SusanofO
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Joined: 12/19/2005
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When did I call someone a bitch? Oh that "Submissive" thread. Well. I didn't call her a bitch. I got assertive, which in that instance, is exactly what was called for, IMO. If somebody is gonna say things like: "You're a perpetual vicitim" and that kind of thing, when they've seen maybe 3 or 4 thread topics on a person (adn she herself had seen one threead, no others, ever)and otherwise know not much at all about 'em, it's a fair exchange, IMO. In that instance, she got what she dished out, which was unfair to begin with. Like I said: I am done with people like this.
I mean, if I felt that way about what someone had said, about as far as I would go is saying something like: "Gee, maybe in this instance, it would have been more effective for you to consider doing X. And next time, you probably will", or somethig like that. I'm the kind of person who just sort of relates, anyway, and says: "Oh yeah, something similar happened to me once..""I dunno, maybe it's just a personality difference.
It always kind of strikes me as dime-store psychology stuff. It's just amatuer, unless you know someone fairly well. And I would have given that person the benefit of the doubt - but since she chose to attack my very charachter, she can hardly expect me to remain silent. I was ticked off, and people can believe whatever they want, but it was pretty easy to say back, and think to myself:
Gosh, this person is calling me a "perpetual victim". It's laughable. She's read one thread I've ever written (not to mention no other posts), and, compared to that, I've been: Alive for 47 years. Kind of a contrast, as far as info. on which to stake a presumption. She has no basis for comparison (except in her own mind, maybe). I would have been willing to see it as well-intentioned - but it was pretty nastily phrased, to boot. Which left me pretty much little room to guess what her motives were.
How exactly is one supposed to "prove" they are not somethig like a "perpetual victim"? Hmmm. I doesn't take a genius to see that it was a set-up, in almost every sense of the word. She wanted to fight with someone, pure and simple.
If someone is going to go out of their way to be nasty, I see no reason to not to try to defend myself (although I admit it would probably be smarter, in most instances to just walk away). I think it is one-sided for someone to believe that someone who feels attacked isn't going to do this (however, it still might be smarter to walk away, although, not always. I see this stuff as situational).
I figured showing might be better than tellin' in that instance, just how stupid (as far as practical consequences) a remark like that actually is. I've had it with folks like this. It was a completely presumptious remark. Of course she has a right to make it. No doubt about it.
Because of course, on a forum thread, about the only way some one is going to be able to "prove" they are not something like a "perpetual victim" would be to come back in a really hard-nosed way. As in: Wanna see a perpetual victim? I'll show you a perpetual victim, etc.
She said some sensible things in that post (I remember it), which I did mention in a complimentary manner. It was pretty well-phrased,etc. But it was also a very presumptious thingn for anyone to say (IMO) - about anyone. Plus, since it was my character she was attemtpting to assassinate, I felt a right to defend myself.
Bottom line: Folks like this give me a headache I can live without. Do I care what they think? No. Can they still be a pain? Yeah. They can. Are thay always gonna exist? Probably.
- Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 3/12/2007 11:07:35 AM >
_____________________________
"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: Happy Experiences vs. Problems vs. "Questions&... - 
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