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RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 7:55:29 AM

sublizzie

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I'm just glad someone said it, Aine.

NControl... Sometimes letting it drop is the more mature way to deal with these kinds of situations IMO.

Just my thoughts....

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Post #: 61

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 7:56:43 AM

carolsea

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From: North Carolina
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

THEN girl why don't you become what you wish and leave the others to make their own decisions,I can tell from your attitude that you would have a "very" difficult time with a MASTER that takes no prisoners such as myself..<snip>

A MASTER who takes no "prisoners" yet it seems what you want in a "TPE slave", which in your definition sounds like a "prisoner".... hmmm !

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Post #: 62

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 7:56:45 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
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*waves to all those watching and not chiming in* Come on in, the water's fine.

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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Post #: 63

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 7:58:51 AM

NControlofU

Posts: 204
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

I'm just glad someone said it, Aine.

NControl... Sometimes letting it drop is the more mature way to deal with these kinds of situations IMO.

Just my thoughts....

I thought this was a "Discussion" board. So, what's the harm in discussing? No said that we all have to agree in order to get along.

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Post #: 64

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 7:58:53 AM

MisterPhister

Posts: 19
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Not out to change this world this morning, Aine

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Post #: 65

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:00:35 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FORCEFULL11229

As a Lifestyle Dom in the life for over 25 years, it still amazes me to read the various ads from females who claim that they are slaves, but yet in thier ads they dictate what they will and wont do. How they expect the "Master" to behave.
Funny, I always thought a slave does as the Master wishes, not the other way around. I also understand that the Master always has the slaves welfare at heart, making sure that no harm befalls her.

Okay maybe not expressed the most clearly, but I get what you are saying and I agree. I do think that if someone is unowned and is looking at being someone’s slave in the future that they are their own person and thus don't have a master (or mistress) to adjust towards. But, I don't think that having a list of will do's, won't do's, expectations of negotiation or even 100% similar beliefs and limits is realistic if someone's looking for slavery. Nor can I imagine that it would be all that appealing for someone who's looking for a slave to have a bunch of will do's, won't do's, etc used as a first step. I'm a huge fan of approaching slavery and even in the throes of slavery to have an openness, flexibility, and willingness to adjust and align to the person over time.

C~

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Post #: 66

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:00:36 AM

Aine

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It's not a discussion when people are insulting others for their opinions or ways. Which I see is running a little rampant from a lot of people in this thread.

I'd say it's more of a pissing match at the moment, rather than a level-headed discussion.

*edited because the caffeine has not yet reached my fingers*

< Message edited by Aine -- 3/5/2007 8:02:11 AM >

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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Post #: 67

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:03:20 AM

onestandingstill

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This is the OPof another thread on the opposing side of the coin to this OP.
It's very relavant to this thread so I reposted it here.
We all have our perspectives and I think on that one thing we all agree.
I don't understand why the OP needs to feel his perspective is the only truth that can be the right one.

quote:

Generally, when I've seen 'consent' discussed, its in terms of the s-side consenting to various actions by the D-side. The s gives consent, and the D receives it. This makes a lot of sense because it acknowledges the aysmetrical power relation and 'consent' is a mechanism that is supposedly for the protection of the less powerful.

On the other hand, before a power exchange dynamic is fully established, the two parties begin as equals. Neither is more powerful than the other and there's no reason to assume that the s is inherantly less powerful than the D. Given this, it seems that the s should worry just as much about getting the D's consent as the D does about getting the s's consent.

I understand that not everyone uses SSC and places emphasis on consent. Personally, I don't make a big deal out of it, but I do find myself seeking a D's consent all the time. It takes the form of "asking permission" but I don't think its any different in principal from consent. Early on, I seek permission for everything, and its always puzzled me why I do that. My gut feeling is that I don't want to impose myself on a Dominant or assume things about a relationship that I shouldn't be assuming. Its only been very recently that I've made the connection between my permission seeking behavior and the idea of consent.

I'm curious about what other's think about this. Any thoughts are welcome. :)

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Post #: 68

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:06:47 AM

GeekyGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I think you're enslaved when your head is so occupied by someone else that you don't even have the inclination to focus on what you wouldn't do for them, but rather the need to beg for the opportunity to do something you hate just for the priviledge to serve that person.

Don't guess I've ever been properly enslaved then...can't remember ever jumping for joy and begging for the opportunity to tell my best friend to get out of my life, begging for the opportunity to tell my parents "f-you, I've found someone more important" begging for the opportunity to take my dog to the pound or some such....

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Post #: 69

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:07:31 AM

izzybella

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The thing that I find the funniest here is that the OP and a couple of the other masters are complaining about people not being realistic in their profiles, yet they seem to have a problem understanding that their own grasp on reality as it pertains to slavery seems to be tenuous at best.

