RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (Full Version)

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domiguy -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 2:07:04 PM)

Again why would this site be any different than dating vanilla? I know many beautiful woman (of course I tapped 'em all) That have gone several years without getting into any kind of serious relationship...Look at my profile, It's obvious that I am a beautiful specimen but that doesn't mean I will settle down with just anyone. I have been known to have gone days without banging someone.
\
However, if the op is serious I know of several Nigerian subs that just might be up his alley. Personally I think there are very few women on this site that are "doable"...even less that are worthy of public display...and maybe a couple that you would consider anything long term (meaning hanging with for longer than an hour or two).  So it doesn't surprise me that it takes awhile for a women to find that Dom that could thrill and sate her like the Domiguy.




auniquegift -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 2:15:57 PM)

SimplyMichael Sir....thank you for saying that...very well put....




bandit25 -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 2:44:54 PM)

I was thinking that for a lot of the subs...the relationship simply didn't work out and now they are looking again.  The other very good point made is that so many of those one finds desirable simply live too far away and relocation is out of the question.




aSlavesLife -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 2:57:59 PM)

Everyone has offered great reasons so far, but my personal favorite is that some set their standards so high that when they reach for them they develop nosebleeds and lapse into unconsciousness. Now to be fair to the subs, it would help if the dominants would have the humps on their backs surgically removed, invest in dentures, and practice bathing even when not caught in thunderstorms.

But all that aside, there is one foolproof way to get all the attention you want from subs and slaves. Find one of your own, then announce that you are not looking.




ScreamerGirl -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 2:59:28 PM)

Put me in the picky category.  Also in the not looking very hard category and the category for submissives who won't settle for just any old dominant.

I've settled before and ended up disappointed.  I have no intention of continuing on that path.




Zsuzsanna -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 3:09:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterChav

I keep an eye on the list of female subs on this site and the thing that strikes me the most that I see the same names over and over again. I read their profiles and they are actively looking for owners / Doms / Masters etc and have very attractive profiles and most attractive pictures, too.

So why haven't they found anyone? Some have signup dates that are months old and they must have received 100s of offers yet they're still here? Are they too fussy? Are they Timewasters or made-up profiles? Or out of all the offers they must have received are there really no suitable Doms?

What's going on? And before someone says "maybe they're just looking for friends", I'm talking about the femsubs who state on their profile that they are looking for Doms, owners, etc.


Well, I did have a Dom for a while, but now I'm looking again.




GeekyGirl -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 3:12:37 PM)

I haven't read this whole thread, but my answer is that I'm picky.

I recieved literally hundreds of emails and less than 15 were from people in my age range and in my local area (and I'm defining "local" as within a 3 hr drive.)

Of those 15, only one has been worth persuing and I hoping things continue to go well with him (we're meeting for the first time this weekend).

For me, I have a pretty large list of deal breakers "must have no children nor want any" "Must love animals" "No prison record" "must be ok with my religion" "must be ok with my social and political views" etc.




MsLadySue -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 5:39:34 PM)

[sm=ofcourse.gif]There's a rule book? Why am I always the last one to know these things? [sm=book.gif] LOL




puella -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 5:44:54 PM)

Domi,

You have yet to post a picture of yourself to which all we subs can wank.  Your profile is incomplete for full heart/loin-throbdome

;)




Quivver -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 5:47:52 PM)

Comming in a little late here but what the heck, my 2 cents with the others and you might have a buck or two.  .........  I've been here for sometime myself.  I've met a few wonderful people and a few not so wonderful ones.  For what ever the reason was things just were not meant to be.  Sure I've been told I'm too picky and I've also been told I'm too this and to that (you fill in the blanks)  I honestly try not to waste anyones time, if I dont feel a click fairly quickly I move on.  Then again, I dont take the net all that seriously anymore.  My profile now is the best and most honesty that I think I've made.  I took down my photos and really do not get mail.  Then again I think my age has a bit to do with that too.  Not many Dom's seem to be searching for Sub's pushing 50.  And many of those who are, are ready to slow down and enjoy some porch time.  We've little in common.  So, I'm here mostly for the boards. 







angelic -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 5:50:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Hello MasterChav,

As a single submissive, let me put in my two cents, for what it is worth.  I do not need a man or a dominant to validate who I am.  I certainly do not need the wrong man taking a position of control over me.  I am perfectly capable of handling my own life and living well without some random domly sort just there because ...

