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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 11:12:28 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I described him as a *cold hearted reptile* and not a word, I mention that he has a *swinging brick for a heart* , not a word......I mention *podgy tum* in passing and look what happens....lol

LOL well...good luck tonight.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 11:38:43 AM

Seatonstomb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterNdorei

If anyone needs information on breast cancer prevention check ups and care for breast cancer when you have no health care, drop me a line on the other side.

i also am keeping a list of herbs to take (of course check with your doctor) that have helped some of the symptoms of chemo and radiation. If you know of anyone who could benefit, please drop me a line on the other side.

Master's dorei

That just needed repeating. Thank you so much.

Remember Guy breast cancer is not just something women have to worry about. It is very rare in men but the older you are the more likely you are to be so aflicted

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/24/2007 9:02:02 PM

Mustardseed

Posts: 291
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From: Seattle, WA
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I read this post to my Daddy and asked him his opinion. Since his mother died of breast cancer, he refuses to be biased against women who've had mastectomies. Granted, he'd be careful of the area (and the person) after surgery and be concerned that they'd be hypersenstive of the scar(s) after they'd healed, but if the person had been dear to them beforehand, they'd be dear to him afterward. It'd be a pity that they'd lost their breasts because he does like them, but ... oh, well. "Breasts don't make the woman."

As to myself, l have a kink for scar tissue anyway. I like breasts from time to time, but I don't think the absense of them would freak me out. I'd have another feature to be fascinated by.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 12:35:53 AM

themischievous1

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From: San Antonio, Texas
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I haven't had a chance to review all of the posts on this topic but I look forward to doing so; in the interim, however, this is easy for me to answer.

If I was interested in a particular woman and she was attractive to me mentally, emotionally, and physically -- her breasts or lack thereof wouldn't make a damn bit of difference, nor would the state of them. It's just packaging after all. It would be her I love and care for, not her breasts.

Most middle aged or older males and females are going to have various physical flaws in their appearance and possibly other physical challenges. I think these are to be expected, and to encounter a person who couldn't get beyond such challenges is to encounter a person who is incapable of the kind of character most of us desire in a significant other. By character, I'm speaking to someone who isn't shallow, who is loyal and capable of real love.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 1:13:52 AM

kate

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to leave someone when they are sick or to not give someone a chance becasue they had been sick is such a weak thing to do....... any man or women who would do this is not worthy of the amazingly strong women in question.....i know she is strong becasue she is a survivor..

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 5:46:37 AM

canupleaseme

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One of my closest vanilla friends lost her breasts last year. Her husband of 8 years left her. He couldnt cope with the sight of the scars after. She chose not to have reconstructive surgury and spent time and money instead on complately revamping herself. The worst part for her was losing her hair, she jokes that when she had her breast removed she managed to get rid of three useless lumps lol.
It took her a long time to adjust to her new look and she showed me one day what was left behind, I was really nervousabout looking becasue sometimes you cant control your facial reactions to stuff andi didnt want to upset her if I thought it looked bad I had no idea what to expect . And you know what she looked beautiful, the scars did look a bit strange but when you adjust to not seeing what your brain tell you you should be seeing she just looked lovely.
I pity her husband he lost one of the most beautiful inside and out people Ive ever met. I can understand how people in new realtionships or relationships that are based purely on play that invloves breasts a lot might shy away from a situation like this, but if my partner who I was in a commited relationship with had to lose a part of their exterior I think id love them so much for being so brave and well alive lol that i would just look past it and some scars can look honry or even feel nice I guess its the whole thing about liking something that most people would find a turn off its almost a bit taboo.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 5:57:19 AM

tangldupinblue

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my mother is a three time cancer survivor and had her right breast removed in 1975 before alot of the advances were made.she jokes alot about haveing to wear a prostectic (sp?) so me and my sisters never knew that there was "something wrong". a few years ago we talked her into getting a tatoo and she chose to get it dont over her scars, its a rose vine with leaves and flowers, we as a family went with her to get it done.

thanks to my mom we are all very aware of what we have to do in order to keep ourselves healthy, but to keep a sence of humor about it all....in her words...relax its only cancer.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 6:12:59 AM

kyraofMists

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This has been a wonderful thread to read. The possibility of breast cancer is not so remote for me. Three of my grandmother's sisters have died of breast cancer and my grandmother had a radical mastectomy many years ago.

