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Vendaval -> RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! (3/14/2007 2:29:16 AM)
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Make sure you create a form letter than you send out to everyone; regardless of interest, orientation or gender. Have nothing on your profile. Talk about anal sex and cannibalism endlessly. Demandthat anyone who talks to you go naked on live web cam and send you their credit card numbers, home addresses and all other data. When you are talking on web-cam, be naked and fondling yourself, have your desktop littered with ashtrays and old beer cans and fast food wrappers. Burp, fart and scratch your balls without
apology while on web cam.
If some desperate souls agree to meet with you in person, tell them to show up in public without wearing
a bra or underwear or shoes. Arrive at the meeting place barefoot, unshowered, unshaven and wearing nothing but a pair of old overalls with a back pocket torn off and some of your butt showing. As for the meeting place, Wal-Mart or McDonalds will do, or a deserted parking lot late at night. Tell them not to let anyone know where they are going and that they cannot bring their cell phone.
Steal a car and stuff the driver in the trunk on your way to the meeting place. That way you can have sex in the back seat of the car while the driver drives you both to the nearest pay by the hour flea and roach infested hotel. Make sure Norman is on duty and that his Mother is around for cheery company afterwards.
Yours in flagrant delicato,
Devil Domme [sm=trident.gif]
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