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Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 4:43:54 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		As a Dominant, I'm expected to make all the decisions and my will should reign supreme. right? Well, some times I just do not CARE about an issue, such as what we have for dinner or what movie we watch. It can be a real chore to get my sub to actually express an opinion at such times. He and I have had discussion after discussion about the fact that if I say I do not care about an issue I expect him to let me know his preferences on the subject. Well.. we're still working on it. LoL.

How many other subs hesitate to express their opinions or preferences? How many other Dominants have run into getting a sub to express a preference or want to be like pulling teeth?

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 4:46:59 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I have no trouble expressing my opinions when appropriate and sometimes when not appropriate too.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to BeachMystress)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 4:54:11 PM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline 		I've gotten incredibly frustrated with Aqua in the past for exactly this reason. She'll ask me for my input on something, and I honestly just don't care... at which point our effectiveness as a couple takes a nosedive.

What makes this worse is the fact that my kitten blows hot and cold about having opinions - sometimes she's paralyzed without my input, such as when we're trying to decide what we want for dinner right after I've gotten home from eight hours of landscaping, and sometimes she's rarin' to go and my lack of enthusiasm completely sucks the wind out of her sails. Pulling teeth would probably be easier to handle, because a quick yank and the sucker's done with.

I've asked her for her input at times, to be met with the completely reflective (and frustrating) question, "Well, what do you like?" It's a complete pain in the ass sometimes, but I chalk it up to one of those issues in a relationship that you only find out about when you're living together.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to BeachMystress)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 4:54:45 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		What if he just doesn't HAVE an opinion or preference?   Maybe you could resort to flipping coins or install a dartboard or something like that?

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to missturbation)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 4:57:34 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hey, we all deal with this from time to time.  Sometimes you just want
to slap them silly because they do not want to make a decision! (chuckles)
 
Hang in there hun. 


quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
How many other subs hesitate to express their opinions or preferences? How many other Dominants have run into getting a sub to express a preference or want to be like pulling teeth?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to BeachMystress)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 4:58:46 PM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		whew! i m glad dis was jus a metaphor... was worried someone was ACTUALLY n2 pulling their sub's teeth...

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:01:24 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Some womenz got teeth up there azz baby boy---------don't stick thor in there till you know the histrionics---------------

Kabanaghabebegigiwgwiaabbbubfucukubgawwana  

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:01:54 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Getting Angel to speak at ALL when he is in subspace is like pulling teeth.  He squeaks, sighs, moans andmakes other varied noises, none of which even come close to words. Granted, it is like truly dealing with a baby sometimes, but it doesnt make getting input any easier.  The only way I can get answers from him is if I get really good at listening to his squeaking and igureing what are positive and negative responses. 
When we arent in scene, he isnt big on giving me opinions either.  But thats just the way he is.  Yes, its like pulling teeth.

DV

< Message edited by DiurnalVampire -- 3/17/2007 5:02:37 PM >

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to azzmaster)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:02:48 PM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		i have no trouble expressing anything except for first meetings i can be shy

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To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:06:53 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		whoops, wrong acct.. logging in as myself..
 
Beach's toyboy

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 3/17/2007 5:08:35 PM >

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to BeachMystress)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:06:53 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		Sometimes I don't care either, which makes things difficult for both sides. Sometimes I don't know enough about something to have an opinion, which I know is frustrating too. I try not to be difficult but that's not always possible.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:09:00 PM   
beachstoyboy


Posts: 33
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: Coastal Southern California
Status: offline 		As the submissive in our relationship, it is always my first impulse to defer decisions of preference to Mistress.  To me, what she wants is more important than what I want.  This becomes a bit of a problem however when Mistress says she does not care about something.  When She says this,  I begin thinking does She really not care, or is She just allowing me my choice.  At which point I then try to figure out what it is She really wants.  If I cannot figure it out, I will often try to deflect the decision back to her.  We have talked about this many times, and I realize that I must take her at her word and just pick what I like, but I always have it in the back of my mind, "Will She enjoy this?".  As the Dominant She has the right to choose to NOT make the decisions at times.


_____________________________

Beach's toyboy
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"
~~~
http://www.myspace.com/beachs_toyboy
http://www.flickr.com/people/beachmystress/
http://beachmystress.viviti.com/

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:09:08 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		LOL - Hey, I think one of you guys forgot to log out and the other forgot to log in!  

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:10:30 PM   
daddyspetal


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		As a submissive can I say I understand how irritating that could get at times. But as a submissive I find it very hard to say what my preferences are. Maybe thats one of the character traits that makes me a sub in the first place. I want to please and what my preferences are, are second to a Dom's. So I ask.
The other reason is sometimes I just can't be arsed making a decision such as what to cook for his dinner and I want him to decide! Naturally I don't phrase it quite like that in the flesh.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:16:38 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		(Fast reply)
Hehe, this has happened to us many, many a time. Usually when related to what we want to eat when both of us are hungry. "Where do you want to go for dinner?"
- "Umm...I don't know, what are you in the mood for?"
"I don't know!"
- "Well...I don't know either. I'm just hungry. Pick something?"
(and it goes on, and on, and on...)

As a slave, I don't have a problem expressing an opinion- when I have one. But sometimes, I just don't care either! In those cases, when neither he nor I care, it just becomes an ineffective circle until one of us cracks and decides on something- usually with a round of "What about X? Would that be okay?" first.

behindmirrors.

(in reply to daddyspetal)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:17:24 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		This made me laugh.  It's very similar in my relationship.  We were going through this just the other night and I started laughing.  He asked me what was so funny and I said, "If you don't have a preference, what makes you think I would have one?"  He just grinned and said, "Good point, but you're still picking the place."  When he asks me to pick, I pick.  But it's not out of some desperate desire to eat at a certain restaurant that I have repressed in order to be uber submissive. Sometimes it just doesn't matter.  I love Mexican food and could eat it every other day.  He hates Mexican food, so that's a no.  And that's honestly the only food that could motivate me enough to actually care where we go as long as it's clean.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:17:27 PM   
beachstoyboy


Posts: 33
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: Coastal Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

LOL - Hey, I think one of you guys forgot to log out and the other forgot to log in!  


Yes, I was bad. *blush*


_____________________________

Beach's toyboy
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"
~~~
http://www.myspace.com/beachs_toyboy
http://www.flickr.com/people/beachmystress/
http://beachmystress.viviti.com/

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:18:48 PM   
blushingflower


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		It depends on the matter at hand.  Sometimes I don't care either. 
Sometimes when a woman says "I don't care", she wants to start a negotiation, so sometimes I mean that, and sometimes we read that into others (men who know this read it into the women they're with, women who mean this read it into men).
Sometimes he asks me a question and he wants to know my opinion, but I'm not comfortable expressing my opinion for whatever reason- sometimes I'm just shy about it, sometimes I don't know if it'll make him happy.
But if it's "which movie do you want to watch" or "what do you want to eat", then I'll answer.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:24:32 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: behindmirrors

(Fast reply)
Hehe, this has happened to us many, many a time. Usually when related to what we want to eat when both of us are hungry. "Where do you want to go for dinner?"
- "Umm...I don't know, what are you in the mood for?"
"I don't know!"
- "Well...I don't know either. I'm just hungry. Pick something?"
(and it goes on, and on, and on...)

LMAO, this is almost word for word what inspired this post tonight!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 5:27:03 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		No worries!  I see this happen all the time.  (giggles) 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to beachstoyboy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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