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RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 8:08:27 PM

Dreamn8r

Posts: 21
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

To be honest, luci, I have and had NO intention of actually releasing those names. I just want to see if ANYONE was paying attention. Apologies to those who thought I might actually follow through, and please don't write requesting those names or YOU will get no reply other than "Sorry, not available"

< Message edited by Dreamn8r -- 3/22/2007 8:17:24 PM >

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 21

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 8:11:59 PM

Mustardseed

Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

It's possible that your message got filtered into their Bulk Mail, possibly because you don't actually fit the criteria they have for their target interests. One has to remember to check their Bulk Mail folder here -- there's no announcement that I know of telling folks that they have new mail from people who don't match their location, age, gender, orientation, etc. preferences.

So this may be a more automated way of saying, "Thanks, but no thanks" rather than a direct attack on you, specifically. Indeed, suggesting to other doms who might actually fit these subs' entered search criteria that they not contact these members just because you ended up in their Bulk Mail filter would be doing a disservice to both the seeking submissives and the doms you're claiming to want to help.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 22

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 8:12:28 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreamn8r

I had a "nice, gentle" profile for a long time. What do you think it got Me? You guessed it. NADA. And apparentl;y it is OK for others to express their opinions or stand for something, just not Me.

You do not get it!..having a nice gentle profile and then a negative one in an attempt to attract a submissive, either way, it seems to me as if the best course for you to follow, would be to simply be yourself...quit focusing on "others" focus on what kind of message you wish to convey about yourself. Here are a few good words..see what fits you..strong, quiet, confident, funny,creative, adventurous,down to earth, balanced,.....all good positive words...after all you are advertisng yourself not "others"...and yes..thus far you are coming across as whining..see example of it above in your response to me..where you say..ok apparently it is ok for others to express their opinions or stand for something, just not me...sorry..after I read that portion, at the end of it..I heard a big ol whaaaaaa..I do not mean to be a "meanie"..I am simply trying to have you see how you are coming across...and frankly I was trying to tell you what may of been the reason as to why you received no response from the submissives you contacted.Your profile also stated experience...I had to view even that statement with a jaundiced eye as what you have written in your profile and what your reactions have been here do not say to me "experienced" Dominant.....you do not of course have to listen to what I have said..I am simply giving you my opinion..and it is "wake up and smell the coffee burning"....Tempting

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 23

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 8:15:15 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreamn8r

Yes, that had occurred to Me. What hadn't occurred to Me, is when someone shows they have been online several times and doesn't read emails.

sometimes, i will come online just for the boards, which will bump my profile up although i do not read my emails during those times.

sometimes, i will read an email and take a long time to respond to it due to outside issues or just the fact that i haven't felt like responding at first.

i think you are spending a lot of time jumping to conclusions and getting unduly bitter and offended, imho. i also agree with temptingnovicesub that it is a much better idea to be yourself than to change your profile into what you think will attract someone. i've attracted far more responses to my profile that way, personally, so i know it's got to work. your profile focuses more on your negative view of certain things than who you actually are, and what moves you.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 24

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 8:16:24 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

It depends on who you messaged....Many women get bombarded with messages...They rend to only respond to Doms that have some sort of "Domi" in their name....Maybe you shoud swith your name to Dominique?

_____________________________

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 25

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 9:33:15 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreamn8r

I recently sent a few messages, nothing offensive or "strange" to several submissives.. some as far back as the 8th of March.. Do you see it as showing respect by not replying to someone who shows interest in you? Even a thanks, but no thanks. BTW, most of these girls don't even bother to read the email, or read My profile to see what I am about. If you want the name of these non-responsive coorespondents, so you don't have to waste your own time, PM Me.

If they haven't even read the messages then they probably aren't checking their CM mail because either they aren't looking or they don't care. Not replying isn't polite but it's understandable. A lot of people get very upset when rejected, even politely. So yes it's rude. But honestly, I wouldn't consider it as rude as trying to give out their names. My .02

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 26

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 9:35:13 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreamn8r

I had a "nice, gentle" profile for a long time. What do you think it got Me? You guessed it. NADA. And apparentl;y it is OK for others to express their opinions or stand for something, just not Me.

