RE: slave under consideration

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: slave under consideration

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: slave under consideration

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: slave under consideration - 4/5/2007 8:19:35 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

For me personally, the whole internet relationship thing is not realistic and not something I will consider. Online, I consider someone either an aquaintance or perhaps a friend. Beyond that it has to involve spending actual physical time together. I require it.

I understand that cyber relationships are valid and involve valid emotions for many people. However I refuse to be one of them. I know myself well enough to know it just will not work positively for me.

That being said, I do not understand "under consideration" unless time together has been spent. If anyone wants to be even close to being under consideration by me they better get their ass to Iowa. Until then, they are either a friend or aquaintance, with zero exclusivity on my time or attention.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sweetlilwhat)

Post #: 41

RE: slave under consideration - 4/5/2007 9:36:12 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Domiguy if I stepped on your bag of grapes would you wine?

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 42

RE: slave under consideration - 4/5/2007 11:17:07 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
For me personally, the whole internet relationship thing is not realistic and not something I will consider. Online, I consider someone either an aquaintance or perhaps a friend. Beyond that it has to involve spending actual physical time together. I require it.

I think it's realistic to met somebody over the internet. My last relationship was with somebody I met online. However it was easy to move to the real time, she lived closed by. That lasted for 5 years. There were not a lot of online game playing involved. She actually responded to my AD, I wrote her back. We went Yahoo IMing, then talked on a phone. We met in a bookstore, Yes Barnes and Noble. Then we went out for Dinner and the rest was history.

quote:

I understand that cyber relationships are valid and involve valid emotions for many people. However I refuse to be one of them. I know myself well enough to know it just will not work positively for me.

I'm not looking at what is currently going as a cyber relationship. Everything is simply long distance at the moment. It makes it easier when one or both parties are willing to travel and are open to the thoughts of relocation. For me I'm totally open to relocation. So this makes the long distance issues a little more realistic. I would never have a relationship that was only limited to being ONLINE ONLY...

quote:

That being said, I do not understand "under consideration" unless time together has been spent. If anyone wants to be even close to being under consideration by me they better get their ass to Iowa. Until then, they are either a friend or aquaintance, with zero exclusivity on my time or attention.

I'm going to speak for myself, that for me "under consideration" means I've made a commitment to explore things as fully and deeply with her, without interference from others.

I'm going to say this! I know right now, that I just did something crazy!
It's either a one big mistake or it's one of the best things I've done in life...
The fact is that I went and did this, and it was something I wanted to do.

I'm hoping this is one of the BEST THINGS I've ever done in life,
At times you have to take Risks to get what you want out of life...

"The fact is that I finally found one that I feel is worth the Risk!"

This is a new experience for me to do what I've just done, and I'm
amazed I still have message board access.

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 4/5/2007 11:21:17 AM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 43

RE: slave under consideration - 4/5/2007 12:13:40 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

Whip,
You are adorable :-)

i have been where you are...i use the internet as my main means for meeting people in real-time - it is a valuable tool. And yes, i have done the Barnes and Noble thing! LOL!

your definition of "under consideration" is one i adhere to as well and yes "At times you have to take Risks to get what you want out of life... " you are absolutely right! (in my opinion!)

And to your ability to post... even with a deactivated profile you are allowed to post :-)

j

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 44

RE: slave under consideration - 4/5/2007 5:59:38 PM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

I take begging slaves only under consideration.

< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 4/5/2007 6:02:36 PM >

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 45

RE: slave under consideration - 4/5/2007 6:12:40 PM

ownedkitten

Posts: 200
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline

In Master's house the term "consideration" is sort of like an "engagement" period. It means that you've been together for awhile, established a relationship and are making plans to move forward to something more fomal - a collar.

_____________________________

"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." -Marilyn Monroe

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 46

RE: slave under consideration - 4/5/2007 7:02:10 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

For me "consideration" is focusing more attention to the slave to find out where you mesh, look at limits, general compatibility towards the eventual R/L meet.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to ownedkitten)

Post #: 47

RE: slave under consideration - 4/5/2007 8:24:39 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

its not hard to put someone under consideration or to be put under considerartion on the net but i say that i think for it to be fianl you would have to meet in person

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)

Post #: 48

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 12:01:06 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed

its not hard to put someone under consideration or to be put under considerartion on the net but i say that i think for it to be fianl you would have to meet in person

Yes to meet in person should be where things should lead, if not then everything is just one Big Joke and waste of time.

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 49

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 12:29:35 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
For me "consideration" is focusing more attention to the slave to find out where you mesh, look at limits, general compatibility towards the eventual R/L meet.

I'm totally with you on this one FukinTroll.

Amazing I still have a collarchat.com account, after Nuking my Collarme.com account. So I will continue using the mesasge boards until they take away my Hall Pass or something.

