Just a comment

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Just a comment

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Just a comment

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Just a comment - 3/5/2007 4:59:41 AM

FORCEFULL11229

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline

As a Lifestyle Dom in the life for over 25 years, it still amazes me to read the various ads from females who claim that they are slaves, but yet in thier ads they dictate what they will and wont do. How they expect the "Master" to behave.
Funny, I always thought a slave does as the Master wishes, not the other way around. I also understand that the Master always has the slaves welfare at heart, making sure that no harm befalls her.

Post #: 1

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:02:27 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FORCEFULL11229

As a Lifestyle Dom in the life for over 25 years, it still amazes me to read the various ads from females who claim that they are slaves, but yet in thier ads they dictate what they will and wont do. How they expect the "Master" to behave.
Funny, I always thought a slave does as the Master wishes, not the other way around. I also understand that the Master always has the slaves welfare at heart, making sure that no harm befalls her.

It's a nice ideal but it doesn't always happen. Abuse happens in d/s. To think otherwise is to fool yourself.

As for the other thing - some people think slaves are allowed to have hard limits. Others don't. Both groups include both masters and slaves. So they aren't your cup of tea. Big deal.

Edited because it sent before I was done.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/5/2007 5:03:27 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 2

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:12:29 AM

NControlofU

Posts: 204
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FORCEFULL11229

As a Lifestyle Dom in the life for over 25 years, it still amazes me to read the various ads from females who claim that they are slaves, but yet in thier ads they dictate what they will and wont do. How they expect the "Master" to behave.
Funny, I always thought a slave does as the Master wishes, not the other way around. I also understand that the Master always has the slaves welfare at heart, making sure that no harm befalls her.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. When I read some profile that says she is a "TPE slave" and then says, she's not bi and will only submit to X,Y & Z but not to P, Q or R, I have to wonder just what it is that she means by the word "slave" and what does she think TPE stands for, anyway. I know that these "slaves" are not what I consider to be a slave and after I chuckle I just move on to the next ad.

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 3

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:17:22 AM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

lotta these subs aren't subs...they jus confused

(in reply to NControlofU)

Post #: 4

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:18:44 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

Hello. =)

This reminds me of a website that I discovered before joining CM. It was for real life "slave owners" and their property. The site had a huge page detailing defining "real" slavery, and even gave a list as to what a slave wasn't "entitled" too. The list included love, respect, a few others. Not to sound judgemental, but some of the information in it was a bit extreme for me. But like Aquatic said, it just wasn't my cup of java.

Cheers,
Stella

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 5

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:28:30 AM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

I said the same thing once. And probably will say it again, cause on the present profile, which is inactive, still doesnt make any demands either.
BUT I do know there is a fine line between a dom/master caring for his sub and how she feels cared for.
In nearly 2 yrs I might have received only 6 emails amonth form him, he refused to have me, no matter how obedient I was and saw him only once. I pimped for him, out of obedience and id everything he toldme todo which was less and less by way of relationship and more and more by way of sexual kink.
I was emotionally abused and felt if I was good enough, he would have me. One day I woke up, banging my head on the wall was hurting too damned much.
He said he WAS taking care of me.
Now I make my hard limits relationship orientated. Someone found me, on another site, and couldnt believe I was treated the way I was.
I think he wants to torture the other on my behalf.
But you are right, too many "laws of the land" doesnt make for someone who seems appealling either.

< Message edited by myobedience -- 3/5/2007 5:30:13 AM >

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 6

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:37:13 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

When slave/submissive type is first looking to get to know someone their limits often serve to protect them because they do not know you yet. They have no clue if you can be trusted. I do not blame them for having a lot of limits. I had a lot of them too. Even if I preferred to call myself a slave instead of a submissive I would have had a lot of limits going into a relationship. There is no soft limits list here, perhaps if there were you would see a lot of hard limits become soft ones.

In my opinion a slave must choose her dominant one wisely, and make sure that his limits match her own... it is the match that often breeds the success. I think it is wise to know what one feels comfortable with and what they do not, and then they can find the master that is like them and does not wish to do most of what the slave is not sure about...

Slavery is not about being a marytr, it is about being who a person is and finding the complimentary for that.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 3/5/2007 5:42:02 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 7

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:39:12 AM

nissa

Posts: 125
Joined: 2/28/2007
From: Carson City Nevada
Status: offline

Personally, I would think that when first meeting someone, you would like to know what they presently consider to be limits. Many list these as a guideline as to where they presently are in their life; I fail to see how that makes them less than what you perceive to be 'slavelike'. I had a friend tell me once that when first meeting someone, a listing of 'no limits and I will do whatever you wish' is a red flag for him. It gave him nothing to work towards; no goals to achieve with the girl.

