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What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 8:28:22 AM

Shylahgirl

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Joined: 8/28/2006
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What really makes a Master/Mistress?

I know that there are alot of people out there who just slap master or mistress on their name and start collecting subs/slaves.

Everyone starts off in the fictional world of BDSM when they start, at what point does the master/mistress step out of the fiction that got them started and become a Master/Mistress in real life?

Shylah

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RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 8:33:40 AM

thetammyjo

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I become a mistress when I have an actual slave that I own.

Otherwise I may be a dominant and a sadist, but I am really just and I wouldn't claim a role title like mistress or master.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

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RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 8:44:38 AM

Padriag

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Joined: 3/30/2005
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You'll get a lot of answers and I'm gonna guess here that 90% of them will be totally different. That's par for the course. Me personally, I'd say a person starts actually becoming a Master/Mistress when they get their head out of their ass and figure out that it starts with learning to control themselves first. Probably somewhere around the time they get a clue that all the pretty titles in the world don't make them anything except somebody with too much time on their hands and that its the substance behind the style that actually matters. And maybe, about the time when they realize that 99% of the people worth knowing don't give a damn about GrandMasterB because its just another meaningless self appointed label but when Bob learns to be himself, project a little confident assertiveness while treating others with some basic courtesy and having just enough humiliy to realize just how much he still has to learn. Somewhere around then a person starts actually acting like someone most submissives might possibly respect as a Master/Mistress. But hey, that's just my opinion.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

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RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 8:45:34 AM

Shylahgirl

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Joined: 8/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I become a mistress when I have an actual slave that I own.

Otherwise I may be a dominant and a sadist, but I am really just and I wouldn't claim a role title like mistress or master.

That's all?

You just have to own someone to have acheved that title of Mistress?

(honest question, not trying to be rude)

Shylah

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RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 8:45:44 AM

spanklette

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Joined: 2/22/2005
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Well, I think the first thing you have to consider is what people master? There are no real tests, so we can only go by what people say they have mastered, until they prove otherwise.

Just like being in a professional setting, there are people that are better at some things than others. For some it may take a lifetime to master a certain technique but five minutes to master a person's mind.

Because there is no way to quantify what a Master or Mistress truly is...there are no tests. Can you imagine..."Please pick up your pencils, your time starts now."

As far as I'm concerned, until they prove me otherwise...a Master or a Mistress is what they say they are when they say they are.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

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RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 8:49:39 AM

MstrStoney

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Joined: 2/21/2007
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For me ,It took years to Master what I wanted to be like . Does this Make me a Master? To Me it does . But one has to Master himself or her self in order to Master any one or any thing eles in life . I think thew key is to know your self .
Just my opinion
MstrStoney

(in reply to Padriag)

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RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 8:51:33 AM

jauntyone

Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

What really makes a Master/Mistress?

I know that there are alot of people out there who just slap master or mistress on their name and start collecting subs/slaves.

Everyone starts off in the fictional world of BDSM when they start, at what point does the master/mistress step out of the fiction that got them started and become a Master/Mistress in real life?

Shylah

Greetings

I can not answer what makes a Master a Master; I can however state that the only thing that makes me a slave is his ownership of me.

I have a question though. What fictional world of BDSM are you referring to? Just curious is all.

I wish you well

melissa

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 7

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 8:59:39 AM

vield

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In my opinion the "m" does not become an "M" to me unless the person has knowledge (not necessarily experience), caring, honor, honesty, self confidence and great courtesy to those of any power level.
In a personal connection with me the "M" does not get established for myself or for the other person into a relationship unless the charismatic flow of energy between us takes us both to that point. Without this mutual flow of submissive and dominant energy there can be play but nothing deeper.

_____________________________

As always, your mileage may vary!

vield

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 8

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:08:00 AM

PONYSEEKER

Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I become a mistress when I have an actual slave that I own.

Otherwise I may be a dominant and a sadist, but I am really just and I wouldn't claim a role title like mistress or master.

That's all?

You just have to own someone to have acheved that title of Mistress?

(honest question, not trying to be rude)

Shylah

As far as I know thats it and I see it the same way thetammyjo sees it. Considering the fact that no slave or sub is truly owned and simply offer themselves up to the lifestyle and that everyone is different there really is no qualifications to the title because it is really not a true title but more of what two people in relationship see in one another and it defines the rolls people have when communicating. You cant really say that someone has to master a particular thing in order to become a master because not every dominant studies the same stuff. I know a large amount about suspention bondage because that is what I am into however I know nothing of knife play because I have never known a sub that was into it. I consider myself a dom because of my basic personality and goals however I dont consider myself a master until a sub is calling me Master or Sir which in tern is a sign that that particular person sees themselves subserviant to me or as a person of authority or who could take authority over them. In the vanilla world when I am at work my assistant for instance does not call me Master however she may think of me as an asshole hence the dom personality. I am only a master in the presence of those that choose to recognize it. I kind of view all of this in some ways a game, but a very seriouse game because for instance if I was in court room and a woman began refering to me as master the others in the room would not agree and probably find her calling me that very disstressful. With all that in mind it becomes posible because of the subculture for people to kind of loose themselves in it and just take it all a little bit to seriously especially when it comes to defining things. We need a language and terminology so that we can all communicate what is going on to one another and to learn more but beyond that everything is what you make it based on the interactions between yourself and your significant other. Thats how I see it anyways. Dont look for things cut in granit when it comes to this but mearly remain open minded and fluidic to the posibilities of what will make your life happy not how the population in general will view things. This life style is not accepted by the general population and many of the people in it dont fit in that well which is why this exists so dont make this subculture as bad as real culture by trying to attach labels and hiarchies to create a subculture as bad and demanding of the culture you are modifiing. Hope that kind of makes sense.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 9

