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chrissyslave -> RE: Marketing (3/17/2007 6:24:43 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
My idea of marketing is that it highlights the good aspects while concealing the bad.
What is your view of marketing? Do you approach finding potential partners with this mindset?
From my perspective, I would rather just be myself, flaws and all. I have never been interested in trying to sell myself to attract a potential partner. They would either like me for exactly who I am and not just for the good things.
Knight's kyra
With the idea of "marketing" to use that term in the more personal realm, is the idea here not spelled out much so far is "marketing strategy" ....but we have heard bits of this by various posters. One idea of a more individualized strategy is NOT to go head-to-head with similar products competing for the same market, such as a new soda competing against Pepsi, but to find that which appeals to a specific niche of which you are more suited to match up with. A site such as CM is only a portion of the relationship general market, and within that are various niches, or interests, that one could focus their profile towards, or even create different ones if that would be less confusing in some cases. And even within each niche there are shades of interests in each type of niche. But we are more than a set of interests, and our "marketing" hopefully will reflect our basic nature in our sharing of who we are and what we are looking for to connect with another. Everything else is the icing on the cake or mere fluff in terms of desires.
So I would ask you "what is your strongest interests, values and qualities?" and "market" those, i.e., show those somehow clearly rather than overstate them. In terms of "negative qualities," real or imagined (meaning possibly in the mind of others), and whether to let those be known up front, then that is a tougher call to make. Your competition is NOT going to advertise their less appealing points (neither is the GE brand) but the fact is you are not just giving a warranty here, but you are the "product" that they must live with.... or not. So the tradeoff is knowing that other "similar products" is selling their generally more attractive points, and at least at first not mentioning potential less attractive areas....to their chosen "niche" and yet you don't want to have too many potential deal breakers (in the mind of someone not knowing you and all that you offer) that when learned or discovered down the road that the "buyer" is disappointed and you both have found you wasted your valuable time, resources and emotions getting to know one another. So we have the idea of "tradeoff" here between being too open initially and being too slick, or even deceptive when taken to the extreme in your marketing of yourself.
The idea of "marketing" that is much different in personal relationships context is that we are complicated beings by ourselves and that takes time to learn about, and not something that can be picked up and carried out the door.....at least some of the time, but secondarily our relationship is unique in itself...being a form of chemistry between the "seller and buyer" that cannot be well predicted in many cases....or to state claims that we will or can perform in a certain way reliably in advance to a high degree of certainly. In many cases the spirit might be willing but the flesh is too untested, or able. Those that know their self "product" have an advantage but then so do most "preowned" vehicles, thus the desirability and risk of newbies in this scene.
In fact some of the most apparent unlikely match-ups end up with the best success in the final experience, and therefore basing a marketing strategy on "apparent product/personal qualities" may in fact miss the most critical factors for a successful match-up, and our stated interests and vanilla interests are only one level of determination. We have a variety of personality traits and styles that are attempted to be analysised and matched up on other vanilla sites (Dr. Phil's site for example) but other than "common interests" we rarely get to market ourselves up front in the truly key areas that determine long-term success. In fact some of the people (One/ones) that we might not get along with initially might in fact prove to be the most interesting and valuable friends/partner over the long-run.
The problem with using "marketing" concepts is that it implies that we have a known, and knowable, product and that what it strives to meet with another is also know to that person in solid terms. So many personal aspects are not qualifiable, and even with the best intentions to reveal later on (phone chats or in person) we often over-market or understate what is key to our joint success. Maybe what we could use is a personal "focus group" in order to both better define our personal product and how best to market it. Of course that is why I have a trainer/life style coach in order to sort these kinds of concerns out.
The ultimate goal of any good marketing strategy is to get the best price (reward) for the least price (cost) at the level that is a set level of satisfaction for us to be interested. Conversely, given a certain level of price (what we offer) we are willing or able to provide, as am example if we are willing to spend say $100 for a coat (fixed level of effort/cost) then what is the best coat that it will buy for us? (comparitively the best D/M or s/s for our life with it' restrictions plus our unique desires), so using general marketing criteria we wish to cast and catch the MOST possible match-ups early on and then narrow it from there as more critical/true aspects are explored...but only on a truly real level...not just our preceptions of what we need. As a personal arena of marketing ourselves, we progress in stages of revelation and more interactive experience, and therefore "good marketing" is both progressive, starting wider and has a longer time and more stages of discovery...least we find we have jumped into the pot before the relationship waters were really the right temperature to cook the deal, or missed the possible pot entirely. Or in relationship areas to form a lasting and most satisfying type of relationship that at least comes close to meeting the needs and wants of both parties.
