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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 5:10:26 AM

His1kitten

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i am also here for the forums and to learn from everyone, and believe me i am learning! i am so glad i came across this site.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 5:32:33 AM

spankmepink11

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I'm just here...

And as a side note...it's amazing the number of people from the other side who seem to take offense from the fact that i'm "not looking"

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 6:02:48 AM

LaTigresse

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I am not looking for anything/anyone online except communication. Either humorous, educational or friendly.....hopefully all three. I have no expectations of finding a SO online. Doesn't mean I am not open to it, I just do not expect it. Truth be told I am not really looking in real life either. Just kinda going along with life and living. If someone comes along, great, if not......it's certainly not the end of the world.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 6:11:27 AM

susie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

I'm just here...

And as a side note...it's amazing the number of people from the other side who seem to take offense from the fact that i'm "not looking"

I find that too, not just on this site but others in the UK too. I have been told I have no right to have a profile on one site because I am owned and not looking. Seems this particular Dom did not take rejection well. bless

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 7:13:31 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

I get the impression most subs on the internet are sexually frustrated and are on the net to play out there fantasies. I certainly wouldn't get involved with someone on the net who was not prepared to meet fairly quickly. There is nothing dangerous about meeting in a public place and even turn up chaperoned with a friend if that makes them feel at ease but I doubt many really want to meet anyone anyay. Most have unrealistic demands and conditions so I really don't waste my time with them when there are so many real women one can meet in r/l without all the paranoia and hassle. I've had one internet relationship with a sexually frustated cock tease. I wouldn't have another.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 7:18:58 AM

m1top

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I've met several friends here, one thing that many forget is distance. Let's face it how many people can really cross the country to meet someone. I like to meet some people others I just like to exchange letters. JMO,

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 7:25:21 AM

adanaydi

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Joined: 10/12/2006
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Yes, there are those of us out there REALLY looking... this one has been unowned nearly a year. she's not very assertive when a Master takes a passing interest, and many times she is passed over in favor of the subs who are more outgoing and bold. Many times Masters that she has shown interest in turn out to already have a sub/slave and do not wish another, or they are far too sadistic for this one to be able to handle.

this one doesn't expect perfection, but she does expect a Master to "take charge" once a mutual interest is discovered. she's just not the type to chase a Master about and look like a stalker in the process. <giggles>

ada

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 9:12:08 AM

Quivver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
I get the impression most subs on the internet are sexually frustrated and are on the net to play out there fantasies. I certainly wouldn't get involved with someone on the net who was not prepared to meet fairly quickly. There is nothing dangerous about meeting in a public place and even turn up chaperoned with a friend if that makes them feel at ease but I doubt many really want to meet anyone anyay. Most have unrealistic demands and conditions so I really don't waste my time with them when there are so many real women one can meet in r/l without all the paranoia and hassle. I've had one internet relationship with a sexually frustated cock tease. I wouldn't have another.

You know Meat what you've found is no different then all the sexually frustrated Dominants that I have ran across on the Internet. To be perfectly honest, I'm sick of being first seen a nothing more then a cum receptical.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 9:28:44 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

You know Meat what you've found is no different then all the sexually frustrated Dominants that I have ran across on the Internet. To be perfectly honest, I'm sick of being first seen a nothing more then a cum receptical.

I'm sure its true. I'm surprised that so many doms (if that is the right label) are happy to cum over their computers rather than to get out there in the real world and find a real woman.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 12:24:11 PM

GeekyGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

I get the impression most subs on the internet are sexually frustrated and are on the net to play out there fantasies. I certainly wouldn't get involved with someone on the net who was not prepared to meet fairly quickly. There is nothing dangerous about meeting in a public place and even turn up chaperoned with a friend if that makes them feel at ease but I doubt many really want to meet anyone anyay. Most have unrealistic demands and conditions so I really don't waste my time with them when there are so many real women one can meet in r/l without all the paranoia and hassle. I've had one internet relationship with a sexually frustated cock tease. I wouldn't have another.

I'm going to disagree here. I have absolutely zero interest in online play. Just not my cup of tea! If I can't feel the sting of a flogger in real life, you aren't going to interest me...that said, having worked around criminals my whole adult life, you better bet I won't meet you in person until I have REALLY gotten to know you. You can expect at least a month of over the phone/internet chat before I'll agree to a meeting, and even then, I expect your full name, license plate number, date of birth etc before I agree to the meeting.

