behindmirrors
Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
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(Fast reply, long thought)
This thread has fascinated me, mostly because of my own morality, which claims pride (and selfishness) as virtues- rational self-interest, basically. I don't support the idea of self-sacrifice, or of an altruistic mindset being a motivation for behavior- not to say that altruism itself is wrong, but that it is wrong when done for a motivation that is incorrect (i.e. because one "should", or that it is a way in which to obtain virtue, that the self only exists in relation to others, etc.). Self-esteem is critical to one's ability to pursue happiness, to know that they deserve what they pursue- and the pursuit of happiness is a moral ideal, the highest purpose of life. This is why I say often that my service to my Dom is selfish (as I am serving my own motivations and desires, and not simply living for his purposes), and that I am a proud person. I do not "toot my own horn" constantly- it's a quiet awareness, something that is asserted less directly than the words I am writing here.
I have seen many here that I disagree with in their stances on the subject, and many with whom I agree. The point I'm arriving at is that this has directly corresponded to some things/people I am dealing with in my own life, and has given me some additional pressure for personal insight on the matter, which I have done much of.
I think that losttreasure has made some excellent points in her arguements, and that she has a fundamental right to her pride, one that should be respected. Although my pride stems from a different source, and has different expressions, I recognize hers as being her own- and being valid as her own. This is why I have given her my gratitude for her post, and for her very literal and direct statement of personal power and self-worth. I cannot give my gratitude as alms, and I cannot give it because it is sacrificing of myself to do so- I give it as my recognition of her own strength to say what she said, unapologetically, and to defend it.
Pride, unfortunately, as well as selfishness, have come to mean to many that one is only interested in themselves, and that they would sacrifice others in order to obtain their own objectives- which is a faulty principle- no person can live as the means to the end of another, as a person is a means and an end in themselves. Selfishness is, to me and others who hold the same morals I do, a rational self-interest, based in the principle that in order to continue to exist, and to have the best possible life, one must act in a way that best serves their own self. Pride, then, is the expression of knowledge of self-worth- and extension of self-esteem. It is not self-aggrandisement, but instead, a recognition of self. To attempt to convince your self that you are more than you are is as much of a falsehood as trying to convince your self that you are less. To be unafraid of your self, and to acknowledge that self in a positive way is pride- and that recogntion and pride, with the reason and introspection that is needed to get to that point, is power. You then know your self, and your capabilities- without being grandiose, without cutting yourself short. It is an obtainment of personal power.
As Ayn Rand once said: "You cannot say 'I love you' if you cannot say the 'I'."
Without pride and recognition of the self, then such a phrase could not have all the power that it does. A person who does not believe in the self could not say this phrase in any way with value- and a person who believes they have no value would know on some level that the words also carried nothing.
In a power exchange, in my own morality, there is a trade agreement which is mutually beneficial. Would any one of you here submit or dominate if it did not fulfill you in some way? Would you submit to, or dominate, a person who made you unhappy? On these boards, there is so much complaint about the relationships gone wrong, where one partner or the other is not fulfilling anymore- and the most common advice is to "move on", to "not settle for less than you deserve". These phrases come from the idea of a trade agreement that is mutually beneficial- and that comes from those who know they have worth, and also see worth in others. It also comes from the idea of self-worth, which belongs to pride, and to personal power through this pride, that one should be deserving of another in which they find the trade they are making satisfying.
In the end, there is no harm in knowing one's own power, and no harm in making claim to it- there is virtue. It is not exclusionary, as any individual here has this right. It is not a claim of superiority, as it reflects on the individual and their judgement of themselves, not their judgement of others as compared to their own self. It is, in the basest possible way, a claim to life, and to their own pursuit of happiness.
Make of it what you will, but I have said my piece.
behindmirrors.
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RE: The Powerful Submissive... - 
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