Many, and I am one of them, will argue that it is a far wiser choice to live and grow as an individual than to partner yourself up out of some sort of desperation or, heaven forbid, peer pressure.

Quite simply... I am not willing to hand over my life to some guy just because some people find it unfathomable that I can be both submissive and single.

Too fussy??  Perhaps, however, I have had my whole life tossed upside down by a poor decision before, and I learned from that mistake.  Do you have any idea how costly it is to a submissive to surrender profoundly and give up your entire life to a person, just to have that foundation rot away?

The damage and destruction is immeasurable, and some of it can not be recouped.

Better to be fussy, and to not settle... settling is demeaning to both partners in a relationship and will only lead to sadness.

I do wonder at your question though…  It makes me wonder why you think being careful and selective (fussy) is unbecoming in a submissive?  Perhaps submissives have no right to value themselves and their livelihoods too highly?


i have not read all the pages to this thread.  i was just starting to read through and considered responding; however, i would never have been able to say it like this. 

Thank you, puella. :)




odalisqueslave -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 5:55:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

What I would be curious to know is how many of the subs who have been on here for a year or two and still haven't found anyone - how many attempts have you made at actual meetings?

Assuming in that time, after weeding out the obvious weirdos and other undesirables, there were a few left who might be worth taking a chance on getting to know. I'm not talking about making a decision to be someone's sub, just physically meeting them to see if the potential is there. How many of you have ever taken it even that far?



I have met a few people from here to see if we clicked. This is after trying to weed through the ones who were only looking for quick sex or sex on the side and not a D/s relationship that encompassed the part of who I am that I really want to share with someone. Some people who are on here I've met at munches and other local gatherings. So far there hasn't been the right "click" or they haven't been interested.

It's not like I'm not willing to try, but I'm picky about who I will submit to since I'm looking for long-term, not play partners. I am most interested in someone who matches on a vanilla level as well as in a D/s sense.

Just my take on it.


sublizzie...

my sentiments exactly...thanks for sensible, pertinent post.

odal




BrainSlugs83 -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 6:06:42 PM)

"But all that aside, there is one foolproof way to get all the attention you want from subs and slaves. Find one of your own, then announce that you are not looking. " -- Isn't that the truth.

Has anyone actually found an avilable sub through this site? Most of what I find seem to be old profiles that are no longer looking for doms -- I should move to the area the OP is from since he there are so many there! haha.

Seriously though, I'm a newbie, and also a little bizarre -- I'm more of a soft and cuddly must-have-romance-geek type than the millitary commando do-it-now-bitch stereo-type (which seems to be what subs want). 

If I was a sub, a site like this would be the last place I'd go looking for a dom. -- Wikipedia says doms are much more rare than subs, which could possibly be very true, but in my limited experience it's not.  For every sub I've met, she's had multiple prospects for doms at the same time competing for her -- for every dom I've met, they're usually in-between subs, hoping a good one will come along.

Hope I didn't hijack the thread too badly, horribly insult anyone, or open up a whole new can of worms.




VeryMercurial -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 6:20:47 PM)

Don't forget all the female Dominants that are also still looking.
I think there is a lack of quality men, Dominant and submissive.




Mikal -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 6:35:49 PM)

My 2 cents after reading the first and (currently) last page...

I haven't met anyone personally (yet), however I do carry on conversations (IM, phone, email) with people... sometimes for hours [sm=mrpuffy.gif]. I'd like to think these people are available and basically what they say they are - especially considering I've yapped with some of them for several months [:D]. It's been my choice not to meet, as I'm not in a position to support a long term  relationship nor am I really all that interested atm.

