RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (Full Version)

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SweetDommes -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/11/2007 1:52:08 PM)

Thanks, M

That's pretty much what I told him when he said he was interested but didn't want to only work part time. 



petdave -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/11/2007 5:41:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC
So, does your husband enjoy cooking?  Does he enjoy keeping the house spotless?  Does he like decorating and making the house nice?  Does he pick out just the right bathroom towels for your guest bathroom?  Does he make sure he always looks well groomed and put-together for you?  Does he like planning parties and creating decorations?  Does he take great pride in cultivating beautiful houseplants?

I guess what I am struggling with is that so many traditional "wife" activities really seem to require a feminine temperment.   I'm just not sure where the lines are drawn is all.   I'd be interested in how day to day life looks for those who have successfully done this.  No doubt I'm probably looking at this the wrong way...



i like cooking. i find it satisfying to clean and organize the house- i enjoy order. You do lose me on the decorating stuff, though... i'm one of those stereotypical "Why the hell are there five hundred different shades of beige???" guys, as well as being more than willing to pave the damned yard and paint it green. But on the other hand, once all the decorating stuff is picked out, i paint, build, rewire, whatever... My wife thought it was cute that one of the first things i did after moving to our new house was replace the kitchen sink with one that made it easier to do the dishes [:D]

But the decorating stuff doesn't come up too often. The cleaning stuff is everyday. So is taking care of the pets, which i suppose has a historically feminine element (the nurturing thang).

But... i think at the end of the day the stereotypical gender roles that our society has developed are imperfect, and trying to create a very binary masculine/feminine world is inefficient. In some ways i'm very femme, which is socially unacceptable. But if you met me at a car show you'd never guess that. The fact that Dominant Women who want a "male wife" who is masculine, and so rule out sissies, crossdressers, and borderline T-girls who would make perfect candidates merely proves that the universe, as viewed from afar, is a very funny place (remembering that comedy is tragedy that happens to other people)



YesMistressIrish -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/12/2007 11:52:30 AM)

A masculine, well-balanced, educated, employed male-wife.
 
Local would be lovely, as many have emailed from far, far away.
 
Good Bitch of the West



ObedientYYC -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/13/2007 7:40:36 AM)

I think I'm starting to get it... a male wife is a man who is in the role of "helpmate" to his partner.   Many of  his duties may be considered to be traditional wifely duties, but its also according to his individual skills and abilities.   I think I was thrown off by the Dr. Phil show "male wives" because they were just overtly feminine in almost every way.

So, it seems its still an appealing lifestyle in many ways (not that I'm particularly likely to find a woman who wants a male wife! :)



ricar00 -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/13/2007 9:28:12 AM)

Akasha,
I am just curious.  Is there ever a time when your husband doesn't want to do the laundry, clean, cook, etc, doesn't feel like it that day, etc.?  i do a lot of the domestic work for my wife because she is the primary breadwinner, and there are times i just want to procrastinate or not do something.  We don't have any form of D/s relationship so it may be different. 
What do you do if he doesn't want to do something a certain day?
ricar00 (richie)



AAkasha -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/13/2007 9:52:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ricar00

Akasha,
I am just curious.  Is there ever a time when your husband doesn't want to do the laundry, clean, cook, etc, doesn't feel like it that day, etc.?  i do a lot of the domestic work for my wife because she is the primary breadwinner, and there are times i just want to procrastinate or not do something.  We don't have any form of D/s relationship so it may be different. 
What do you do if he doesn't want to do something a certain day?
ricar00 (richie)



This is an area where it's really great to have general "chemistry" and see eye to eye on things; neither of us is an overt "neat freak," but neither of us are total slobs.  Our tolerance for "cleanliness" is almost equal.  So if he's distracted by another project and some of the chores are not done, like the laundry piles up, he doesn't get into trouble and I don't jump all over him; however, he is always careful to make sure my 'favorite things' are clean and in place, I've noticed, because that's when I'd end up saying, "Why are you getting so behind?"

He is always first to apologize, ie, "I know I'm getting behind, I'm going to get caught up tomorrow..." and that helps, and things like dishes are always cleared away and trash is always out - he never gets behind on anything that would turn the place nasty, because that'd be intolerable.

However, I think an important point to this is that he never gets behind because he's lazy.  Ie, if he was behind on things because he was sleeping in until 10am, playing video games, watching porn, staying up late drinking beer, hanging out with friends -- no, that would not be acceptable, not even for 1 day.  He generally gets behind because he's working on a hobby, tired from too much exercise the day before, tired from something I did from him, or sore because of something he did to him or I did to him.  I give him "a day off" now and then for tlc because I might have been a bit rough on him.

