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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 6:48:03 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I just want to thank everyone for the thoughtful responses.. and then to thank you as well domiguy... lol

I thought it might interest some to know where this idea came from, for me.  I was watching a movie for work last night about a man who was released from prison and who is trying to assimilate back into society after having been (and from a psychological stand point he still is, you can not 'cure' pedophilia) a convicted sex offender.

There is a moment where,  when finally in a 'healthy' adult relationship, he is asked by his female partner about his 'dark past' (she, knowing he was in prison, but not why).  There is a moment where he visibly struggles, with what I perceived to be my question here. 

It was a very powerful moment in the film.


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We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:05:40 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Right time is right up front.  Lotsa reasons for that but, the main one is trust comes easier when you ain't harboring shit on yourself.  Skunk smells his on hole first, kinda thing.

Ron


I sort of disagree.
I through fault of my own, and some things no fault of my own have had a lot of situations in my life others I love need to know about me to see where my thinking processes come from.
I think if I told people half of the awful crap in my life right up front they'd run screaming in the streets, think I was crazy, think I was lying or just think the wounds I carry are too deep to want to know me well..
I think as the mutual friendship grows the mutual right to my bad stuff opens up slowly at first, and then in more volume as the relationship and trust deepens to the point the knowledge of my self divulging is necessary.
Way before I'd ever live with someone, collar to someone, become a sub of someone, or marry someone all the information on both sides should be conveyed.
suzanne

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:08:29 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, thank you for telling me that right up front.  I do appreciate it.

CrossDressingDom

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:17:31 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

CrossDressingDom

Ohhhh to be a fly on the wall at your place that day!!!!!

What color panties did you wear? Cotton, nylon, or silk? Thong, high cut, or briefs?
How'd you like the feel of hose on your legs swishing when you walked?
Do tell....
suzanne

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:21:05 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL,

so some things are more pressing than others in the discovery.

AtticaDom

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:25:16 AM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Greetings..~smiles~

Good Topic..

Honestly I can say that Master is the first person Ever in my life that I have felt comfortable enough with to just expel every thought and deed in my life that always created a feeling of dread or fear if I told others. I have never felt that with Master and it is a feeling of freedom like I've never known before. Master thankfully feels the same way, and it's a golden street to walk on.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

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"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to puella)
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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:33:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		To pull up another Alanis Quote:
"You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it"

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:46:31 AM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		    I have definitely struggled with this issue.  I 'look' sweet and innocent (yes, even at my age  lol), but I have made many mistakes, done some really stupid things and survived some pretty awful things, as well as being a bit of a 'wild child' in my younger years.  Telling these things to NChaka took time and a great deal of patience on His part.  It took a few million questions on His part as well.  None of my struggle was because of Him, it was (and to a cretain extent still is) all because of me. 
    Everything has been disclosed now of course, but when something new comes up, sometimes I still struggle with "Will He accept this part of me too?"  Even though my head knows He will, convincing my 'heart' of that is not so easy.  I do not let it prevent me telling Him, but I still face that fear of rejection inside.  The upside is that I still feel that sense of awe and profound gratitude when He reassures me that all is well and that He is glad I trust Him with the deepest secrets of my soul.  Those are moments when I fall at His feet in humble reverence of His compassion, kindness and love for me.  His complete acceptance of me is one of the greatest gifts He gives me.


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I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to puella)
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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:48:12 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		It takes time and comfort to reveal yourself. I met this gal and I think I really dug her cause I was too loose to fake
I said, "I'm hurt." She said, "Honey let me heal it".
And we danced all night to a soul fairy band
and she kissed me just right like only a lonely angel can
She felt so nice, just as soft as a spirit in the night (all night)
In the night (all night). Janey don't know what she do to you
Like a spirit in the night (all night), in the night (all night)
Stand right up and let her shoot through me.

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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 7:49:36 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Too late there buddy, we heard it from the Brothers Grimm a long time ago.....see how this shit can fuck you up?

Ron




LOLOLOL!!! and the moral of that story is...don't hold ya shit back!

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"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 8:13:36 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Or your gonna need more fibre.

As to the question.....it's almost a part of my courtship style.

In the beginning of.....hmmmm, I am kinda getting interested in this person. It's time to start seeing if I can scare her away. Start telling all my stupid mistakes we call, life learning experiences. Probing for her's. Weirdly enough I toss the big ones out there first. Or at least, what I perceive as being the big ones. On occasion I have misjudged. Ceist la vie'

The way I look at it, if we can still be interested in one another AFTER all the telling......it's got a chance.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 3/27/2007 8:52:13 AM >

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 8:31:45 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		LaTigresse what is the point of telling her anything?? Let things come out naturaly. If you feel the need to confess go to church.  

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 8:39:19 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		FR.

Of course, the original question doesn't consider this:

"I'll leave you if you don't tell Me, too."

Just fueling the paranoia fire.

E.

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"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 8:48:24 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		Got a few skeletons, demons, fears etc. that could possibly be deal breakers for some. Once I get comfortable around someone and the walls come down abit I let them know. They're gonna find out about them sooner or later so I try and let it out asap....but somewhat of a  "comfort" zone has to be reached first....

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 8:51:28 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

LaTigresse what is the point of telling her anything?? Let things come out naturaly. If you feel the need to confess go to church.  


Oh but Dnomyar, you show how little you know about women. The point in the telling is ........well there is so much I could say but I doubt you would understand. Women are wonderful, curious and complex creatures sometimes. Lucky is the hetro man that understands this and works with it rather than fight it. Luckier still is the lesbian that knows it innately and shares it rather than just, use it.

I was going to explain it but found the explanation would leave too many women even more vulnerable to someone that would use it for evil rather than good so I decided to erase it..............


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 8:58:31 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

"I spent time in prison" is a bit different then "I was raped".


Oh, there might be some overlap.



ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 9:15:18 AM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		What an interesting topic:)  
After spending two years doing some crazy assed things with my life and making lots of skeletons for my closet I realised that to be happy with myself and to eventually find a good lasting relationship that I had to be honest with myself and anyone else who would come into my life.  My closest friends know everything about me and me them we have excellent relationships because we understand each other more.  When i met my boy we made friends first over 6 months of friendship that was so close we talked about everything. There isnt anything i havent told him about thing ih ave done etc and severalof them I wouldnt of blamed him walking away from me from. I knew if I took that risk and he was still here he was special and he turned outto be just that.

But i spent a long time being ok myself with my skeletons first, I think if i felt ashamed or full of regret I wouldnt of been able to tell him those things at all becasue tey would be an issue i had a lot.

I wouldnt tell just anyone things though.I think some things depend on who your telling lol

I would just like to add I didnt do anything bad bad bad lol


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Proud mistress

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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 11:23:17 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		If you don't swallow, that should be the first statement out of your mouth, even before you blink.

And yeah, I'm gonna leave you for it.

BlowMaster

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 1:18:22 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		i always felt like that in regards to my past/up bringing/childhood. D is the first one i told the whole truth to [just exactly how "white trash" i REALLY was]. i dont know if i could tell anyone else.

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


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RE: You'll leave me if I tell you... - 3/27/2007 1:27:26 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		 

<Sspewwwwwwwwwwssssssssssssssssss water on monitor>
 
sheeshhhhhhhhh!!!
 
b

(in reply to mnottertail)
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