Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar???


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 12:34:13 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight62

No he has not done anything but calls me to ask how was my work day or how is my child coming along???


Did he have a significant relationship with the child? If so he may be trying to provide a father figure. However, if this was not the case, then he may or may not be acting as a stalker. Get an unlisted number.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 12:50:24 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight62
No he has not done anything but calls me to ask how was my work day or how is my child coming along???

Unless you were together for a significant period of time and your child and him had a sincerely intimate bond between them, then just don't pick up the phone.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 1:35:05 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight62

I ask this because my former Dom is nuisance and I told him to find another sub. I do not want him as my Dom/lover any more. He told me that a sub can not uncollar her self and that he makes the choice to let me go.  I told him that I have a mind and that he should find another sub for him self, because I am gone.  Now, he tells me that I am not a real sub.


He should consider himself blessed.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 2:19:45 PM   
Carmeldelight62


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline 		 The Dom lawyer was very smart. The lawyer subpoenaed the D/s website to get her information, so the lawyer had proof. She could not use her word against his. Our IP addresses are tracked. In these days and time the children are pulled if one can prove the sexual life style is diverse. The D/s life not everyone understands and to some people it is not kinky but a person who has a mental problem.  I was reading up on Cesar who got off beating his wife because it brought him sexual pleasure. We are not in the Rome times any more.

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 2:45:34 PM   
Carmeldelight62


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline 		A person must remember sub/slaves will do what ever it takes to please her Sir/Mistress. If we are told to eat out of a dog bowl the sub/slave will get on hands and knees to eat out of the bowl. If the Dom/Mistress say they are going to gang bang you the sub/slave will do what it takes to please the Dom/Mistress. The judge looks at the sub/slave desires, well allow our Doms to put us in a cage if they want for their pleasure, sleep on the floor, tie us up, humiliate us, fisting, or ass play. The judge looks at all of this and wonders if this person is safe to be around her children.

The Dom will get off free because the sub desires. All a Dom will say is yes I did these things too her, but your she wants these things to be done to her, so again the sub is made out to be the bad person.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 2:50:01 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Not all subs or slaves do those things. 

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 2:53:07 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		OF course you have the right to give him back his collar.IF it isn't right  and if you have tried to meet his demands and still remain unhappy then all means move on with your life...bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 3:01:53 PM   
Masstohr


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candleTC

Shouldn't you have figured that out BEFORE the collar was placed??? Maybe i'm to much of a "traditionalist on the kinky side".. however, i feel the same way about marriage...
Shouldn't you KNOW that this relationship is in working order BEFORE you marry them???


I have to agree, but you never know what fuck-tard your gonna run into out there.  If i had a penny for every nutcase Ive met....

I think this topic has raised a question with me...  because of something I am starting to see more and more of... and that is.. these profiles and people even telling me in person that they want to be collared/owned... with no hope/option of release.

Now... if your not happy.. your not happy and yes you should get out.  However, if that was willingly (on both parts) part of the original agreement when you were collared... I would say you should have thought of that before you made said agreement.  Im not saying that is your case... but "if" that was the case.  But again, a decent and... (dare I say it?) humane master should know when to say when.  I think are many doms who's power trip just completely consumes them and lose touch with reality.  But I also think that subs should be careful what they ask for.

Ok.. enough rambling from me for one day.

(in reply to candleTC)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 3:06:19 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight62

I would not call the police on him because not everyone has a clear view on the D/s life style, even though some law enforcement officials are a part of the D/s life. He has a very prominent position and I have a business where D/s would upset my clientele.


You don't get it. You tell the lawyer you had been in a relationship with Mr X and broke it off but he refuses to leave you alone.

The fact that he is in a prominent position means he won't want to be hit with a lawsuit for stalking. In the meantime you use caller ID and you don't answer if you know it's him. If he calls from a number you don't recognize then you hang up immediately.

You're making excuses for him and for your not acting in a decisive manner. If you really wanted him gone you wouldn't talk to him. You would hang up immediately and you would call the police if he comes pounding on your door and won't go away when you don't answer it.

But telling him you don't want to be with him and then engaging with him either on the phone or in person sends a different signal.

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 3:16:29 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Men can be abusers regardless of what profession they are in.  Lawyers are no different.
No means No and that means you do not wish to pursue this anymore.
I haven't read all of the details, but I would not live my life miserable because of this man.

Regards,

MissSCD

Do whatever you have to do to get away from him hun.   That is not what this life is about.  We are about Safe, Sane, and Consensual, not abuse.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 3:29:55 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		LOL he is full of shit, you certainly can take off his collar and say "Its over, bye bye". Don't let anyone tell you that you can never get out of a relationship you most certainly can, its just his way of trying to keep you with him as he may think your just gullible enough to believe him. Prove him wrong.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 4:04:28 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight62

A person must remember sub/slaves will do what ever it takes to please her Sir/Mistress. If we are told to eat out of a dog bowl the sub/slave will get on hands and knees to eat out of the bowl. If the Dom/Mistress say they are going to gang bang you the sub/slave will do what it takes to please the Dom/Mistress. The judge looks at the sub/slave desires, well allow our Doms to put us in a cage if they want for their pleasure, sleep on the floor, tie us up, humiliate us, fisting, or ass play. The judge looks at all of this and wonders if this person is safe to be around her children.

The Dom will get off free because the sub desires. All a Dom will say is yes I did these things too her, but your she wants these things to be done to her, so again the sub is made out to be the bad person.


I won't let him arrange a gang bang just because he says so. I'm not really interested in that. We can talk about it, but if it was a must for him, he'd still be looking.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 5:18:46 PM   
chrissyslave


Posts: 95
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

Being a slave doesn't make any difference, I am not sure where ppl got that being a slave somehow made the collar mean more, or different.  I have heard of subs being collared just the same as I am. 

