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ORIGINAL: CdnExplorer

Haha I don't think you want my memory bank. Maybe I've just got really bad luck, but I seem to run across tons of Dommes who expect me to fall at their feet without even an introduction. Almost as bad are the ones that think I'm going to "pay tribute" to some stranger I've never met and never will (seems that the net is flooded with those types). I feel pretty damn lucky to have found someone who both understands me and doesn't try to make me fit into some cookie cutter image of submission. It could have worked out differently, and I'd have been running from myself again. Really has been an uplifting experience.

As an aside I did go to a munch run by a small group recently, and didn't meet any of those types there. So it probably is mainly an internet thing, where the medium takes the personal contact / accountability out of the picture. I imagine it's a lot easier to treat a screen name like dirt.

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ORIGINAL: stella40


... power is to be exchanged and shared if it is to mean anything.

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I've never understood that saying... just how can you be anything other than who you are? 

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I've never understood that saying... just how can you be anything other than who you are? 

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

Fast reply to no one in particular.

You remind me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of voodoo.
Who do?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the babe.


Upon reading this thread, that was ironically the first thing that sprang to mind (yes, my mind works in weird ways sometimes ).  As I pondered both what I'd read in this thread and what some part of my subconscious was apparently trying to tell me with the above bit, I eventually came to ask a question.

What power?

I see threads like this every now and then.  Sometimes posted by submissives, sometimes by dominants, sometimes its on a non lifestyle site posted by someone wrestling with that same basic question (I am woman, hear me roar.... I am a modern man, hear me roar... I am a (insert nationality, creed, religion, political group, etc.), hear me roar).  Regardless of who it is, as I think about it, the one question I find myself asking of them all is simply...

What power?

When someone says they are powerful, or that they have power, or that they are exchanging power... what is really meant?  What power?  Is it just some warm fuzzy feel-good proclamation intended to make someone or specific groups of people feel good about who they are?  Is it based on something tangible, on merit of some kind perhaps?  Is it something people say simply because it sounds good?  Were they awarded a certificate for it?  How many who discuss it can also define it?  If you believe you are powerful... what does that mean in practical, definable, specific terms?  What power?  And of what real value (if any) is that power? 

How can anyone say they or anyone else is powerful if we don't first know what sort of power we mean?  We might say someone who is wealthy is powerful, because of what they can do using that wealth.  We might say someone who is very charismatic has a kind of personal power.  We often view leaders as being "powerful" while those who follow are "weak" or at least not as powerful.  Most often we seem to measure how "powerful" a person is by how much they can influence, affect, and/or control other people as well as how many people they can affect.  Thus both a tyrrant and conscionable leader can be seen as powerful (being powerful does equate with being moral or "good").  Someone like John Warren might be viewed as a more "powerful" dominant that say, me, because he's written books, attended events, given lectures, etc. and thus affect far more people in this lifestyle than me.  Some view having a higher post count than someone else as making them more "powerful".  We prize power, we covet it, we admire it... we associate having it as being good. But is it?  Is the way we measure our "power" valid and based in tangible facts... or just a pleasant self delusion to prop up our self esteem?  And even if some people are powerful, what does that mean?  Someone might be powerful because they are wealthy, and some will not care... some will even resent them for it.

Are submissives powerful?  First define what power.
Are submissives weak?  If they are, why do we so often seem to despise it.  In nature there are always some who are stronger than others, some who are weaker than others.  Being weaker is, of itself, not "bad" just as being powerful does not mean someone is "good".  Yet we so often mindlessly despise the weak and admire the "powerful".  A pride of lions is composed of both stronger and weaker members, yet its survival is dependant on their ability to work together... a lion who is forced out and alone often does not survive for long no matter how "powerful" they might individually be.

Is being "powerful" or stronger really all that great?  After all, as Darwin put it,"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, but those most responsive to change."  As bullheaded as some of us dominants can be, I can't help but wonder if the submissives who are sometimes called "weaker" but are also often more adaptive aren't the ones most likely to survive.

Personally, I don't give a damn how powerful any of you thinks you are... neither do I care if you are weak.  I care more who you are as a person, and whether you are powerful or not, I care more what you do with whatever skills, abilities, talents, or "power" you possess.  Don't tell me about how powerful you are or think you are... if you wish to impress me, tell me instead what worthy things you have done with it.

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ORIGINAL: SleeplessGypsy

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happypervert
There is a difference between power and delusions of grandeur, and confidence is great but being blindly egotistical isn't. You should consider the possibility that you have been victimized by that phony southern charm y'all call decorum down there, and just like in Gone With The Wind your so called admirers may flatter you to your face and then ridicule you behind your back. As one who plays that game so well you should see it when it is being played on you because it can be folly if you let it go to your head.

That can result  in one becoming marginalized, and instead of having the broad scope of power and influence as you'd like to believe your power becomes limited to a select group of like minded individuals. Of course, that happens to some extent anyway as folks gravitate toward others like them, but at least they don't unintentionally alienate others by being so overconfident they act like asses while falsely believing they are charming a world of admirers. That's why humility is useful as a self-imposed reality check, and I believe it can be the source of even greater power.

Bravo! Bravo!

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ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister
Eventually with enough time and practice - it beomes second nature, to the point where you dont even know you do it anymore.  By then, you arent "you" - you are something you have created.  Which is you... but is not you... Eventually you forget who you really are....... 

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ORIGINAL: losttreasure

A powerful submissive?  Can this be?

Oh hell, yeah!   

I'm a smart, sexy, and powerful woman.  I have a brain and a body and I know how to use them.  I am sex personified, wrapped in a shell of class.  I can light up a room with my presence, causing men to lust after me and women to want to be me.  I can charm crowds with clever wit and stylish grace... and stun the observant with rare insight and profound wisdom.

Does this make me less submissive? 

Not in the least. 

My submission is more valuable because of it.  I am not a common domestic breed - I am the magnificent wild kind that bows only to the elite.  I am his showpiece... to be displayed at his whim, or cherished for his sole pleasure.

Being a source of pride for FirmhandKY elates me, yet I am humbled at his feet.

Without pride in myself and abilities, I would have so much less to offer him.

Do you meld this type of dichotomy into your dynamic?

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It is also a quick way of saying "I am more that can ever be described through the limited media of words.  I am an experience of myself within this understanding of reality that simply is."

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I spent most of my life doing that too, which wasn't healthy at all. It creates a situation where you can say that you're being yourself as much as you want, but as much as you've deceived yourself you know on some level that things just aren't right. It's a pretty strong emotional wall. Now I'm no mental health professional, but I think most people end up in this kind of situation as a result of some kind of hurt...then either just shut off socially or try to find acceptance wherever they can.

It might seem odd, but its very real.

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ORIGINAL: raverj

"Submission is not an abdication of power, it is a dedication of it"

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ORIGINAL: MsParados

...I shudder at the word elite too, it is based in being better than another in mind, money or training.... Seals and Rangers are elite, so is Paris Hilton (by proxy anyway) But I do not believe that there is an elite class in any section of the alt life.

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ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Understand that actions will always speak louder than words.