quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar

This "taming" did happen in my relationship, not because I did not want to submit or had no desire to submit but because of a childhood full of abusive men.  I was lucky.  I found a man who knew that I knew that I needed to submit even if I did take steps that were at times exactly opposite of that and continued to work with me.  I suppose it was very much like taming a wild animal at times, but we both knew exactly what was in our hearts.  Some part of me needed him to prove himself stronger in will more so than physically so in order for me to feel completely safe with him.  Basically I had put on a lot of emotional armor over the years and found someone who was really interested in getting to know the real person underneath...even if it meant resocializing a 20-year-old girl.  I brought this thread up to him on the phone, and he said the best dogs and horses he's had were the toughest to train, and I was no different.  That's my .02 for what it is worth.

If I were looking now, I don't think it would be like this.  Those issues are gone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
I equate leash yanking to him actively exercising his authority, i.e. giving a direct order or telling me no.  I do not equate it to "make me" or "prove yourself" attitude.  Is that what you are referring to, active exercise of authority?

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

i know that's a crappy title, but i couldn't think of anything else. something chrissyslave posted on the married men thread in general got me thinking about an attitude i occasionally see in posts by or profiles of other submissives and slaves that i personally don't get. it's the, "i want him to prove his dominance," attitude, for lack of a better term. it's the...i need to be put in my place physically, or, as she (i hope she doesn't mind me taking her words) put it, for a dominant to show they are mentally and physically superior. kind of an "i want to be tamed" attitude, from what i understand (and i'm fully accepting i may be wrong...anyone who comes from this viewpoint, please correct me if i am). i think bratty subs fall under this category in some cases as well, although i am by no means equating everyone who feels this way with being a bratty sub ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: firemuse

This post has SO struck a chord, smilingjaguar.  I am new to the lifestyle (but not to being submissive) and have yet to experience a spanking/caning/flogging etc.

I experienced physical abuse growing up and although I am truly "over" it and at peace, I donut know how I will react to being hit. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: chrissyslave
What I see myself more in the role is of Xena-Princess Warrior who only will submit to someone at least as able as herself, and in this M/s area that is not an especially high bar to surpass being a newbie (in other lifestyle areas, not M/s, I am a Mistress of sorts...so I go head-to-head at times with newbies in ways that can affect lives).  Another comparison is the lioness that is strong yet allow the lion to grab her by the scuff of her neck and have his way with her as her voluntary form of submission.  Some masters like the ones who submit by deliberate choice (me), rather than merely being passive, and that is the kind of conscious TPE that I seek.  He doesn't do so to prove himself but just being himself, and having the intellect to know the difference.  It also means that he might need to reel this one in more slowly in order to land her in his boat of dominance.  Different boats for different folks! 

quote:

ORIGINAL: chrissyslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

i know that's a crappy title, but i couldn't think of anything else. something chrissyslave posted on the married men thread in general got me thinking about an attitude i occasionally see in posts by or profiles of other submissives and slaves that i personally don't get. it's the, "i want him to prove his dominance," attitude, for lack of a better term. it's the...i need to be put in my place physically, or, as she (i hope she doesn't mind me taking her words) put it, for a dominant to show they are mentally and physically superior. kind of an "i want to be tamed" attitude, from what i understand (and i'm fully accepting i may be wrong...anyone who comes from this viewpoint, please correct me if i am). i think bratty subs fall under this category in some cases as well, although i am by no means equating everyone who feels this way with being a bratty sub ;)

Well, I think it was a bit rude to name myself or paraphrase my comments here, especially without prior okay to do so, much less even alert me you were trying to quote myself.  You could have done so without my mention by name or content.  And comes across as some continued vindictiveness of a thread that rattled on and on until the moderator brought the BS to a halt.  That  bloated Elvis had already left the CM building.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar

quote:

ORIGINAL: chrissyslave
What I see myself more in the role is of Xena-Princess Warrior who only will submit to someone at least as able as herself, and in this M/s area that is not an especially high bar to surpass being a newbie (in other lifestyle areas, not M/s, I am a Mistress of sorts...so I go head-to-head at times with newbies in ways that can affect lives).  Another comparison is the lioness that is strong yet allow the lion to grab her by the scuff of her neck and have his way with her as her voluntary form of submission.  Some masters like the ones who submit by deliberate choice (me), rather than merely being passive, and that is the kind of conscious TPE that I seek.  He doesn't do so to prove himself but just being himself, and having the intellect to know the difference.  It also means that he might need to reel this one in more slowly in order to land her in his boat of dominance.  Different boats for different folks! 

chrissy,

Thanks for putting this into words better than I could have.  I have never understood why it is a bad thing to want your Master/Dom to be superior to you or to enjoy it when He exercises his authority?  I don't provoke it, and I'm not bratty.  I just want a stronger, intelligent Master who enjoys the mental AND physical exercise of authority.  There is nothing quite like a quick face slap or a hand on the throat to give me the fuzzies and remind me why I serve him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle
this isn't to say that i don't enjoy being slapped or choked - as that's one of the ways in which he shows his physical dominance - but that wasn't really the effect i was going for the original post. i'm not by any means trying to say it's bad to want someone "superior to you," it's just not a phenomenon i personally understand all that well. i've found your posts, as well as chrissy's and a few others, to be especially enlightening on this matter.

personally, i enjoy it when he exercises his authority, but i also don't see him as superior to me and he doesn't see himself that way. maybe it has to do with the way we relate the words superiority and authority.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Annabelle- what you did was not at all rude in the context of an online forum.  Chrissy words were posted freely in public.  All you did was REFERENCE her words as a brief jumping point for a different, though related, topic.  Please disregard any notion that you did anything at all inappropriate or even borderline.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chrissyslave

I have to disagree here as the very partial unquote lacked the full context of what I was saying (and adding all sorts of unrelated aspects that was not included in my other message...such as "bratty" comments),

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Annabelle- what you did was not at all rude in the context of an online forum.  Chrissy words were posted freely in public.  All you did was REFERENCE her words as a brief jumping point for a different, though related, topic.  Please disregard any notion that you did anything at all inappropriate or even borderline.

It is better than hijacking the thread and taking the discussion elsewhere for discussion....However notifying someone of doing this might relieve any anxieities some might have an allows them to respond in a manner that might be more condusive to a socratic debate rather than personal mudslinging which seems to happen alot here.

Ross
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