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:09:35 AM

MyMasterStephen

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Joined: 8/16/2005
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So far as I am concerned, only one thing can make a Master...

...a slave.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:10:03 AM

tricia

Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I don't think my Master considers himself a master of anything - except me. He doesn't call himself a master or refer to himself as a master outside of our relationship. He's my Master but not a master. When speaking of him here, I call him "my Master" simply because it's much shorter than calling him my deliciously flawed, naturally strong, dominant man of my dreams.

edited to add, i may reconsider that - i kinda like it!

< Message edited by tricia -- 3/30/2007 9:11:39 AM >

(in reply to vield)

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RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:11:45 AM

DRENCH

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline

Greetings from Dallas! I didn't start out in the fiction.. .I started out with American Equality and surpressing the parts of myself that put me on the Master/Dom side of the fence... but some of my more submissive friends got me thinking about all this. The rest of the story, and my definition of a Master, have been on my profile for a while. Tell me what you think.

DRENCH

(in reply to vield)

Post #: 12

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:12:59 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Pretty much the same as those sub/slaves with their self-imposed titles.

By their works you shall know them. All the talk and posturing in the world will not make you one. When others see you as such without you having to say a word.. then you can feel validated.

In short: If you have to TELL someone you are master/mistress/sub/slave..then you probably haven't earned the title.

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 13

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:19:46 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

What really makes a Master/Mistress?

One becomes a Master or a Mistress by owning or keeping an animal, slave or servant.

The ideal finishing characteristics I believe your question points to falls along the lines of self-actualization, self-sufficiency, human understanding, the ability to lead, and a robust propensity to dominate. A fertile imagination, the power to operate outside of social / moral trammels and a certain darkness are qualities that enrich, in my experience.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:33:54 AM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I'm not sure I agree with you that a Master is only a Master once he owns a slave. I have met many Masters who did not own slaves, and I would never consider them less than a Master.

There are certain people who are only Masters when they own slaves...but not all. At least, in my opinion, that is.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to MyMasterStephen)

Post #: 15

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:36:13 AM

Kris2012

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Joined: 3/22/2007
Status: offline

O.K. I've seen a few people so far who have said, "owning a slave" in responce to the question. So, I have another question. Is that really all it takes to be a Master/Mistress? As you can see from my posts, I am completely new to this community. I've read through a few sites and I'm in the middle of my first real book. From what I've read and what I know of myself I would consider myself a Dom. So at this point... all I have to do is go out and get a sub and I'm a Mistress? ;:? Somehow... That doesn't sound right. Or am I misunderstanding you guys?

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 16

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:39:45 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

What really makes a Master/Mistress?

I know that there are alot of people out there who just slap master or mistress on their name and start collecting subs/slaves.

Everyone starts off in the fictional world of BDSM when they start, at what point does the master/mistress step out of the fiction that got them started and become a Master/Mistress in real life?

Shylah

To me, owning a slave for a decent amount of time, at least a few years (in real life of course). Thats my base definition but I wouldn't personally consider someone a master or mistress just based on that, but thats the base definition I would use for when I think someone should call themselves a master or mistress.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 3/30/2007 9:42:19 AM >

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 17

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:41:39 AM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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I just wanted to point out that some of us started doing it before it became a fad. Not everyone started out in the fictional world of bdsm, some people fell into it before it was identified.
As for when someone becomes a master.. I would say when they have developed their personality enough that people crave to comply. Or, for some of them, when they can find a slave to cater to their imagination.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

Everyone starts off in the fictional world of BDSM when they start, at what point does the master/mistress step out of the fiction that got them started and become a Master/Mistress in real life?

Shylah

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 18

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:44:24 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

_____________________________

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.

I know this is off topic but I just wanted to say every time I see your signature line I chuckle because there isn't a month that doesn't go by that my owner doesn't say that exact line to me (and since we've been together for several years i've heard it a lot).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 19

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:44:44 AM

Demonwolf

Posts: 14
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

You must master yourself, before you can truly really start mastering those you wish to have under you. Once you master the art of how you want to be a Master in D/s, then you can start to take the journey of those submissive/slaves in to there depth and most inner feelings of submission. For me it about a lifetime of experience that make me who I am and even though I have master myself well, I think I can improve even more. So for me it a continue growth of Mastery , which is developed by life experience in this kinky world of D/s.

_____________________________

Kinky is using a chicken feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken.Edge Play is when you do piercings with the bones.

(in reply to Kris2012)

Post #: 20

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