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MsKatHouston -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 11:31:51 AM)
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Submit:
1 a : to yield to governance or authority b : to subject to a condition, treatment, or operation <the metal was submitted to analysis>
2 : to present or propose to another for review, consideration, or decision <submit a question to the court> <submit a bid on a contract> <submit a report>; also : to deliver formally <submitted my resignation>
3 : to put forward as an opinion or contention <we submit that the charge is not proved>
intransitive verb
1 a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : SURRENDER b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something <had to submit to surgery>
2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another
Serve:
1 a : to be a servant b : to do military or naval service
2 : to assist a celebrant as server at mass
3 a : to be of use <in a day when few people could write, seals served as signatures -- Elizabeth W. King> b : to be favorable, opportune, or convenient c : to be worthy of reliance or trust <if memory serves> d : to hold an office : discharge a duty or function <serve on a jury>
4 : to prove adequate or satisfactory : SUFFICE <it will serve for this task>
5 : to help persons to food: as a : to wait at table b : to set out portions of food or drink
6 : to wait on customers
7 : to put the ball or shuttlecock in play in various games (as tennis, volleyball, or badminton)
transitive verb
1 a : to be a servant to : ATTEND b : to give the service and respect due to (a superior) c : to comply with the commands or demands of : GRATIFY d : to give military or naval service to e : to perform the duties of (an office or post)
2 : to act as server at (mass)
3 archaic : to pay a lover's or suitor's court to (a lady) <that gentle lady, whom I love and serve -- Edmund Spenser>
4 a : to work through (a term of service ) b : to put in (a term of imprisonment)
5 a : to wait on at table b : to bring (food) to a diner c : PRESENT, PROVIDE -- usually used with up <the novel served up many laughs>
6 a : to furnish or supply with something needed or desired b : to wait on (a customer) in a store c : to furnish professional service to
7 a : to answer the needs of b : to be enough for : SUFFICE c : to contribute or conduce to : PROMOTE
8 : to treat or act toward in a specified way <he served me ill>
9 a : to bring to notice, deliver, or execute as required by law b : to make legal service upon (a person named in a process)
10 of a male animal : to copulate with
11 : to wind yarn or wire tightly around (a rope or stay) for protection
12 : to provide services that benefit or help
13 : to put (the ball or shuttlecock) in play (as in tennis or badminton)
I suppose my agreement or disagreement would depend on the use of the term submit and serve. A dominant does not yield authority to the submissive nor does s/he comply to commands or demands of the submissive in the relationsip (in most cases). If that were so, it would seem to me that the power shifted to the submissive. Most D/s relationships I know of, including my own, do not work from that perspective.
Instead, the authority remains solely with the dominant. The submissive serves the dominant. The submissive submits to the dominant. Part of that service often includes the open and honest communication of the submissive's desires and needs so that the dominant can consider the best course of action. The resulting decision may sometimes and even often coincide directly with the submissive's needs and desires.
I think the problem here is use of particular terms. Most everyone agrees that a dominant and submissive often agree with what to do in a relationship. Often a dominant will ask the opinion of and indulge the submissive in their wants and needs. But when you take terms like "serve" and "submit" it depends on the context. I do not submit to or serve my submissive. I do however, serve his needs on occasion because we happen to be highly compatible. I will sometimes submit to his desires in the meaning of "to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion [or authority] of another. In my case, it is his opinion I defer to as he has no authority in our relationship.
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