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RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:45:20 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
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A Master or Mistress should be able to accept the mantle of responsibility for those that willingly give their lives over to the M's control. They should have patterns in their house that enforce standards that keep the unit emotionally healthy and moving forward to common goals. A Master should have a good training regiment in place, good protocols in place, and a learning path in place for all in their home.
And a Master or Mistress should take care of his/her property in ways that show they respect and appreciate having someone as their possession.
suzanne

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 21

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:46:09 AM

spanklette

Posts: 882
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There are way to many variables and opinions for one answer. The answer for you though, is that you are a Mistress when you feel that you are. It's your self-identification at stake. You are you...there are way too many arguments about labels to clearly answer your question.

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~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Kris2012)

Post #: 22

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:47:27 AM

WilliamWizer

Posts: 223
Joined: 3/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Pretty much the same as those sub/slaves with their self-imposed titles.

By their works you shall know them. All the talk and posturing in the world will not make you one. When others see you as such without you having to say a word.. then you can feel validated.

In short: If you have to TELL someone you are master/mistress/sub/slave..then you probably haven't earned the title.

I have read all the answers that people has post and the one in my humble opinion more near the truth is what Lotus said. If you have to tell someone that you are a master/mistress/sub/slave then you probably are not one.

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There's only two rules for a sub:
- she can do anything her Master didn't forbid her.
- she only needs to do what her Master told her to do.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 23

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:47:57 AM

puella

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The 'Shift' key.

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We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

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"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 24

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:48:21 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Heheh... You know the line really isn't complete unless you make the Bak Bakkkkkkk super chicken sound at the end.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

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You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.

I know this is off topic but I just wanted to say every time I see your signature line I chuckle because there isn't a month that doesn't go by that my owner doesn't say that exact line to me (and since we've been together for several years i've heard it a lot).

C~

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 25

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 9:56:30 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

Everyone starts off in the fictional world of BDSM when they start, at what point does the master/mistress step out of the fiction that got them started and become a Master/Mistress in real life?

Shylah

Where did this idea come from? Fiction played no part of who i am as a sub, nor i suspect did it for many other doms or subs out there.
The first two definitions in the dictionary are interesting, one supports what people here have been saying and one sort of negates it:

Dictionary Definitions
1.
a person with the ability or power to use, control, or dispose of something: a master of six languages; to be master of one's fate.
2.
an owner of a slave, animal, etc.

So the question would be just because you own a slave, if you cannot "use and control" them are you really a Master? What if you owned a slave and she died - are you no longer a Master, even if said slave was owned for 20 years? i am a mother and if my children were to die i would go to my grave feeling and identifying as a mother. If i never had any children that's another story.

i think to be a Master you have to have skills and abilities and the respect of those around you. i think many who like to be called "Master" enjoy it because it gives them a sense of power. Someone truly confident doesn't need this kind of affirmation from others.

< Message edited by velvetears -- 3/30/2007 9:58:30 AM >

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Post #: 26

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 10:04:28 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
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From: South Central CO
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

I don't think my Master considers himself a master of anything - except me. He doesn't call himself a master or refer to himself as a master outside of our relationship. He's my Master but not a master. ...

What she said! Thanks, tricia...I feel pretty much the same way. When I meet a Dominant, I often 'Sir' him out of respect but I'd not call anybody 'Master' until we'd formalized our relationship and defined the exchange of power between us and what it means in our lives.

bearlee

(in reply to tricia)

Post #: 27

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 10:06:18 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kris2012

That doesn't sound right.

And it never will.

They are trying to measure weight with a yard stick for the 893,457,324,000th time in the past 10 years. It simply doesn't work.

But it'll be a fun read.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to Kris2012)

Post #: 28

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 10:24:58 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kris2012

O.K. I've seen a few people so far who have said, "owning a slave" in responce to the question. So, I have another question. Is that really all it takes to be a Master/Mistress? As you can see from my posts, I am completely new to this community. I've read through a few sites and I'm in the middle of my first real book. From what I've read and what I know of myself I would consider myself a Dom. So at this point... all I have to do is go out and get a sub and I'm a Mistress? ;:? Somehow... That doesn't sound right. Or am I misunderstanding you guys?

Well, yes. Basically, because there are different definitions of what 'Master' means.

