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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/7/2007 4:10:26 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: arayofsunshine55
In the end I don't look for someone to "prove" himself. It sin't a series of tests. It is an unfolding about intersts, values, goals and the like. It is a meeting of minds over time. He's not on the hot seat with me sitting back and saying "show me". It is more about learning over time about whether I want to spend time with him. And for me that doesn't take a long time. A few back and forths and I can get a sense of whether I want to meet for a meal Does he fascinate me? Is he curious? Is he balanced? Is he interested in me? Would I enjoy getting know more about him over a long decadent meal. If so, then I go for it.

Very well put.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/7/2007 4:27:03 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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i'm a daughter and submissive to my DaddyDom only. i would approach any Dom as a person first and title second if the friendship moves towards that direction after getting to know that person. i'm respectful, friendly and nice to them if they in turn treat me the same way. Daddy doesn't appreciate any man mistreating his lil girl.

that being said, i would never strip or play on cam with any man except for Daddy. there's a collarme Dom who demanded my yahoo/msn address because he wanted to see me naked immediately - and that was his first and only message to me. you have to be careful who you cam with - there are ways to capture your image and send it over the net without your knowledge.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/7/2007 4:35:09 PM

Dancingzira

Posts: 11
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

hi :)
I ID as a bottom, who would sub or possibly slave for the right person in the right situation, etc.
When meeting a new Dominant or top for the first time, I tend to run a little thread of sarcasm or irony into my conversation. Nothing overt, just a little hint of fire. I figure, if they still want to talk and get to know me after that, then they can probably handle me. LOL In seriousness, I would simply be myself...nothing added, nothing hidden. Honesty really is the best policy. If they like what they see, they'll want to see more of it and thats so much easier to keep up if its natural. Best luck!

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/7/2007 6:08:19 PM

wfsubseeking1

Posts: 88
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

Sarah i am a sub who with the right Master would become a slave. i also try to be respectful. As so many have said, you have to be careful of the many who try to portray themselves as Doms when they are only trying to get a cheap thrill.

seeking.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/7/2007 6:38:15 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
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I met my Dominant online. He never asked for a nude picture. We live reasonably close to each other. I saw it as a positive that he was willing to wait until our RL relationship developed to that point of intimacy.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/7/2007 9:24:49 PM

Quiatete

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/21/2006
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Thank you for all your replies. :)

And yes, as I try to please the world (although I wouldn't say it's one of my "kinks"), this kind of stuff is tough for me. I just want everyone to be happy! lol.

I know it's somewhat naive, but it's just how I am in default mode. :shrug:

However, I'm aware that what you say is probably what I should listen to, especially considering it's the general consensus.

I should have started on the boards earlier... being young and not active in the local scene, I think I got the wrong idea of how things are "supposed" to go. *sigh* It would make sense that this follows any other pattern of normal life, now wouldn't it?

But anyway... thanks for telling me what I needed some reassurance about. :-P I was kinda hoping that I might get this response.

~Sarah.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/8/2007 1:10:47 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I am a submissive involved with a Daddy Dom

I was not submissive to anyone I had not met in anyway shape or form.. period. I am respectful to all people I converse with, and I demand respect from those I interact with, or I do not interact with them. Even my boss treats me with the respect of an equal. I am submissive only to one I deem worthy of it, and it takes time to even get me thinking about it, and then the chemistry to seal the deal. I have had the types you mention contact me, I did not reply to them or dignify their bad behavior with a response.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 7:09:42 AM

whipingherfeet

Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
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when you meet your master for the first time .your feet should be bare .that shows repact to him.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 1:07:41 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

I am a slave. I present myself the same way I would to anyone I was meeting or talking to. I am polite (as long as they are), and just try to be myself. I wouldn't strip for a stranger on the street on command, so I sure wouldn't do it because someone called themselves a dom.

Yep. That about sums it up for me too. In fact, Master and I have been talking for months, we've had twelve days' worth of visit time (a couple of overnighter visits to his family's house with my family in tow). We've talked dirty, played and petted a little bit (including my sister slave) but we have not cybered and we have not had sex yet. He is Mastering me. He is learning who I am, what works with me, and letting me learn his ways. Sex is not the issue here (it will be a happy aside).

Perhaps an M or D type who asks you to strip on cam so quickly is testing you. Or maybe he's a HNG trolling to see how far he can get. If respect is part of the equation, if respect is important to you in mutuality (and it should be - you can't give respect without having respect for yourself), then refuse. No Master or Sir worth his salt is going to turn it into an issue if you're not already in a committed relationship.

A stranger on the street, indeed. Good one, sleazybutterfly.

< Message edited by slaveish -- 4/18/2007 1:08:52 PM >

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 1:51:57 PM

MissyRane

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First talking to a dom? on here? um..I talk to them as an equal in 99% of the cases, I don't treat them as a dominant really, I kind of prefer the vanilla take on it. I don't really go to great lenghts to try to impress them or lick my keyboard imagining it's their toes..

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 2:34:59 PM

timorous

Posts: 60
Joined: 4/7/2005
Status: offline

I treat everyone the same.
If I decide I might like to submit to someone then I'll start to take that attitude in my dealings with him.
However...

