Dominants submit to requests?

Dominants submit to requests? (Full Version)

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CreatfreeAccount -> Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 7:35:02 AM)
Do Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes? If so, is the dominant being submissive when acting out the sub's fantasy for the sub? If yes, does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 7:41:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount Do Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes? There's quite a large difference between granting a request and submitting to a request. It's still the dominants ultimate decision. quote: If so, is the dominant being submissive when acting out the sub's fantasy for the sub? No. quote: If yes, does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship? No. Sadly, too many subs feel this is true and thus break down communication by not requesting or even informing the dom of things. And too many doms feel this is true and thus equate saying "no" all the time with being dominant. I understand that the way people fantasize about these relationships, it is hard to mesh with the reality of communication and working together, but it must mesh or it will be doomed. The quicker people give up their illusions, the much more fulfilled they will be.

CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 7:44:23 AM)
thanks

SusanofO -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 7:46:11 AM)
Good response, *LA.* Those who think that D/s is an excuse for brow-beating are going to find they have rather short-lived relationships with submissives, probably, IMO. And submissives who think a Dominant is going to "un-mess" their entire lives if they lack the emotional maturity to even make the smallest decision for themselves, or think clearly on their own, are going to find themselves frustrating a few Dominants, IMO. D/s requires adult participation, just like any healthy relationship. - Susan

SimplyMichael -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 7:47:28 AM)
NOTHING drives me battier than when submissives hold things back they should be telling me. Drama doesn't drive me as nuts, I can at least relate to drama...

domiguy -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 7:47:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount Do Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes? If so, is the dominant being submissive when acting out the sub's fantasy for the sub? If yes, does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship? Not if you are a TRUE DOM!!! I set the rules and never try anything new..Unless of course I thought of it. I have found that to have any chance at a long lasting relationship it is solely based on me taking the bitch by the horns...and communication only gets in the way....Great post!....Keep up the good work!...Can't wait for the next insightful question!!!

ownedgirlie -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 8:38:42 AM)
My Master submits to nothing, at least when it comes to me, lol. I have, however, made requests. Of these requests, some he thought were good ideas and incorporated them. Some he wasn't so keen on but explored them and either incorporated them or rejected them, and some he flat out rejected. He controls the relationship, always.

CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 8:49:26 AM)
Thanks, your approval is valuable to me.

MissEnchantress -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 8:50:32 AM)
I don't consider myself to 'submit' to a subs request. However, subs have a lot to teach Dom/mes. Some subs have more experience in certain areas then their Top and the Top can learn a lot. I want a sub to make requests. That gives me power. Knowledge is power. If a sub wants Me to do something I now know what I can use as a reward. I would never do something I truly, truly hate. The reality is in a loving D/s relationship both partners have to be happy.

CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 8:51:50 AM)
When he incorporates and does things you have requested of him, is that not submitting to your request?

CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 8:53:43 AM)
I would not think a dominant would do anything to the requesting sub that the dom hated, but when your sub makes a request and you do it, are you servicing his desires?

AquaticSub -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 8:53:50 AM)
I make requests. Sometimes Valyraen grants them, sometimes he doesn't. shrugs If he said no all the time just to enjoy his power, he'd be an asshole and I'd be looking elsewhere. That said, I still want to go to zoo...

MsKatHouston -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 8:54:08 AM)
quote: Do Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes? If so, is the dominant being submissive when acting out the sub's fantasy for the sub? If yes, does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship? I answered your slightly altered question in Ask A Mistress so won't rehash but will only clarify the part on submission. No, it does not mean the dominant is being submissive. The dominant chose to act a certain way. It so happened to coincide with the submissive's desires. There was no shift in power. The dominant will often do things that the submissive likes. If it all sucked for the sub it probably wouldn't last long. But there is no change in the dynamic of D/s just because a dominant is in a particularly agreeable mood that day.

MsKatHouston -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 8:57:44 AM)
quote: When he incorporates and does things you have requested of him, is that not submitting to your request? Submitting to a request is not the same as submitting in a BDSM dynamic nor is it the same as submission. Much the same as hitting "submit" on a form does not make a dominant doing it suddenly a submissive. quote: I would not think a dominant would do anything to the requesting sub that the dom hated, but when your sub makes a request and you do it, are you servicing his desires? I am servicing my own desires. At the time I desired to do what my sub liked also. The difference is I will indulge my sub but will not do anything I really dislike. There are times he has to do what he does not like to please me.

CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:02:31 AM)
Many thank yous.

CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:03:54 AM)
What is the act called when the dom does what the sub likes? Is the act "submission" or "servicing" or something else?

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:04:19 AM)
Doing something nice for someone or as a reward is not submission. The intent behind the action is what defines the meaning. I've cleaned my friend's apartment while he was at work because it was a nice surprise, not because I submitted to him. I've had my house cleaned by someone in submission. It's all about the mental, emotional and spiritual intent. Master Fire

MsKatHouston -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:05:27 AM)
quote: What is the act called when the dom does what the sub likes? Is the act "submission" or "servicing" or something else? being nice?

ONEDEMANDINGMSTR -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:05:41 AM)
It's always been My philosophy that a D/s relationship must be enjoyable/fulfilling for BOTH parties involved. As a consequence, it is imperative for the sub to commuicate to her Dom, her needs, wants, desires, and fantasies! A daily journal is a requirement. She must always be direct and truthful in what has pleased her, turned her on, and what she has thought about in between times. This is My way of gaining continuing insight into her psyche! Although not the only way. What I do with the information gained is up to Me. But suffice to say, I do pay great attention to her needs. What kind of fool would ignore them??? 1DEMANDING

CreatfreeAccount -> RE: Dominants submit to requests? (2/27/2007 9:08:49 AM)
I'm not talking in reference to a friend cleaning a freind's house. Between a dom and his sub only. If your sub said 'please do me like this tonight' and you do, are you submitting to his request?

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