So, I think there are 'actual' subs who have simply not found what they are looking for. Quality is rarely found in haste, and just because YOU want it NOW doesn't mean that haste is less than 3 days. [8D]  *thats a general 'you', not directed at anyone in particular





BrainSlugs83 -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 7:01:11 PM)

I think that in a lot of the online sites, the quality pool just plain drops all around, men and women. -- You run into people "hu typ l1k3 THiS" and say "u", who don't know how to check their email, or just plain arn't all there.

(Seriously, I watched a movie with one girl I met online, and it was a movie that she'd seen before -- not once -- five times -- she even said it was one of her favorites -- we choose a movie we'd both seen so that minor interuptions and conversation wouldn't be a big deal -- and it wasn't a hard movie to understand either (Unbreakable) -- but she kept asking questions about what was going on in the movie, not like deep plot questions, but like seven year old stuff... -- I think she might have had a disorder;  Another girl I was going to take out to dinner, asked if we could go to McDonalds -- seriously? I mean, even denny's would have been nicer -- she ordered five cheese burgers and put one in her purse before we left... -- And those were "normal" girls that I met through vanilla sites...)

I think more guys go to online dating sites than girls though, so I kind of wonder if females just post personal ads because it makes them feel special when a hundred guys reply fawning over them and they don't have to do anything special.  I kind of think women go "clubbing" for the same reason.  They just want attention and arn't really looking.







Quivver -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 7:04:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrainSlugs83

I kind of wonder if females just post personal ads because it makes them feel special when a hundred guys reply fawning over them and they don't have to do anything special.  I kind of think women go "clubbing" for the same reason.  They just want attention and arn't really looking.



Awe Slug that idea just sucks!!  I may be old, but I'm not desperate!




BrainSlugs83 -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 7:16:36 PM)

Aww, I wasn't pointing fingers at you! *HUGS* [:)] -- I'm thinking mostly of the immature teenie-boppers that I keep running into!

I've never been a member of a bdsm site before (I'm a bdsm site virgin!), but I've found this whole thread very depressing! And it has caused me to actually expect less from this site than a normal one. [:(]

Think about it though -- it's a universal trend, guys do the persuing, and girls do the accepting/rejecting -- why do they dress up nice and fancy to go out to a club so that they can tell 50 cute guys that are fawning over them that they don't like them? -- If they didn't like doing it, you'd think they'd stop! -- cute college girls act like they're rock stars or something! >:-\




swtrayn -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 7:30:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Hello MasterChav,

As a single submissive, let me put in my two cents, for what it is worth.  I do not need a man or a dominant to validate who I am.  I certainly do not need the wrong man taking a position of control over me.  I am perfectly capable of handling my own life and living well without some random domly sort just there because ...

Many, and I am one of them, will argue that it is a far wiser choice to live and grow as an individual than to partner yourself up out of some sort of desperation or, heaven forbid, peer pressure.

Quite simply... I am not willing to hand over my life to some guy just because some people find it unfathomable that I can be both submissive and single.

Too fussy??  Perhaps, however, I have had my whole life tossed upside down by a poor decision before, and I learned from that mistake.  Do you have any idea how costly it is to a submissive to surrender profoundly and give up your entire life to a person, just to have that foundation rot away?

The damage and destruction is immeasurable, and some of it can not be recouped.

Better to be fussy, and to not settle... settling is demeaning to both partners in a relationship and will only lead to sadness.

I do wonder at your question though…  It makes me wonder why you think being careful and selective (fussy) is unbecoming in a submissive?  Perhaps submissives have no right to value themselves and their livelihoods too highly?




All I can say to this is.."WOW"  I have to say that it is true for many submissives and I hope for most, that just because we are submissive does not mean that we will submit to just anyone. Another question, just because someone is submissive should they "settle" just to be with a Dom? So, if that makes the submissives fussy.. I say have at it girls.. be fussy :)

(ok, going back to my corner [sm=wave.gif])

swtrayn




WhiplashSmile -> RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? (2/27/2007 7:43:16 PM)

I would honestly say for the same reasons why a lot of DOMs are still looking. 




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