I think it's also generally not a problem because we live together, this is our house together, so he's just as much keeping his place clean and presentable as mine.  There's a degree of pride in ownership.

Akasha



BeachMystress -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/13/2007 10:00:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC

So, does your husband enjoy cooking?  Does he enjoy keeping the house spotless?  Does he like decorating and making the house nice?  Does he pick out just the right bathroom towels for your guest bathroom?  Does he make sure he always looks well groomed and put-together for you?  Does he like planning parties and creating decorations?  Does he take great pride in cultivating beautiful houseplants?

I guess what I am struggling with is that so many traditional "wife" activities really seem to require a feminine temperment.   I'm just not sure where the lines are drawn is all.   I'd be interested in how day to day life looks for those who have successfully done this.  No doubt I'm probably looking at this the wrong way...

Nope, he doesn't enjoy keeping the house clean, he doesn't enjoy cooking and he's not into decorating. I will admit he picked out the bathroom towels. He's not interested in plants, but does manage to keep both our fish and cats happy and healthy. I don't know if he'd enjoy party planning, as I am not a party person. You're more likely to find my husband pouring over his fantasy foot ball team than a recipe. Yet despite all of that, he's a wonderful "wife". I do not agree that "wife" activities require a female temperament. I actually find that thought to be incredible sexism. I am feminine and have a definite female temperament, yet am not interested in the whole home maker persona. My husband is very masculine and yet is a great wife.



ObedientYYC -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/13/2007 4:16:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
...Yet despite all of that, he's a wonderful "wife". I do not agree that "wife" activities require a female temperament. I actually find that thought to be incredible sexism. I am feminine and have a definite female temperament, yet am not interested in the whole home maker persona. My husband is very masculine and yet is a great wife.


Umm, lets be honest, you are using the term "wife" as it applies to your husband as a badge of submission.   Thats not sexist?  I think if we venture into political correctness in such a very incorrect forum such as this, we are all doomed :)

But anyway I wish you all the best... its wonderful to see people who can make this lifestyle work for them.



BeachMystress -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/14/2007 3:01:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC
Umm, lets be honest, you are using the term "wife" as it applies to your husband as a badge of submission.  
It is not a badge of submission but a definition of his role in our relationship in a way others can understand. I in no way stereotype any current day sex's role. I describe our relationship as a traditional 1950's one with my husband in the "wife" role. We all understand the "traditional" roles of women in a marriage at that time and it is the easiest way of giving someone a quick glimpse into our life. However  
quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC
what I am struggling with is that so many traditional "wife" activities really seem to require a feminine temperment
stereotypes current women (and men) and their place in the home. I'm sorry, but home-making, cooking, cleaning, planning a party, changing a child's diaper, raising kids and on and on have nothing to do with feminine temperament or lack thereof..



ObedientYYC -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/17/2007 12:10:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC
Umm, lets be honest, you are using the term "wife" as it applies to your husband as a badge of submission.  
It is not a badge of submission but a definition of his role in our relationship in a way others can understand. I in no way stereotype any current day sex's role. I describe our relationship as a traditional 1950's one with my husband in the "wife" role. We all understand the "traditional" roles of women in a marriage at that time and it is the easiest way of giving someone a quick glimpse into our life. However  
quote:

ORIGINAL: ObedientYYC
what I am struggling with is that so many traditional "wife" activities really seem to require a feminine temperment
stereotypes current women (and men) and their place in the home. I'm sorry, but home-making, cooking, cleaning, planning a party, changing a child's diaper, raising kids and on and on have nothing to do with feminine temperament or lack thereof..


Perhaps I am unlenlightened, but I think men and women do have different temperaments and many of the differences do tend to divide along the lines of what we see as stereotypes.  I doubt there are large numbers of men gathering in sewing forums on the internet (unless they are involved in the SCA).  I don't see huge numbers of women interested in electronics.    Of course there are exceptions, but I think its pretty self-evident that men and women on the whole are very different creatures.  If this disturbs your world view I mean no offense.








BossySSBBW -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/17/2007 1:12:34 PM)

Damn, and I bought the full set of Ryobi cordless tools when they went on sale for Father's day two years ago. 
Guess I should have gotten the sewing machine instead. 
Too bad I really like using the tools.