Some approach relationships from minimal threshold view (meeting the minimal level is good enough) and others from a maximizing viewpoint (seeking the higher return for the personal investment). The latter appoarch is my view will require more intial contacts, but in the same process, will result in the greater number of rejected opportunities as it goes along. So I ask of you (meaning anyone seeking, and designing their personal marketing plan) what is your goal, and desired level of satifaction?... then we can design a marketing program based on that criteria.
But if a company, such as Coke-a-Cola has shareholder to meet their set of desires (return on investment) then that helps determine their marketing stratergy (more aggressive type), versus what we as individuals often choose to undertake. I have heard a range of self marketing strategizes in this topic that is reflected in their degree of agresssiveness of self presentation...from hanging it all out there up front (take all of me or don't bother)...to trying to look their best in every situation (at least get you attention first)....even perhaps how one looks going to the grocery store (a constant fuller marketing campaign and geared towards attracting the most potential buyers/suiters) then let's play the narrow-down game, which instead of a few possible choices might end up with three times of interests...some hopefully even better match-ups.
I see a key requirement of self knowledge and timely relevation as more critical to longer distance type opportunities, i.e. through the internet and by physical distance. However I often hear the reverse focus in "marketing" terms of the advice to attend local munches and events so the opportunities to market personally up front and to create more potential good true match-up that hopefully will lead to a more reliable marketing result (assumes a good/acceptable match-up is in fact available locally). A good point unless one is able to see the internet and longer distance possibilities in terms of a progressive marketing campaign, and not jump ahead too quickly in the logical steps.
A wider marketing stratergy requires a smarter one as well, and the patience to carefully move through each step with the full possibility of you needing to reject them at each stage. And the willingness to be rejected as well....often an unspoken basis for at least part of one's personal marketing strategy, however if it results in constant failures or major disappointments later on then one needs to revisit their marketing strategy or content conveyed as part of it.
So "marketing" in one's own personal quest for a relationship (versus say a job unless we lie outright about our experience or interests) overall is about knowing yourself fairly well, an idea what you are truly need to be satisfied, and being able to cast a wide net with the key characteristics about yourself, then if passing that filtering process to narrow down the choices with good criteria. Finally before a more serious commitment is made to be able to show all the key negatives that if found out later could either seriously damage the relationship or cause so much regret that it reduces the overall success of the relationship. And hopefully your interested One/one is willing to do the same with yourself.
The fact is that "personal marketing" today is more businesslike in many cases, with the advent of on-line dating/connections becoming even more common, and acceptable today. I think that too wide of net is not attractive (shotgun approach) such as with form letters, and then being too specific too quickly (a rifle approach) might prematurely rule someone out based on some less important marketing/personal point.
As such I see that some contacts leave out their personal photos, even at the second or third contact, and that leads me to wonder how much they are relying on their marketing of their "better" qualities in the hope that a stronger mental connection is going to later on override a possible initial "reason" for a premature rejection. Some state that is more superficial concerns, and as such if one does not like it they are free not to explore the relationship.
I fully recognize that although my basic preference is for someone more trim like myself (for a variety of reasons..including health concerns), but in hoping that I might at some point find that a very strong mind of a master, or co-sub/slave, would be more than worth getting past that aspect and see what develops.
Sometimes what we view as our "needs" turn out to be more about "desires," and that the ultimate marketing strategy for ourselves is to be real enough with your own internal reality so that others might be willing to look past your surface faults as well, or perceived shortcomings of their own. So the first key question of marketing is what is the most important elements for what will make you satisfied, and what do you possess that will most make someone else pleased. I fully believe that some of the best marketing strategies are those that allow for the creation of relationships that defy all standard text of what makes a good match-up. If we all came with a personal manual, then some of us might need a translator in order for it to make a deeper sense to others....myself included. To to know more of one's past to understand their present focus on relationships...the hidden pitfalls...and hidden pleasures to speak.
The most difficult challenges as far as "maketing" goes, and I have experienced thus far, is to figure out an appropriate marketing strategy that has the right elements and the right criteria by which to narrow down the possible choices, as dealing with the marketing schemes of others...however valid they may be. In this regards those who have already experienced a M/s relationship might in fact be in the best position to do a far ranging personal marketing campaign. But then with as they say I, or others, may have enough "vanilla" experience in hand and at least some understanding of marketing methods that we can do a reasonable job, though that is not to say I believe I will do the ultimost "maximizing" one. But hey, that's where threshold criteria theory comes in well doesn't it?
I would like to ask here of Kyra is this is a merely a curious question or that you foresee yourself perhaps marketing yourself in the near future? Or what stimulated you to ponder this area?
Chrissy
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