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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/23/2007 9:08:22 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
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I often treat women with mastectomy's. I guess the very first time I saw one it was shocking, yet just like anything else that is strange or odd to you when you first see it, after a couple of times it just doesnt matter anymore, you see the person, not the breast(or lack of)...I would hope that would be the same for people and their partners dealing with this issue too.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/23/2007 9:09:26 PM

BBBTBW

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This was a great question

I had a breast cancer scare when I was 27 years old. Fortunately it turned out to be a fiberous lump. But the scare at such a young age. Fortunately I haven't had any other issues like that again. However 7 years ago I was in a car accident and was injured very badly. I was told I would never walk again. I was in a relationship with a sub at that time. When he found out I would never walk again, he quietly packed his bags while I was still in the hospital and left. As it turns out, I only spent 2.5 years in a wheelchair and I have walked with only a slight limp since then.

It just goes to show that some are only after the asthetic value of a person and not the person. I am still the same person I was before my accident but the fact that I was faced with a lifetime in a wheelchair was more than he could deal with.

I don't want to hijack the thread but would it be alright if we extend the question to subs/slaves that seek DOMINANTS. How would it affect your desire to serve if the one that you seek has a disability or some form of amputation?

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/23/2007 9:11:59 PM

FukinTroll

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

I don't want to hijack the thread but would it be alright if we extend the question to subs/slaves that seek DOMINANTS. How would it affect your desire to serve if the one that you seek has a disability or some form of amputation?

I am a disabled D so by all means go ahead.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/23/2007 9:15:35 PM

sndman707

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I would think that most Dom/sub relationships are based on more than just physical apperance. The idea of being dominate or submisive is all mental. While a mastectomy is a radical change and would certinaly alter the ways a sub could be used, there are plenty of appealing activitys still availble. azzmaster makes a good point about loyalty, I think it would be deserved.

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Post #: 24

RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/23/2007 9:16:58 PM

BBBTBW

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Thanks. I have a 75% disability in my lower right extremity and a 25% disability in my left wrist. However, I don't let it stop me from doing much. Hell I went to Vegas last year and walked up and down the strip several times. Yes I was in HORRENDOUS PAIN, but I still did it. I don't let disabilities stop me from considering a slave and would hope that a potential slave would not let mine stop him/her from considering me.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/23/2007 9:27:47 PM

hisannabelle

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Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW
I don't want to hijack the thread but would it be alright if we extend the question to subs/slaves that seek DOMINANTS. How would it affect your desire to serve if the one that you seek has a disability or some form of amputation?

it wouldn't affect my desire to serve at all. He recently had a health scare (He's also qualified as disabled due to immune system issues), and as i've mentioned several times in other posts/on my profile, i also have health problems and am disabled. although not mobility impaired the majority of the time, i am at times and there's a distinct possibility that i will spend a good portion of my life in a wheelchair. that has never scared Him off. likewise, if He were mobility impaired, facing amputation, or anything else, it would not scare me off. i worry sometimes about losing Him because of our age difference - even though our health situations even it out a little bit, there's still a real possibility that i might end up as caretaker (assuming He doesn't) or He will be the first to go. that does scare me, but...for -me-, if that changed my desire to serve or to be with Him at all, i don't feel my submission would be worth a lot.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 3/23/2007 9:28:40 PM >

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/23/2007 9:34:41 PM

wandersalone

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I have been following this thread with interest. I had major surgery which thankfully saved my life a year ago and whilst I am so happy and grateful to be alive I do admit to having times when I look at my huge scars and oddly shaped torso and wonder if it would make a man think twice about me. I realise that I have no control over someone else so I am focusing on learning to (slowly) love my scars and to acknowledge that they help tell the story of my pretty amazing life. Smiles, just to add as I know that I am always curious when people post small parts of their story...I had a large tumour on my liver so most of my liver had to be removed (luckily it has all grown back tumour free so far) and the complications resulted in lots of scarring.

Would I consider a dominant who had scars/disabilities/amputations? If I was attracted to them for their personality, humour, complementary interests etc then the disability would be another facet of that person. And yes, I have had a dom in the past with a disability. I did intially have some reservations about starting a relationship with him but we discussed all of our concerns before committing to anything and it was a wonderful time in my life.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/23/2007 10:15:50 PM

sublizzie

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At my age the men within my age group tend to have physical issues of one sort or another. It's just a fact of life. But I've never been overly concerned about what someone was like on the outside. It's the inside that's really important to me. Granted, I have physical preferences in male physique, none of which are "normal", but that's not nearly as important as someone's brain and their heart.....and their dominance. Mustn't forget that part.

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Post #: 28

RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 12:41:08 AM

susie

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Just over 6 years ago I underwent surgery which left me with large scars on the stomach area. Whilst not a mastectomy I was left with something that many have said is "disgusting" and was hard for me to explain to people. The issues of when or how to bring it up in a potential relationship was a difficult one so I decided 3 years ago to go down the searching online route. I put a profile up on another bdsm website and as you would guess got loads of responses. I chatted to a lot of people and the usual response when I told them of my disability was "Oh thats disgusting. Sorry goodbye" A few were more open and continued to chat and a few I met but things did not gel. When I started chatting to Master I was upfront about things early on in our chats. He just kept saying it was fine. When I told him what others had said he replied "I am stronger than that". I think it was at that point that I realised he was going to be very special.

