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RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/18/2007 2:34:30 PM   
saphiradraca


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/21/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, you have the right to decide to walk away.  BDSM is about being safe, sane, and consensual.  If it's not consensual, then it's not a relationship anymore.  So I'd tell your former Dom exactly what you did.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/26/2007 12:07:40 AM   
DarkmastersRowan


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/25/2007
Status: offline 		Yes.  Yes yes yes!!  There are too many Doms out there who think they actually have the right to control another human being without his or her consent.  This is not true, and where there is not love, there is no relationship, D/s or otherwise.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/26/2007 2:24:10 PM   
wizofos


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline 		I have been away for a while and thought that I would check in and found this thread.
I have had several subs, never had any leave because of a relationship problem, usually family issues or business problems.
1. I would never stop a sub from leaving and always with a good feeling.
2. I tell a sub that they have only 2 decisions that they will make in our relationship.
a. to beg to be collared
b.to tell me that they no longer wish to wear my collar
If they choose option b then it it final and no re-do's.
I also will not collar a sub until they are fully aware of what they are getting into.
I feel that there needs to be a 3-6 month courtship period or getting to know you before taking the plunge.
Submission is voluntary and therefore revokable. Domination of also voluntary and revokable.
Any relationship is in the end a contract betwee 2 parties and part of a legal contract is that there is and exchange of goods or
services. No reason that satisfying someones need to submit is not a service. If a dom does not live up his end of the contract then
the sub has a right to terminate the contract.
Someone said above that after if he is bothering you after you have removed your collar then it is stalking, True.
One other thing, I make the collaring a ceremony between us, the same with uncollaring. The last time that happened it was a very emotional scene for both of us
but she had to move across country to care for an ailing relative.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/26/2007 2:32:38 PM   
texancutie


Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		What is a true slave?  And how is that any better than a regular slave or a submissive?  Or even a bottom for that matter.  

Forgot to type in my answer to the question...lol.  It's a Monday.  I think once you ask for release the magic is long gone anyway. 


< Message edited by texancutie -- 3/26/2007 2:34:05 PM >

(in reply to candleTC)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/27/2007 3:29:38 PM   
lillostangel


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		ok here i go again, i was searching and found this question. i searched this because i am going through something similar. i have spoke to this Mistress who still claims me as Hers. She refuses to take of the collar. i was totally aware of what this collar meant. the problem is it seems as though She didnt. instead of being Her submissive, i am more Her doormat. i care for Her alot but i cannot allow myself to be treated in such a way. now again i was rt for 16 yrs with a Master and im having issues because yes one can uncollar themselves(which this Mistress says otherwise too).but in my heart i know one shouldnt unless there are certain circumstances. it wasnt until almost a year of being collared to Her that She began to change or maybe it was Her true colors comin through, either way i feel stuck even though i have done everything i know i can do. and when One refuses to speak with me and hear my thoughts and feelings it makes things worse for all involved. i guess its more the respect aspect that i feel so badly about. even though She refused i feel aweful cause i have walked away. but i also know that this was the right decision for me.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/27/2007 4:05:05 PM   
adanaydi


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline 		this one agrees with some of the things mentioned and others, they are foriegn ideas to her...

a collar to her is a sacred binding contract, it represents the "life" one has offered to a Master, that he has accepted and allowed her to have back to live. By begging for that collar you are turning over your whole welfare to the one who has his boot on your neck... it's permanant. once in steel, the Master can do anything to or with you, including "selling" or "giving" you away to another.

MOST Masters realize that r/t slavery IS voluntary... if a slave is not being fulfilled or abused in a relationship, they can beg release, and one of honor MUST grant it. To do otherwise would be most grievious.

If this one isn't happy in a collar, she usually takes it upon herself that it is her fault somehow, the burden of the world falls on her shoulders to communicate with her Master and beg to know why she isn't pleasing to him any more, or why he has become XXX (cold, distant, cruel, you pick a word.) to her. Recently this one was released because a jealous chain sister had taken a dislike to her, and in order to placate her and make Master's life a little easier, this one begged to go. She still cares for the Master, and doesn't wish to see him hurt by the other chain sister, who threatened to take his children if he did not do what she wished him to do.

who was the real slave? the demander, or the one who begged to be released? your choice. <smiles softly>

the only way this one would beg release from a collar is the most dire circumstances, for she believes things can be worked out... after all, Master and slave had a good open communication before the collar was placed, right?

adanaydi


_____________________________

ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

(in reply to lillostangel)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/27/2007 4:16:51 PM   
lillostangel


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		the problem is when One refuses to communicate. what then? i agree with adanaydi. tis why i feel so bad for walking away. hmm before yes, after no. if One chooses to break down the sub/slave in a negative way, one that is emotionally damaging then what use are they or going to be later?

(in reply to adanaydi)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/27/2007 4:26:43 PM   
adanaydi


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline 		Once you've made the choice to go, this one bets you cried it all out, then looked around and felt the weight lift off your back? If so, it was a right choice, no matter how painful it is at the time.

give yourself time to mourn, a good or bad relationship needs that mourning period, it recharges you to take life by the horns once more and go into with a new outlook!

ada. <smiles>


_____________________________

ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

(in reply to lillostangel)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/27/2007 4:30:05 PM   
lillostangel


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		smiles n nods

(in reply to adanaydi)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/27/2007 10:40:13 PM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Of course.

I can only imagine the situation where a sub does not have the right, being one of non consent.

Its a pretty serious thing, to decollar yourself. Much like taking off your wedding ring. One would hope that you have the strength and support of the person your collared to, to discuss this fully, hopefully, prior to, during, and after.

(in reply to lillostangel)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/28/2007 7:34:41 AM   
childofpain


Posts: 44
Joined: 1/16/2007
Status: offline 		you have the right to uncollar, unless you agreed not to before you took it in the first place. some people change over time and others hide thier BS so well that it takes time to find out. relationships die for all kinds of reasons.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/28/2007 8:13:46 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		she has the right to walk

you are a human being

despite all the claims of no rights

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©
 

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/28/2007 8:24:53 AM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		I do feel that too many throw around a collar like its a piece of life saver candy. To me it is very serious commitment. A lifelong commitment and should be taken seriously. But to answer the OP's question. Yes a submissive has the right to uncollar herself, and leave the relationship. I think perhaps the OP needs to reexamine what a collar means to herself. And before getting collared again, sit down and discuss just what a collar means to the both of you. Make sure you are both on the same page.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/28/2007 10:01:57 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		some consider it running away but when release is begged for and denied.....

and you cant force yourself to stay or be pleasing
and you remove your consent.
and thats it for you ...

self-release........is what you do............

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/28/2007 10:57:26 AM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

This ain't Monopoly and I don't recall seeing a set of line by line rules that sends you to BDSM jail if you don't "play" right.



~ ROFLMAO ~

that is beautiful 

_____________________________

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive twice.

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/28/2007 6:15:08 PM   
Aji


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slutsusan

absolutely.  If the jerk won't respect your wishes, then he is not a Master at all


I second that completely.

(in reply to slutsusan)
Profile   Post #: 96
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