In the few months before I travelled to see my Lord for the first time, I went through a huge scare of the doctors finding lumps in my breasts. He and I hadn't even met and he was hugely supportive through the entire tedious process. Even if it had not turned out to be nothing, he would still have wanted me to come up and still have wanted to have a relationship with me and the following quote explains why:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
It is the spirit of the person that attracts me, how we connect, the type of communication that happens.

In the following two years we have had a couple conversations about mastectomies and even though he absolutely lusts over my breasts and adores torturing them they are not what he is in love with. He is in love with me and he would love me even if I losts my breasts. My value is not in my body which will eventually get old, whithered and not so attractive; my value is not in the things that I can do; my value is in who I am as a person and that is who he is in love with.

Knight's kyra

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 7:28:48 AM

MrDiscipline44

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

How do you feel, I mean really feel and not the glossy fluff for the forum, about accepting a sub/slave who has had a mastectomy or double mastectomy?

I wouldn't. If I wanted a sub/or slave that looked like a guy when she laid face up (or face down for that matter) I'd have a male sub or slave. Since males are of no sexual interest to me, I won't have one.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 7:33:31 AM

FukinTroll

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

How do you feel, I mean really feel and not the glossy fluff for the forum, about accepting a sub/slave who has had a mastectomy or double mastectomy?

I wouldn't. If I wanted a sub/or slave that looked like a guy when she laid face up (or face down for that matter) I'd have a male sub or slave. Since males are of no sexual interest to me, I won't have one.

Thanks for your honesty MD.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 7:35:57 AM

MistressDoMe

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We all are going to get old if we are lucky.
Many of us will gain weight, some will lose their hair, most will have medical problems.
You can be walking one day, and wake up unable to walk the next day.
You can be healthy one day and wake up the next and be told you have a terminal disease.
You can cross the street and get hit by a bus, and be in a nursing home at say the age of 23.
Point is....
things happen to all of us and none of us get out alive.
If you base your relationships on how you look and how your partners look, I feel sorry for you.
It is sad that this thread even needs to exist.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 7:43:35 AM

FukinTroll

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

We all are going to get old if we are lucky.
Many of us will gain weight, some will lose their hair, most will have medical problems.
You can be walking one day, and wake up unable to walk the next day.
You can be healthy one day and wake up the next and be told you have a terminal disease.
You can cross the street and get hit by a bus, and be in a nursing home at say the age of 23.
Point is....
things happen to all of us and none of us get out alive.
If you base your relationships on how you look and how your partners look, I feel sorry for you.
It is sad that this thread even needs to exist.

I am very pleased he posted. He has the courage to state how he feels and that is commendable. His cards are on the table and I don't think it s any different than the "Too old, Too young, Too fat, Too skinny, etc.." preferences people have. He is not interested in entering into a relationship with one who has a Mastectomy, however I am sure he is considering the possibility of how he would react should it happen to one of his girls. He may not be prepared to post on the possibility, nevertheless he posted his preference and I appreciate it. Many of us do not need illusions that all people in BDSM are broadly accepting. I for one am not, however a mastectomy is not one of those issues that concern me, general health is.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 7:48:14 AM

MistressDoMe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

We all are going to get old if we are lucky.
Many of us will gain weight, some will lose their hair, most will have medical problems.
You can be walking one day, and wake up unable to walk the next day.
You can be healthy one day and wake up the next and be told you have a terminal disease.
You can cross the street and get hit by a bus, and be in a nursing home at say the age of 23.
Point is....
things happen to all of us and none of us get out alive.
If you base your relationships on how you look and how your partners look, I feel sorry for you.
It is sad that this thread even needs to exist.

I am very pleased he posted. He has the courage to state how he feels and that is commendable. His cards are on the table and I don't think it s any different than the "Too old, Too young, Too fat, Too skinny, etc.." preferences people have. He is not interested in entering into a relationship with one who has a Mastectomy, however I am sure he is considering the possibility of how he would react should it happen to one of his girls. He may not be prepared to post on the possibility, nevertheless he posted his preference and I appreciate it. Many of us do not need illusions that all people in BDSM are broadly accepting. I for one am not, however a mastectomy is not one of those issues that concern me, general health is.