The bitch is dealing with limits and I'm just not talking about BDSM activities, but in limits to what one will or deal with in terms of social interaction with one another. There are things I simply refuse to compromise on or deal with.  One thing that is a bit of a challenge is putting my foot down and asserting myself as a DOM.  I tend to apply this to anybody I deal with, be it friendships, work relationships and family members. It's just not limited to BDSM D/s relationships.

After all the person I am dealing with has not submitted. So it's a kind of strange gray colored territory.

There have been times when people precieved me as being a Doormat, only to get a rude awakening. I'd rather be alone then compromise certain things, or let things slides at an early stage. It can be a bit of a bitch with relationship in the transitional stages, going from getting to know somebody (playing the 50 question game) to actually establishing the foundation of the relationship.

Letting things slide tends to be the foundations for bad habits that will sooner or later EAT the Relationship up like a Starving Chipmonk on a Chocolate Chip Cookie.

The whole concept of "under consideration" is a great foundational moment, either it will or will not work. Not a time to continue playing games or worry about being on best behavior.   There may be a little bit of a road bump making the transition.

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 50

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 12:46:40 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

I have a question to throw out here and I'm interested in hearing from both sides of the coin...

During the early stages or start of a long distance "Under Consideration" process, what was the biggest bitch for Dom/mes and sub/slave a like, when it came down to the Dom/me putting their foot down. What were some of the biggest challenges for Dom/mes putting their foot with another that had not submitted to them yet?

The flip side of the coin, for sub/slave types what were some of things you did that tested your Dom/me into putting their foot down knowing full well you had not submitted to them yet?

I'm more accustomed to things being close up and personal in the real time. With long distance I'm finding the interaction is somewhat limited and subject to anothers ability to go "poof" at any moment they are uncomfortable. In real time at least they are face to face with you in the same room, and simply can not disappear the moment they are feeling less than comfortable. In the real time face to face, you know you have ones full undivided attention and can address issues or talk about things.

I'm finding that many people have rude behaviors or have developed habits that are considered rude when compared to real time face to face encounters.

(in reply to sweetlilwhat)

Post #: 51

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 4:09:19 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

I guess I'm puzzled by this idea of a Dom/me putting their foot down. To me, if I'm given clear rules, its up to me to follow them and the more comfortable I am with the Dominant, the more I keep his rules in mind when doing things. Its just a gradual process of deepening/expanding submission without any need for anyone to put their foot down. For example, someone had given me their rules early in the exploration phase after our first meeting (neither of us had used the word consideration but I think it was kind of like what he was doing) and I just kind of looked at them and asked a few questions without really being committal. I indicated it was too early to think about slavery and stuff. But, I kept the rules in mind and over time, as I became more confident in what was going on, began to use them as a basic framework for the relationship and my conduct. I actually began wearing a seatbelt all the time, something I've never been able to remember to do before no matter how many tickets I got. There was no testing/putting foot down. His style was pretty subtle and I doubt I would have challenged that though there were times when I felt like I was spinning on my own axis, playing with myself.

As for my pet peeve, the biggest problem with using the internet is that its too easy to read multiple meanings into things so its hard to get a gage of the other person. Also, I've felt very isolated when trying to further a bond through cyberspace, like I'm just talking to myself. I'm hyper aware that I'm just staring at pixels on a screen, and obeying a computer. It doesn't make me any less obedient or submissive, but it does make them seem less dominant. And, I've always met the person first before deciding if there's any potential. I can't imagine trying it without meeting the person.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 52

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 8:33:27 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

I have a question to throw out here and I'm interested in hearing from both sides of the coin...

During the early stages or start of a long distance "Under Consideration" process, what was the biggest bitch for Dom/mes and sub/slave a like, when it came down to the Dom/me putting their foot down. What were some of the biggest challenges for Dom/mes putting their foot with another that had not submitted to them yet?

With me Whip the foot is down from the start, the girl just has to learn her place and where those limitations and restrictions are. As extreme as my profile is, it has many elements of truth, just worded to scare the faint of heart. The most important emphasis in my profile is that I am in charge. Now when I find a girl that I am interested in and she reciprocates I do have a bit of an advantage, I can hand out a book and say read this, then she knows what I expect from her and she can accept or not. From that point we can enter the “consideration” stage and do what training we can online before we meet.

A cam is a useful tool of training in my particular sickness. In a LDR you have to grow a lot of patience and learn to use your words well. You have to be very descriptive and may have to describe something several different ways to make what you are trying to convey clear to her. We lack the luxury of being able to put our hands on and set her posture they way want it, to tilt her head in the most demure pose, or to put your hand in the small of her back to give her the focus you know will help as you are training that sultry walk. So we build our vocabulary and use our words to make our desires known.