My Dom now, who I live with, didn't bother to wait for me to make that decision and just took me because he wanted to and that was the end of that.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 2:38:30 PM

marylynn

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2007
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I treat everyone as if on equal, solid ground - unless one of two things happen

slap me and push me to the ground - only to tell me "shut the f*** up and address me properly"

or

prove to me that you deserve respect.. common courtesy *heh*

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 5:12:14 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

I'm a sub, but just because someone identifies as dominant it does not mean I will submit or obey them, and I most certainly will not submit to and obey someone online trying to dominate me. Those I tell quite clearly that I'm not their sub and I usually end contact there. Everyone is equal to me until one draws me to feel submissive toward him. I'm that way online and that way offline. I have several dominant friends and I do not submit to them, though I do show them the respect they have earned from me.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 5:20:20 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

When most present themselves to me, it tends to be somewhere along the lines of telling me how lucky Angel is to be with someone like me. At least lately, thats ben about 80% of the messages I have gotten as first contact from subs or slaves, who then go on to tel me about themselves. I prefer that a sub or slave, however they idnetify themselves, are polite and converstional if they contact me. I dont expect titles, I dont expect shows of lavish submission and I dont particularly want offers to serve. What I realy dont want nor appreciate are the ones who eighet write very longwinded fantasy stories of how life would be when they were with me, or those who think it is proper to inquire about the intimacies of Angels training in a first email.
Until there is some relationship built, be it conversation partners or friends or anything else... I expect and speak to others as equals. I am polite and expect the same back in turn, and I am very clear in what I am looking for, or in this case not looking for.

Strangely enough, when Angel wrote to me the first time, he was a complete ass though a very polite ass. If I went strctly by first impressions, I doubt he and I ever would have spoken beyond those first few emails. However, boredom takes its tole and I decided to chat with him one evening.. and its al history.

DV

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 6:19:04 PM

sweetstorm

Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
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I only kneel when I choose to. I am a submissive but I am a LADY first and foremost. Treat me as such or move on, there are Others who know how to treat a woman with respect. I expect the same common courtesy I would expect out of a vanilla date.

What would draw me to a particular Person? Chemistry, confidence without being pushy, being a gentleman in general, a curiosity in me and my personal life in the vanilla world before my interests in the Lifestyle. I serve people I respect and adore. I respect people who are intelligent and compassionate.

Just like vanilla dating, you gradually learn if you are with the right person or not.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 6:28:48 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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greetings quiatete,

i self-identify as slave, He calls me His submissive, i usually use the two interchangeably. by most people's definitions, i'm probably a slave.

generally, if people ask me to do things or ask me questions that make me uncomfortable, i'll make it clear that i am not willing to answer them and occasionally i will just stop responding. i do not like being disrespectful, and it's something i usually try to avoid, but if i am clearly communicating what i am and am not willing to talk about or do with someone and they are clearly overstepping that, especially if they are being rude about it, i do not feel that i owe them any respect. usually instead of being purposefully disrespectful, though, i will just end the conversation.

annabelle.

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 6:37:38 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
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Greetings Everyone..

I identify as a slave.

I'm a hit-and-run on the playground kinda girl...
Almost like the little boy that pulls the pigtails on the playground because he likes you.

I will do a playful tease with some zingers to see how they react and if they react with great come-backs, it's usually a great way to start something up.

It's generally the way it is in everyday conversations for me. If I genuinely like someone I will tease and pick at them (in a postive way), but if I dislike someone I am formally polite.

Sometimes, I'm analytical and phylisophical, and those thoughts and ideas have started relationships too..

But most of the time a cheeky-fun girl. (respectfully of course)

Always,
~curious~

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/18/2007 9:36:35 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
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Personally I expect when a slave is "presenting themselves to me that it be with a complete petition in hand.
But then again meeting me is not presenting themselves to me.
Presenting themselves to me is a serious step, it's how one would appear before me to begin formal negotiations for a relationship.
(But enough semantic fun and games)

If it's a first meet then I expect them to be themselves how else will we both know if we are a good enough match to explore further if we might be a good fit. Polite and only slightly deferencial, (just enough to show that we both understand that we are examining a power exchange fit)

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/19/2007 3:06:23 PM

ScreamerGirl

Posts: 65
Joined: 1/8/2005
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quote:

your submission is a gift.

Maybe yours is, but mine ain't. Mine's a part of who I am, it fulfills me to do it. The only person it's a gift to is me.

Anyway.

I identify as a woman who enjoys being in a submissive position with a dominant man. When I meet someone, I introduce myself to them as I would to any new acquaintence. My name. His name. Etc.

How will I know if he's someone I want to submit to if I enter into a meeting that way?

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RE: How do you present yourself when first talking to a... - 4/19/2007 4:29:36 PM

TooCafn8d

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/10/2007
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all of you have very good input and I'm quite happy to have read them. Since joining this site I've had a ton of messages asking me to move there, be their sub / slave immediately. I develop trust in a person. I can't just trust a person because they say to. I will always address a person with a certain amount of respect up front. Its up to them whether they destroy that respect or get more from me. I am submissive by nature, although my jobs require that I take charge and not take any crap from anyone lol. I'm very much different if you meet me at work and when i'm chatting with you in person.

The suggestions all of you have given will greatly help my approach with certain people.

Thank you all.

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