RE: Dominants submit to requests? (Full Version)

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CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:51:21 AM)

Thank you.  When he urinated on you as you requested, was that servicing your request?  If yes, does that mean sometimes a dominant services a sub when the dom does what the sub wants, in your opinion.  If not, what was it?



drawntothedark -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:52:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

So if you asked to be serviced in this or that way, the act is called servicing.  So, doms (among other things) service their subs?


This post shows it is in reply to me, yet I have already said my Master doesn't service me in any way.  I do not ask to be serviced. Once again, I can not speak for other dominants.


I was curious if you were to 'ever' ask -what would happen.

Thanks for sharing.

My opinion is that when a dom decides to do a sub like that sub requests that is a form of servicing and the dom is submitting (submitting to cater to the subs request) in a sense.


You have asked this question over and over. many people have given you really good answers. Perhaps it's not the answers you wanted hear? (Since you continue to ask it over and over)

My two cents: When I submit to someone it is because I have agreed to do that. I have limites and etc. but basically I try hard not to let "No" or "I will not" slip out of mouth. If my Dom does something nice for me or trys out one of my idea's he did that solely because he wanted to. He did not agree at the beginning of our relationship to submit to my desires. When he does something special for me I do not see it as him being submissive. He has the choice of doing it or not. He would only do it if he wanted to, unlike a submissive. A submissive does many things she isn't always wonderfully happy to do. It got down to around 45 degrees this weekend. I would have liked to stay curled up by him in the warm bed, but me being the submisive one, I did not get that luxuray. I got up and tip toed on the hard wood floor to make the coffee while he sleeped under warm blankets.

I will do things sometimes that I do not enjoy (clothes pins on ceratin places comes to mind). I do them because I WANT to give him my submission. When he does something he will take pleasure from it or something good or he will not do it. He has that choice. I on the other hand do not.





ownedgirlie -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:52:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

You mean what's my question?  Reread the title. 

I do not need to reread the title.  I saw the question.  My question to you was not "what's the question" but what's your opinion on dominants who service their submissives?

quote:


Here's a cut and paste to help satisfy you.

Thank you, however it really wasn't necessary.

quote:


My opinion is that when a dom decides to do a sub like that sub requests that is a form of servicing and the dom is submitting (submitting to cater to the subs request) in a sense.

Good or bad?  Not relevant unless in your eyes it is. 

Here's a cut and paste of my question to you, in case you missed it:

"I am asking your opinion on dominants who "service" their subs as you say.  What are your thoughts on that?"

Care to answer that specifically?







SusanofO -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:52:39 AM)

He had the option to say "No" and make it stick. That's the difference.
It's the entire nature of the relationship.

- Susan



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:54:44 AM)

I think the OP needs to stop posting for a few hours and digest the answers given.



CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:54:51 AM)

If he "grants" your request to do you the way you desire is he yeilding or complying to your request and is that the same as submitting to your request, in your opinion.  If yes, than there are times Doms comply, appease or submit to requests of subs.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:56:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount
If yes, than there are times Doms comply, appease or submit to requests of subs.

False.



CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:56:22 AM)

And thank you for sharing your thoughts on this open forum.



SusanofO -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:57:23 AM)

Myabe it is. However, the difference is that the very nature of a D/s relationship is that he doesn't have to do that, and can in fact choose not to comply. A submissive has agreed, on the other hand to comply always with the nature of a Domiant's requests (within pre-arranged limits), whether or not she wants to do them at the moment.

- Susan



CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:57:39 AM)

Thanks, perhaps in your world but you don't speak for all, do you.



CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:59:27 AM)

Thank you.  You're correct in that the dom doesnt have to comply or appease his sub if he doesn't want to, but are there times he does comply or appease or bend to the subs request, in your experience or opinion?



SusanofO -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:01:24 AM)

I think she is saying the nature of the word "comply" makes its use wrong, in this context. He/she (the Dominant partner) may appear to comply, but who is he/she complying with, if he/she is in fact the Dominant one - if he/she therefore has retained the power to say "No?"

He/she may be agreeing to do something the submissive wants, and great, that's fine. But -  he/she could say "No" if he/she wanted to say "No." So maybe comply isn't the right word to use, although I don't really think it's either here or there, it's that the Dom person can say "No" anytime.

- Susan



CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:06:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think the OP needs to stop posting for a few hours and digest the answers given.


Thank you for gracing us with your witty insightful intelligence and delusions of adequaqcy but this OP thinks you need to release your bowels and crawl back when you feel better. 



CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:07:57 AM)

I see.  Thank you Susan.



Missokyst -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:07:57 AM)

[sm=ofcourse.gif]
Well heck, people!  I can see it clearly now!  Of course, the dom is a "weanie weak spineless really wants to be a sub", faux dominant if he should ever consider submitting to his subs request.

Is that what you needed to hear anyone say?  Are you appeased now? [sm=banghead.gif]
It would be lunacy to do something your partner asked of you. 
Kyst



quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

Thank you.  You're correct in that the dom doesnt have to comply or appease his sub if he doesn't want to, but are there times he does comply or appease or bend to the subs request, in your experience or opinion?



SusanofO -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:12:33 AM)

You're welcome. It's a good question, and there are Dominants who join all the time who apparently think that random submissives not in a relationship with them are now going to agree instantly with every single thing they "order them to do" - they are usually quickly jolted out of this illusion by ticked off submissives, IMO. 

What submissives agree to do is arranged before they enter into a D/s relationship. Any responsible Domiante is going to ask them what their "limits" are - those bdsm activities they'd rather not (or simply cannot bring themselves to) engage in.

There are submissives who seem unable to run even a small corner of their lives without contant over-sight from soneone else, and they think that someone Domiant is going to "make everything okay" for them. Instead, they might well end up driving some Dominant totally nuts ina relationship (unless they are into a lot of micro-management, which a lot of them aren't, although some are). But even then, I think most are seeking an emotionally mature adult as a partner (although that, like anything else, could be debatable, I suppose).

- Susan 



CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:15:31 AM)

Thanks.



SusanofO -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:15:45 AM)

I meant "agree to do" in a general way - I mean, people can re-nogotiate things, and do, all the time. It depends on the two people involved how much they want to do this.

- Susan



CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:17:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

[sm=ofcourse.gif]
Well heck, people!  I can see it clearly now!  Of course, the dom is a "weanie weak spineless really wants to be a sub", faux dominant if he should ever consider submitting to his subs request.

Is that what you needed to hear anyone say?  Are you appeased now? [sm=banghead.gif]
It would be lunacy to do something your partner asked of you. 
Kyst



quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

Thank you.  You're correct in that the dom doesnt have to comply or appease his sub if he doesn't want to, but are there times he does comply or appease or bend to the subs request, in your experience or opinion?



Wow, thanks for your input.



SusanofO -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 10:21:10 AM)

No problem. I don't think it was a stupid question, especially if you're a Newbie (and I know Lucky Albatross. I sincerely don't think she was being rude. She was a Philosophy major and tends to look at things from a very objective POV. I think she was simply answering the base question - it's just "her way". She in fact runs some bdsm local group stuff, and is helpful to Newbies. I think she was being sincere, just to the point). 

I think there are people who may dis-agree in how often a submissive can bring up things she's agreed to do (or not) for re-negotiation, without ruining the nature of the D/s relationship, once a D/s relationship has begun, but I think there are no hard and fast rules about this, it's whatever works for the people involved.

- Susan 



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