It is a lot like trying to convey yourself in a thread; sometimes you just have to say it seven ways before the language is understood. Understanding is what we are looking for and not conversion. It is okay that people disagree with us, nevertheless it is better that they disagree with what they understand and not a misrepresentation of what we feel, believe, or where we stand.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 53

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 10:35:00 AM

TantricOne

Posts: 28
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

I think it's a crock. Just goes to show that some don't know exactly what they want, so they play the "under consideration" game and hope they figure it out, in the meanwhile the sub is left to fend off others and hope the "consideration" is in their favor.

(in reply to sweetlilwhat)

Post #: 54

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 2:02:28 PM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

I think it's a crock. Just goes to show that some don't know exactly what they want, so they play the "under consideration" game and hope they figure it out, in the meanwhile the sub is left to fend off others and hope the "consideration" is in their favor.

Although many subs/slaves go on to have a relationship with their dominant, the majority of dominants and subs are in full time relationships with nilla partners. They are looking for a sub/slave and not a boyfriend/girlfriend.

I do not have internet subs or internet relationships. I have a full time partner, another Dominant and between us and individually we have subs.
I have spent far too many years doing this to accept a sub on their initial word. I have had subs tell me they are extreme masochists only to find they have no pain tolerance, I have had subs lie to me about their relationships, commitments and agenda for wishing to be my sub and I have had subs tell me they are into all the things Im into just to try and get on board.
I very seldom look for a permanent sub but when I do its on a trial basis for both our sakes. Perhaps I don’t use the words ‘under consideration’ but they certainly are under that and no doubt so am I as their Mistress.
Now that’s real life and real life is, I would of thought, far easier than a cyber type relationship. On the internet someone can be incredibly attentive one minute and just disappear the next.

(in reply to TantricOne)

Post #: 55

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 2:12:11 PM

whisperedsighs

Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

_____________________________

oh my god that was so wrong! .... again please!

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 56

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 2:28:55 PM

viperess

Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline

Greetings,
Before coming to collarme i havd never met a Master via the web, as a matter of fact i did not know people did things such as that as all my experience was in real time. Once Master, sis and i started talking we realized we clicked and we knew if we all got along as well in real time as we did talking on line then we would want to be together. i was under consideration to Him and to me that meant until we met that i was looking no more. It is of course funny because as soon as i posted i was under consideration i saw the honor or sould i say lack there of by many but at the same time others wished me luck. Once i traveled from texas to cal and met Master i knew i was where i was meant to be and begged His collar which he bestowed upon me. For some being under consideration means just that..you are considering being with that person if things click into place once the computer is taken away and you meet face to face.
respectfully,

_____________________________

viperess slave of BlackTarnHeart
heart and chain sister to velvetvixen68

(in reply to whisperedsighs)

Post #: 57

RE: slave under consideration - 4/6/2007 3:57:31 PM

simplyangelic1

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

*tosses her two cents in for good measure*

If anyone has been in a BDSM chatroom we all know Doms and subs/slaves alike that will never get out of cyberland and practice the lifestyle in real life. They have no intention of meeting other in the flesh and just play games for whatever enjoyment they can get out of it. This includes giving and accepting collars of consideration. This to me is CYBER CRAP. Now I'm not saying that everyone who visits the internet has this agenda. But we all know they exist and have jaded some of us.

Collars of consideration can be a good idea if used with the intention of finding out if two people are a match for each other. But how can you really know if someone is a match unless you have met face to face. I speak from experience that not everyone you have a connection with via the internet will give you the same thrill in person. If there isn't that "spark" in person then you can pretty much consider it the start of a nice friendship but nothing more.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 58

RE: slave under consideration - 4/7/2007 11:35:24 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyangelic1

*tosses her two cents in for good measure*

If anyone has been in a BDSM chatroom we all know Doms and subs/slaves alike that will never get out of cyberland and practice the lifestyle in real life. They have no intention of meeting other in the flesh and just play games for whatever enjoyment they can get out of it. This includes giving and accepting collars of consideration. This to me is CYBER CRAP.

Spot on angelic!

Anyone who does go out to clubs and even munches will soon realise that dominant protocol in these chat rooms is laughable. It takes me about 5 minutes of being in a chat room to work out who really goes out into the big wild world to dominate and who dominates only from behind the keyboard.
Now that’s all good and well, provided these cyber dominants intend on staying just that and same goes for the poor subs they groom because if they went to fet/bdsm clubs and behaved the way they do in the chat rooms then they would get lynched.

(in reply to simplyangelic1)

Post #: 59

RE: slave under consideration - 4/7/2007 2:14:32 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Understanding is what we are looking for and not conversion. It is okay that people disagree with us, nevertheless it is better that they disagree with what they understand and not a misrepresentation of what we feel, believe, or where we stand.

i like this

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: slave under consideration

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094