RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar???

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:05:32 AM

viperess

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Greetings,
You are right Master Troll the debate has been done before...and no i did not mean it as the WWII gays.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:07:05 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

Shouldn't you have figured that out BEFORE the collar was placed?

Perhaps at the time she accepted his collar he wasn't a nuisance.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:07:12 AM

FukinTroll

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From: Under a bridge
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight62

I just felt it was better for me to depart from the relationship. He still tells me his business schedule, sometimes I have to wonder why he tells me his coming and goings.

Ever see Brokedown palace?

It is a similar confidence that the bad guy in that movie used.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:10:49 AM

slaveish

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To the OP

He can thump his chest until he defibrilates himself but he can't stop you from decollaring yourself. You are perfectly capable of rational thought and independent action. This ain't Monopoly and I don't recall seeing a set of line by line rules that sends you to BDSM jail if you don't "play" right.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:11:48 AM

candleTC

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Joined: 5/8/2006
From: Springfield, Il
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quote:

Perhaps at the time she accepted his collar he wasn't a nuisance.

Perhaps, she needs to practice better judgement next time around. Good judgement is a desired quality of sub/slave?? Am i correct?

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:14:46 AM

candleTC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

This ain't Monopoly and I don't recall seeing a set of line by line rules that sends you to BDSM jail if you don't "play" right.

Sometimes, this ain't "play" time.. this is real life.. with real commitments... i still stand by.. why didn't she communicate her needs, wants and desires first.

and i am curious as to why she doesn't understand why He still tells her of her comings and goings, but yet won't ask.. according to her, she is "de-collared".. she can ask anything she wants at this point.. if she doesn't like it.. make it end.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:15:30 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

Perhaps, she needs to practice better judgement next time around. Good judgement is a desired quality of sub/slave?? Am i correct?

Yes. Good judgement is a desired quality in any person, regardless of orientation.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:17:09 AM

kittensmailbox

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The sub has the true power, that is why it is called TPE.... Tell you are out of there, once the trust is gone, it is over....

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:17:43 AM

sleazybutterfly

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Being a slave doesn't make any difference, I am not sure where ppl got that being a slave somehow made the collar mean more, or different. I have heard of subs being collared just the same as I am.

I took my Masters collar because we went over and agreed on everything. If someday we don't anymore, I have as much of a right to leave as anyone would (and so does he). I won't ever just walk away easily, but that has nothing to do with being a slave, it has more to do with me commiting to building a life with him and not giving up unless there is a damn good reason.

We don't know the background on how long she waited to take it, or why she even left. I don't think anyone can tell her that she should have thought more, or that she has to beg this guy to leave her alone. He sounds very desperate to hold on to her and and is using the "you can't be released till I release you" crap in order to gain control over her again.

< Message edited by sleazybutterfly -- 3/16/2007 8:18:56 AM >

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:22:04 AM

FukinTroll

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

The sub has the true power, that is why it is called TPE.... Tell you are out of there, once the trust is gone, it is over....

Yup!

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:28:09 AM

Stephann

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I prefer Total Power Exchange relationships. I make a few things clear from the get go:

A slave doesn't possess 'right's' in the relationship; she has expectations, responsibilities, and boundaries. Her 'right' is to beg the collar, beg release from that collar, and revoke consent.

If a sub or slave 'removes' their own collar, to me, that's revoking consent. If the foundation of the relationship is TPE, it stands to reason that she has violated a basic premise of the relationship. Circumstances would be very important (was I lost at sea for six months?) but there's a good chance I'm not going to continue a relationship with her if she makes such a decision without discussing me. It'd be like a man telling his wife he's no longer going to have sex with her, because he's now gay. She can either accept it, and stay, or she can leave.

Stephan

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:29:00 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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You have the right to do so, of course.

However, there are many relationships in which it is accepted that the slave does not have the authority to release themselves. In my prior relationships, I was required to ask permission for it to be over. Gratefully, we mutually decided to end it when that time came.

What would have happened if they had said no? It honestly sickens me to think of it. At this point I believe I would have been miserable for a good long while, and eventually just ended it on my own if things had not seriously changed and very likely never considered myself a slave ever again (as I would have revoked ultimate authority from my owner which aligns with my definition of slave).

And next time you'll know that this is one of the many things to discuss before making a commitment to someone, not after.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:30:08 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox
The sub has the true power, that is why it is called TPE.... Tell you are out of there, once the trust is gone, it is over....

False. Everyone has the "true power" in any relationship. Everyone must work together for the relationship to work, if any ONE person ends it, the relationship is over.

And I don't call it TPE.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:32:14 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

He can thump his chest until he defibrilates himself

Ok...LMAO ...Now, I just love that little phrase there...had to say that

sorry for the hijack, carry on

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:34:10 AM

vield

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In the USA at this time the difference between abuse and BD/SM is consensuality.
Consensuality means all parties involved must knowingly consent to be involved with each other. Consent can be withdrawn by any person at any time.
Once consent is withdrawn, further pushing of the issue is abuse. It may also be sexual assault, depending on the degree of pushing.
Stalking by an ex-partner is not legal no matter what kind of relationship USED to exist.
Yes there are places in the world where ownership is deeper and consent need not be in the picture. There are places where one can legally and openly buy and sell others including children for any purpose. The USA is NOT one of those places.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:38:35 AM

Carmeldelight62

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Some of you are missing the whole concept. First off I am not a slave but a sub, second I did tell what I wanted and what I need. Third my mother taught me that a man will become a pain in the ass sometimes, well my Dom became a bother to me.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:45:27 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight62
Some of you are missing the whole concept. First off I am not a slave but a sub, second I did tell what I wanted and what I need. Third my mother taught me that a man will become a pain in the ass sometimes, well my Dom became a bother to me.

Trust me, we're not missing any concepts. You're just coming off as sounding pissed because someone did something you didn't like. You already have the answer to the question you ask, what more is there?

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:47:13 AM

windchymes

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I'm not sure what you're protesting here, most have overwhelmingly agreed with you. You're a human being, you can do whatever you want or need to do...you don't want to wear his collar, don't. If you have to move on, move on. If he calls you a name, awwwwwwww, wahhhhhhhh, big deal.

There is no BDSM police, no one is going to show up at your door to interrogate you, there are no demerits on your record, no rap sheet, no floodlights on your house, you look the same to the rest of the outside world, and you don't have to wear a red letter on your chest. Unless you want to.

Just move on, enjoy your life, and I hope you find the right partner for you!

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:52:05 AM

NControlofU

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
False. Everyone has the "true power" in any relationship. Everyone must work together for the relationship to work, if any ONE person ends it, the relationship is over.

And I don't call it TPE.

That's why I call it TOC -- Transfer of Control. My slave has not transferred any "power" to me. She transferred CONTROL over her to me.

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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:53:48 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NControlofU
That's why I call it TOC -- Transfer of Control. My slave has not transferred any "power" to me. She transferred CONTROL over her to me.

For me, she still has control over things, otherwise she wouldn't be able to act on any of your orders or be accountable for her behavior. I use "ultimate authority transfer"

But we're all happy, so who the heck really cares? :)

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