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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:41:52 AM   
raevnn


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 I'm more concerned with Daddy's orgasm than my own. The more focus there is on my orgasm, the more uncomfortable I get.

< Message edited by raevnn -- 4/7/2007 8:42:24 AM >

(in reply to spankmepink11)
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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:43:31 AM   
DrPleasure


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Someone once said, and I forgot who it was, that "a girl needs to be kept in a constant state of heat and must be made to orgasm frequently whereas a man must be kept in a constant state of frustration. This is the way to build devotion."  Seemed to make sense.

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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:50:45 AM   
aSlavesLife


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This being day 77 of my pet's orgasm denial should give an idea as to how much priority I assign it. She is used sexually every day, and stimulated to the point of orgasm, but not allowed to cum. There is of course the feast or famine element to this, as when she is allowed to orgasm she is allowed to as frequently as she can in a 24 hour period.

I find orgasm denial a useful tool with her because it keeps her constantly aroused and causes her to crave any physical contact I choose to give her. It also increases her self control as it is easy to have an orgasm, but takes a tremendous amount effort to be teetering on the edge of an orgasm and not let go, especially when this happens several times a day.

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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:00:14 AM   
spankmepink11


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Thanks for the  thought provoking responses....I look forward to even more perspectives....

Is it too much of an assumption to think that dominants who are driven by their submissive's reactions to stimuli...whether it be  in the form of pain or orgasm are more likely to encourage many...and frequent orgasms?


Michael.....i may be misconstruing your point....but  in my own realtionships....the better the orgasms....the more i strive/beg to be the recipient of such....that...and the persons general demeanor,  definitely enhances my submission.


stevie, the ability to provide a great orgasm, in my opinion doesn't make a Master either......but the question was....what priority do you place on orgasms in your particular dynamic....i would have enjoyed hearing your view on the subject....rather than your view on some one elses  post.

Jeff,    i can rerlate to the part of your post regarding people who have had problems  reaching orgasm.  I will also agree...that at least in my own case, if my partner does not reach orgasm...my pleasure is severly dampened, even if i know there is a logical and or physical reason for such.....there's always a little voice in my head saying..."if he was REALLY attracted to you....etc..


Celeste...you make an interesting point about headspace  after an orgasm....i look forward to hearing from the female dominants and male submissives reagarding such.   ( i react in much the same way you do to repeated powerful orgasms....mmmm)

KC Warrior.....i generally find myself more attracted to those who believe as you do.  Do you get the same satisfaction  from the reactions of your submissive when you are inflicting pain?

sunshine....great insight,  i have never given much thought to a direct correlation of  powerful orgasms affecting the level of pain one can tolerate...i hope to explore the concept in detail as soon as the situation presents itself.

Devilslilsister...we can have orgasms without intimacy....and intimacy without orgasms...i'm greedy...i need/want them both 

Starshine...would it affect you if your Master chose not to allow you to orgasm...or if he witheld his own orgasms from you?

Ohbemymind....and Valyraen.....orgasmic compatibility...is a very good thing..


Mixi....question....does knowing that providing your own orgasms as an act of submission, make them more pleasurable then if you were providing them strictly for your own enjoyment?

I know i didn't reply to everyone...but i do appreciate all the responses...

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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:02:18 AM   
Alloces


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I personally tend to agree with Doc here on this one ......I prefer to have a girl maintain a constant state and try to keep her in that said state giving her certain things to do during her daily to make herself orgasm and to orgasm often and then should she require a punishment that CAN be taken from her and it is very effective as a punishment.....but then again setting her up to orgasm thru out her day and increasing the number of times she is to orgasm builds up her ability to orgasm hard and heavy when we are together in My findings anyway..

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just remember it isn't the face you wear but the wear you face..altho that is just My opinion and I could be mistaken

for all wanting to see a bit of what I make check artisans forum Alloces Iron Works

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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:02:42 AM   
spankmepink11


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Sometimes, just sometimes, on very rare occassions... if I am turned on enough and I pulse my kegel muscles just so.. I can cum and nobody knows...
shhhhh....it's a secwet....