Everyone, when first meeting someone, has limits of what they will and will not do; whether they be physical limits, emotional, or psychological. To think, believe, or wish otherwise is asking for the impossible.

_____________________________

nissa

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 8

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:41:15 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FORCEFULL11229

As a Lifestyle Dom in the life for over 25 years, it still amazes me to read the various ads from females who claim that they are slaves, but yet in thier ads they dictate what they will and wont do. How they expect the "Master" to behave.
Funny, I always thought a slave does as the Master wishes, not the other way around. I also understand that the Master always has the slaves welfare at heart, making sure that no harm befalls her.

Before you are in a Ds relationship with anyone why would you do anything a so-called master wants?

The point of looking for partner is to find one; if you want a successful and fulfilling relationship you better look for someone who is on the same page as you about what your life will be and should be like.

How you get that if not by being honest and upfront about what you desires and need?

If you think that someon's profile isn't what you'd want from a submissive, guess what? That is a clear sign they aren't a good match for you.

It means nothing more than that.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 9

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:41:22 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Slavery is not about being a marytr, it is about being who a person is and finding the complimentary for that.

Now that is putting it beautifully. I just may have to steal that in the future.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 5:45:41 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

I am going to chime in on this and get a bit more personal than I am normally comfortable with.

I think you need to be very careful about dehumanizing a person. A slave is a person, remember that. Always remember that. And dealing with them as a thing, without regard or care for the repercussions of your actions and behaviors upon them, even though the yearn to please you, is nothing short of sociopathic.

I never called myself a slave until I was owned in a TPE. Previous to that, I had limits, I had things I thought would be damaging to me, the person. I surrendered my control of those boundaries when I entered into a very profound relationship. I surrendered myself and control of the things which I knew kept me healthy.

I served his pleasure and took great joy in that aspect of the relationship. But there is a very seductive call to forget that this person who will gladly and eagerly do anything for you is still a human being and not some sort of 'other sort'. There is a very great lure to forget the person.. to forget to value the person who serves you and see and value only the service itself.

There is a very good reason why I had set certain boundaries. I know myself better than any other person, and intrinsically, I knew that the sum total of who I am as a person could be irrevocably damaged by crossing those boundaries, for a host of reasons, and a host of histories.

No Master will ever know the whole of the person who submits to them, it is impossible. It seems foolish to me now, having been damaged by one whom I still love completely and profoundly, that you would look unfavorably upon the things a person who submits to you tells you is dangerous to them.. and then, perhaps even worse, to turn that upon them and question the legitimacy of their nature because of their self knowledge. It would seem to me that that information about the person you choose to enslave would be highly valuable to you.

It would also seem to me, that unless you have no care about the actual person who serves you, and that unless you are just looking for completely pleasing and fulfilling service without the petty annoyances of the human soul, boundaries and danger zones would be considered legitimate and important.

< Message edited by puella -- 3/5/2007 5:49:49 AM >

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 11

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:04:58 AM

Dartantris

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/31/2006
Status: offline

A slave has no rights. They do as they are told. There is no such thing as a slave with limits. At least the last time I checked.

Comments regarding abuse and finding your compliment are irrelevant to the question. You can have abuse in any type of relationship and it just isn't relavent to being in a Master/slave relationship. If a slave is being abused, do they stay in the relationship if they can set some hard limits? Ridiculous. Does setting limits allow you to find the perfect match? Of course not. We're talking about the widely accepted definition of a Master and slave relationship and slaves who idenitify them as such but include information in their profile that is not consistant with the widely held understanding of these relationships.

I'm not interested in a slave's limits. I don't lay out a plan with defined rules when I go into a relationship. I don't expect or condone a slave taking on a Master before the relationship has developed to the point where a slave has the information they need to have confidence in their decision. And that is entirely subjective and often unique to the relationship between the two people involved.

Obviously, anyone can define anything in any manner they choose. That doesn't make it valid or accurate. If there is a widely held definition of a Master and a slave relationship, then that is how it's understood in the community. That's how communication works. If everyone defined words differently, it would make communicating a little challenging. If you believe otherwise about Master and slave relationship definition, you are the exception not the new widely held definition. Any group is free to make up their own rules but they don't have the authority to replace the widely accepted and established definition and should come up with a term other than Master and slave to describe their relationship.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 12

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:15:54 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dartantris

A slave has no rights. They do as they are told. There is no such thing as a slave with limits. At least the last time I checked.

