I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid!

I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (Full Version)

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FukinTroll -> I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 9:54:27 PM)
Hi! I am new to the site and been trying to get laid for three whole days. I must say the site is very disappointing and I want my fuk'n money back. Before I get my refund what exactly can I do to get some action around here? Pleaze for the love of all things smutty and immoral tell me!!!!

SweetSarijane -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 9:59:19 PM)
Well, first of all to give you the best info possible we'll need to know the size of your package and how talented you are with it and your tongue and fingers. In detail please[;)].

FukinTroll -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:02:37 PM)
Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand.

domiguy -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:08:06 PM)
My GrandDomi always said, "Go ugly early."

litleone8620 -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:08:30 PM)
omfg. That is hilarious.

GrizzlyBear -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:10:13 PM)
Only one tongue? Well there's your problem. Maybe if you split it down the middle...

BBBTBW -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:11:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand. OMG he really is a TROLL, non FUCKIN, but a troll none the less......he he [:D]

FukinTroll -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:13:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GrizzlyBear Only one tongue? Well there's your problem. Maybe if you split it down the middle... I was thinking thirds.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:14:46 PM)
Your problem is hat you have been deprived for an entire 3 days. It is starting to cloud your mind. My suggestion, go look at some of the pictures, make love to Rosie Palmer and all 6 (in your case) of her sisters, and then try again. Dont forget to send out cock shots with ALL your initial emails, and send most of them to submissive women who have no interest in Domming you, or to Dommes who will never submit to you... depending on which side you plan on playing to get laid at that moment. DV

mythi -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:17:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GrizzlyBear Only one tongue? Well there's your problem. Maybe if you split it down the middle... Or learned some tricks with your toes? After trimming them of course...eesh! Troll hygiene! [:'(]

FukinTroll -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:20:39 PM)
I alredy did that DV. That s why I want my fuk'n money back. You know Mod 11 says she wouldnt do-me with your strapon. WTF??? And what is all this Gun Play that Mod 1 keeps talking about? Do you really need to bring a shovel for it, and why is it so far out in the country?

juliaoceania -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:25:50 PM)
What the ladies really like is when you send them pictures of your penis, tell them to "kneel bitch" and ask them when they are available to come suck you off at the local Motel 6... that will work for sure

FukinTroll -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:27:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania What the ladies really like is when you send them pictures of your penis, tell them to "kneel bitch" and ask them when they are available to come suck you off at the local Motel 6... that will work for sure Im in room 13, see you soon.

juliaoceania -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:28:54 PM)
There usually are no room 13s because stuperstitous... I mean superstitious people avoid things marked "13"... so you must be a faker

DiurnalVampire -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:30:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll You know Mod 11 says she wouldnt do-me with your strapon. WTF??? Well of course not, your not ready for anything that big if youve gone without for 3 days. You have to ease into the big guns... quote: And what is all this Gun Play that Mod 1 keeps talking about? Do you really need to bring a shovel for it, and why is it so far out in the country? Its more sporting if you have farther to run. Dont worry, Mod1 is a trained professional and has plenty of mounted subbie heads on their wall to prove it. Maybe your problem is that your cock shots are blurry. Try movie clips, doing something exotic. Maybe, oh, wanking with chocolate sauce. Yeah, no woman can resist chocolate, you know. DV

SilverShadows -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:30:35 PM)
Do we have a betting pool on how long this thread will run too? And are we going to serve tea and crumpets while we listen to Troll's whining?

SilverShadows -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:32:30 PM)
Julia you forgot the invitation needs to come with a slave contract demanding they turn over all their assets on the spot. Other wise it sounds like a charming invitation. All I get is guys who want to "crawl into my darkness."

GrizzlyBear -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:33:39 PM)
Well, if two is better than one, then three is better than two, yes? Do send us a before, during, and after set of pics. We all want to see!

FukinTroll -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:38:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania There usually are no room 13s because stuperstitous... I mean superstitious people avoid things marked "13"... so you must be a faker Okay, ignore the lil 12 on the door. Just look at the big red 13 in spraypaint.

FukinTroll -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/13/2007 10:40:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire Well of course not, your not ready for anything that big if youve gone without for 3 days. You have to ease into the big guns... Pffftttttt.... I have been in the lifestyle for 423 years. Started back in Cairo and just been an evil fuk'er after each incarnation.

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