True, but to me this thread is about people that are hung up on appearance, basically.
Many men leave their wives at 40 and get younger models.
Many men leave their wives after they have given them the best years of their lives, and 4 kids, etc.
for a woman 20 years younger.
This thread has a lot to do with maturity, and acceptance.
Some people go through their entire life with appearance meaning everything, some people do not.
Many commit suicide because they can not handle imperfections.
This has to do with a lot more than appearance, this has to do with your heart and soul, and what you are made of.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 7:51:55 AM

ExSteelAgain

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There are some beautiful thoughts expressed here. A brilliant, witty and fun person is not any less so because she develops a physical problem. Now I know why I enjoy hanging out around you folks on here so much.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 7:53:16 AM

FukinTroll

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I agree with you. However this thread was started for our members to reflect on the possibility, by many gracious posts, and to be a bit of support to those who have faced it. We are a rainbow of idea's and feelings, and many are stark contrasts. If we were all the same every OP would be followed by and ocean of "Ditto".

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 7:56:15 AM

LaTigresse

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I agree with Troll, the fact that I disagree with MD or find his opinion shitty, still has no bearing on the fact that I am glad he is being honest about it.

ALL of us are, to some extent, hung up on physical attributes or the lack thereof in a partner. I am grossed out by bad personal hygiene. A person can be gorgeous and a super nice, intelligent human being but if they stink....no dice. An extremely over or underweight person would probably not trip my trigger either as I see both as an indication of mental issues I do not want to deal with. Also, realistically, a person that is seriously allergic would simply not work in my life. Rural(dust, pollen, etc) and animals abound.

I may not like someone's personal biases but I respect them when they are honest about them.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 3/25/2007 7:57:33 AM >

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 8:00:22 AM

hisannabelle

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mrdiscipline,

i appreciate your honesty as well. i am curious here, though, and not being sarcastic - how would you want your partner to feel if you had testicular cancer and you needed an inguinal orchiectomy (removal of one or both testicles)?

mistressdome,

i agree that it's sad that this thread even needs to exist. but i for one have appreciated all the responses...yes, it's depressing that we have to ask questions like this in this society, but to see people sharing their stories and to see a heartfelt discussion going on is pretty awesome. it's like exsteel said:

quote:

There are some beautiful thoughts expressed here. A brilliant, witty and fun person is not any less so because she develops a physical problem. Now I know why I enjoy hanging out around you folks on here so much.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 8:12:22 AM

finedominator

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A mastectomy unfortunately has a stigma attached to it. A woman is no less a woman because she loses a breast or both. My wife lost her battle with breast cancer and has been gone 5 years. We had 6 months together after her mastectomy and it changed nothing about her. Yes her appearance changed, but we still had a great sex life and I miss her terribly. I would not rule out a sub for this, for alot of reasons. I realize we all have preferences, and these should be respected as they are part of each of us. We are an appearance driven society. Some may not like my appearance, I'm told I'm attractive, have all my hair. I see imperfections when I look in the mirror and they are what they are, I ain't changing anything niether should you. Be honest, it's a very attractive trait.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 8:13:50 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe

We all are going to get old if we are lucky.
Many of us will gain weight, some will lose their hair, most will have medical problems.
You can be walking one day, and wake up unable to walk the next day.
You can be healthy one day and wake up the next and be told you have a terminal disease.
You can cross the street and get hit by a bus, and be in a nursing home at say the age of 23.
Point is....
things happen to all of us and none of us get out alive.
If you base your relationships on how you look and how your partners look, I feel sorry for you.
It is sad that this thread even needs to exist.

You're right. Things happen to all of us. And whether they are good or bad, we will be attractive to some and not be attractive to others. Just as now. Reguardless of how self rightous you wish to be, even you have a limit as to who you will have as a sub/slave. I just expressed mine.

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RE: Sub/slaves with mastectomy’s. - 3/25/2007 8:14:48 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

I agree with you. However this thread was started for our members to reflect on the possibility, by many gracious posts, and to be a bit of support to those who have faced it. We are a rainbow of idea's and feelings, and many are stark contrasts. If we were all the same every OP would be followed by and ocean of "Ditto".

I agree. In fact, I have been surprised that more opinions such as MrD's were not expressed. I would venture to guess they have not been because the obvious reaction of chastisement prevented them from bothering. While I would disagree that a mastecticized (is that a word?) woman looks like a man, he is certain entitled to his opinion, as is anyone else around here. It's not like I haven't read any posts from females with similar views about males. I have known more than one girl who has said she would not be with a man who had penile dysfunction. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. I've been passed by because of my looks before. I've also been scooped up because of my looks. Life is what it is.

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