One means 'an owner'... and so... you go and own someone and you're an owner. Doesn't mean you're particularly 'good' at owning (whatever that may mean to anyone), but you own. In the case of 'owning' another person however, you had better be good at personal relationships or you won't be owning anyone for long. People are not cars.

One means 'adept at' something. Well, that's a whole other thing. If you 'master' a skill... then you've mastered it, and no-one can take that away from you.

It's all about definitions and so on... nothing here is concrete and there's always room for debate and discussion.

~ Elektra, Master and PhD... but actually a slave

(in reply to Kris2012)

Post #: 29

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 10:30:34 AM

MagiksSlave

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Unlike getting your Masters from a College there is no definitive one way answer here.. Some sub/slaves or more lax in what they consider a Master to be and there for will consider someone to be their Master or a Master at all with very little if any qualifications for the title , while others demand a lot more from the one that they will call Master and will not call anyone Master that does not have those qualifications. Also Master holds greater meaning for some then others and while some will simply throw the term around others hold it as sacred.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

Post #: 30

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 10:34:26 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Unlike getting your Masters from a College there is no definitive one way answer here.. Some sub/slaves or more lax in what they consider a Master to be and there for will consider someone to be their Master or a Master at all with very little if any qualifications for the title , while others demand a lot more from the one that they will call Master and will not call anyone Master that does not have those qualifications. Also Master holds greater meaning for some then others and while some will simply throw the term around others hold it as sacred.

Magik's slave

Are there any qualifications for being a Master (owner) of someone..? I don't think so. Not out of the personal level of who I (or whomever) consider to be qualities I look for in a Master.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 31

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 10:43:33 AM

MagiksSlave

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Exactly for you there are no qualifications for beeing a Master.. This is exactly what I was saying. it is different from person to person. For me however befor I see someone as a Master there are many qualifications I feel need to be met for ME to see them as a Master. That doesnt mean others wont see him as one it just means that I dont.

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 3/30/2007 10:44:54 AM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

Post #: 32

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 10:54:07 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

You'll get a lot of answers and I'm gonna guess here that 90% of them will be totally different. That's par for the course. Me personally, I'd say a person starts actually becoming a Master/Mistress when they get their head out of their ass and figure out that it starts with learning to control themselves first. Probably somewhere around the time they get a clue that all the pretty titles in the world don't make them anything except somebody with too much time on their hands and that its the substance behind the style that actually matters. And maybe, about the time when they realize that 99% of the people worth knowing don't give a damn about GrandMasterB because its just another meaningless self appointed label but when Bob learns to be himself, project a little confident assertiveness while treating others with some basic courtesy and having just enough humiliy to realize just how much he still has to learn. Somewhere around then a person starts actually acting like someone most submissives might possibly respect as a Master/Mistress. But hey, that's just my opinion.

a quote that deserves to be repeated!

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 33

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 11:07:19 AM

Slavetrainer2007

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Another title thread? There are 2-3 of these running at the moment.

I think people lose sight of whats really important and get to wrapped up in putting labels on other people and themselves.

I am a Master... of carpentry, hand me a blueprint, drawing, etching on a piece of wood and i can make a building look like that.

Am I BDSM Master? I do not know nor do i care. The title itself is self imposed or imposed by someone not qualified to give such a title anyway. The title of Master is useless in my opinion and i only use it to describe my dominance in catchy nicknames:P

To actually be a Master, in reference to BDSM, i think sole depends on what you are trying to master. To Master BDSM itself would be godly and i would bow to you as you would probably have to live for several hundred years.

But to Master a slave is significantly lesser challange. A language can be mastered, a game can be mastered, even a science ( nuclear physics lets say) can be mastered. To master something, again in my opinion, one has learned everything possible about the subject and has vast amounts of knowledge on the subject. A Master( of non bdsm related topics) learns any new "discoveries" quickly and adds it to their knowledge base.

To master a slave is not to own one.. but to control and have extensive knowledge over one. To know that slave( or sub) to know his/her desires, weaknesses, strengths, history, even down to being able to predict his/her reactions in any given situation. When a slave submits to you fully( not like the crap you may see on here( inet) where doms run around with a fist full of collars screaming " YOUR MINE COME BACK SLAVE!" ) you have mastered that slave. When he/she gives him/herself fully to you without hestiation or doubt or worries and says "I am yours, Master." Then you are that slaves master.

