quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

I don't have the time or energy to write page long posts usually, but I will say this.
Many people that post here tend to be negative and mean spirited.
They are looking for anything or anyone they can tease, taunt, ridicule, belittle or put down.
I don't see any other way of putting it.  Many of these people have hundreds and thousands
of posts on here.  I believe this is a form of enjoyment for them.
Often, a person will ask an innocent question, and then will be pounced on for being stupid,
fake, naive, etc.

quote:

MsCameron

This is a discussion list, not a help line.

I've been here since the beginning of this list, in fact 2 months after it started although I was under a different profile then.
It's no different now then it was then with the exception of more people. It's also no different then any other list I've been on.

When you put a post out, you will get many different opinions. You can't have control what is posted back and really, you have to take everything with a grain of salt. In the grand scheme of thing, why do you care? If it's going to change your life or make you so upset, perhaps you need to address why.

Some people are blunt and will not fall into the "oh, poor you camp" or the " you're a star camp". I happen to be one of those and I suspect it's from a hell of a lot of experience. Nor do I think people are out to be mean.. but I do think there are those that call it as they see it.

It seems to me you live your life and your dramas here. My dear, you have almost 3700 posts in just over a year. Why not get out to  munch and find like minded people? Even though this list is a bdsm list, that does not mean everyone is the same or even close to it. The only common thread here is kink to one degree or another and those degrees are vastly different.

As for this post being somewhat for the newbies? No, I don't think so. But that's just my opinion :)

MC

quote:

VeryMercurial
It always amuses me when people think a new name is a new poster or new to CM.
I have been here over 3 years.  It is so amusing when I must be validated by the lifers
on the amount of posts I have written.  As if people can't change screen names.

quote:

MsCameron

Excuse me? I wasn't responding to you or your posts. I was responding to the OP.

MC

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Well, I agree that everone has a bona-fide "right" to post. That really wasn't my point. I guess my point is that it's prefectly obvious to me that some people have no intention of helping anyone, and they make that perfectly clear with the mean-spitiedness of their responses. To actually try to veil this under the cloak of "help" is ludicrous.

At least call it what it is - your personal entertainment and need to feed your ego. A need to feel bigger at someone else's expense. That's "Domly?" No - that's immaturity, IMO.  Who needs or wants, a Dominant like that? Not me, that's for sure.

I am not talking about objective opinion that may have a difference of opinion re: What the poster has stated, or one that takes a second look at what has been said and says: "Well, maybe this is what actually happened and you just didn't think about it this way" or "Hey, this is another view"...etc. I mean a different opinion expressed with some degree of reasonableness. I see that, I can see both sides of an issue, and I realize there are folks out there with more experience than I've got. Othe rpeople should probably be able tol see that, too.

That is NOT what I am referring to here.

As for the folks who just never see a need to post about a problem, or see any of that as "attention-seeking" Wow. Ever occur that some folks really do have real problems? And what would you be reading about if some didn't? The jokes on the "Humor" section, maybe instead? Because frankly these forums, and all the tthreads on them, are way over 60% (maybe 75%) concerned with someone's "problems" that they apparently believe they need to discuss.

**I say tommorrow then- we all do a little experiment. No problems allowed. Anymore. Ever. That means not you too, btw - if you ever have them, that is. Let's see how that goes. What do you say? Starting at say, 6am tommorrow? No problems allowed on the CM message boards. No more problems. Ever. Just happy stuff. The kind everyone needs  help with.   

I really do realize there are people out ther who are just mean, and full of shit. I don't listen to them any more. At all. I used to try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I am done with all of that. For good. Forever.

These same folks are supposedly teaching their submissives things like "how to be respectful" and some submssives are claiming to be "respectful people" and are not able to exhibit, sometimes, basic courtesy toward other folks. What a joke. Give me a break. I wouldn't let someone like that near me. 

I think some are juust plain dysfunctional, and don't know it, or won't admit it. I'm not "plying along" to save their pride anynore. They are certainly not willing to extend me the same courtesy. I will just now say something like: "Well, frankly I  just really think you're a Bitch. make that with a capital B" - and wait for the supposed recriminatory and hypocritical comments to follow. Should be interesting.

Oh darn. I forgot. I can't. I don't wanna waste my time.

Guess my main point here is - they may think they are fooling someone into thinking they know more, see more, etc. I say being courteous and helpful is mostly a sign of strength. Not the other way around.

I also prefer to be around people who basically function like adults. I am not changing my opinion. I just see a lot of crap sometimes, that I think the world could do without. Justify it however anyone wants.

Despite what anyone thinks, I have no huge  emotional investment in the outcome. I have a very stong sense of self-identity, and don't care much what anyone thinks if I make a thread. Disagree? Fine. Have a differing opinon? That's fine too.

I see too much vindictive crap that's justified as "advice" in disguise though. It is pretty transparent, sometimes. And it's not helping the person probably, that it is being claimed it is supposed to be helping.

Bottom Line: This "Method" of supposed "Help" does not really work, IMO. Poeple already know this, too. So if someone's gonna do that shit - they shouldn't really try to disguise it that way. call it entertainment instead. Because that's what it is.

- Susan  

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

While I see you point very clearly and as you state yourself, most people appear supportive and objective......if ONE *nasty* person can scare you off forever, newbie or not,  there's likely a LOT more going on for you, than a bit of rejection from an anonymous poster.

My children belong to forums; they deal with *nasty* people, slights and some general meaness.

'Though I think, ideally, every poster will be weighing up their words to the n'th degree........ it's not going to happen universally and bemoaning that fact will not alter it anymore than it will alter people, in general.

agirl

Edited to add....I once belonged to a community and chatroom that was forever curtailing people's opinions and views, and also their experiences because of the *poor newbies*. Frankly, I think anyone new to something is better off seeing things exactly how they are, not some watered down, filtered version.