ObedientYYC -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/17/2007 2:21:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossySSBBW

Damn, and I bought the full set of Ryobi cordless tools when they went on sale for Father's day two years ago. 
Guess I should have gotten the sewing machine instead. 
Too bad I really like using the tools.


Its the exceptions in life that keep things interesting I think!  I love women who own power tools.



SweetDommes -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/17/2007 3:02:55 PM)

So, by your theory, there should be no societies where the woman was the hunter and the man was the gatherer ... oh, wait, there are a lot of those out there, in history, and today.  Guess that blows your theory. 

I think that most people's temperments are molded by what they are exposed to - so the stereotypes persist because people expect them to.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/17/2007 3:30:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossySSBBW

Damn, and I bought the full set of Ryobi cordless tools when they went on sale for Father's day two years ago. 
Guess I should have gotten the sewing machine instead. 
Too bad I really like using the tools.


I absolutely love shopping in a hardware store!  I'd rather spend time in a hardware store or Tractor Supply than at the mall.  Some day, I hope to actually learn now to USE the tools!  I decided it was silly to wait around for a man to do things for me so I bought the tools, and when I have a project I just buy extra so when I screw it up and have to start over, I can do so.  Right now, I'm replacing the floorboard and vinyl tile in my bathroom.  This is my third attempt. 

Ooops, sorry, went off topic here.  My apologies.  The talk of tools had me all excited!



Real0ne -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/17/2007 4:17:56 PM)

gen rep

someone care to fill me in?

i did not read 20 some odd pages here but in the op she points out elsie sutton which if i remember correctly promotes cuckholding and feminization techniques.  the last couple pages sounds more like male house servants or butlers etc than what elise sutton would have created.





herpet1313 -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/17/2007 4:52:19 PM)

Wow! This is a long thread, eh? I haven't read all pages either but allow me to add my two cents worth. i, for one, do approach my household duties with the attitude that i am the "wife." i am an obedient, submissive and somewhat feminized husband, and i see to all the household duties of cleaning, grocery shopping and laundry. However, as at Mistress Aakasha's household, there are times when rooms need painting or things need repairing and i get behind.  my Mistress is understanding and i am allowed to catch up later.  On the street one would not see me as feminized  unless they looked closely at my nails which are usually well manicured and coated with a very subtle color of  polish, or if they pulled my pants down. :) i'm sure some cashiers do notice my nails when i write checks. If one were to come by on a Saturday, when there is more time,  they would find me dressed in more of a feminie manner. Yes, for me there is some degree of a humiliation factor at play here, and i love it.
Different strokes for different folks. Viva la difference!



ObedientYYC -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/18/2007 8:30:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

So, by your theory, there should be no societies where the woman was the hunter and the man was the gatherer ... oh, wait, there are a lot of those out there, in history, and today.  Guess that blows your theory. 

I think that most people's temperments are molded by what they are exposed to - so the stereotypes persist because people expect them to.


My, um, "theory" made no reference to nature or nurture.     I also never said that ALL women like to do ALL traditional feminine things.    It seems people just read what they want to read because they apparently WANT to be offended.  Sheesh.

So ... when in Rome...  I will now clarify my position.  All women are biologically programmed to bake cookies, dust furniture, and be Stepford wives.  Thank you. [8|]





WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/18/2007 8:53:33 AM)

quote:


Original:  ObedientYYC
So ... when in Rome...  I will now clarify my position.  All women are biologically programmed to bake cookies, dust furniture, and be Stepford wives.  Thank you. [8|]


Wow, I am really hoping this statement was just you being sarcastic, or this has to be just about the most asinine thing I've read in a while.  Considering the potential for asinine assumptions online, that's saying quite a bit.



ObedientYYC -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/18/2007 9:45:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:


Original:  ObedientYYC
So ... when in Rome...  I will now clarify my position.  All women are biologically programmed to bake cookies, dust furniture, and be Stepford wives.  Thank you. [8|]


Wow, I am really hoping this statement was just you being sarcastic, or this has to be just about the most asinine thing I've read in a while.  Considering the potential for asinine assumptions online, that's saying quite a bit.



I think I'm just going to back slowly out of the room now....  (never dreamed that a Stepford wives comment could possibly be taken seriously in a femdom forum!!)



FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (9/18/2007 2:10:40 PM)

You haven't been here that long, so we're not quite sure how to take you yet.   So stay so we'll get to know you.    M



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