Comments regarding abuse and finding your compliment are irrelevant to the question. You can have abuse in any type of relationship and it just isn't relavent to being in a Master/slave relationship. If a slave is being abused, do they stay in the relationship if they can set some hard limits? Ridiculous. Does setting limits allow you to find the perfect match? Of course not. We're talking about the widely accepted definition of a Master and slave relationship and slaves who idenitify them as such but include information in their profile that is not consistant with the widely held understanding of these relationships.

I'm not interested in a slave's limits. I don't lay out a plan with defined rules when I go into a relationship. I don't expect or condone a slave taking on a Master before the relationship has developed to the point where a slave has the information they need to have confidence in their decision. And that is entirely subjective and often unique to the relationship between the two people involved.

Obviously, anyone can define anything in any manner they choose. That doesn't make it valid or accurate. If there is a widely held definition of a Master and a slave relationship, then that is how it's understood in the community. That's how communication works. If everyone defined words differently, it would make communicating a little challenging. If you believe otherwise about Master and slave relationship definition, you are the exception not the new widely held definition. Any group is free to make up their own rules but they don't have the authority to replace the widely accepted and established definition and should come up with a term other than Master and slave to describe their relationship.

Does a slave have the right to defend her life? Her child's life? Does she have the right to leave an abusive relationship? What if your daughter agreed to be a slave and then the relationship turned sour and actual abuse began? Does she still have to stay? If a slave has no rights then she can't leave after all.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dartantris)

Post #: 13

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:22:22 AM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

FORCEFULL11229
Did you see this post??
http://www.collarchat.com/m_845474/tm.htm
As a slave I made the choice to give total power exchange to my master, and with that I thought came the responsibility for my master to look out for my needs.
Yesterday evening this girl was unable to finish all her given tasks, and my master restrained me in a hogtied like position, which was fine, then left me there for the evening and went out.
I had no problem with the punishment aside the saftey aspects, for example what if there had been a fire?
I only ask this as he had left candles out everywhere not to mention an unsupervised large bird which could of flown into them!
When he returned I asked him and he simply told me not to ask questions, I trust my master as he is the one I serve but this girl is still confused so she thought she would ask the masters here as some of you may have experience.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Maybe you might want to go there and help her answer her question. You have 25 yrs expereince.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 14

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:28:18 AM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

Dartantris

I can be a strong willed woman. but I am INTELLIGENT and I would NEVER consent to no limits so you could emotionally abuse me, which I believe is MORE insidious than physical sadism.
I was a "slave" once, tis what he called me. I died in that relationship.
So if you want someone with no self esteem, no self confidence and you want to tell her when to pee or never shed a tear again... its YOUR BUSINESS, not mine
It takes strength to submit, not no limits.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to Dartantris)

Post #: 15

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:30:12 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience

FORCEFULL11229
Did you see this post??
http://www.collarchat.com/m_845474/tm.htm

*snipped for length*

Maybe you might want to go there and help her answer her question. You have 25 yrs expereince.

Is it wrong that this made me giggle a little?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to myobedience)

Post #: 16

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:31:24 AM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

So, what i'm getting from your post is that you think slaves aren't allowed to have standards. Just because we identify ourselves as slaves?

I think what you're forgetting is that we're human first, then slaves. We're allowed to have likes and dislikes, and that includes the 'perfect' partner.

Being a slave doesn't make us any less of a person, nor does it diminish our ability to choose that one person whom we think would be perfect for us.

I'm a fairly new slave, and of course i'm going to have limits. I need to look out for myself first when selecting that person who will compliment me. I'm not going to settle, when there's a chance the relationshp can end up being harmful to me because i didn't lay out my limits; because i'm not 'allowed'.

_____________________________

He who laughs last didn't get the joke

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 17

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:34:28 AM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

Thank you puella, you said it so much better than i.
Was gonna remove my comment and say refer to yours, but the edit button is gone
I am going to borrow one of your lines and use it in my other blog.
Is there any reason I cannot?
Thanks

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 18

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:35:43 AM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience

FORCEFULL11229
Did you see this post??
http://www.collarchat.com/m_845474/tm.htm

*snipped for length*

Maybe you might want to go there and help her answer her question. You have 25 yrs expereince.

Is it wrong that this made me giggle a little?

hell NO!

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 19

RE: Just a comment - 3/5/2007 6:44:17 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

Enjoy the amazement that you feel when you read the profiles from slaves that I imagine are very unsuitable for you and think of the exhilaration you will feel when you read the profile of a slave that meshes with what you are seeking. While a slave is not with a master I am pretty sure that they are allowed to retain the right of free will and free thought. The slave profiles you have been reading are simply not your type, thats ok, it doesn't make them any less valid, it is just not a match...smiles.

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to FORCEFULL11229)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Just a comment

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.609