RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:04:52 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

Thank you for answering my question Melissa.....

(in reply to jauntyone)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:08:49 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

How do you feel about your submissive partners's orgasms.
Is it a priority? A non issue?

Completely a nonissue since he is not allowed to do so. Once every now and agan, I might treat him to one, but for the most part Angel is not permitted to orgasm, I bring him close often but never over that edge.
As for mine, he does not even try. It is not an aspect of our interaction.

DV

DV....thanks for your candor....as this is not an aspect of your interaction...is your partner allowed to have orgasms alone?...or outside of your interaction?...do you?
I'll understand if you choose not to disclose, if it's too persoanl...but it now has me curious....do either of you ever orgasm? And if not...why?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:12:59 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

My orgasms are for Master's pleasure, though. He owns them, he toys with them, he decides when they will happen and when they will not. What my body and mind go through when I am having them is all about him, not me. And the places I reach both inside and outside myself have brought me to some amazing self discovery.

I think of these orgasms as communing with him. He orchestrates my body and mind and I go where he leads....but there is an intense connection between us during these times. And for as much as they take out of me, that connection keeps me craving them time and time again.

Very nicely put...

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:16:34 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

Tigress....thanks for going into more detail...i was really very interested in the female dominat perspective regarding their experience with male submissives.. as well as the male dom/fem sub perspective.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:20:34 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

Puella....thanks for your reply...i hope you get your groove back (if you want it)

(in reply to puella)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 7:23:08 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

Thanks again to all who participated...i've learned alot...and enjoyed it a great deal

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:36:15 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I feel sorry for those who it's over for in one minute. My orgasms take a long time to reach and I tend to try to go for 3 or four in one sitting, which takes longer than 1 minute. And it wasn't about judging a master's masterlyness based on her orgasm It was a qustion of how important do thesepeople find it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

since when is the quality of a Master on wether his peformance he is able too make a sub cum?
maybe their are those subs out there measure Master on that 1 min sexual experience orgasm *shugs*.

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to steviemichael)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:40:35 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings,

for us, it is a priority in the sense that He enjoys it and allows it often. when i'm not with Him, i am allowed to orgasm as much as i want, but i don't generally do that because i've never been a big masturbator...orgasms weren't important to me at all (and i rarely, if ever had them) before this relationship. when we are together, He will often hold me off and tease me, but it's rare that i don't eventually cum (usually multiple times). "thinking myself to orgasm," orgasming without any stimulation at all, is something i'm slowly learning to do. :)

annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:47:20 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

For me, Valyraen's providing with me with orgasms is very important to me. I simply cannot provide them for myself and so I rely on him entirely. When they are given it's both a treat and part of making my life as his kitten enjoyable. When they are denied, I am being punished very severely.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 8:55:13 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

For me, Valyraen's providing with me with orgasms is very important to me. I simply cannot provide them for myself and so I rely on him entirely. When they are given it's both a treat and part of making my life as his kitten enjoyable. When they are denied, I am being punished very severely.

aquatic,

i thought it was interesting that you posted this...when we first got together, i was completely unable to orgasm by myself. now when i do have multiple orgasms, 95% of the time he is having me masturbate for him, so i've learned how to have them myself. but i just thought i'd say that it's nice to know i'm not the only person who has had to rely solely on her dominant to cum at all.

annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 70

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:02:23 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

MMmm.... Oh HELL... I have to spill my guts on this.
My orgasm is important to me regardless if I'm the first or not
to literally get off. Second my sub/slave orgasm is important to me
as well. From my past I have found most subs get off from me
getting off first... However, there are times where I work at
getting sub/slave off first, because it makes me get off... To make
matters worse.. I have a thing for pushing for multiple orgasms from
myself and from the sub/slave. LOL..

One other thing I have to had! I have a fetish for prolonging a
sub/slaves orgasm at times, to the point the can't breath, and their
whole body is sent off into never never land. Spreader Bars and
restraints come in real handy!

I'm sitting here laughing right now, remembering one time where the
word "Asshole" escaped ones mouth from prolonging her orgasm...
Should have used a ball gag. When she was coming back down from
it all, she was quickly apologizing for calling me a asshole. As soon
as the words parted her lips.. I found myself dropping to the floor
laughing my ass off, before regaining my own composure. So I can
a little sadistic with prolonging orgasms at times. I know I've really
done my job right when a sub/slave looses their mind and tounge...
LOL...

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Profile

Post #: 71

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:05:31 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

aquatic,

i thought it was interesting that you posted this...when we first got together, i was completely unable to orgasm by myself. now when i do have multiple orgasms, 95% of the time he is having me masturbate for him, so i've learned how to have them myself. but i just thought i'd say that it's nice to know i'm not the only person who has had to rely solely on her dominant to cum at all.

annabelle.

You definately aren't alone! I've spent several hundred dollars on vibs and dildos, trying to find the perfect one. At one point I even bought a DVD about how to find your g-spot. I've even had partners and very close friends to try teach me! I believe I've managed it once in all the 22 years I've been alive and considering how sore I was afterwards... it just wasn't worth it! To me, orgasm denial is what happens to me when I'm single. I just don't have an interest in it when I'm with someone!