I took my Masters collar because we went over and agreed on everything.  If someday we don't anymore, I have as much of a right to leave as anyone would (and so does he).  I won't ever just walk away easily, but that has nothing to do with being a slave, it has more to do with me commiting to building a life with him and not giving up unless there is a damn good reason.

We don't know the background on how long she waited to take it, or why she even left.  I don't think anyone can tell her that she should have thought more, or that she has to beg this guy to leave her alone.  He sounds very desperate to hold on to her and and is using the "you can't be released till I release you" crap in order to gain control over her again.


I have read enough other views to form my own here.  A M/s realationship is more about informed consent, honor and respect than legalities.  If someone is a newbie and enters a relationship with an experienced one and skips the key steps of mutual understanding than that is like entering a contract with a minor.  The contract still exists but is largely unenforcable, and the risks fall on the more experienced one (above a certain age in legal terms, but more about experience here), and the newbie can leave the relationship practically at will, although there are degrees of responsibility here. 

That situation aside, it's becomes more about honor and respect.  If the other party has kept up their agreements then I consider it possible to ask for release even if only because it no longer is satisfying to myself.  If refused I still have the right to revoke the collar but the dishonor is on myself instead of them.  But I would think very long and hard before I walked out, since it was my own shortcomings or change of heart that led me to this, and I accept that in fact I might be in some temporary spot that the One can see past, and I am having a flat or low spot in my development as a slave. 

But if I ask for release (from a collar) for "good cause" and release is refused, and I still walk away, then the dishonor and the consequences is on the other one...Master or Mistress in my case.  Point is that I take the level of being collared VERY seriously, and short of major failing of the One I allowed myself to be collared by then I choose up front to honor my committment and hang in there as a condition of the relationship.  Of course there is always the possibility that my (future) One would see my unhappiness and chooses to release me on their own accord, by a proper request, or with dishonor by merely dismissing myself as long as I fulfilled my committments as a slave.  In some other words I don't consider "consent" to be something I wake up and decide on each day as if "am I going to eat breakfast today?" 

Consent is the foundation of this kind of relationshp and if I thought my One was going to make some consent, or "go - no go" decision each day then I would not enter into a relationship with them in the first place.  Don't revisit this agreement unless you have very good solid reason to do so, and then first question your own mental space for doing so.  Even a current "lack of trust" needs to have some good reason for thinking that, or you are just projecting your own fears and shortcomings onto someone else and looking for blame in order to release yourself from the guilt of violating your own consentual agreements.  BTW, some one putting you into the hospital and having several other Masters confirming your sense of real abuse is an excellent reason to leave.  No further justification required.  

In case interested, I am a bit of a newbie, not been collared so far, but using both common sense and what I am striving for to go on for the view I expressed above.

chrissy    

_____________________________

Healthy living, diet and exercise...and you say that's a bad thing?!!

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 8:55:25 PM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		ones you told him you dont wish to serve him anymore you uncolared yourself
i belive if you feel unsafe mentaly or physicaly or emotinaly then yes you have this right .

ross.g

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 9:31:56 PM   
viperess


Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight62

Some of you are missing the whole concept. First off I am not a slave but a sub, second I did tell what I wanted and what I need. Third my mother taught me that a man will become a pain in the ass sometimes, well my Dom became a bother to me.


Personally i believe this tells it all. It was a matter of He was a pain in the butt so she wanted out. *thinks* should i tell Master when He is a pain in the butt....naw i like being able to sit down. But as she says she is not a slave but a sub ...next topic

_____________________________

viperess slave of BlackTarnHeart
heart and chain sister to velvetvixen68

(in reply to Carmeldelight62)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/16/2007 11:01:47 PM   
Darkhaven80


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candleTC

Shouldn't you have figured that out BEFORE the collar was placed??? Maybe i'm to much of a "traditionalist on the kinky side".. however, i feel the same way about marriage...
Shouldn't you KNOW that this relationship is in working order BEFORE you marry them???



Errr no. Sometimes people later show sides of themselves they held back, either through deceit or unconsciously. Sometimes people change and it's not for the better of the relationship. You can't always know everything beforehand and have it stay concrete.

(in reply to candleTC)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/17/2007 11:44:59 AM   
blackwinterbyrd


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		Tells you your sexual identity precludes you from leaving?
Wow! no wonder you left!

I would agree though, don't talk to him anymore.  hang up the phone.  tell all the people you both know.  you're out of the habit of submitting to him. act like it and don't let him bully you into paying any attention to him.

(in reply to Darkhaven80)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/17/2007 2:50:42 PM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Excuss me hope that this dosnt stur anything up but
Men can be abusers but so can women

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

Men can be abusers regardless of what profession they are in.  Lawyers are no different.
No means No and that means you do not wish to pursue this anymore.
I haven't read all of the details, but I would not live my life miserable because of this man.

Regards,

MissSCD

Do whatever you have to do to get away from him hun.   That is not what this life is about.  We are about Safe, Sane, and Consensual, not abuse.



_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/17/2007 3:17:03 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candleTC

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish


This ain't Monopoly and I don't recall seeing a set of line by line rules that sends you to BDSM jail if you don't "play" right.


Sometimes, this ain't "play" time.. this is real life.. with real commitments... i still stand by.. why didn't she communicate her needs, wants and desires first.



I realize this isn't play time which is why I used the word in quotes, working off the concept of Monopoly and rules. Sorry to bunch your knickers. Now I will just be over here trying to unbunch my own. ~moving her little metal top hat around the board~

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to candleTC)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? - 3/17/2007 3:18:27 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		And a final word about this (from me) to the OP.

How's he going to ~stop~ you?

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.188