Apprently this one isn't getting you anything either...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 27

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 9:37:12 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreamn8r

Yes, that had occurred to Me. What hadn't occurred to Me, is when someone shows they have been online several times and doesn't read emails. I am not a troll, nor a stalker. I am not emotionally abusive, even though that has been asked of Me. I politiely declined that particular request. Honestly, I think there are a lot of gameplayers here trolling to see how many responses they can get. Or perhaps I'm the only one whose emails aren't even read, but I sincerely doubt this. I want to be more positive. I really do.

No but you are kinda creepy. So they didn't read your e-mail. Isn't that like when you are at a bar, you send a pretty girl a drink and she refuses it? Or is that rude too?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 28

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 10:23:24 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

Newbies... god I just love'em... so full of vim, vigor and vehemence. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling as they fumble around trying to figure out how to climb out of the hole they just dug themselves into which is amazing... and this is the really fun part... that they actually found time to dig the hole while thumping their chest in righteous indignation because heaven forbid the world didn't stop spinning just cause they got out of bed this morning. Gosh golly, next thing you know they'll have to fold their own laundry, wipe their own ass and learn to share the sandbox with the rest of us and we all know how much of a shock to the ego that can be. Here's a bit of helpful advice Shirley... and only just cause I'm feeling happy on the account of a cute blond hinting at possible nakedness... nobody owes you anything, not a reply, not a cup of coffee, not even sympathy... and pay attention because this is the really important part... whining about it in the forums and even hinting that you're going to tattle tale names is pretty much at the top of the list of ways to NEVER get fan mail. So here's a step ladder, good luck with the hole and happy hunting.

.oO(Note to self, stop watching Scrubs so much)

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 29

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 10:52:55 PM

Rafters

Posts: 266
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline

I've still got a 100% rate on responses to emails. Even the negative ones will take the time to give me an answer why....

So switch from your existing method to the Rafters(TM) method of CM emailing, it's easy...

1) Read their profile

2) Even if you're asking about their photo technique, Read their profile. Note their hot and cold buttons and make sure you explain yourself if you're going near them. The phrase "It's better to ask forgiveness than permission" does not apply here.
If you invest time on them before you start write, they won't consider a reply to be a waste of time on their part.

3) Be polite, you're the stranger interupting their inboxes flow of back and forth with friends. And they have no obligation to reply.
It takes hundreds of actions to reply to your message, but only one to delete it

4) Let your real persona shine through. Remember you're a person, they're a person and you should be be conversing about something you have in commmon. Do not cut and paste generic scripts, people can tell. Any cut and pasting should be slapped between quote marks and wrapped in an explanation of how it's relevant to the dynamic interactive conversation around it.

5) Keep it real. Imagine it's a munch, and you're both real people, walking in of the street in vanillaware and making eye contact.
Do not slap your cock pic across their eyes and say "yoh bitch.." Well not until after the first date and you know it's their kink. Real girls have real teeth.

6) Check their last logon. People who actually visit CM are more likely to answer an emal than someone who has set up an account but doesn't visit anymore

7) Read their profile, if it says "X only, no Y's" and you're a Y, unless you've worked your butt off at step2, guess the odds.

HTH

< Message edited by Rafters -- 3/22/2007 11:04:48 PM >

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 30

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/22/2007 11:03:11 PM

Rafters

Posts: 266
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Newbies... god I just love'em... so full of vim, vigor and vehemence. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling as they fumble around trying to figure out how to climb out of the hole they just dug themselves into which is amazing... and this is the really fun part... that they actually found time to dig the hole while thumping their chest in righteous indignation because heaven forbid the world didn't stop spinning just cause they got out of bed this morning. Gosh golly, next thing you know they'll have to fold their own laundry, wipe their own ass and learn to share the sandbox with the rest of us and we all know how much of a shock to the ego that can be. Here's a bit of helpful advice Shirley... and only just cause I'm feeling happy on the account of a cute blond hinting at possible nakedness... nobody owes you anything, not a reply, not a cup of coffee, not even sympathy... and pay attention because this is the really important part... whining about it in the forums and even hinting that you're going to tattle tale names is pretty much at the top of the list of ways to NEVER get fan mail. So here's a step ladder, good luck with the hole and happy hunting.