I would consider someone in BDSM that has vast knowledge and experience on a certain subject to be a master in that area. But who i may consider a master of a certain subject, may not be who others consider a master.I have found no one that has came close to mastering BDSM itself as its like Mastering all the sciences themselves. The amount of time you would need to master every aspect of BDSM would take more than a lifetime for even the most dedicated Dom.

In short this is a "what came first , chicken or the egg." discussion and always will be.

< Message edited by Slavetrainer2007 -- 3/30/2007 11:11:53 AM >

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Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to ElektraUkM)

Post #: 34

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 11:09:32 AM

bliss1

Posts: 497
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

You'll get a lot of answers and I'm gonna guess here that 90% of them will be totally different. That's par for the course. Me personally, I'd say a person starts actually becoming a Master/Mistress when they get their head out of their ass and figure out that it starts with learning to control themselves first. Probably somewhere around the time they get a clue that all the pretty titles in the world don't make them anything except somebody with too much time on their hands and that its the substance behind the style that actually matters. And maybe, about the time when they realize that 99% of the people worth knowing don't give a damn about GrandMasterB because its just another meaningless self appointed label but when Bob learns to be himself, project a little confident assertiveness while treating others with some basic courtesy and having just enough humiliy to realize just how much he still has to learn. Somewhere around then a person starts actually acting like someone most submissives might possibly respect as a Master/Mistress. But hey, that's just my opinion.

AMEN!

_____________________________

Witch before, during, and after my coffee.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 35

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 11:17:35 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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(I am geting tired of saying "What Padriag said" so going to post something this time)

1. Self control or at least the pursuit of it. We like to talk about self control all the time in the Ask a Master section, but actually achieving it and doing it is a lot harder than saying it. I beleive I have a degree of self control that is better than most people my age, but still...the other day when I was sleep deprived, food deprived and at the end of a 14 hour work day, my behavior towards a co worker with a bad attitude was anything but controlled. It actually takes a lot of work to achieve this zen master ideal where you never lose your shit.

2. Taking responsibility for one's self and for others.

3. All the attributes that make someone a good person.

4. The desire to Own someone.

5. Humility

(My ideals have nothing to do with toys)

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 3/30/2007 11:22:23 AM >

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Post #: 36

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 11:17:53 AM

ElektraUkM

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Joined: 2/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavetrainer2007
But to Master a slave is significantly lesser challange. ... To master a slave is not to own one.. but to control and have extensive knowledge over one.

And there you have the basic duality (?) of the definition of 'master' (basically i) 'owner' and ii) one who has specific skills) ... you prefer to look to one definition, others to another. There are no right or wrongs here... just people using different definitions.

(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)

Post #: 37

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 11:23:19 AM

Archer

Posts: 3207
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But the question is what is the difference between a master and a Master.
ie what makes one worthy of the honorific as opposed to the job title.

And true enough the honorific title of Master is a thing that is not universal. For me mine and many of my Leather brothers and sisters out there there was and someplaces still is a tradition of being presented ones Master's cover, after which time most would include the honorific. The requirements for the cover are not universal though. and the traditions/ protocols for when it is given vary from place to place and one community to the next.

In the end the honorific is mearly an added level of respect that is acknowledged in spoken words, so you would not be wrong if you simply made your own judgements as to who has done enough, contributed enough, earned enough respect in your eyes to warrant the honorific.

(in reply to bliss1)

Post #: 38

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 11:24:13 AM

darkinshadows

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The question you asked is unanswerable in the sense that there is no exact answer - it is like asking 'How many hairs on the head of the average person'.

There are many options to choose from.

Master/Mistress owns property (ie slave).

Master/Mistress has slave.

Master/Mistress owns oneself first.

Master/Mistress has what no one else has/can.

Master/Mistress just is because that is what they call themselves.

Master/Mistress just is because that is what others call them.

The list goes on and on and on. You will get different perspectives from different people, depending what they were taught - what part of the community they belong to - what country they are in.

Try not to get caught up in the label. Labels assist defining what someone believes themelves to be, but it is your choice if you accept or submit to it.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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Post #: 39

RE: What makes a master into a Master? - 3/30/2007 11:26:18 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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Was just re reading the title and well one thing we can all agree on is one thing that makes a master into a Master is a capital M!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 40

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