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Post #: 70

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:11:50 AM

MisterPhister

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Not everyone inhabits the same world. Some are ensconsed in a fantasy world, some are implacably rooted in reality and a few wander in both worlds and are filled with wonder witnessing the inhabitants of those two worlds.

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Post #: 71

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:11:54 AM

sublizzie

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It's not "tenuous at best" for them. The OP said that he's living it. So, for him, his definition is correct. Just because it is not correct for you does not mean it is not for him too.

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Post #: 72

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:13:56 AM

Aine

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Which is exactly why I said what I said.

Agree to disagree and not throw in all the damned flaming.

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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Post #: 73

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:15:49 AM

sublizzie

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I'm agreeing with you, Aine. All the way.

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Post #: 74

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:21:02 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dartantris

A slave has no rights. They do as they are told. There is no such thing as a slave with limits. At least the last time I checked.

Let me pretend for a moment that you are correct.

A person is not a slave until they have an owner.

Someone looking for a potential master is not a slave, they have all sorts of needs and desires, interests and fear, limits and abilities.

A person who wants to be a slave is not a slave yet. They would do well to take the time to be honest about everything they want and need so they can find the best person they can be a slave to/for.

Applauding this answer!

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Post #: 75

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:21:54 AM

izzybella

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well unless there are a couple of dimensions that I havent encountered yet I think that reality (as in actual reality not the type you just make up in your head, which by definition isnt in fact reality but fantasy) would pretty much mean what is actually real. Now actual slavery does exist in the 21st century in some parts of africa. However consensual slavery is in fact that, CONSENSUAL so by its very nature is a mild oxymoron. In reality real slavery where the 'slave' is completely without rights is nothing more than a mutual construct where each party chooses to believe that they are either giving up all of their rights or taking them away from someone. In REALITY(yes that icky word that nobody likes to hear around here) it is in fact not legally possible to be a slave in any other way than in the consensual sense. Now all you are doing by stating that this person is living their fantasy and believes it, is reinforcing my argument that they are in fact living a fantasy. Is this harmful or abusive? I have no idea. But it still does not take away the fact that it is not reality. Reality is a finite thing, it is not like an opinion or a definition it is a solid concrete thing and unless you wanna start getting into deep philosophy you will have a hard time convincing someone that two actual realities with diametrically opposed suppositions can co exist. Just because this persobn lives by a set of rules of his and his submissives making, it does not make that reality, quite the opposite in fact.

I know that was a mouthful and when i read it back i realised it was a bit confusing. What I mean to say is. Reality is that slavery is a non consensual thing, in the legal sense. Consensual slavery is something created in the context of bdsm for our purposes. This means that it can only be as strong as the people that choose to partake of this activity as it has no legal leg to stand on whatsoever. So for someone to state that they dont like it when someone else states something in a profile which they dont see as being realistic, it is a bit silly when they claim the basis of their lifestyle choice as reality when in todays legal climate it is pretty obvious that it is not.

I was not claiming that they dont live their lifestyle in a way that is true to their own ideals, I was merely showing the hypocrisy of someone who is doing something removed from reality complaining that someone else is doing something which is also unrealistic, a bit like pots and kettles being black in glass houses

< Message edited by izzybella -- 3/5/2007 8:32:18 AM >

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RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:41:41 AM

izzybella

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and to show exactly what I mean in really basic terms. ncontrolyadayada claimed in one of his posts that a slave has no rights other than what their dominant gives them. He stated it, therefore it is reasonable that I use it as an example of his grasp on the reality if the situation. Is what he said reality?? I think not, and I am sure that quite a large number of african americans would agree with me. In reality everyone has basic rights and according to the law of most modern countries those rights cannot legally be taken away. Now in his own pocket of the world he may have come to an arrangement where he and his submissive have mutually agreed that for the purposes of their own life, outside the law of the land that will not matter to them. By doing this does it in fact remove these rights from his submissive?? Not at all, and this is the point I am trying to make, no matter how much a dominant would like to think that he is the sole authority over his submissive, by stating this, he is not stating the real situation but merely a construct which is convenient for his lifestyle.

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RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:53:33 AM

MasterFireMaam

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It's not unfair for the submissive/slave to be choosy. It promotes a healthy relationship if he or she is able to find a Dominant or Master who will meet his/her needs in a way that provides for their psychological wellbeing. If you don't like what they're saying or asking for, they're not a match. Simply move on.

Master Fire

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Post #: 78

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:55:48 AM

puella

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Yeah ... where the hell is benji?

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere benji!! Come, boy! (ooh... that could be misinterpreted!)

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Post #: 79

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 8:55:48 AM

izzybella