It has nothing to do with wanting to play out online fantasies...I don't even talk about my sexual interests until the first meeting. (What little a dominant needs to know about my sex interests are spelled out on my checklist here.)

It has everything to do with feeling like it takes a while of talking to a person to determine if they're worth meeting. I'm a busy girl..I don't have time to run off and meet in real life with everyone who sounds like he might be a decent human being. I'm going to spend a lot of time getting ot know him first. If he can't deal with that, he's not for me and frankly I'm just not desperate enough to find someone to waste my time by meeting every Joe Schmoe who emails me. I'd rather be playing video games or riding my horses than driving across town to meet some internet fantasy man.

Sexually frustrated? Not me. I've got 3 steady play partners/bed buddies *in REAL life*, so I assure you, my needs are met.

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 4/7/2007 12:25:44 PM >

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 12:52:37 PM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

, having worked around criminals my whole adult life, you better bet I won't meet you in person until I have REALLY gotten to know you. You can expect at least a month of over the phone/internet chat before I'll agree to a meeting, and even then, I expect your full name, license plate number, date of birth etc before I agree to the meeting.

Having worked in the criminal justice system with sex offenders for quite a few years, there are many sex offenders you just won't believe are sex offenders until it is too late. I doubt you can get to know anyone through the internet and manufacturing a false identity is no big deal. I don't know what it is like in the States but I bet it is no more difficult to create an identity there than anywhere else. But what makes a person you meet in real life any less dangerous than someone you meet on the internet? My guess is that most of whet you think you know about someone on the internet is projection and the only time you get to know someone is when you meet them in real life. As I have said, it is the paranoia makes the internet redundant for me, hmm... and it is easier to meet someone in r/l where the type of paranoia you illustrate just isn't there.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 1:54:25 PM

Saint

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TantricOne

Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :)

I am truly looking. I have been looking for several years now in fact and still havent found anyone. When I do get an email though, I reply curteously and politely. When I send an email out that is always well thought out and written, I may get a reply back. But that percentage of replies back is very low. It is what it is unfortunately. But what other venues are there? I am very active in the Mid-Michigan groups and even currently hold a board position with one of them. So its not like I am not exploring as many venues as possible. It just seems like the chances of meeting anyone compatible are so very slim that it is almost disheartening and sickening to think about.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 2:22:24 PM

dawntreader

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quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

I have yet to met a honest Dom. all so far have been players, fakes, or wanna be.
patina

patina,

might i suggest a shift in attitude? If we expect the negative, we will attract it...it is not as simple as saying i want to meet a good Dom but in believing it and not entertaining the negative thoughts as you have expressed above. I would suggest this to the OP as well~

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 2:54:38 PM

justagirl7

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"Was wondering what percentage of subs on here are truly looking, or just like to play cybertag(if there's a reply at all)? I've met a few in person, just seems that the majority are looking for a perfect dominant when such a thing doesn't exist. In my experience, one of maybe every twenty even bothers to reply, nevermind get real. There's no such thing as a perfect sub either, but at least I reply :) "

Master TantricOne,

I do not know statistics, but I am sure there are thousands of subs on here searching for Masters. I am also sure that there are many who just want an online thing or are unhappy in their relationships and are searching for the elusive "perfect" Master or Dom. Of course there are no perfect subs, just as there are no perfect Masters or Doms.

I, for one, am not searching for anything at all. At this time in my life I have personal issues that have to be resolved. I love to come here and read the forums, ogle at profiles and surf around. I also state that in my profile I am not looking for anything. Once in a while I will get a very nice email from someone who just wants to converse and just want to be friends. I do take the time to answer them.

I know that some just come here for entertainment and to "play". I would hope that those people would be upfront about what they want, not lead anyone on or cause hurt, confusion and frustration.

With utmost respect,
just a girl

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 3:04:45 PM

pinksugarsub

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i am really looking for a Dom of my own. This does not mean i am willing to cyber or have phone sex with every "Dom".

i told one Man i had been looking for a couple of years, and He refused to speak with me further because "i would have found someone by now if i was serious."

Lots of my F/friends tell me they "looked" (or just made T/themselves visable) for many years before T/they found their O/one.

i accept that it takes as long as it takes, and there are no guarantees.

