RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a vanilla relationship?

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RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 8:28:23 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Darn, I didn't get that silly unwritten memo.
People are people. Being in a lifestyle doesn't make them different or special or more tolerant.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 41

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 8:58:19 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

true, but can you say that in general, a group formed by outsiders is NOT about support, at least in the beginning?

i mean, why do most of us come here,

to meet people, a huge amount of them, so they dont feel alone in their differentness
to extange ideas, learn new ways....

in a general sense, i believe those to be parts of a support system... especially an outreach for comrades, and the accepting of the hand - which you can witness every day here on CM

whether everyone on the inside agrees, well is another story

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 42

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 9:06:35 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I mainly come here for amusement and information. There have been times I have asked for help with things. It's good to have a place like this, as long as people realize that you get a bit of everything, good and bad, like it's been said before, take what's useful and leave the rest behind.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 43

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 9:08:20 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

true, but can you say that in general, a group formed by outsiders is NOT about support, at least in the beginning?

i mean, why do most of us come here,

to meet people, a huge amount of them, so they dont feel alone in their differentness
to extange ideas, learn new ways....

in a general sense, i believe those to be parts of a support system... especially an outreach for comrades, and the accepting of the hand - which you can witness every day here on CM

whether everyone on the inside agrees, well is another story

I come here for the forums, to talk and to learn. This isn't a support group and it's certainly not a "safe, cuddly place." There are people here who care about me yes, but when if I need to talk about something in a "safe place" I'll take it to LJ and the communities that actually strive for a safe place environment.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 44

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 9:12:45 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

to meet people, a huge amount of them, so they dont feel alone in their differentness
to extange ideas, learn new ways....

greetings

I don't seek out groups of like minded people because I think I am different than they are. Nor do I feel like an outsider with those who do not have the same kind of relationship that Master and I do.

I enjoy exchanging ideas, and learning new things; but I would be just as comfortable discussing things in a room full of vanilla's as I am in a room full of Goreans or BDSMer's.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 45

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 9:26:24 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

just ideas! personally i agree with Aquatic on the LJ part, and have learned not to expect much in terms of support around here, but was just trying to get to the bottom of maybe why others do.

sorry for the jack

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to jauntyone)

Post #: 46

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 10:39:11 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Darn, I didn't get that silly unwritten memo.
People are people. Being in a lifestyle doesn't make them different or special or more tolerant.

Aside from your attempt to be sarcastic and rude, like usual, that's your thing, so fine. I never said anything about anyone being different or special or even more tolerant. I was giving a history of why people perceive it to be so. I also indicated why people like YOU are not part of that history, nor are expected to be part of the reason why toleration is expected. I explained YOU in my comment as one of those who were never part of the positive crowd. You just like to be rude, masquerading it as an attempt at humor. You probably never got the "silly unwritten memo" because people expected you'd respond with a rude comment, and thus, sending it to you would have been a waste of everyone's time.

Now, there's a reason I'm addressing you directly on this, and that's mainly because you claim not to see toleration, and thus, make an erroneous connection that there is no toleration because YOU are not part of that behavior. So, you asked a question of where does someone see something that you are incapable of seeing because you're of a mindset that perpetuates the problem. You don't have to be part of the solution, and I'm certainly not asking for nor expecting that, or even imagining it would be possible in a lifetime. But you are dismissive of the positive actions of others because you yourself are unwilling to act in a positive manner towards others. That's somewhat significant, even if you don't understand it because you were never sent a silly unwritten memo.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 47

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 11:46:54 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

I also indicated why people like YOU are not part of that history,

Thank you so much for your profound insights. However, I think you have been so busy attending online conferences of old timers and deep thinkers such as yourself to write your unwritten rules that you have failed to notice the very large smug bug that crawled up your ass.

I suggest you visit your proctologist immediately to have it removed; not only will it improve your attitude and give you a cheap thrill, but it may also help you realize that proclaiming oneself kinky is not like drinking a magic elixer that makes you more tolerant or relationships more spiritual or any of that crap -- people are still people with the same foibles and biases as anywhere else, and that simple point of Katy's is apparently beyond your comprehension because you're too pretentious to see it.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 48

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 11:49:16 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

quote:

I also indicated why people like YOU are not part of that history,

Thank you so much for your profound insights. However, I think you have been so busy attending online conferences of old timers and deep thinkers such as yourself to write your unwritten rules that you have failed to notice the very large smug bug that crawled up your ass.

I suggest you visit your proctologist immediately to have it removed; not only will it improve your attitude and give you a cheap thrill, but it may also help you realize that proclaiming oneself kinky is not like drinking a magic elixer that makes you more tolerant or relationships more spiritual or any of that crap -- people are still people with the same foibles and biases as anywhere else, and that simple point of Katy's is apparently beyond your comprehension because you're too pretentious to see it.

Sonofabitch

I spit coffee everywhere

A little warning next time please

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 49

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 12:31:24 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

The funny thing is: I never even said I disagreed with Katy. Just the method of delivery. Kind of like yours. You weren't EVEN in the conversation YET you felt it necessary to insult someone with whom YOU were not even having a conversation. If that doesn't make the point, nothing else really will.

No, I'm not going to insult you in return because I don't have a beef with you other than the fact that you felt a need to insult me just because you feel like you can. Unlike those who only know how to insult as a process of communication, I know that I have a unique perspective on the issue; I also know that I don't have the ONLY perspective on the issue and make no claims to superiority of message because of uniqueness of message. But I don't need to digress to the 6th grade and start name calling random strangers because that might make me look cool to the other kids.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 50

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 12:54:18 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

i think we just lost another thread to the new poison that has run rampant the past two weeks, Threadkilosis.

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 51

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 12:54:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
Aside from your attempt to be sarcastic and rude, like usual, that's your thing, so fine.

Actually IMO Katy has only recently expressed herself in a spikier way.

She's always been sarcastic but I like that, and I haven't seen anything I'd consider rude.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 52

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 12:55:53 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Katy's method of delivery is fine.

So is yours.

There only becomes an issue when people start making 'examples' of others.

Wiitwd is full of people that are born, live and die. There is no more a support network here than there is anywhere else. Each relationship whether BDSM related or not is up to the individuals concerned and being dumped by your dominant is no different than being dumped by your husband - other than on a personal level. Perceptions are and will always be that what we do as individuals - be that BDSM, attend church or mosque, are Goths, or whatever - is always 'better' than that which we do not get, belong to or understand.

And that includes picking on individuals.

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 53

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 12:56:57 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Ahhhhhhhhhh-------------

Everybody is a little testy, it is the spring rut.

osterones and ogens running rampant in the kink pop.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 54

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 1:00:31 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

stop talking whore-moans Ron!

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 55

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 1:04:09 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Actually IMO Katy has only recently expressed herself in a spikier way.

I blame two jobs and lack of nap time. At any rate, this is who I am.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 56

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 1:05:56 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Beaytch!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XO,
Ron
(couldn't let that go unheeded)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 57

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 1:14:42 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

heh, those who know me understand me for the bitch I am!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 58

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 1:26:23 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Aww...I just love Pennsylvania bitches. Now excuse me as I go run and read about pee pee in the butt.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 59

RE: Dumped by your Dominant - different than ending a v... - 3/21/2007 1:33:41 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Aww...I just love Pennsylvania bitches. Now excuse me as I go run and read about pee pee in the butt.

Maybe it's just me, but I've been avoiding that thread like the plague. For all I know, it's about cute little stuffed rabbits that play all friendly together.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 60

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