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RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 2:53:41 PM

MsBearlee

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Again, Mia...I understand that. I was trying to figure out Kaiynasha's post. I do not understand these two sentences: "I am not here to emasculate a man. Unless of course I met someone who dreamed of being a wife."

I have yet to hear that being a male wife is somehow emasculating. Am I to gather from her post that perhaps one can 'capture' or 'force' a man to be a wife when he didn't want to be one? It was not clear to me WHAT she felt was (or was not) part of FS. A male husband? Forcing someone to be what they are not? The post made no sense to me; I was looking to the author for understanding HER post. Again...what part of being a male wife would be emasculating?

Personally, I realize 'all' in any group are not the same...and for myself, I rather like the idea of a male wife. <shrugs> Shall we just let her answer for herself? This was no challenge...

B

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Post #: 481

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 2:55:34 PM

MsBearlee

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Kaiynasha, thank you... I appreciate your response.

While we may not agree that being the 'wife' implies being less male, I better understand your comments.

Thanks again,
MsB

< Message edited by MsBearlee -- 10/28/2007 2:57:54 PM >

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Post #: 482

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 3:13:32 PM

spirit1975

Posts: 24
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I see it as a natural position for me to be in one day hopefully, supporting a lady.

< Message edited by spirit1975 -- 10/28/2007 3:14:10 PM >

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 483

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 3:20:25 PM

MsBearlee

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What a lovely profile, spirit! The thing is, it's not going against the grain for a guy to finantially support his lady; I applaud you for your ability to express an interest in domestic service, as well.

Were that you a bit closer...

B

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Post #: 484

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 3:42:38 PM

Morsigil

Posts: 67
Joined: 7/26/2007
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In response to the recent two posts by Kaiynasha and MsBearlee:

I am coming in late in the thread, and going off of these two posts only, but that being said I see issues arrising from the fact that the fundamentals have not been definined.

What is masculine? What is feminine? What do these terms mean to you and society at large? Masculinity (in the states, and much of the world) is most commonly associated with traits that revolve around taking and maintaining control. Charisma, wealth, status, physical size and strength, endurance, and the ability to logically and effectively debate are "masculine" traits as they're most commonly accepted. Femininity is most commonly associated with beauty, compassion, sociability, and devotion. These are simply the traits that I see commonly associated with the terms, not my own personal view, or yours (I'm not giving anyone a definition and forcing them to accept it).

What it boils down to is that you both appear to have different definitions of masculine and feminine, because clearly male-wife suggests a man with feminine traits, and emasculate can be defined as "effeminate: having unsuitable feminine qualities". Most can agree that the traits traditionally ascribed to women do not lend themselves to the idea of taking and maintaining control. So if your particular kink is to see a masculine man submit, but he wants to be termed a "male-wife", then to you he is emasculate (once again, having unsuitable feminine qualities) and the term "male wife" may not be for you. If you just like men who submit and may even get excited by the prospect of a man giving up control further by sacrificing an aspect of his gender role then, male-wife might suit you well.

< Message edited by Morsigil -- 10/28/2007 3:45:09 PM >

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 485

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 3:49:54 PM

MsBearlee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Morsigil

A) "...clearly male-wife suggests a man with feminine traits..."

B) "...the traits traditionally ascribed to women do not lend themselves to the idea of taking and maintaining control."

C) "If you just like men who submit and may even get excited by the prospect of a man giving up control further by sacrificing an aspect of his gender role then, male-wife might suit you well."

Well, in my esteem you're way of base on multiple levels!

But, that's just me,
Beverly

< Message edited by MsBearlee -- 10/28/2007 3:52:29 PM >

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Post #: 486

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 4:12:37 PM

Morsigil

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morsigil

A) "...clearly male-wife suggests a man with feminine traits..."

B) "...the traits traditionally ascribed to women do not lend themselves to the idea of taking and maintaining control."

C) "If you just like men who submit and may even get excited by the prospect of a man giving up control further by sacrificing an aspect of his gender role then, male-wife might suit you well."

Well, in my esteem you're way of base on multiple levels!

But, that's just me,
Beverly

Well... Why am I off-base? It may not be just you.

A) I don't think I'm alone in that when I think "wife" I think "woman". The term is traditionally used to refer to women who have entered marriage with a man, and therefore it has strong implications of gender and sex. I'm not saying that's right, or wrong, or preferable, only that this is how it is.

B) So then you believe that, for instance, in American culture it has always been the case that when the term "feminine" is used it refers to someone being in control, in power, of high status, or if they do not have these things then it is attractive for them to pursue them?

C) I'm not sure what the issue here is. If you're not one then you're more closely associated with the other. If a man does not pursue financial success or status (they tend to come together) and devotes himself to his home and his wife, well, that's traditionally a role associated with femininity and thus he is giving up a masculine behavior for a feminine one.

I do not believe that the genders need to be so ridiculously polarized. I do not believe there are many traits that one gender or sex SHOULD lend itself to, but that's just how it has been.

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 487

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 4:19:19 PM

MzMia

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I am enjoying the ongoing discussion here.
Even if it is arguing over, nothing.
Which is common on here.

I started this thread, because this is what I desire.
No more and no less.
This is MY kink and MY desire.