As for failure to reply, that's bad manners from subbies who think that because they are on the 'net, they can use bad manners. i reply to virtually every email i receive, even if the answer is "No TY".

pinksugarsub

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 5:51:35 PM

Suleiman

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
Now if you were really sadistic you would have them suck on acorns and after that tell them the only lube they get for the "anal intruder" is spit.

Ha! Oh, my god, the look on my wife's face would be priceless, even if she was sure (well, mostly sure) I was bluffing...

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 5:54:03 PM

GeekyGirl

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quote:

As for failure to reply, that's bad manners from subbies who think that because they are on the 'net, they can use bad manners. i reply to virtually every email i receive, even if the answer is "No TY".

Manners aren't real high on my priority list...Like I said, I'm a busy girl. If you waste my time emailing me when you obviously don't meet my criteria, don't expect an answer. I don't appreciate time wasters.

My manners aren't that great in real life, and they sure as heck aren't great online. Sorry, got better things to do than type "no thank you" 5,000,909,9999, 233, 333 times.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 6:01:37 PM

dawntreader

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

My manners aren't that great in real life, and they sure as heck aren't great online. Sorry, got better things to do than type "no thank you" 5,000,909,9999, 233, 333 times.

i think that is what the bulk mail function is for...

However, i do find it troubling that manners aren't important to you and some others here...that humanity is not worth the time of day to so many and that the cocentric circles that we inhabit have no value~

GeekyGirl, i would kindly say to you - i don't think this is something i would brag about if i were you...

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 6:04:08 PM

glycerine

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i make no claims to be looking for anything other than friendship. Which is something another member would know if they actually read my profile before emailing me. Telling me to properly respond to them or asking me things of a sexual nature on the the introductory email - sorry not interested and just not going to waste my time. Especially when i already stated that rude or offensive emails would be deleted. i firmly believe in good manners but also expect them from others as well.

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RE: Really looking or just there? - 4/7/2007 6:05:18 PM

GeekyGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Having worked in the criminal justice system with sex offenders for quite a few years, there are many sex offenders you just won't believe are sex offenders until it is too late. I doubt you can get to know anyone through the internet and manufacturing a false identity is no big deal. I don't know what it is like in the States but I bet it is no more difficult to create an identity there than anywhere else. But what makes a person you meet in real life any less dangerous than someone you meet on the internet? My guess is that most of whet you think you know about someone on the internet is projection and the only time you get to know someone is when you meet them in real life. As I have said, it is the paranoia makes the internet redundant for me, hmm... and it is easier to meet someone in r/l where the type of paranoia you illustrate just isn't there.

Which is why I insist on a license plate number, full name, DOB, etc.. Working in the criminal justice system, it's not hard to get one of my peace officer friends to run a record for me (some might call it an abuse of power, but oh well..a little research makes me feel better and I inform the person that I'm going to do it prior to meeting them.)

Granted, you could have no record here in the USA and still be a fugitive from justice in some other country...and granted, you could have no record and simply haven't been caught yet. You also may just turn out to be a random run-of-the-mill asshole.

It's not sex offenders I'm primarily worried about. Granted no one wants to be raped, but it's better than being murdered. I've worked with sex offenders as well (every thursday night unfortunately). And you're right...they can be hard to pick out of a group for sure!

When I check someone's back ground, I'm looking to see if they are overall a law abiding person with no drug charges, domestic abuse, etc. I'm also checking for basic honesty...was he honest about his criminal history or not?

I understand the point you're making about online personas...people can pretend to be whatever they want to be. However, the stuff I'm looking for during the "get to know you online" phase is stuff most people don't lie about, stuff like religion, political beliefs, hobbies, whether they like animals, whether they like kids, stuff like that. Just general "playing 20 questions" type stuff to determine compatibility. I find that people are actually LESS likely to lie about that kind of stuff online because they're anonymous.

Plus it's just less time consuming to do all that "getting to know each other" online, because I don't have to leave my home. I can be cleaning my house, doing my laundry, or playing video games and talking to them at the same time. Just more time efficient to me.

I completely agree that you can't REALLY get to know people online, but you can do an awful lot of weeding out. I'd rather find out online that he has ridiculous political and religious beliefs or that he wants kids...no point in making the 45min drive to fort worth for a date, only to find out in the first 5 minutes that he supports George Bush or such!

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