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Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:08:55 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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The blow job thread got me thinking of this topic. I placed it in general BDSM so that all feel free to answer.

For the dominant of both genders. How do you feel about your submissive partners's orgasms.
Is it a priority? A non issue?
For the submissives, how important is your own need for orgasm? Priority?...Non issue?

As a submissive female, i find that my partners orgasm is a major contributing factor in my own orgasms, and most dominant men i have been involved with have enjoyed providing me with many.
I'm a very happy person when i am enjoying frequent orgasms, so i don't think i could be involved with a dominant who did not enjoy and encourage them as well.

Please don't take this as a blanket statement, or a mass generalization, but in my experience, which is not vast, male dominants seem more inclined to insure or encourage a submissives orgasms than their female counterparts. I won't deny that my interactions with dominant females is limited, so my perception could be slightly skewed.

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 4/7/2007 7:10:12 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:16:09 AM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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I make damn sure a woman knows I can make her cum as much as her best lovers ever had or better. THEN I start fucking with her head and deciding when and where she can cum.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 2

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:20:25 AM

perderla

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline

mmm, yes, i am also a very happy person when coming frequently, but especially at the hands of a dom[me]...vanilla partners are always surprised by the intensity of sex for me, and because i crave it so much, forcibly withholding my orgasm is both mentally & physically amazing- IMO nothing quite like that frustration! but should a dom[me] leave me to my own devices after satisfying her, i'd be happy with that too, hehe.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 3

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:24:59 AM

BeatMeDaily

Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I'm not only interested in bondage, pain and submission. I find this lifestyle to be a sexual choice also.
Sex does not have to be a part of EVERY scene, but should be a part of your D/s life sometime.
At least in mine, to each their own ..

_____________________________

It takes all kinds of critters to make Uncle Ben's fritters.

(in reply to perderla)

Post #: 4

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:27:17 AM

ArtificerOfKink

Posts: 63
Joined: 3/23/2007
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

I love to watch a girl cum and I love it more when she cums hard. So yeah, they're important to me by virtue of the fact that it pleases me. I also like to tease, make her go without for a time and make her a horney mess. Her orgasm is another tool I use but it's also something I consider to be important to her and therefore important to me.

_____________________________

100% pure Dom (from concentrate)

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 5

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:27:38 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

FAST REPLY, I AM REQUIRED TO DO THIS ON MY OWN [ooh sorry caps] regularly, to keep up a good mood. i average one from Him, about once a week, but sometimes more often when He has the time - He loves to fuck me after a big O

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)

Post #: 6

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:34:11 AM

OhBeMyMind

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline

My Daddy encourages me, and I am thrilled that he is this way

......but it is at his discretion. I think his pleasure and orgasm is a contributing factor to the intensity of my own.

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to perderla)

Post #: 7

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:43:41 AM

steviemichael

Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I make damn sure a woman knows I can make her cum as much as her best lovers ever had or better. THEN I start fucking with her head and deciding when and where she can cum.

since when is the quality of a Master on wether his peformance he is able too make a sub cum?
maybe their are those subs out there measure Master on that 1 min sexual experience orgasm *shugs*.

_____________________________

switch/submissive male walking in the path of and learning of my true desires and enjoying what i am discovering

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 8

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:48:38 AM

Euthanatos

Posts: 32
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

From what I'm reading here, maybe I'm a little strange. A submissive's orgasms aren't a priority, but they do, generally, rank higher on the priority scale than my own. I can be completely content not having (or giving) an orgasm during a scene, or even series of scenes. I like the tension and anticipation it builds.

Most of the subs here have stated that their partner’s orgasm is a major factor in their own enjoyment, and I feel the same. Is this a submissive tendency? I tend to think not. It seems to me that any Top worth his salt is going to be getting a lot of joy out of the vicarious experience of his sub melting into a quivering mass of orgasmic bliss.

But what do I know? I've still got an ice cream cone under my name.