We have now been together for 2 and half years and during that time not only has he been totally supportive over my disability but he has also supported me through 2 cancer operations. I am so lucky to have found someone who sees ME the person instead of ME the outside shell.

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Post #: 29

RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 1:06:23 AM

pagansub77

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I've not faced the loss of a breast. I have had a triple bypass which left me with a long scar between the breasts as well as some scarring of my calves from harvesting the arteries. I was so unhappy with them that I hated to be seen naked, stopped wearing shirts that showed cleavage etc...

My then Dom cured me of that. He called the scars my badges of courage, said they were visible evidence that I am a survivor. I now dress in what I am comfortable in and if the scars show....so what? They are part of me. If someone cannot see past that to the person I am....it is their loss.

The reverse holds true as well. If I allow physical appearance to hold me back from getting to know someone, I am shortchanging myself as well as the person. I'm much more interested in what and how you think than in how large you are or whether you need a little blue pill to help you up.

YMMV

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 2:40:36 AM

restlessdreamer

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To each and every survivor brave enough to post a snippet of their life on this thread, I tip my hat. Thank for sharing hope and courage in the face of adversity.

You are all amazing!

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Post #: 31

RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 5:02:53 AM

Kramel

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Having a partner that has had a mastectomy wouldn't worry me half as much as the worry I would have that they were managing to cope with it. Personally I think it's rather shallow of the one partner to put what they see before them ahead of the person that's had to go through surgery to save their life. If you care for someone, the fact that they're alive is the greatest treasure of all.

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Post #: 32

RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 5:36:10 AM

velvetears

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My ex dominant was disabled and i cherished every moment i had with him. He was a very couragous man and did not allow the pain to hold him back, i admired him very much for it. He was not disabled when we first met, and it was never an issue for me. We aren't together any longer, but his having a disability has nothing to do with that decision.

i also know if i had lost a breast or some such thing he would have seen me through that and it would not have made a difference.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 5:48:44 AM

agirl

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There are few of us that have *perfect* bodies, regardless of surgery, even if we have all of our bits. A body isn't the whole package, it's not even the wrapping, to me..........it's part of a complete mesh of touch, responses, character, the way a person moves, the way they tilt their head, the way they sigh, their laugh.............and when I love someone their body simply is so attractive, I can't help but love all that makes them them. I become attracted to the parts that aren't *perfect,.... REALLY attracted. It's the uniqueness, I think, the fact that no-one else has that blend of all those things, except them, whether it be scars, a podgy tum or the way they think and behave.

agirl

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 6:44:16 AM

FreeDomUK

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A podgy tum! !!! ???

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 6:46:44 AM

LaTigresse

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My thoughts echo those of azz, LA and agirl.

I have often been asked what my "type" is. Meaning, what physically turns me on. I think I always drive them nuts with my vague answers. I do not have a "type". Sure there are body types that I will ogle more than others but that is irrelevant. It is the spirit of the person that attracts me, how we connect, the type of communication that happens.

I have had relationships with people that, if I had just seen a photograph or two, and only based attraction and compatibility on that alone, I would have never even gained an interest in. BUT, I got to know the person instead. Then ALL of them, body soul spirit, became wildly attractive. Because it was all a part of them.

I had an amazing relationship with someone that was a double amputee when I was in my twenties and they in their 40's. Via a photograph there was nothing good looking about this person at all. But the essence of the person......OMG, sexy as hell.

So, to answer your question. While I do have a certain affection for breasts, who doesn't, wether or not a woman has them or not, it doesn't matter to me at all. It is the person, how they cope with life, just everything about them, that matters, not a body part or lack thereof.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 6:52:14 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FreeDomUK

A podgy tum! !!! ???

Bloody hell..........sorry Master.

Hey, I might not have been referring to you!

There are a lot of podgy tums out there.

I have to say that it's so damn typical of you to respond to a *podgy tum* comment after ALL my posting over the last year or so........LOL

tink x

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Post #: 37

RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 10:32:13 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

and when I love someone their body simply is so attractive, I can't help but love all that makes them them. I become attracted to the parts that aren't *perfect,.... REALLY attracted. It's the uniqueness, I think, the fact that no-one else has that blend of all those things, except them, whether it be scars, a podgy tum or the way they think and behave.

agirl

I so relate to this! I have come to simply love and adore those things which are "imperfect" or unique about him. I put imperfect in quotes because to me, it's those imperfections which make him so deliciously perfect.

Um...sorry you called called on your podgy comment, lol.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 10:40:14 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

and when I love someone their body simply is so attractive, I can't help but love all that makes them them. I become attracted to the parts that aren't *perfect,.... REALLY attracted. It's the uniqueness, I think, the fact that no-one else has that blend of all those things, except them, whether it be scars, a podgy tum or the way they think and behave.

agirl

I so relate to this! I have come to simply love and adore those things which are "imperfect" or unique about him. I put imperfect in quotes because to me, it's those imperfections which make him so deliciously perfect.

Um...sorry you called called on your podgy comment, lol.

I described him as a *cold hearted reptile* and not a word, I mention that he has a *swinging brick for a heart* , not a word......I mention *podgy tum* in passing and look what happens....lol

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Post #: 39

RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 11:09:47 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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I would never abandon one when faced with medical problems.Attraction is of course at first in the physical but then the whole person after a while emerges..bounty

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