.oO(Note to self, stop watching Scrubs so much)

Great writing. You're channeling Dr Cox, in ways only I suspect his wife, could imagine

< Message edited by Rafters -- 3/22/2007 11:24:42 PM >

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 31

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 4:03:47 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreamn8r
Or perhaps I'm the only one whose emails aren't even read, but I sincerely doubt this. I want to be more positive. I really do.

I find it quite easy to be positive, I turn my frown upside down!

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 32

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 5:57:56 AM

VelvetIronTouch

Posts: 16
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreamn8r

I would easily accept such a no-answer "answer". Not to even bother to read one's messages.. when you CLAIM to be seeking somone. Why bother being here? No rage, just honesty. As for the psychotic. One idiot told Me I was a pedophile because I had the audacity to chat with a 27 year old then stalked Me. So, if that doesn't fit the description, I do not know what does.

Dude...what?

What's wrong with you man? First off, if someone was -that- uh, inconsistant with reality, to call you a pedrofile (yes, yes, I know) because you talked to a 27 year old? uh. Even if you talked to a 17 year old that's not pedophilia. A 7 year old, yes. Anyway, why on earth would you let someone that clearly unhinged get to you at all, much less complain about them on the forum?

You really do have too much negativity my man. Being a 'Dom' and having a victim complex don't really dance hand in hand my friend.

In the same skien, labelling yourself a 'Dom' because you have latent, unresolved anger and self-esteem issues and believe that finding some women to degrade doesn't necessarily meet the prerequisits.

As per your origional post, calm down. There are two things you need to consider here:

1. It might be your approach, you reek of baggage, subs/slaves want/need someone who has already faced His/Her issues and come to terms with them..after all, how can One seek to control, teach, and guide another if they haven't gotten a grip on their own feelings/life yet?

2. These girls get many, many, many IM's daily, lots of them from trolls. Understand that before you message them. To some this is a community to share, interract, get to know, and yes possibly delve more deeply and find kindred souls, Doms, or subs for romantic, sexual, TPE, etc relationships. But for many, no lie here, it's mainly guys, they see it as "oo here I'm going to find some girls who I can take advantage of who will soothe my ego." The girls, for the most part, know this.

You ask if it is rude for them not to reply to you. Have you ever asked yourself if it was rude of you to message them the way you did in the first place?

Just because they are subs/slaves does not mean they are -your- subs/slaves. There's nothing wrong with showing a modicum of respect. "You profile intreaged Me, I'd like to know more about you, would you be willing to talk a bit?" or something of the ilk is perfectly acceptable.

No one here owes you anything, my friend. Wrap your mind around that and start looking for someone to get to know, not just someone to tell you you are a Big Tuff Domly Master Man.

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 33

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 6:04:39 AM

VelvetIronTouch

Posts: 16
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Newbies... god I just love'em... so full of vim, vigor and vehemence.

I just have to say, that alliteration gave Me the warm fuzzies. Bigtime.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 34

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 6:20:54 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

One other thing. Back when I was looking I frequently didn't bother to read the email from someone I didn't know. Instead I would first go read their profile. Yours is now pulled but judging by the quotes from it, I'm sure that was a major reason why your mail is being deleted unread.

You've got a lot of bitterness. Even if you have someone else write a caring, sincere, funny profile for you it won't help. People as angry and bitter as you are here give off those vibes. Deal with the anger and bitterness, become happy with yourself and you will have no trouble meeting someone wonderful for you who wants to be with you.

Nobody wants to spend time with someone who is always angry, you have to walk on eggshells for fear of setting him off. That's a red flag of the first order. You appear to have a ton of baggage, isn't it time to throw some of it out?

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 35

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 6:23:09 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rafters

Do not slap your cock pic across their eyes and say "yoh bitch.." Well not until after the first date and you know it's their kink. Real girls have real teeth.

Sharp, pointy teeth....

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Rafters)

Post #: 36

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 6:28:02 AM

amuzingtoyou

Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline

i have stated this before on these no one responds to me threads....i don't think you understand the amount of mail that many women get on this site. We are under no obligation to resond. I don't see it as rude. I see it as weeding out.

(in reply to Dreamn8r)

Post #: 37

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 7:11:14 AM

chrissyslave

Posts: 95
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rafters

I've still got a 100% rate on responses to emails. Even the negative ones will take the time to give me an answer why....

