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RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:16:53 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		cat, I reckon this pooch needs cat.

fergus

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:18:08 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

cat, I reckon this pooch needs cat.

fergus


you need a pussy
cat?

(in reply to fergus)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:20:48 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		doesn't everyone?

fergus

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:23:47 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

doesn't everyone?

fergus


I don't know

(in reply to fergus)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:26:41 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I see that my hint went unheeded. 

To the OP, I hope that the few replies that you got that were actually on topic were helpful to you in some way. 

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:28:22 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Well alright then, if not cat, then a full roast turkey with gravy and stuffing! :D

(okay, I know it is out of season for this)

fergus

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:31:04 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

Well alright then, if not cat, then a full roast turkey with gravy and stuffing! :D

(okay, I know it is out of season for this)

fergus


lol

eat up

(in reply to fergus)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:32:56 PM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		lol, Didn't they tell you in Domme posting 101 not to feed the trolls?

fergus

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:36:01 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		Second chances haven't worked out for me...as in giving them.  Although, I'd really have to consider the circumstances things ended in the first place.  If, as has been mentioned, it was for something like relocation issues, I might consider it (depending on my own situation at the time).  If there were problems with the (past) relationship, chances are I wouldn't be willing to try it again...not romantically, at least.  Friendships are always valuable, though, so in that sense, I might be open to a second chance at friendship.

Edited to add:  fergus, Dolly--it'd be really great if the two of you took the personal notes to the other side. 


< Message edited by valeca -- 3/15/2007 7:37:52 PM >

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to fergus)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:38:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		In most cases, I would have to say that I don't.  If the offense was enough for things to end once, that's usually enough for Me.  As the saying goes, fool Me once, shame on Me..... fool Me twice, and you no longer exisit  *laughs*.

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 7:43:55 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bowandserve
Have you taken back a sub? Was it worth it? Did work out in the end?

That depends on why we split in the first place. If they were dismissed for misbehavior or becasue we had no chemistry, then no.
If there was a nother reason we split, like a real life hurdle that was getting inthe way of our pursuing our relationship, or an ilness or sometiems just their needing to step back and find themselves, then yes.
Angel and I split for a while.  He had to step out of the lifestyle and find himself, be sure it was for him.  He came back to me, as I had thought he would, and I did take him back when he asked.  So far, we are stil working out well.
I have had other second trys that have been disasters, which is why I will only consider it in certain circumstances anymore.
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 9:04:26 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bowandserve

There's been some subs in the past that had potential and it ended. Perhaps I dismissed too easily or was too demanding up front and they got overwhelmed.

I'm still in touch with a couple and think about trying them again. Goes against my dom side to ever forgive and forget.

Have you taken back a sub? Was it worth it? Did work out in the end?


I have talked to SO many subs that have had potential during my almost 3 years on CM.   Many I did dimiss too easily or for
very petty reasons.
I would consider giving some a second chance if I were you, if what happened was a small mistake.
Just be careful.  I am currently talking to a submissive that approached me last summer and I thought we had no chance.
We are now taking the time to get to know each other and that is what is necessary for any successful relationship,
whether it is someone from the past or someone "new".
Good luck!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 9:25:26 PM   
xALadyX


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/14/2004
Status: offline 		 Normally if we parted ways there was a good reason

If a sub needs to step back . I do not consider that splitting up
Its just giving them space. Normally he comes back
Those who are with me have been mine for years.
There were times they needed to step away from me
but always kept in touch so not to break the bond completely

If I flat out release him and he serves another then
attempts to come back to me .Isnt going to happen
No way. After a time yes we can be friends but
the commitment , trust issue would of been broken .
Not something I can see rebuilding

I was happy to come across this post.
To hear what others have to say about this
issue , just gave me
more will power to stick to my guns and not
allow a certain person back in my life.

Love the Domme Sisterhood   

ALady





(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: second chances? - 3/15/2007 10:22:00 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Oh goodness, I took one sub back not once but ....ooo...at least 10 times!  Love and lust do some stupid things to our brains, especially when it is hard to find someone with compatible kinks!

It did not work out. 

