of ALL attendees in order to be successful.
 
LOL... well silly me for thinking that we have an obligation to attempt to make our invited guests comfortable.

quote:

This is not a play party.
But your activities are a D/s function.  If I were to have a party and require all my submissive guests to wear collars and leashes and be on all fours for the duration of the party - that's not play... but it's certainly a d/s activity.  "Play" is not only sexual.  Play can be anything you regard as part and parcel of your d/s dynamic.  I regard the service things you are referring to as play... they would not be something I would do on a public basis... 

 
quote:

How is it removing consent?  Everyone knows, well in advance, the nature of the event and what will be required of participants.  By showing up, they consent to those requirements.  It's really very basic and straightforward. 

It is removing consent because you've provided no alternative for people who attend.  The invitation requires people to participate in their D/s roles by virtue of being there.  Just because you regard the service as something impersonal or trivial, doesn't mean that it is for others.   For some people this level and degree of submission is MORE meaningful, more signficant and more intimate, than a flogging or crawling on the floor.  I would be one of those people.  I'm not joking either.  I can easily be minimally sexually submissive with someone early in my relationship with them, but to provide them with submission outside of sexuality - that is where intimacy and genuine relationship are necessary for me.  You are arguing that the consent occurs when one accepts the invitation to attend... OK, that's fair.  However, if you want to be 'inclusive' providing a non-participatory means of engaging others is a generous thing to do.  In the end, you might find that people who are able to attend part of your evening for brief observations, may find it an interesting learning experience and show a greater flexibility should you have future parties of this nature. 

quote:
No, it is not.  I would not expect someone else to make such concessions for me, and the nature of our event does not allow for "extras."  Not to mention that I'm not cooking a 7-course meal and serving it to someone's slave just because they decided to come as "non-participants." 


Firstly, I clearly stated that I wouldn't expect such concessions.  I do, however, think that a gracious host would be inclined to want to attempt to find means of accommodating their invited guests and friends- even if only for a short period of time to allow people to feel included. 

Yes - well... we wouldn't want a slave to eat a fine meal or anything... what a travesty!  I find it very interesting that you find serving "a slave" so offensive - why?  Besides, I didn't say you had to serve or feed them.  Try thinking outside the box for a bit?  Did I say they had to attend the whole dinner?  Did I say they had to eat it?   I would've suggested several options... invite them to attend the information session where the expert you've invited gives information.  Invite them to come after dinner and socialize and sit and talk.  Invite them just for dessert?  There are any number of things one could do if they really wanted to make an effort to try and include their friends.

I'm a bit perplexed as to why you posted this thread as a Dilemma.  It appears there isn't much of a dilemma at all.  You've already decided that you are not willing to change any part of your plans or even to extend a "partial" invitation to allow these folks to attend within their own comfort level.  It appears to me that you merely wanted a place to rant where people would pat you on the back and agree.   And - were it not for my post, which was entirely polite and a genuine effort to present an alternative perspective in conjunction with constructive advice on how to provide an alternative approach... it would've been a fait accompli.  

I hope you enjoy your party.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 9:18:03 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Wouldn't all this be like saying "I'm having a lingerie party at my house, but for those of you who are offended by lingerie, I'll have a seperate room set up with Tupperware instead."

Or, having a costume party at Halloween and inviting all my friends, but having a different kind of party in another room for those friends who don't celebrate Halloween.

Or I know...it's a party I'm holding in my home...I'll have whatever theme party I wish to have. I'm not seeing the logic, actually, but then I'm weird that way.

(in reply to TypeAsub1)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 9:21:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: czarlipet
I believe they had one called "This Edwardian House" and "This 1900 House".... I think they had one set in Victorian era. The shows were extremely educational and I know you can get more information by going to the PBS website.

The few episodes I got to see of those I loved!  I always wanted to watch them all.

I'm a huge etiquette snob- as someone who is extremely socially awkward and unempathetic, they help give me structure to rely on and know what rules are ok and whaty are not- both for myself and for others who may be intruding upon my space.