I've done the same....i've always referred to it as being able to "think" myself into an orgasm 

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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:05:10 AM   
crouchingtigress


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quote:


I know i didn't reply to everyone...but i do appreciate all the responses...


oh fine pink.... ill just go and eat worms...

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 4/7/2007 9:06:27 AM >


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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:06:50 AM   
jauntyone


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From: Anchorage Alaska
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Greetings
 
for myself, this issue of little to no importance to me. Master decides when, how often, how long, etc
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:10:08 AM   
diz


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i am the kind of person who orgasms from the intensity of the person i am having a sexual relationship with orgasm.. does that make sense?

i actually ejaculate.... nearly everytime i have sex and if i don't then later that day just thru thought alone i totally explode, my strongest orgasms tend to come from me pleasing, this tends to happen while GIVING oral sex...male or female.. to know that i am pleasing someone to such an explosive result gets me everytime. my orgams are very intense and take a certain level (a very high level actually) of mental stimulation..... if the person can not get into my head then there is NO orgasm for me however much it is demanded..

(in reply to spankmepink11)
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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:12:48 AM   
KCwarrior


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In reply to spankmepink11,
No I don't get the same from inflicting pain (well maybe a little) but then we are not big into S&M, its just a tool and varies by girl. However D/s and Bondage are big in my relationship, my current sub has a low pain level before orgasms and a high level after multiples. I love to turn her to quivering jello and then apply the flogger, sends her straight to subspace. I know that is backwards for many, but its what works in our relationship. To each their own.

(in reply to spankmepink11)
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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:13:30 AM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

As a submissive female, i find that my partners orgasm is a major contributing factor in my own orgasms, and most dominant men i have been involved with have enjoyed providing me with many.
I'm a very happy person when i am enjoying  frequent orgasms, so i don't think i could be involved with a dominant who did not enjoy and encourage them as well.


This is my experience with my Daddy. It truly is synergy when both people enjoy satisfying each other and get off on that. In my opinion it makes a person a better lover that they get aroused by their partner's arousal, dom/sub aside, good lovers want to get each other off and find it a priority. Sometimes I just like to be used for his pleasure with no thought of my own.. he knows this so it arouses him too... Just my experience.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to spankmepink11)
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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:14:31 AM   
Wildfleurs


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From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

The blow job thread got me thinking of this topic. I placed it in general BDSM so that all feel free to answer.

For the dominant of both genders.  How do you feel about your  submissive partners's orgasms.
Is it a priority?  A non issue?
For the submissives, how important is your own need for orgasm?  Priority?...Non issue?

As a submissive female, i find that my partners orgasm is a major contributing factor in my own orgasms, and most dominant men i have been involved with have enjoyed providing me with many.
I'm a very happy person when i am enjoying  frequent orgasms, so i don't think i could be involved with a dominant who did not enjoy and encourage them as well.

Please don't take this as a blanket statement, or a mass generalization, but in my experience, which is not vast,  male dominants seem more inclined to insure or encourage a submissives orgasms than their female counterparts.  I won't deny that my interactions with dominant females is limited, so my perception could be slightly skewed.


I'm not sure if I would go to the point of saying that my orgasms are a priority but they are certainly important to my owner.  He likes to know and feel (energy wise and also emotionally) that I actively want to be there, with him, enjoying him, and craving him.  So that does translate into orgasms but I think even if I didn't orgasm (which does happen occasionally where my body just can't quite get there), its more about me being there, actively involved, and craving him there from the tips of my toes to the top of my hair.

C~

Edited to add: I have found that the more I focus on my owners pleasure and his orgasm the more I enjoy it.  Hell in general in my relationship the more I found that I focus on him and what he wants, the more it all seems to work out just fine for me.


< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 4/7/2007 9:21:07 AM >


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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:16:39 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

thinking of this topic. I placed it in general BDSM so that all feel free to answer.

For the dominant of both genders. How do you feel about your submissive partners's orgasms.
Is it a priority? A non issue?
For the submissives, how important is your own need for orgasm? Priority?...Non issue? 

I like for us both to be having orgasms.  As I've related often here, orgasms are an important part of my daily life, to deny them makes it not only much harder to be able to in the future, it also throws me off balance, makes sleep difficult, makes concentration difficult, makes me more likely to have orgasms.

It would be like telling a christian not to pray or feel connected to their god.

That being said, making it a big deal for them for me to orgasm, or as if I'd failed by not orgasming is even worse- but then I think most decent people realize that suggesting someone has failed due to inability to orgasm is a pretty crappy thing to do.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_878597/mpage_1/key_orgasm/tm.htm#879237
question regarding forced orgasm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_828167/mpage_1/key_orgasm/tm.htm#828533
Let's talk about orgasms

http://www.collarchat.com/m_807810/mpage_1/key_orgasm/tm.htm#808395
problems reaching orgasm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_118872/mpage_1/key_faking/tm.htm#120062
Faking Orgasm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_125421/mpage_1/key_faking/tm.htm#125432
My Master can't make me orgasm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_672287/mpage_1/key_fake/tm.htm#672407
I'm sorry Master, but I can't cum

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/7/2007 9:17:55 AM >


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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:30:58 AM   
spankmepink11


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Joined: 9/28/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Sometimes I just like to be used for his pleasure with no thought of my own.. he knows this so it arouses him too... Just my experience.


I can, at times,  find it hard not to orgasm  even when i am being used strictly for his pleasure.  ( even though i am without a "His"  at present ) Are you, at these times directed not to orgasm?...or is your own orgasm at these times...if you have them....just a pleasant bonus. 

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:31:12 AM   
Missokyst


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Ok... that was HOT.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I make damn sure a woman knows I can make her cum as much as her best lovers ever had or better.  THEN I start fucking with her head and deciding when and where she can cum.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:35:00 AM   
Missokyst


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Hmm... you may have a point.  I am also more affectionate after I orgasm.  It is almost like I need to be with my partner to breathe.
It hasn't been the same within the male subs I have observed.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

If he decides to tie or hold me down and force dozens of orgasms on me, then afterwards (once I can walk again) I follow him around like a puppy, touching him, needing constant contact, rubbing against him. He likes that.

But from what I read, submales after orgasm act the total opposite way, less submissive, so that's why they don't get as many. It's not based on the orgasm in and of itself, but what the aftermath might be.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Celeste43)
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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:36:43 AM   
spankmepink11


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Joined: 9/28/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

quote:


I know i didn't reply to everyone...but i do appreciate all the responses...


oh fine pink.... ill just go and eat worms...


OK...just be sure and let me know if they wiggle on the way down   
by the way....i like the new pic...you've always had good ones...but i like the face closeup..

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:40:22 AM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alloces

I personally tend to agree with Doc here on this one ......I prefer to have a girl maintain a constant state and try to keep her in that said state giving her certain things to do during her daily to make herself orgasm and to orgasm often and then should she require a punishment that CAN be taken from her and it is very effective as a punishment.....but then again setting her up to orgasm thru out her day and increasing the number of times she is to orgasm builds up her ability to orgasm hard and heavy when we are together in My findings anyway..


I love being kept in a state of arousal...it's like a constant, low level,  electircal vibration coursing through my body....and is an exquisite feeling...i call it operating on "low hummm"

(in reply to Alloces)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:41:24 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


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I have one that can really  cum on command so therefore ready in heat or not she shall cum when called smiles..bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

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RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:58:55 AM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
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From: San Francisco, CA
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Take orgasms away from me and I will live.  Done it before.  I'm really not led around by my cunt.  It's not a big deal for me.   Give me loads and you can teach me all kinds of tricks.  That's been my experience.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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