You have given me a thought... *ponder* I would if masturating on command for Valyraen would help. We've tried it a little bit and I felt embaressed. Could be worth another shot though!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Profile

Post #: 72

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:10:58 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

aquatic,

if you are interested in being able to bring yourself to orgasm, i think masturbating for/with him would be a good place to start. that's how i learned to do it, and honestly, that's still how i'm best at doing it...i still kind of suck on my own, although i'm actually capable of it now.

then again, if that's not important to you, it's not important. but that's definitely one way i would suggest going about it if you do want to try. we kind of progressed from him masturbating me to him driving me nuts with need and NOT masturbating me until i did it, and eventually i actually started having orgasms. being talked into it and verbally encouraged (aural sex is an obsession for me) really helped, too. for me it wasn't a conscious effort to learn how to do it myself (like, "tonight we are going to sit down and try to condition annabelle into bringing herself to orgasm"), but that ended up being the result.

annabelle.

p.s. *whispers* i don't really believe in vibes and dildos. most people think i'm weird because of that.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 4/7/2007 9:11:39 PM >

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 73

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:18:53 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

It's important to me in a weird way. It would be nice if I could manage it myself so that whenever I was horny I didn't have to go to him and beg (and sometimes pester if it's been too long). As for the little machines - I love them when someone else uses them on me, but I don't cum well from their stimulation. I'll ask him if we can give this a shot. Thanks!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Profile

Post #: 74

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:18:56 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

you know most poeple get upset about the vanilla cone whine fuss pitch a fit demand how their NOT positivly no way in hell vanilla get rid of the icecream cone it's offensive. * not saying you did or were*I actually think it's cute and it encourages my deviant mind. Soft serve is fun it's pleasureable it's a delight to eat and it can be oh so sensual to watch a girl lick her way around a cone hehehe.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Euthanatos

But what do I know? I've still got an ice cream cone under my name.

-Mr. Paul

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to Euthanatos)

Profile

Post #: 75

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:38:24 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

As a dominant female, I very much enjoy orgasm control but not orgasm denial/chastity. I want to control when, where, how, and how often he comes but really get no enjoyment out of denying it long term, maybe for a day or two just to be able to tease and build up anticipation. I thoroughly enjoy making my partner come and having him ask or beg for it is enough to get me really aroused.

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

Please don't take this as a blanket statement, or a mass generalization, but in my experience, which is not vast, male dominants seem more inclined to insure or encourage a submissives orgasms than their female counterparts. I won't deny that my interactions with dominant females is limited, so my perception could be slightly skewed.

I think your perception may be based on some of the stereotypical dominant female images out there, i.e. porn, fantasy, pro-dommes, etc. I don't know any real life females who engage in anything close to what people *think* a femdom relationship is supposed to look like. I get the same thrill out of giving a boy numerous orgasms as I believe dominant men do when they talk about how their bdsm skills will open up a whole new world of ecstacy to a woman, or whatever the standard male dom line is. ;)

< Message edited by DominaSmartass -- 4/7/2007 10:07:39 PM >

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Profile

Post #: 76

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/7/2007 9:50:37 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11
Celeste...you make an interesting point about headspace after an orgasm....i look forward to hearing from the female dominants and male submissives reagarding such. ( i react in much the same way you do to repeated powerful orgasms....mmmm)

I have found, with the boys I have played with and the one I'm currently in a relationship with, that they are very docile, cuddly, and even needy after an intense orgasm. Mostly they want to cling onto me and tell me "thanks" and I enjoy this time a lot too. Then again, the ones I have in mind are not typical guys, not "many men" and they tend to act more along the lines of the way I think women do after being made to come quite hard.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Profile

Post #: 77

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/8/2007 2:03:29 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
I have found, with the boys I have played with and the one I'm currently in a relationship with, that they are very docile, cuddly, and even needy after an intense orgasm. Mostly they want to cling onto me and tell me "thanks" and I enjoy this time a lot too. Then again, the ones I have in mind are not typical guys, not "many men" and they tend to act more along the lines of the way I think women do after being made to come quite hard.

Interesting you mentioned "intense" orgasm.. I know without a question after I experience a "very intense" one, I can become docile for a little while. My own head spinning off in another world. There are other times when the orgasm is not intense, and these one just make me want to keep on going.. trying to work towards another one. All depends upon the type of scene, mood and etc... The type of headspace I'm in when the orgasm happens. I think the same came be said about submissives, it all depends upon the head space. There are times when I set up a scene and use specific words that build up to the submissives orgasm.

I know many people talk about orgasm control, how many people play with controlling the intensity as well. Be it their submissives or with their own headspace they are in?

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Profile

Post #: 78

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/8/2007 2:08:38 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

Is orgasm a priority? Is food or sleep a priority? Any Dominant worth their leather knickers knows the value of sexual response (notice I don't limit this to orgasm). Just like any other bodily need, controlling it can alter the state of the mind. Anyone who does not know the value of sexual response, doesn't possess the tool set needed control another human being. We're talking basic control here, I find the question kind of elementary.

Well said Hotch...
Your reply reminds me of someone else here...I wish I could put my finger on it...

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Hotch)

Profile

Post #: 79

RE: Submissive's orgasms....priority? - 4/8/2007 3:20:00 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
Then again, the ones I have in mind are not typical guys, not "many men" and they tend to act more along the lines of the way I think women do after being made to come quite hard.

Just to clarify, that should have read "manly men" - I hate typos!

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Profile

Post #: 80