Some people might be able to change, but why not just move on looking forwards, not backwards




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(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: second chances? - 3/16/2007 8:37:00 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bowandserve

Have you taken back a sub? Was it worth it? Did work out in the end?


Yes. So far. We'll see.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: second chances? - 3/16/2007 10:44:38 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bowandserve

There's been some subs in the past that had potential and it ended. Perhaps I dismissed too easily or was too demanding up front and they got overwhelmed.

I'm still in touch with a couple and think about trying them again. Goes against my dom side to ever forgive and forget.

Have you taken back a sub? Was it worth it? Did work out in the end?


The only sub I would consider taking back would be those that I parted with because of a job requirement (one of us had to move). If they moved where I was and we got to know each other again I might be open to it but after years I think most people just don't have as much in common any more.

It's a romantic notion but I try to keep my romance for those with me.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: second chances? - 3/16/2007 12:05:16 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bowandserve
Have you taken back a sub? Was it worth it? Did work out in the end?


In my case, I took subs back twice after they had been released, and no, it was not worth it either time.
 
In the first case, the individual was a decent, though not exemplary, sub for 2 1/2 years.  He complied with everything I requested, but didn't go above or beyond the call of duty.  Then, he committed what I considered an outrageous offense that resulted in his release.  I blocked him from calling and e-mailing me.  After a month or so, he created another screen name and wrote a touching letter telling me how sorry he was and begging me to reconsider.  I agreed to talk on the phone with him and agreed to give him another chance, with the understanding that he was "on probation" for a few months until my confidence in him was restored.  Well, he committed a minor offense during the probation period, and was out for good.  In my opinion, he should have been on pins and needles trying to please me and regain my confidence, but he wasn't. 
 
The second individual was a very sincere and caring person and a good submissive.  He initially asked for release because he was a deeply religious person and his involvement in the lifestyle was causing him a great deal of guilt.  His father was a Southern Baptist minister and he was very conflicted.  I granted him release.  Then, about a year later, he came back to me, claiming that he had worked out all the issues and guilt and was ready to recommit himself to me.  He seemed very earnest and all was well and good for about a year.  Then, the same feelings resurfaced in him and he again asked for release.  He told me he felt that what he was doing was very, very wrong, repented for it, then broke the news to me that he could not continue in the lifestyle.  I granted him release again. 
 
Nonetheless, I never say never.  Under the right circumstances I might take a submisive back, but it would be highly unlikely.  The underlying problem that caused the relationship not to succeed in the first place would have to be completely addressed.  I have heard of divorced couples who got back together and went on to have successful marriages, so it is not impossible that a Mistress and her sub could reunite and have a successful relationship.  I just don't think it's all that likely. 
 
By the way, if either of the two mentioned above asked for a third chance, the answer would be a resounding NO.
 
Lady Topaz


(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: second chances? - 3/16/2007 1:12:50 PM   
shamedmale


Posts: 135
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		no the great eamonn dev said fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me
eamonn de valera
great Irish patriot
is mise le meas
shamed

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: second chances? - 3/16/2007 1:56:23 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverShadows

I have never had any luck with second chances and have had bad experiences. If the error was significant enough to drop them in the first place they probably should have know better.  $0.02


My experience as well. Very very rarely is someone who wasn't worth a first look worth a second, especially if you had "one of those feelings" that you couldn't quite put your finger on. Give them another chance and they'll show you just where that finger goes.........

(in reply to SilverShadows)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: second chances? - 3/16/2007 2:57:58 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bowandserve
Have you taken back a sub? Was it worth it? Did work out in the end?
Being a versatile person, I believe that people can change, and do believe in second chances, but only depending on what caused the split in the first place...  Some things are unforgivable, or even if forgivable for one's sanity, not wise to return to that place.

I have given second chances, and usually it leads to a deeper friendship; it has never successfully moved forward to anything wonderful as we/I had originally or subsequently hoped for...   So, my experience thus far would indicate you should cut your losses and move on...   I did say people are capable of learning and changing, so you'll have to take your chances as long as you will lose nothing that you cannot afford to lose.    M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 40
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