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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/9/2007 11:10:51 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I feel like I took the red pill without realizing the consequences. Sometimes I think I was too young to even realize those consequences, but then I was old enough to recognize my attraction to the red pill. I hear a lot of people say, 'If I had known about BDSM at your age I would have probably made different life choices.' It makes me a little nervous that BDSM is influencing my life choices, even though there are a million other things that influence my choices as well. To be honest, I would probably be attending a bible institute on my way to being a missionary if I hadn't chosen to dive into kink. It was like the key that opened a door inside of myself. I know a lot of people don't use BDSM in that context. For me, it has allowed me to work through so many guilt issues and self-image problems and in general just pryed open my mind. I cannot say I regret taking the red pill. I wish that I had decided a little later in life with more information, but I am happy with the place my decision has taken me. I do wonder what my life would have been like had I decided to take a different course. I wonder who I would be and am still kind of amazed that experiences and circumstances can shape us so differently.

Ah...the endless conundrum that...no matter how much we try to deny it...our choices do and yet, do not have a huge influence on our journey.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/25/2007 6:32:19 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I feel like I took the red pill without realizing the consequences. Sometimes I think I was too young to even realize those consequences, but then I was old enough to recognize my attraction to the red pill.

I have the opposite feeling. I delayed taking the red pill for far too long. If I could go back, and do anything different in my life it would be taking that red pill the moment I realized my nature.

So many wasted years.

No, I can't forsee ever wishing I'd taken the blue one. Even on my most frustrating days I have been grateful I finally took the red one. Viva la red!! :-)

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/25/2007 6:39:50 PM

Kitte9

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blue pill...red pill...blue pill...red pill...

can I choose purple?

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/25/2007 6:52:58 PM

slaveish

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I had no clue I needed the red pill until I was in my mid-30's. I had no idea I was ~taking~ the red pill until it was already down and half digested. When I figured it out, I knew I'd done the right thing. The red pill filled the hole I'd been trying to fill with destructive vices and behaviors. It worked out well for me, brought me peace, made me a better person. The longer I live Red Pill, the more I learn about my submission, servitude, and surrender, and the better I become as a whole woman ... especially compared to the fragmented mess I used to be.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/25/2007 7:10:58 PM

RavenMuse

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Slightly diffrent problem for Me. The first relationship that ever worked for Me, My 'awakening' to what I am came at the same moment so I've never been a part of that 'other world', never done 'vanilla'.

The fact that I have for so long realised I can't DO vanilla does make Me wonder that if I hadn't had that, would I have eventualy adjusted? Would I have found a way to make Vanilla work.... or would I have simply failed, failed, failed until I DID find My way here? Guess I didn't take either pill really..... a citizen of Zion who will never experience the matrix except from the outside.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/25/2007 8:34:06 PM

petdave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic
Not just asking irish, but all of you who question your decisions. Don't you all think you would have felt the loss of the fetish path not taken if you had chosen to stay vanilla?

For me, "choosing to stay vanilla" was not an option, because i never (to my earliest memories) was normal, and i'm a terrible actor. If there was a "normal" pill, i would have taken it. i said in a post here once before that if i could cut down deep enough inside myself to find "that" part of me, i'd tear it out, set it afire, and scatter the ashes beneath the sole of my boot. Being different can hurt. Or at least, differences are an easy scapegoat when things go wrong.

A bit late for the lyrics exchange, but a free smiley to anyone who recognizes...

She takes the pills, to fall asleep, and dream that she's invisible...

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 2:31:00 AM

ExSteelAgain

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This sounds like the predesintation vs free will discussion. I doubt we have much of a choice.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 7:37:50 AM

LaTigresse

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Right now I am on the yellow pills........I don't want either red or blue.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 7:39:51 AM

mistoferin

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I'm really glad that I was never aware there was a choice....and I've never had a desire to be anything other than what I am.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 4:59:47 PM

julietsierra

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Just thought I'd share...