If it is not your desire, so be it.
To each their own.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 10/28/2007 4:20:14 PM >

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Post #: 488

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 4:20:10 PM

MsBearlee

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morsigil,

You started your original post here (#486) with these statements:

"In response to the recent two posts by Kaiynasha and MsBearlee:
I am coming in late in the thread, and going off of these two posts only, but that being said I see issues arrising from the fact that the fundamentals have not been definined. "

It is to THOSE statements that I find you way off base...and I hold my original statement back to you.

But you are right with your last ...it IS just me. I would like a male wife, but not so much an effiminent one.

B

< Message edited by MsBearlee -- 10/28/2007 4:39:28 PM >

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This one, as well!

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Post #: 489

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 9:56:48 PM

FullfigRIMaam

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When I say I desire a male wife, I mean a man who cooks, cleans and puts out after he gets home, to my specifications/desires... I do not mean a guy who becomes a woman when he gets home, unless I felt like calling him my whore/slut/bitch that day, lol. Generally I'm attractive to men, not so much to efeminate men. I feel no need to defend the term male wife in that I don't think wife/female=less significant as a human being, but y'all take it as you will. Much like MzMia, this is my kink, and it needn't be yours.

M

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Post #: 490

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/28/2007 10:39:36 PM

SweetDommes

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Joined: 10/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

What a lovely profile, spirit! The thing is, it's not going against the grain for a guy to finantially support his lady; I applaud you for your ability to express an interest in domestic service, as well.

Were that you a bit closer...

B

I agree, whole heartedly.

As to the discussion of the male-wife ... it's a term that most people will understand to explain the ROLE that we wish our males to be in, not that we want them to actually BE women. Like others, I don't understand how on earth this would make our submissives less manly in any way.

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Post #: 491

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/29/2007 2:02:39 AM

spirit1975

Posts: 24
Status: offline

Better add potential male wife to my ad then

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 492

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/30/2007 2:20:51 PM

BreakHim4Me

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/2/2007
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I'm just amazed at this Energizer-Bunny thread..... it's fun to come back to.

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Post #: 493

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/30/2007 3:01:42 PM

Kaiynasha

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MzMia :) lol. Well it must mean your topic is VERY good.

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Post #: 494

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/30/2007 6:20:29 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaiynasha

MzMia :) lol. Well it must mean your topic is VERY good.

Kaiynasha, I think many women would love a wife.
I used to sit and think, "Damn I sure could use a good wife, instead of my husband!"
Now, I am trying to make that dream a reality.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Kaiynasha)

Post #: 495

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/31/2007 7:15:10 AM

SweetDommes

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I was thinking about this as I got home this morning. If I had a wife, my pjs would have been laid out for me, and the heater would have already been turned on so that my bedroom was warm enough to change clothes in without risking a nipple freezing off .... Instead, I grabbed my pjs, turned on the heater, and went into the bathroom to change (my room isn't connected to the heat/AC system for some reason).

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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Post #: 496

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/31/2007 8:59:22 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

Again, Mia...I understand that. I was trying to figure out Kaiynasha's post. I do not understand these two sentences: "I am not here to emasculate a man. Unless of course I met someone who dreamed of being a wife."

I have yet to hear that being a male wife is somehow emasculating. Am I to gather from her post that perhaps one can 'capture' or 'force' a man to be a wife when he didn't want to be one? It was not clear to me WHAT she felt was (or was not) part of FS. A male husband? Forcing someone to be what they are not? The post made no sense to me; I was looking to the author for understanding HER post. Again...what part of being a male wife would be emasculating?

Personally, I realize 'all' in any group are not the same...and for myself, I rather like the idea of a male wife. <shrugs> Shall we just let her answer for herself? This was no challenge...

B

The entire aspect of what is "emasculating" is so personal in nature and would depend on the relationship. No one sees my husband as feminine at all, and nothing about our relationship from the outside looks like he's in an inferior position or female role. He doesn't act or look feminine, and I don't refer to him in that way, or even refer to his role as an inherently inferior one. He brings tremendous value to our relationship because I could not be self employed and successful if I did not have a man taking care of every single thing other than my work, where I am best focused.

It also helps that his hobbies are masculine in nature. People don't see him as sitting at home with soap operas on TV as he irons in an apron. He irons in the garage while listening to music, often sandwiched between a mountain bike ride and working on his car.

Akasha

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Post #: 497

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/31/2007 9:45:22 AM

OneSlvman

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/2/2007
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i was a male wife for many years and would like to be again, permanently.

slave

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 498

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/31/2007 5:09:43 PM

Cissykay1999

Posts: 61
Joined: 10/9/2007
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The one thing I have found on collarme, is that most women who want a "wife" also want a younger man. I have been searching for quite some time for a woman that would like an older man to be her wife, even if it includes being the one in the wedding gown at a lifestyle ceremony. In the vanilla world, I would appear to be the man if that's what she desires, but in private, how she me to dress would be totally her choice. Maybe someday I'll find my match.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 499

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 10/31/2007 5:27:03 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
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Actually, I thought that most of the Dommes who wanted male wives want someone about the same age as themselves - probably because of the nature of the relationship and the compatability/long term issues. Perhaps you need to look focus on Dommes closer to your age to find someone.

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

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Post #: 500

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