-Mr. Paul

(in reply to OhBeMyMind)

Post #: 9

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:52:36 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

Greetings..~smiles~

Its priority or importance is whatever or where ever Master deems it. This isn't any set thing, and changes at his discretion. So the importance of it isn't what I think but what he thinks, and wouldn't want it any other way.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 10

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:54:12 AM

KCwarrior

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/4/2007
Status: offline

I force as many orgasms on my sub as possible using any tool that will push her buttons. Making her cum just excites me more, and her ability to cum, to include by oral is a must for me. I live by my own Dom rules, and respect that each have their own.

< Message edited by KCwarrior -- 4/7/2007 7:56:32 AM >

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 11

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:54:51 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

If he decides to tie or hold me down and force dozens of orgasms on me, then afterwards (once I can walk again) I follow him around like a puppy, touching him, needing constant contact, rubbing against him. He likes that.

But from what I read, submales after orgasm act the total opposite way, less submissive, so that's why they don't get as many. It's not based on the orgasm in and of itself, but what the aftermath might be.

(in reply to Euthanatos)

Post #: 12

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:55:38 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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I think a partner's orgasms ARE a priority, for me, even if hers aren't necessarily a priority for a whomever 'her' might be.

When you're mixing pain and pleasure, or some sort of psychological dilemna or another with pleasure, the 'pleasure' needs to come from somewhere. Are other things pleasing? Certainly.

But there can be something 'taking', 'stripping' about it as well. 'This is something that I'm going to have you do, and you might not be able to resist.' And that is powerful all in its own right.

A little bit of ego? Perhaps as well. I have been with partners, or partners-for-a-time-or-two that had had problems with orgasms with others in their life. That I was able to get them relaxed enough to climax with me was eye-opening for them as well as myself.

I get more anxious if I'm with someone who can't (or I can't 'encourage' it) than for whatever periodic malfunctions I might encounter. That's a two-way street of course, as a submissive partner is going to feel bad if she can't satisfy me, but that wasn't the question here, was it?

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 13

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:00:10 AM

Valyraen

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Joined: 2/14/2007
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I take a great deal of pride in the fact that I can make Aqua cum a few dozen times during the course of a particularly good fuck... and I don't much hear her complaining about the fact, before, during, or afterward. It's important to me that she cums, for a variety of reasons including the fact that she's incredibly less stressed immediately following a good bout (which means that there's less tension in the air, which means that I can relax, myself).

_____________________________

CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 14

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:02:53 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

nah...not really.

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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 15

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:04:35 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

stivie,

quote:

since when is the quality of a Master on wether his peformance he is able too make a sub cum?

You are missing the point. Until you know how good it can be...you won't know what you are missing. Its like you fear the pain of a particular implement only because you know how much it will hurt.

quote:

maybe their are those subs out there measure Master on that 1 min sexual experience orgasm *shugs*.

Perhaps this is your problem...one minute?

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 16

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:07:02 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

Let's see. So many angles for me. Daddy is very orgasm focused. He has used it to increase the level of pain I can enjoy, take, manage, embrace and crave. I have become pavlov's dog cumming constantly with him. Now as a top with a man orgasms can be a very different thing for a man. Unless he learns to orgasm without ejaculating you can't count on more than one. So I do want a man who masters the skill of orgasming without ejaculating so that he can cum over and over again and still be there for more. Until then yeah I still want him to orgasm but timing is everything. So you might say that I am into orgasm control but not chasitity. Well so is Daddy. Either way my play is very sex focused.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 17

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:10:33 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

i think i get irratible if i go with out too long. Not intentionally of course...... and its not the orgasm.... its the physical intimate contact.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to Euthanatos)

Post #: 18

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:26:03 AM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

Sometimes, just sometimes, on very rare occassions... if I am turned on enough and I pulse my kegel muscles just so.. I can cum and nobody knows...
shhhhh....it's a secwet....

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 19

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:28:50 AM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I make damn sure a woman knows I can make her cum as much as her best lovers ever had or better. THEN I start fucking with her head and deciding when and where she can cum.

Mmmm.. (wipes the sweat from her brow)
you've done it for me again Michael.. thank you!

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 20

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