Today is a blue pill day.

I think it's the rain.

And the fact that I woke up thinking it was Friday when it was Thursday.

It's completely colored my day the most amazingly dreary shade of grey.

Like I said, just thought I'd share.

juliet

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 5:03:29 PM

crouchingtigress

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*hands Juliet some Cinnamon hots*

sorry about that....any thing i can do to support you?

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 5:28:31 PM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

*hands Juliet some Cinnamon hots*

sorry about that....any thing i can do to support you?

Make it stop raining?
Make all the yummy and calorie-riddled food I WANT to eat calorie free (without changing the taste of course)
Send a housekeeper?
Buy me the winning lotto ticket?

I've given serious thought to all of these today.

It's one of those, shut the television off and just go to bed days..

Which is probably the best idea so far.

juliet

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 6:12:42 PM

crouchingtigress

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well at least none of those things have to do with d/s.....

ps i have heard that chocolate crumbs have no calories in them....

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 6:38:39 PM

velvetears

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kyra what you wrote really struck a chord in me. i used to think in terms of "i need this" and when a 5 yr very intense M/s based relationship ended i felt like a plane about to crash and burn. It had become my identity for so long that it was hard to function for a while without it. i had panic attacks, depression, felt like a fish out of water. Each day that went by i became stronger and stronger. Once i was able to gain perspective i realized what you talked about. i don't need to be in a D/s based relationship - i can live and be fairly happy without it, BUT i do desire and want to be in one - what a world of difference. Thanks for sharing :-)

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 7:16:55 PM

Griswold

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Red pill.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 8:29:10 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

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quote:

She takes the pills, to fall asleep, and dream that she's invisible...

Vivica by Jack off Jill

quote:

Oh Vivica I wish you well
I watch you burn in humid hell
No sleeping pills no old tattoos will save you now
He'll never change he's just to vague,
he'll never say you're beautiful
Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do

The apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
I'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
Tormented dreams she stays awake, recalls when she was capable...

Oh Vivica I wish you
I watch you sit I watch you dwell
No crooked spine no torn up rag
will save you no
He'll never change he's not that brave
He'll never say you're beautiful
Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do

The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful
I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep and dream that she's invisible Tormented dreams she stays awake, recalls when she was capable...

Oh Vivica I wish you well
I'll sit right here I'll never tell
no tender scar no twist of fate
will save you now.
He'll never change, he's just not there
He'll never say you're beautiful
Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do

The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful
I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep and dream that she's invisible
Tormented dreams she stays awake, recalls when she was capable..

She's empty and so beautiful I'll keep her here with me

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/26/2007 8:53:56 PM

BlackKnight

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Snatched the red pill thinking it was a red hot, then took the blue when I found out the red wasn't, now I live in a contorted mess , not knowing up or down, no direction, confusion, disliked by other BTUs, feels everyone is an agent smith, yet feeling all is right, the frowl with it all, and wandering after my own curiosity.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/27/2007 3:16:00 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackKnight

Snatched the red pill thinking it was a red hot, then took the blue when I found out the red wasn't, now I live in a contorted mess , not knowing up or down, no direction, confusion, disliked by other BTUs, feels everyone is an agent smith, yet feeling all is right, the frowl with it all, and wandering after my own curiosity.

Bud....put the LSD away.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/27/2007 7:02:05 PM

aidan

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Red pill, any time, every time. I prefer to be cursed with knowledge then burdened with ignorance, and I've never regreted it. Might sometimes lament how difficult it is, but I don't ever wish I could go back.

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RE: red pill or blue pill... - 4/27/2007 10:41:03 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Being true to yourself is pretty much the hardest thing there is to be. But it's the only thing worth being IMO.

Hear, hear.

That, and there's this whole thing about how, while ignorance may be bliss, I've never met anyone who would want to go back to ignorance. Regardless of the topic. It seems that anything that enriches you also has an associated cost, whether it be complexity or something else entirely.

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