So switch from your existing method to the Rafters(TM) method of CM emailing, it's easy...

1) Read their profile

2) Even if you're asking about their photo technique, Read their profile. Note their hot and cold buttons and make sure you explain yourself if you're going near them. The phrase "It's better to ask forgiveness than permission" does not apply here.
If you invest time on them before you start write, they won't consider a reply to be a waste of time on their part.

3) Be polite, you're the stranger interupting their inboxes flow of back and forth with friends. And they have no obligation to reply.
It takes hundreds of actions to reply to your message, but only one to delete it

4) Let your real persona shine through. Remember you're a person, they're a person and you should be be conversing about something you have in commmon. Do not cut and paste generic scripts, people can tell. Any cut and pasting should be slapped between quote marks and wrapped in an explanation of how it's relevant to the dynamic interactive conversation around it.
........5 to 7
HTH

A great bit of advice HTH shared with all 7 points but the key thing is if someone's message showed me they bothered to read my profile, and personalized their response to various points of it they have my attention and respect. You really don't know how rare this occurs, and is why when I recieve one that no matter what that person gets a reply, and quickier one, from me. The opposite of that is the one lines, or wose half lines, or any short-form abbrevs. type messages. Then the standard form messge without even bothering to put my name at the top of it. Or the directive type or worse but rare abusive ones.

As for read and reply times, it may not be the usual common sense you might think it would be in my case. If I care to reply at all (not the dump or clearly unmatching ones to my profile interests deletes) the still not interested ones get an average time reply just to clear them from my in box. Ones that are thoughtful and deserve a thoughtful response in depth may get one immediately or if more mixed in my preception of take a day or two at most to respond especially if there were elements of their profile that I wanted to think about. I think too many expect a reply the same day (or hour) it is read, and especially with the newbie subs we are still trying to sort out what ourselves want and feel comfortable responding to. And I ALWAYS check the profile of the sender before replying and if it sounds strange or attacking I will make a quick decline or not reply at all if too negative sounding. But if in a week or two one's email is not read or replied to then you might do a polite follow up. I do appreciate the ones that say something like "I know you are getting a lot of emails and when you have a chance please take a look at my profile and ......." Those also go the the top of my reply list and earn sub-points with me! BTW, the rude or nasty follow-ups get deleted as well as the initial one then without a reply at all.

Another reason subs may not be anxious to reply to all emails is that they multiply if you do. Even a decline might get a response, or a not at this time and before you know it you have 2-3 exchanges with someone you are not really interested in, and meanwhile 3-5 new messages have come in your box since others can see you are on-line (even if you use the no on-line status option) since you still appear in searches it seems.

And ditto to all the other responses in this topic about what we want to see in Dom(mes) being in self control and giving good personal character information. Also like tidbits on their Dom/sub views (just read a good Dominant versus Domineering type comparision that reflected well on the profiler). Maybe what we should post for review and reference is what we subs/slaves think are the BEST profiles that attract us, and stimulate us to response to them...but hey!.. we might prefer to keep those better opportunities to ourselves...smiles!

Chrissy

_____________________________

Healthy living, diet and exercise...and you say that's a bad thing?!!

(in reply to Rafters)

Post #: 38

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 7:12:36 AM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTrollLet me help you with my acclaimed form letter.

Lytl Slut fuk’n hor bithc _______ (insert name) get on Ur Neez and beg for da my~T power od _______(insert cocks name)! U don Know chit! Onse I fuk u up da ass U will b my lil slav slut hor 4 da res of u live. Iz da uber dominate and U da cum guzzling gutter slut! U will deleat ur profyl, give me all da passwords, where my koller, and pak all u chit and movd to my hous and pay all da bills!

Uberific Godzilla 2 ur Tokyo dom _____________ (insert D name)

That will be $34.95 thank you come again.

Damn, Troll! That was spot on. How did you know I got the same letter from AzzMaster just last night? ;) Lol.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 39

RE: Lack of response to genuine interest - 3/23/2007 7:13:15 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rafters

Do not slap your cock pic across their eyes and say "yoh bitch.." Well not until after the first date and you know it's their kink. Real girls have real teeth.

Sharp, pointy teeth....

And which some love to occasionally demonstrate the pointy sharpness of...

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 40

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