While I've always been really big into etiquette and manners, exactly why I need them so much is a recent revelation to me. 

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 9:37:02 PM   
TypeAsub1


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		No it's like having a Play party and saying that everyone must play.  Or having a party where I serve alcohol and telling everyone they must drink that alcohol.. even if you're an alcoholic.  Or having a lingerie party and telling people that they must actually wear the lingerie and model it for everyone.  Or having a costume party and insisting that everyone must wear a costume - no exceptions. 

This isn't tupperware or lingerie.. it's D/s and it is requiring the participants to engage in the D/s activities.  I'm not suggesting that she do anything differently or create a whole new party.  I am suggesting that IF these people are indeed friends, she might want to provide a means of allowing them to enjoy part of the social aspect of the evening without requiring them to participate in a form of D/s that they are not comfortable with.

If I was so concerned that everyone must be agreeable to doing everything my way at a party I was holding... i'd have made damn sure that I only invited people I knew would be 100% comfortable with it from the start.  If the goal is truly to allow people to learn and experience something new - then I think it's ineffective to exclude people who aren't comfortable with it.  It's the whole "you get more bees with honey" approach.  If you want to share something new and different - make it fun, comfortable and welcoming for all...

It seems to me that the OP is using this party as a means of living out a personal fantasy and the invited guests aren't playing their fantasy roles properly.  Parties are supposed to be fun for everyone.  If you invited someone, I'm assuming that you wanted them there for a reason.  It seems rather silly to me to be more concerned with people acting the way you want them to - than it is to be concerned with the comfort and enjoyment of people you felt were close enough friends to invite in the first place.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Wouldn't all this be like saying "I'm having a lingerie party at my house, but for those of you who are offended by lingerie, I'll have a seperate room set up with Tupperware instead."

Or, having a costume party at Halloween and inviting all my friends, but having a different kind of party in another room for those friends who don't celebrate Halloween.

Or I know...it's a party I'm holding in my home...I'll have whatever theme party I wish to have. I'm not seeing the logic, actually, but then I'm weird that way.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 9:39:24 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TypeAsub1
It seems to me that the OP is using this party as a means of living out a personal fantasy and the invited guests aren't playing their fantasy roles properly. 


Actually, I just thought she opening her home to others for an interesting event, which all invitees except for one were pretty excited about.

(in reply to TypeAsub1)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 9:41:36 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		All I have to say is why oh why wasn't I invited to the party????

It's not like I could go... it's just the mention I miss.

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(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: I Have a Dilemma - 2/19/2007 10:21:15 PM   
TypeAsub1


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		I think the one couple was excited about the event... they were not, however, excited about having to participate in the entirety of it.  Clearly if they weren't excited about the evening, they simply would've declined the invitation.

Again - the OP states: This is something with which most members are not familiar, and we're viewing the event as a learning experience.  We've even got a protocol expert coming in before the event to speak on this specific style of behavior. 

I think it would've been a lovely and easy way of dealing with this to indicate to the Gorean couple that the dinner is reserved for participants, but if they wanted to be present for the educational talk from the protocol expert and to attend for socializing and drinks at the end of the evening, they would be more than welcome.  Such an EASY solution and if they are truly "viewing the event as a learning experience" that would've been an excellent means of allowing the couple to actually learn, socialize with friends and the host would've had her cake and eaten it too...

My initial response was much like everyone elses... what got to me was the response to the mere suggestion that some flexibility might be worth consideration.  It was adamant and inflexible.  That leads me to believe that the host is more concerned with being right... than she is with being accommodating.  Which I find ironic, given the nature of her comments with regards to "service".  I may well have issues with serving people meals and drinks - but I can't fathom a situation whereby I would invite people into my home and force them to engage in public D/s activities which they find objectionable.  If I were to hold such an event, I'd ask for submissives to volunteer.  Those who wanted to attend but not participate would also be welcome... but hey, it's not my fantasy and I'm just accommodating that way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Actually, I just thought she opening her home to others for an interesting event, which all invitees except for one were pretty excited about.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 60
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